Chapter Three

March, 1913

The day of the wedding had finally arrived. After weeks and months of preparation, everything was planned down to the smallest detail. It was March and the weather was co-operating beautifully. The winter, though not a particularly hard one, had finally released its hold and was now giving them warmer days.

Olivia stood at the window of her room feeling melancholy about the changes in her life. After this day, she could no longer call this her room. This was the room of her childhood, the room where she grew up, the room where she dreamed of her wedding day. Now, it was here and only a few hours away.

If only…

She sighed and rested her head against the cool glass. The feeling of trepidation that she had been experiencing had only increased the closer the day of the wedding approached. She didn't want to feel these things, but they were inside of her nonetheless. She loved Cal, or at least she thought she did.

As much as Olivia tried to deny it to herself, it bothered her that Cal had never once said the words, "I love you." It was always, "I care for you." or "You will make a fine wife, Olivia. We will be the envy of everyone." She wanted to believe that Cal loved her, so she pushed aside the doubts in her mind. She tried talking to her mother about it, but her mother assured her that it was normal to have these feelings. Then she told her, much to Olivia's surprise, that she didn't really fall in love with her father until after their marriage.

And then there was Rose.

Olivia felt her presence in almost every aspect of the relationship she had with Cal. She always felt as if she were being compared to her and never quite measured up. She had heard rumors of course, but she couldn't be sure of how much of it was true and how much was just the imagination of people who loved to talk about such things.

She had heard at one point that Rose was forced into her engagement to Cal by her mother. It brought to mind the conversation she had overheard between Rose and her mother and wondered if that's why Rose was so upset that night.

Then she had heard of some disturbing things about the night the Titanic sank. There were the rumors of Rose and some young man and of Cal acting most unscrupulously to secure his place on a boat. Of course, she didn't know if any of it was true, so she chose not to believe it without some sort of proof.

She wished these doubts that were hanging over her head would just disappear. This was her wedding day; it was supposed to be the happiest day of her life.

The door to her room burst open just then and Emma came running in, smiling and out of breath.

"Liv, you should see the fountain they've put in the garden! It's the grandest thing I've ever seen. Mother is there now overseeing everything. This is going to be the most beautiful wedding anyone has ever had."

Olivia smiled at her sister's enthusiasm and wished that she could feel excited as well. She walked over and sat at the bench at the foot of her bed and motioned her sister over to her. "Emma, come and sit with me for a moment."

"But, shouldn't you be getting ready?" Emma asked, clearly confused at her sister's demeanor.

"Mother and Angelina will be here to help me any time now. First, I want to talk with you about something."

"Okay," Emma answered and sat down beside Olivia.

"What do you think of Cal? I mean, now that you've really gotten to know him."

Emma's frowned at the question. "I guess he's okay for a grown up. He's a bit stuffy for my taste, but then I'm not the one marrying him."

"A bit stuffy? Is that all?" Olivia questioned.

"Well," Emma tilted her head thoughtfully. "He gave me five whole dollars last week to walk his horse back to the stable after you two came back from your ride. I guess that was nice enough."

Olivia smiled and brushed Emma's long blond hair over her shoulder. "Yes, that was nice of him."

Emma turned to face Olivia and stared at her. "Liv, is something wrong?"

Olivia smiled even brighter to deter her sister's keen observation. "Of course not, silly. I'm just a little jittery and wanted to talk to calm my nerves. A girl's wedding day is the happiest day of her life."

Emma's eyes filled with small tears and then she leaned over and hugged her. "I'm going to miss you, Liv. It won't be the same with you gone."

Olivia hugged her sister tightly and patted her back. "I won't be that far away and I'll come and visit all of the time and you can come and visit me, too. You'll see, it will be as if we were never apart."

"But, it won't be the same. Who am I going to sneak off to the pond with in the summer and go swimming when we're not supposed to? Who's going to sneak into the kitchen with me and steal Melba's sweet cakes when she thinks she's hid them from us? I'll be all alone with no one around to do anything with."

"That's not true, darling. I know I can't do all of those things with you anymore, but we'll do different things now. More grown-up things. You'll soon be fifteen and it will be time for you to learn what it means to be a young lady."

Their mother and her maid, Angelina walked in at that time and looked upon the scene with concern.

"What's going on? What's happened?" Constance stopped to look down at them.

"Nothing Mother, we were just talking before time to get ready. Everything is fine, isn't it Em?" Olivia nodded reassuringly to her sister.

Emma quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and stood. "Yes Mother, everything is fine. I'm going to see if Melba needs for me to help her."

"Don't bother Melba. She's in a tizzy as it is. It's time for you to be getting ready as well. Go find Grace and have her start helping you."

"Yes, Mother." Emma answered and left the room.

Constance turned to Olivia and smiled brightly. "Now Olivia, shall we start with your hair? I was thinking of the lovely way you wore it at the Christmas Ball. What do you think?

"I don't want to do my hair yet, Mother. I want Angelina to leave so that I can talk with you in private. It's very important." Olivia said as she stood.

"What are you talking about, Olivia?" Constance's eyes widened slightly.

"It's about my needing to discuss with you some very important things and I won't get married until I do. It's that simple, Mother. It's just that simple."

Olivia waited for Angelina to leave the room and then she shut the door. She could tell her mother was not the least bit pleased with her request, but she intended to have her say.

