Chapter Six
The sound of hushed whispers seemed to be all around Olivia. She felt odd and couldn't seem to quite figure out why. She tried to move, but her body felt heavy and uncoordinated. She then tried to open her heavy-lidded eyes and did manage to for a fraction, although everything was blurred.
"I think she's coming to," a deep male voice said close by.
She felt her hand being lifted and then she felt her cheek being stroked. "Olivia, it's Cal, can you hear me?"
She turned her head toward the sound of his voice and tried to open her eyes again. Ever so slowly she managed to finally open them and focus on her husband's concerned face.
"Cal?" she questioned groggily. "Where am I?"
"In our room," he answered.
"Why am I here? What happened?"
"I don't know, my dear. You were found outside unconscious. You were brought upstairs and the doctor was summoned immediately. I was hoping you could tell us what happened."
Olivia searched her mind, but couldn't seem to remember. She slowly shook her head. "I don't know… I don't know what happened. I can't remember."
Cal's features darkened momentarily, but he brushed it off quickly. "Perhaps it will come back to you later. The important thing is that you and the baby are alright."
"The baby," she whispered frantically and placed a protective hand on her stomach. "Is it…okay? Is everything okay with the baby?"
"Yes, the doctor has given you a thorough examination and everything is just fine. You gave us quite a scare, Olivia."
As everything became clearer to her, she looked around her and saw her parents and sister, as well as Cal's parents and her doctor. "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. I went outside for a breath of air and that's all I can remember."
"As I said, the main thing is that you and the baby are alright." Cal repeated as he stood. "I think you should rest now."
She nodded as he stepped back and her mother came forward to take her hand. "Olivia, we were so afraid something terrible had happened. Thank goodness you're alright."
"I'm fine, mother. I just feel very tired."
"Of course," she bent to kiss her forehead. "We'll leave you now, darling. I'll call tomorrow to see how you're doing."
Her father and sister hugged her as did Cal's mother. When Nathan Hockley came by her bed, she felt a sense of dread wash over her, as if a dark cloud had came overhead. He smiled at her and she stared back at him wishing he would go away. She didn't understand this feeling, but it was there nonetheless. He saw the change come over and his smile gave way to a puzzled frown. She quickly averted her eyes until she knew he had left her bedside.
Dr. Covington stopped beside her before leaving as well. "I'll come back tomorrow to check on your progress. But, as I told your husband, you're young and healthy and I don't foresee any complications. Just rest my dear, that's the main thing."
Olivia nodded at him as he turned and left the room. Once she and Cal were alone, he came back over to the bed and sat down beside her. He smiled at her, but there was something dark and cold in his eyes. He leaned forward and lifted one of her long golden curls and wrapped it around his finger. "Okay Olivia, it's just you and me, we're alone. Now, tell me what happened out there on the terrace."
Olivia looked up at him and shook her head. "I told you, I can't remember."
He stared intently at her for a moment and then gave her a cynical smile. "You don't expect for me to believe that do you? Something must have occurred, something you're trying to hide from me. Now, I will ask again… what happened?"
She stared wide-eyed at him, her heart pounding in her chest. He didn't believe her? She licked her dry lips to answer him. "Cal, I honestly don't know. I went outside to get some air and the next thing I know, I'm right here. You have to believe me."
He gazed coolly down at her for a breathless moment. "Very well, Olivia. I shall take your word for it, but if I ever find out that you've lied to me, I won't be as understanding. Is that in any way unclear?"
Olivia couldn't speak so she only responded with a shake of her head.
"I'll send Angelina in here to stay with you. We still have guests to attend to that haven't left yet." He stood and straightened his suit, taking great care to smooth everything out. "Stay in here and rest, I don't want you to exert yourself. If you need anything Angelina will take care of it."
"Yes, Cal." she answered quietly.
She watched his retreating form and felt a sense of relief when she was finally alone. She was hurt at Cal's reaction, but worse than that, she was becoming accustomed to it. His cool attitude toward her was not what she needed; she needed comfort, reassurance and most of all his love. But, she was beginning to truly believe that she never had it.
A sense of foreboding and sadness gripped her. She felt the same feeling when Nathan Hockley came near her, but she couldn't figure out why.
As she lay there in the quiet she went over in her mind all that had happened, but she simply could not remember why she had fainted. The very last memory she had was standing on the terrace and the next thing she knew she was lying here with everyone around her.
Why couldn't she remember? It was as if a piece of her memory had been removed. It was very disconcerting. And Cal's accusation that she was keeping something from him was unfair. She had never lied to her husband, but she doubted she could say the same for him.
Angelina came in a short time later and helped her undress and get ready for bed. Hours passed, but Cal never came back to their room. Eventually she fell asleep and it was only when the morning came that she realized that he had never came back and she had spent the night alone.
Olivia slid from the bed and wrapped her dressing gown around her. She felt a little unsteady on her feet, but after a few minutes it passed. She made her way to the hall where the early morning light filtered through the high, cut glass windows. Everything was so quiet, almost too quiet.
She came down the staircase, doing a cursory check of the foyer and the outlying doors for any signs of anything amiss. As she rounded the bottom of the stairs she heard soft music coming from the library. She turned and walked slowly and silently toward the doors. When she reached them, she listened for any movement from inside but didn't hear anything.
Grasping the brass handle, she turned the knob and opened it quietly, peeking inside as she did. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight she saw.
