Disclaimer: As always I don't own any of Lewis Carroll's works.
Thank you to all my reviewers, Fudge 1 (Sorry, but the picture is in a notebook and my scanner is broken so I can't send to you.), Kill-all-flamers, and Mousewolf.
Also I collect Alice in Wonderland stuff so if anyone knows where get the live-action version of Alice in Wonderland that Hallmark did in 1999, paraphernalia that goes with the Disney movie (sheets, stuffed animals, dolls, books, what ever.) American Mcgee's Alice with all the booklets or any of the action figures that go with the game, please e-mail me or leave a message in a review. Please R and R.
Also I can't help myself with the Alice/ Hatter flirting, If it turns into a full-blown pairing, you'll just have to wait and see. Also a little surprise plot twist.
"I said, WHO are YOU?" the voice demanded, and Alice peered on top of the mushroom. There was a dark purple caterpillar, smoking what looked like a hookah pipe. When Alice looked closer at the pipe, she saw that the part the caterpillar was smoking was what appeared to be a finger bone, the tube some kind of human organ, and the base of it was made of bone as well.
"Oh, don't give that crap today!" Hatter said hoisting himself up to where the caterpillar lay, "you know damn well who I am."
"I know who you are Hatter," the caterpillar said, then pointed at Alice, "But who is she?"
Now Alice was confused, the Hatter had spoken of the insect with such high regard, now he was arguing with it, "My name is Alice," she said, hoping this would stop the fighting between the to Wonderlanders.
"There you know who she is now!" Hatter said, "now stop speaking in riddles, before I lose my temper!"
"Alice?" the caterpillar asked in surprise, "so, you've returned."
"Wrong Alice," she said, "that was my aunt, and I'm afraid she is the reason that Wonderland is like this."
The caterpillar thought this over, "Ah, now I can see the difference," he said, "now what is that you need?"
"We need a way to get rid of the Duchess," Hatter said, "I have a feeling she's on to me, and I rather have her out of the way."
"Why?" the Caterpillar asked, blowing another sick smelling smoke ring into the air.
Hatter sighed, the Caterpillar's question starting to grate on his already unstably nerves, "Because she is hounding me, and I have a feeling that she is going to tell the queen about my double agent work."
"Ummm, you like picking fights with those more powerful then yourself," the caterpillar said, taking a drag on his pipe.
Hatter snarled, "Riddles, more riddles! Not even good ones! I just want to know how to kill her, and if you don't, I'll eat part of this mushroom, then squish you!"
"Don't lose your temper." The Caterpillar said, calmly blowing a smoke ring in Hatter's face.
Alice could tell that her friend was about to carry out his threat when the Caterpillar spoke again,
"To rid your self of the Duchess, I suggest beating her at her own game," the insect said, leaving Alice to ponder this for a moment.
"I got it!" the girl yelled, " like in a story from my world, we'll shove the Duchess in the oven!"
Hatter flashed a devilish grin, "That's prefect Alice!" he shouted with glee, " we'll bake the old hag! Then I'll be free!" As Alice watched her friend slip into his manic mode, the Caterpillar rolled his eyes, and then the Caterpillar muttered something about inhaling too much mercury.
"Thank you so much mister Caterpillar," Alice said, grabbing the Hatter by his collar trying to get him to sit still, " now tell me how to get bigger, please?"
"The mushroom of course," The Caterpillar said, then crawled off his fungus sit. Alice stared down at the mushroom top, 'The Hatter said something about one side making you taller, but which side is it?' with out thinking she pulled a piece of the mushroom, then to a tiny nibble from it, suddenly she found herself rushing towards the sky.
"Oh dear," Alice whispered, once again dizzy from growing back to her regular height, then the Hatter appeared next to her, having recovered his original height as well.
"Not as bad as shrinking," he said, wobbling a little, "now to get that nosey old hag. Alice, also I don't think you need to come, I'll be just fine."
Hatter started to sprint off in the direction that he believed the Duchess lived, leaving little Alice alone in the meadow just outside the forest. "Cheshire," she called, then the cat appeared on her shoulder.
"Yes?" he asked, grinning as usual.
"I think Hatter is in trouble," Alice said, "or at least, he'll be in trouble soon."
" Maybe so," Cheshire purred, as he leapt down to the ground, "if that's the case, we should follow him and see if he's okay."
Then the cat took off through the grass, Alice running to catch up with the feline. She followed Cheshire through the woods. She saw that in this part of the forest the trees were not so menacing, but their limbs were pulled back from the path as if they were afraid of something. She also heard frightened whispers, as she continued on her way.
"Cheshire," Alice asked the cat, "who's whispering?"
"The trees," the cat replied, "their afraid of you now."
"Why?"