"Well Olivia, what is this about?" Constance asked impatiently.

Olivia walked over to the bench and sat down. "Mother, please sit down so I can talk with you in a reasonable manner. Being angry with me isn't going to help anything."

Constance frowned at her as she sat down beside her. "I'm not angry with you. I'm simply trying to understand what is going on."

Olivia stared down the five-carat diamond engagement ring on her finger. It was beautiful. "This is for you, Olivia. A ring fit for a princess", Cal had told her when he gave it to her. She looked up at her mother and nervously licked her lips. "I'm not sure if I should marry Cal."

"What?" Constance's face blanched. "What are saying? Did something happen that you haven't told me?"

"Yes… and no." She answered hesitantly. "I'm not sure."

Constance took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes on her daughter. "Olivia, we do not have time to play these games."

"I'm not playing games… I'm afraid," she said quickly before losing her nerve.

Sighing heavily, her mother spread her hands across her lap before speaking. "I thought we had already discussed this. I told you it was perfectly normal to have these feelings. This is the beginning of a wonderful life between you and Mr. Hockley. He can give everything you deserve and more. What is there to be afraid of?"

Shaking her head forlornly, she answered her mother. "I can't explain it. It's just that sometimes I don't feel as if Cal really sees me. Sometimes I feel as if he is comparing me to Rose and I am not comfortable being in that position. And then there are the rumors I've heard since we've been together. About the Titanic and his actions on the night it sank."

"Nonsense, I don't listen to idle gossip and neither should you." She flitted her hand in the air and stood. "Mr. Hockley is a perfect gentleman and has shown nothing but courtesy and respect toward us. How could a man with such honor do anything ungentlemanly even in the face of danger?"

"But, what if he did what they say he did?" Olivia stood as well and faced her mother. "Doesn't that show what kind of man he is? Hundreds of men, women and children died that night and yet he lived."

Constance huffed, showing her patience was growing thin. "Yes, and I'm sure he is very grateful for not perishing in such a ghastly way. You should be thankful, too."

"I am, but-"

"Stop this, Olivia," she said as she stepped forward and grabbed her shoulders. "You are getting married in a few hours. Everything has been planned and I won't have you embarrassing me by acting like a child. You are a woman and it's time you started acting like one."

"I am not acting like a child!" She snapped. "I'm afraid and I wanted to talk to you before doing something I might regret. Don't you understand? I'm just not sure Cal is the man that he presents to everyone. I've seen his dark side and it scares me. It's as if he wants to own me body and soul. Maybe Rose saw this and that's why she didn't want to marry him."

Constance's face registered shock at Olivia's declaration. "What are you talking about? What do you mean Rose didn't want to marry him? How could you possibly know a thing like that?"

Olivia bit her lip and regretted letting the words slip from her mouth. She shouldn't have let her frustration get the better of her. She tried to think of a way around telling her mother what she overheard, but when Constance was alerted to something, she didn't give up until she learned the truth.

"I'm waiting. What could you possibly know about Rose DeWitt-Bukater not wanting to marry Mr. Hockley? Are these rumors you've listened to again? Is that it?"

Debating whether to tell her mother about what she heard Rose say to her own mother, she didn't answer for a moment. But then, she nodded. "Yes, I've heard the rumors of that as well. They say Rose was being forced into marrying Cal and that she ran away from him that night on the Titanic and that's why she died."

"That's utter nonsense and I won't hear another word about it," Constance said coldly. "Mr. Hockley has been through enough without you questioning his honor and" she emphasized on the and, "his survival. I can't believe I'm hearing any of this from you. I thought you loved him."

"I do - I do love him, Mother. I just want to be sure, that's all. I don't want to have these doubts but they've gotten stronger the closer this day has come. I don't want to upset you, I only want to be sure."

Constance's face softened then and she cupped Olivia's cheek in her hand. "I know that marriage is big step, but I also know how rewarding it can be. You be the best wife you can be to Mr. Hockley and all of these doubts will fade away. You will have it all; the love of a good man, you will be the lady of great empire, you will be richer than you can imagine and you will have the most beautiful children that will one day make you as proud as you've made me."

Olivia desperately wanted to believe that was true. Perhaps she was overreacting and worrying about things that were of little consequence. Surely, once they were married things would be different. Cal could be a little stiff or 'a bit stuffy' as Emma had said, but he was a gentleman. As for his dark moods, she supposed everyone could have a bad day now and then.

She reasoned within herself that perhaps her concern over being compared to Rose was more something she felt than what it actually was.

"Olivia," her mother started. "Everything will be just fine. Don't worry about things that you have no control over. This is your wedding day, darling. The day you've dreamed of for years. Put aside all of these doubts and fears and enjoy this moment. You are going to be a beautiful bride and Mr. Hockley will be thinking of no one else when he sees you coming down the aisle to join him."

Taking a deep, calming breath Olivia smiled at her mother. "Perhaps you're right. I guess I'm just being a silly goose. I didn't mean to upset you."

"There now, I knew you would be fine. And, I'm not upset; I always will be here for you anytime you need for me to be. You'll always be my daughter even when you're Mr. Hockley's wife."

The two women hugged and then Constance called for Angelina to return. They set about preparing Olivia for her wedding, who tried to take her mother's advice and put the doubts and fears behind her. She didn't know what the future held, but by the end of the day she would be Mrs. Caledon Whitmore Hockley.