Chapter Five

August, 1913

The next few months passed so quickly that Olivia felt as if somehow time had sped up. Once they reached the coast of Britain they traveled to London where they stayed for over a month before moving on to Paris and finally to Toulon where they boarded the steamer, Marguerite, that took them back to New York. It was an exhausting time and Olivia was relieved when they finally arrived at their home in Philadelphia.

It was during this time that she suspected she was indeed pregnant. It was as if Cal had willed the conception by his prophetic words, "I always get what I want." The first thing she did once they arrived home was to have a doctor confirm her condition, which he did without hesitation.

Olivia didn't know whether to be joyful or sad about the situation. She wanted children, but she had hoped to have a little time to settle in to married life. Cal, on the other hand, seemed extremely pleased with the turn of events and boasted quite proudly about it as were their parents, who were thrilled to find out that they were going to be grandparents. Immediately, plans for a nursery were set in motion by Elizabeth Hockley, Cal's mother.

Olivia and Cal had only been home a week when he announced his plans to throw a lavish party to celebrate their homecoming and impending arrival. Olivia wanted to tell him that she wasn't really up for an event of that magnitude, but she had learned not to come against him in any fashion least she set off his temper. She was especially unhappy about it when he left most of the planning of the party up to her.

"You are the lady of the manor and it's up to you take care of the details," he told her with his usual coolness. "This party will be held under great scrutiny and it will establish our place as the most fashionable couple in Philadelphia."

"Yes, Cal," she answered automatically, but inside she was seething. She didn't care about any of that now, she only wanted to settle into her home and find her place. She hadn't even had time to get to know the servants. How was she expected to plan such an event when she didn't even know her way around her own home yet?

The next day she visited her parents and her sister. She finally was able to get her mother alone to talk to her about Cal's plans.

"What am I going to do, Mother? I'm not sure I can do what Cal wants me to do with this party."

"Of course you can, darling," Constance said breezily. "I have overseen many a successful party. I will help as much as I can. You'll see; everything will be just fine."

"I don't why Cal is insisting on doing this. I'm just not feeling well right now and a party is the last thing I need." Olivia lamented.

"Nonsense," Constance stood and walked over to a large vase of fresh cut roses and began re-arranging them. "I think this is a perfect time for such an event. Mr. Hockley knows how important it is to keep up appearances. Everyone will want to see you and congratulate you on the baby. Really Olivia, I thought you would understand how imperative it is to do these kinds of things."

Somehow Olivia knew her mother would side with Cal. It seemed whatever he said or did was the perfect thing in her parents eyes. Her feelings or concerns never seemed to be as important anymore.

"You haven't been vexing Mr. Hockley with your pouting about this party have you?" Constance asked, turning a keen eye onto Olivia. "He has enough to think about without you adding to his worries."

Irritation spread through her at her mothers words. "No Mother, I haven't been 'vexing' my husband." She snapped impatiently. "I have been the perfect little wife doing all of the right things even when I don't think it's the right thing. I'm trying very hard to make my husband happy, even when it's at the expense of my own happiness."

Constance raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow as she stared at Olivia. "Well," she breathed tautly. "You always did have a flair for the dramatic, Olivia. I had hoped married life would calm it down considerably. I see, however, that you haven't learned to control your temper."

Olivia stood and grinned sarcastically. "Oh, but I have, Mother. I have learned to control a great many things. You see, my husband is the one with the temper and I have to be very careful not to do things that displease him. So, I listen and I obey like a good little wife, just the way you would expect for me to."

"Olivia," Constance crossed her arms as she came to stand in front of her daughter. "I'm not sure I care for you tone at the moment. You're getting yourself upset and that is not good for the baby. Perhaps you should go rest before Thomas takes you home."

Sighing heavily, Olivia felt the sting of tears forming in her eyes. "Don't you understand, Mother? I'm trying to tell you that I'm not as happy as I thought I would be. I keep trying to make the best of things, but Cal is so demanding."

"I'm sure it's not as dreadful as you're making it sound." Constance softened a bit. "Marriage can be difficult and the fact that you're with child only compounds your emotions right now. Everything is still new and you're still learning your place as a wife. Give it some time, Olivia, it will get better."

"I'm not sure about that." Olivia countered, refusing to let the tears fall. "There's something else that I haven't told you. It's Rose DeWitt-Bukater. Everyday it seems that her presence is in the middle of our marriage. And then the other night, he called out her name in his sleep. It was so tender at first and then it turned into anguish. It was almost as if he were in agony, as if he were reliving some moment with her in his dreams. I was so upset that I moved to another room for the rest of the night."

For once, Constance was at a loss for words. She stared at Olivia in dismay.

"I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes it does. I don't even think Cal realizes he's doing it." Seeing the look on her mother's face, she shook her head regretfully. "I shouldn't have told you, this is not your burden to bear, it's mine."

"I'm not sure what to say." She answered stiffly.

It was obvious her mother was not prepared to hear such truth, Olivia decided to change her course of action. "I'm sorry, Mother. I'm sure I'm just being oversensitive. I would appreciate any help you can give me for the party."

"Yes, yes of course I will." Constance grabbed the lifeline without hesitation.

"Well, I should be going now. Cal will be expecting me." She leaned over and kissed her mothers cheek before leaving.

On the way home, she sat in the back seat and contemplated her situation. She realized that she had no one to confide in about the things that concerned her. She would have to carry her burdens alone from now on. As the car motored up the long driveway and pulled up in front of the manor, she took a deep breath and put on a smile.

