Depression
Chapter 2
Let the Help Begin
They arrived at school and entered the Great Hall. Harry kept the same frown on his face. It wasn't a depressed frown, it was more of an "I'm angry and I'm thinking about stuff, so mess with me, and you're going to get hurt" frown. Everyone pretty much understood the frown and left him alone. He watched the sorting, cheered a little for the new Gryffindors, and listened to Dumbledore's usual "Beginning of the Year" speech. Then he announced that Hermione had been made Head Girl, and Draco had been made Head Boy. No one was particularly surprised.
Finally it was time to go to sleep. Harry couldn't have been happier that he could be away from everyone else. As Dumbledore would say, "One can never think properly when surrounded by happy souls." He trudged up the steps and into the familiar dormitory. He walked across the room slowly, not looking around him. He jumped when he heard someone say, "Hello, Harry." He turned slowly, a confused look on his face, to see Neville, sitting on his own bed.
"Hi, Neville."
"How was your summer?"
"It was okay."
"Mine was okay, too."
"That's great, Neville."
"You still depressed?"
"Depressed? I didn't say anything about being depressed! Who said I was depressed?"
"Harry, everyone can see it. You used to be such a fun guy, and now you're like…a slug. Boring, uninteresting, and doesn't care about anything going on around it. You used to be my hero, and now I can't even look at you without disgust."
"Neville, don't upset me. I'm about to punch the next person who even looks at me funny."
"I'm sorry, Harry, but it had to be said. You can punch me or whatever you want. I've stopped caring, too. One your hero turns into whatever it is you are, it's hard to be happy about much anything."
He clenched his fist, wanting to punch Neville in the face, but decided that he really wasn't in the mood right then.
"Goodnight, Neville."
"Night, Harry."
Harry put on his pajamas and crawled into bed, trying to pretend that the incident with Neville never happened. He heard the rest of his dorm members come in at different points; Dean Thomas was first, then Ron, and finally Seamus Finnigan. They started talking loudly to Neville, who apparently hadn't gone to sleep when Harry had. Harry tried listening to the conversation, but soon found it pointless and drifted off into sleep.
The first few days of school were busy and hectic, what with everyone trying to get used to their schedules and the sudden change from summer time to school. On one particular day, Hermione came to the Gryffindor Common Room from the Head Tower, looking for Harry. She saw him sitting on the couch with a book in his lap. He stomach fluttered when she saw him, but she remained under control as she walked over to him, plopping down on the couch next to him.
"Hi, Harry."
He said without looking up, "Hey, 'Mione."
"Um, I was just wondering…do you still want me to help you with this whole…depression thing?"
For a moment, Harry wanted to tell her off for calling him depressed as Neville had done, but he stopped himself, remembering what Neville had said to him. You used to be such a fun guy, and now you're like…slug. Boring, uninteresting, and doesn't care about anything going on around it. He didn't want to be a slug anymore, he wanted to be the "fun guy" everyone used to know and love. He said to her, "Yeah…I don't know what you'll be able to do…but this slug is ready to turn back into that "fun guy" he used to be."
Hermione, puzzled, said, "Slug? Fun guy? Where's this coming from, Harry?"
"Oh, just something Neville said."
"Neville? Neville Longbottom actually said something that got through to you! Wow."
"Hey!"
"Sorry. Okay, so come to the Room of Requirement tonight at about 9. I guess we'll start there."
She sighed and got up, leaving Harry to get back to his book.
That night Harry set out for the Room of Requirement, wondering what Hermione would do to help them. He got the room, and realizing he didn't know what to do, he sat down by the place the door was supposed to be. A short while later Hermione got there, puzzled as to why he was on the floor.
"Uh, Harry…why are you on the floor and not in the room?"
"I didn't know what we needed in the room, so I couldn't very well go into the non-existent room now could I?"
She laughed softly and he smiled, realizing he loved her smile. Hermione saw the smile and got flutters in her stomach at the sight of it. It had been so long since he had smiled. "I guess that was my bad. Sorry!" She laughed softly again and walked back and forth 3 times, thinking about the room she needed. The door appeared and they entered the room.
Harry looked around the room, feeling a little weird about this whole thing. The room looked much like a psychiatrist's office. A couch was in the middle of the room, and a big armchair stood facing it. It was a small room, but comfortable. Hermione sat down in the chair and gestured for Harry to sit on the couch.
"Er, Hermione?"
"Hm?"
"Just curious…why are we in here?"
"Well, I figure that we should start with you letting everything out. It's what psychiatrists do."
Harry shrugged and spread out on the couch.
"Now, Harry, I have realized something."
"And what's that, Miss Psychiatrist?"
She laughed and said, "That!"
"What?"
"You're being…funny again. You're talking more. You're laughing more. You're starting to be the old Harry that I love." She had let the last part slip out. Harry, who wasn't giving her his complete attention, snapped back to what she was saying and said, "What did you just say?" She stammered out, "Oh, uh…what?"
"You said something about me being the old Harry…then I didn't quite catch that last part. What did you say?"
"Uh, I just said that you're starting to be the old Harry that everyone loves."
"Oh…"
For a minute, Harry had thought he heard Hermione say that she loved him. That would've been a dream come true. Ever since that day on the train when she had held him and hugged him in his time of need, he had found her to be a very warm, loving, caring, attractive woman. It was a sudden change of feelings, from best friend to…would it be a crush? He seemed to old to have crushes…but nevertheless, he felt something for Hermione that he couldn't explain. He hadn't felt like this for anyone before. It kind of scared him, these feelings. It seemed too rushed to him, but he definitely didn't hate the feelings. Not in the slightest.
"So, Harry…just tell me what you're feeling."
So Harry let out his feelings about Sirius's death. The abandonment, the betrayal, the loneliness, and the fear. All of this was new to Hermione, but she encouraged him to continue. It seemed like he had never let these thoughts out, that they had stayed within the safety and comfort of his own mind. It was a good feeling, knowing that he was trusting this information with her. She sighed inside, taking in his looks. His jet-black hair was long and out of control, and his light green eyes sparkling in the dim candlelight.
She was pulled from her thoughts by Harry snapping his fingers in his face and yelling, "'Mione!" She snapped back and said, "Yes, Harry?"
"You were just staring at me, not being particularly responsive. I was just wondering what you were thinking about."
It was out before she could stop herself, "You."
He was taken aback. He said, "Me?"
Hermione gasped, realizing her second blunder, "Well, uh, I was thinking about…uh…what you were…uh…saying…" She realized that she couldn't hide it anymore. She stood up quickly and walked over to him quickly. She stopped in front of him and leaned down, taking a deep breath, watching Harry's confused and curious expression. She took another deep breath, closing her eyes and doing what she had wanted to do for the longest time.
She kissed him.
A/N-Did Harry's feelings for Hermione seem too rushed? I tried to explain that they were rushed, but that was the beauty of it. One simple embrace can change you forever. Isn't that pretty? Haha. Okay, I don't think there's anything else. Thank you to my few reviewers! Please review and tell me what you think!
Love,
DC