There on the long, leather sofa lay Cal and wrapped his arms was a beautifully framed photograph of Rose DeWitt-Bukater.
Numbly, she closed the door and leaned back against it. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes but she refused to let them. She slowly made her way back to the solitude of her room. Closing the door behind her, she walked over to the dressing table and sat down on the cushioned bench. Her reflection caught her attention. Her eyes were wide and her face pale, she looked like she felt… dazed.
Every time she closed her eyes she saw her husband clutching the photograph of his beloved Rose. Betrayal, anger and resentment flooded her until she could no longer hold it back. She grabbed a bottle of perfume as she stood and flung it across the room with a frustrated scream. After the release of it, she fell to the floor in a crumpled heap and cried uncontrollably until there was nothing left in her but dry hacking sobs.
Every hope and dream she had fell away as she realized that she never had Cal's love. It was a sham, a cruel hoax and it hurt more than she thought possible. It wasn't fair, it just wasn't fair. She had trusted him and more than that, she loved him. She still did in spite of it all. Oh Dear God, what was she going to do? How could she stay and yet how could she leave? She was carrying his child, the Hockley heir. She was trapped – trapped in a marriage that was nothing but a lie.
Grasping the bench, she pulled herself to standing and tried to compose herself as best she could. A light tap at the door startled her.
"Who is it?" she asked wiping the remaining tears from her cheeks.
"Angelina, ma'am," came the response. "I thought I heard something. Are you alright?"
Taking a calming breath, she padded over to the door and opened it. Upon seeing the girl's concerned face, she smiled to mask her feelings. "I'm fine, Angelina. Nothing to worry about, I assure you."
The girl nodded, but Olivia couldn't be sure if she believed her or not. She knew the servants loved to gossip among themselves and she would rather not give them any more fodder than she had to. She started to turn and shut the door, but stopped. "Could you please have a tray sent up? I'm still not feeling well and I'd rather not eat downstairs this morning."
"Yes ma'am," Angelina gave a small curtsy. "Will Mr. Hockley be joining you?"
Olivia paused for a moment before answering. "No, I will be eating alone." With that, she shut the door and leaned back against it. She couldn't face Cal just yet, it would be too hard. Her emotions were too raw at the moment.
She quickly dressed in a loose, apricot caftan and pulled her hair back and secured it with a matching ribbon. She had no intention of leaving her room today so there was no need to dress in her usual manner. She was sitting on her chaise in front of one of the large windows when she heard the door open. Fully expecting to see Angelina, it was Cal who was bearing her tray instead.
"Good morning, sweetling." He smiled as he pushed the door shut with his foot. "I intercepted Angelina." He held up the tray toward her.
Olivia could feel her heart thumping loudly in her ears as he approached and sat the tray down on her lap.
"I hope you slept well after your incident last night."
She couldn't answer for a moment. She knew she had to remain calm, she couldn't let Cal see how upset she was. As she looked down at the food on the tray, it suddenly looked extremely unappetizing.
"Olivia?" he prompted.
"Yes, I… I slept fine," she finally answered.
Seemingly satisfied with her answer, he took the yellow linen napkin on the tray, shook it out and spread it across her midriff. "I slept in one of the guest rooms so as not to disturb you."
Liar! She cried in her mind. She couldn't bear to look at him so she turned her head away to look at some unknown point out of the window.
"You still look a little pale this morning. I will have Dr. Covington come over to look you over to make sure everything is alright."
When she didn't answer, he hooked her chin with his finger and guided her face around to meet his. "Are you sure everything is okay, Olivia? You seem out of sorts. Is there something you're not telling me?"
She licked her dry lips before answering. "No, Cal. I'm just not feeling well, that's all."
Frowning at her, he leaned back and studied her features. "You are keeping something from me. Is it about last night? Did you remember what happened before you were found outside unconscious?"
"No," she shook her head. "I don't remember what happened. I told you that."
"You aren't being truthful with me, Olivia," he said in a low, callous purr.
She looked up at him and the image of him holding Rose's picture invaded her mind. She wanted to scream it out at him, to tell him what she saw and that she knew that their marriage was a lie. She wanted to lash out at him, to hurt him the way she was hurting, but she couldn't. She was too afraid of his reaction.
"I'm not being untruthful, Cal," she finally answered. "I guess I'm weaker than I thought from everything that happened last night."
He stared at her for a few minutes more and then lifted his head slightly. "Very well, but don't forget my warning. If I find that you have lied to me, I won't be so forgiving. I must be able to trust you, Olivia. After all, you are carrying my son, the heir to the Hockley name."
Her eyes snapped then. "Why are you so sure this is going to be a son?"
He laughed as if she had asked the most ridiculous question. "Because sweetling, I chose for it to be so."
Olivia cringed when he leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.
"Enjoy your breakfast. I shall be out for most of the day. Dr. Covington will be along after while to check on you." He stood, straightened out his suit and smiled unflappably down at her.
She watched as he strode casually across the room and exited it. Between the tension she felt and the aroma of the food before her, her stomach began to roll violently. She pushed it aside and stood, barely reaching the chamber pot before she was sick.
After a few minutes, she leaned back and wiped her face with the linen napkin. Glancing around the room, she felt so alone. In that moment, she would gladly have given up everything to be free from this life. She was only nineteen and already her life was over. Everything she believed in was gone and she was left with nothing but this empty, cold feeling. How ironic that only a few short months ago she thought she was living a fairytale and now nothing could be farther from the truth. Nothing at all.