Disclaimer: I do not own MSCL or any of its characters.
Author's Note: This is set of the last episode…Angela has decided to just be friends with Jordan and this is about Jordan dealing with everything…Jordan's Point of View. The song is 'What Hurts the Most' by Rascal Flatts
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
I've been through a lot over the years. With my mother dying and having to face the wrath of my drunken father, I never thought I could feel any worst. Or any better. Meeting Angela was the best thing to ever happen to me. Having her in my life is something that I'll never regret but letting her go will haunt me for the rest of my life. That pain wounds me more than anything else and it's hard…It's hard having to face Angela everyday and act as if everything is okay. She's sees me only as her friend, if that, and it kills me to pretend that she isn't the love of my life.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
She seems happy. Whenever she's with her friends and family she's always smiling and it hurts to know that I couldn't put that smile on her face. If only could go back…I would do so many different things. I would tell her that I loved her, instead of running away from the feeling. I would actually enjoy the time that we spent together, instead of pressuring her for anything more. But I can't change the past and living with this guilt is my punishment.
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Author's Note: Not exactly my best but I'm having terrible writer's block with my other story. To my readers of 'What if She Stayed', I'm working really hard and hope to update the next chapter as soon as possible. I'm still taking suggestions of torture for Brian and Delia. guardqueen