This was her life, such as it was and she would make the best of it.

For she really had no choice but to make it so.

"Olivia," Cal's muffled voice carried into their suite. "Are you ready yet? Our guests are arriving."

Olivia placed a shaky hand on her stomach as she stood from her dressing table. She didn't realize she would be this nervous, but she was. She had never hosted a party before, and she was sure she was going to mess something up.

"Olivia?" Cal called again.

"Yes, I'm here. I'm almost ready," she answered. He opened the door to the suite from the sitting room and immediately appraised her appearance. Her long blond hair was pulled back in loose curls that Marietta had then wove thin ribbons through. Her gown was made of pale orange gossamer that was intricately beaded all the way down to the small train that fell past her feet, which were clad in satin slippers the same pale orange color as the gown.

"You look lovely this evening, my dear," he said leaning against the door frame. "I approve."

"Thank you," she smiled at her husband. "You look very handsome as well." And, he did. If there was one thing she could say about Cal, it was that he was an extremely handsome man especially when he was dressed in a tailored tuxedo as he was now.

"Are you ready to go down?"

"Yes, I think so." She turned to look at herself once more. "Oh my goodness, my stomach is doing flip-flops and it has nothing to do with the baby." She laughed anxiously. "I'm so nervous, Cal. What if I do or say the wrong thing?"

"Nonsense, Olivia." He pushed himself to standing. "You'll do fine. You're a Hockley now and the Hockley's never do or say the wrong thing."

She turned to see if he was teasing her, but he looked so serious she didn't think he was. He lifted her lace shawl and placed it around her shoulders.

"Come now, we mustn't leave our guests waiting." He held out his arm to her and waited for her to take it. Once they left the suite and were on their way down the hallway, he turned to her and said in a quiet voice. "Remember to smile and above all else, never talk to any one person for too long. Move around, be polite and you'll do just fine."

"Yes, Cal," she nodded, taking another deep breath.

They descended the staircase and made their way to the ballroom where soft music could be heard coming from inside. Two servants were stationed on either side of the enormous double doors and when they saw them coming they immediately stepped forward to open them. Both men gave a slight nod toward them as they passed by them to enter.

"Here we go," Cal whispered in her ear.

Several people turned at their entrance and smiled at them. Their parents and her sister were already there and waiting for them. It wasn't long before more guests began to arrive and Olivia was ushered from person to person, always smiling, being gracious and feigning interest in every conversation she had.

Everything seemed to be going smooth and her nerves were beginning to settle. All of the guests were laughing and seemingly having a good time, even Cal seemed to be relaxed and in a jovial mood. Several times she would feel as if she was being watched and when she looked around she would find him staring approvingly at her. Sometimes they would pass each other and he would nuzzle her neck while whispering in her ear how pleased he was everything was going well.

Her sister, Emma, also appeared to be having a good time as she danced with several handsome young men. Olivia amusingly suspected her younger sister was finally growing up and finding out that the opposite sex wasn't as bad as she once thought.

The party was in full swing now and after a rather boisterous dance with an inept, if not enthusiastic partner, Olivia decided that she needed a breath of fresh air. She looked around for Cal to go with her, but didn't see him anywhere. After several minutes of searching, she decided to go alone.

As soon as she opened the terrace doors and stepped out, she could feel a cool breeze blowing. It was just the thing she needed. She walked over to the railing and spread her hands across the top of it, feeling the smoothness of the wood against her palms. It was so tranquil out here; it was actually one of her favorite places to go to be alone.

She had only been standing there a few minutes when she heard muffled voices coming from her right behind the tall bushes that surrounded the terrace. One was obviously a female because of the high-pitched tone, but she couldn't make out the other. Not wanting to eavesdrop on the conversation, she turned to go back inside.

"Did you see Cal tonight? He's certainly quite pleased with himself." The woman's voice quietly laughed.

"Be quiet, Lorraine. It's none of your business." A man's deep voice chastised the woman.

"Don't be such a spoil sport, Harry dear. It's all anyone's talking about. Do you suppose she knows the real reason he married her?"

"I wouldn't venture a guess." The man sighed heavily.

"I don't think she does. She seems far too naïve and trusting to be aware of it."

Olivia's heart was pounding in her chest. She was frozen in place, she should have fled as fast as she could but she couldn't. It was as if an invisible hand was holding her there.

"I hear old Nathan gave him ten million for marrying her and he'll get an additional five million for every son born to him. You know what that means for the poor girl don't you?" The woman laughed again.

"Lorraine, I didn't come out here to gossip about Caledon Hockley and his naïve little bride."

"I know what you came out here for, Harry Jameson." She teased flirtingly. "I just think it's rather wretched of his father to threaten to disinherit him if he didn't marry. I find the whole business rather distasteful and unpleasant."

"I don't presume to know why Nathan Hockley does anything he does, nor do I care. What I do know my lovely Lorraine, is that I'm growing weary of this conversation. Now come here and let me show you why I brought you out here." With a giggle and rustle of bushes, the conversation ended.

Olivia felt as if something hard had slammed into her. Why hadn't she gone inside? Why did she have to hear the painful truth of it all? With tears running down her face, she now knew that her marriage was a sham and it had been from the first moment Cal had come to see her. He really hadn't cared for her at all. She wanted to run as far and as fast as she could away from there.

A wave of dizziness crashed over sending her reeling backwards and she felt herself falling. Blackness closed in all around her, pushing the light farther and farther away. She tried to fight it, but it consumed her as her limp body crumpled silently to the cold hardness of the ground.