The cat smiled fiendishly, "Because you carved so many up during our last walk through the woods."
Alice nodded, remembering how the trees had clawed at her dress, then she hacked off the offending limbs with her knife. Then in the distance she could she gray smoke and fear suddenly shot through her. She ran pass Cheshire at top speed hoping that the smoke was something else, and not the making of the Duchess' threat. When Alice stopped, she saw in front of her an old house with a crooked chimney, and in the window she could she the Duchess and the cook fighting over what appeared to be an unconscious young man laid out on a silver serving platter.
"Hatter!" Alice gasped, panicking. She had to get in and save her friend. Thinking quickly, the girl rushed around to the front door then armed a jack grenade. She watched as the tiny handle spun around slowly, then out popped the clown head spewing fire from its grinning mouth, then the explosion that knocked the door down. Alice slipped inside, trying not be seen as she crept towards the kitchen door. Though she had no idea where she was going she had a good idea where she was by the volume of the yelling. As Alice approached the door she could hear the Duchess and the Cook talking.
"I told you he betrayed the Queen," the Duchess hissed.
"Should have never trusted him." The Cook said.
"Indeed," the Duchess said, laughing, " hopefully all that mercury he has ingested over the years isn't still in his system."
"Don't wanna end up as mad as he is!"
"To bad we already are!"
Alice heard both hags laugh, causing the hair on her neck to stand on end. Hatter was in trouble, and needed her help. With out thinking she opened the kitchen door, the noise causing the two hags to turn and look at her. Each snarling like a hungry wolf, circling the girl. Then suddenly there was a smashing sound, causing the Duchess and the Cook to whirl around. The Mad Hatter sat on the table, smirking and a teapot resting in his hand. On the ground there was green ooze that started to eat away at the wooden floor. His smirk never faded as he tossed the teapot in the Cook's face. The ooze started to eat away at her skin, and Alice could see scales and feathers sticking out of the open sores.
The Duchess stood there stunned as the creature that was once the Cook started after Alice, who had already drawn out the deck of cards. The just as the beast was to slash at her with wicked talons that had sprouted from its hand, Alice threw a hand at the creature, cutting away more of the fake flesh. The creature cook slashed at Hatter sending him toppling off the table but he recovered quickly, as he armed him self again. Alice continued to slash at the beast with card and knife, stripping more of the rubbery flesh away. Hatter twisting around from his landing flung his hat at the creature, cutting a deep gash into its flank. It hissed with anger as turned on him again, a giant blood stained muzzle sprouting from the once human face, jaws agape, the Hatter smashed with a quick kick in the nose, giving him enough time to slip away.
Soon, all that was left of the cook was a horrible beast, with a sharp beak filled with large dagger like teeth, large talons and a body that resembled a cross between a snake and a bird of prey. It swiveled its head around its eyes glowing red with anger as dove at Alice; Hatter flung a domino at the girl wrapping her in a temporary ivory sheild. Alice took this as a chance to arm a jack grenade and throw it at the monster. It stared at the toy for a moment, then pawed it at the strange object. Then out popped the clown head spewing the flames into the creature's eyes blinding it. The creature started to move around the room confused, as Alice ran behind it careful not to trip or be smashed by its tail, as she opened the oven. Then as quickly as she could, Alice ran back to Hatter, then both gave a mighty shoved and pushed the beast in the oven, then turn on. Soon as the oven clicked on, a foul smell filled the air, causing Alice and Hatter grabbed the Duchess then ran outside to escape the unbreathable air.
"What was that?" Alice asked, once they had entered the woods, the Duchess still in tow.
"Jaberspawn," The Mad Hatter said, sitting on the ground, " basically they're babies produced by the Jabberwocky."
"Okay, one questioned answered," Alice said, then jerked a thumb at the Duchess, "why did we save her?"
"Because he is my son."
Alice looked around to see that it was that had uttered those bizarre word then saw that it was the Duchess had finally spoken, "Your son?" Alice repeated, looking between the handsome Hatter (a/n Ohhh plot hint!) and the ugly Duchess, "How is this possible? I thought your child turned into a pig!"
"That was just one of my legitimate sons, by my husband the Duke" the Duchess said, "Hatter's father was a garden for the queen of Hearts, a handsome spade. For some reason he never changed into a pig, maybe because of his father"
Alice sat for a moment thinking this over for a moment, after all this was a confusing development. "Then why did you want to eat him?" she asked, trying to figure out this puzzle. None of this made any sense to her.
"Well, the Jaberspawn was controlling her," Hatter said, "I had no idea either until I was captured, and the cook started talking."
"Yes, the queen also thought the Jaberspawn had complete control of me," the Duchess said, "So she intrusted me to some of her plans."
"Like what?" Alice asked.
" She's planning to over run the looking glass world as well as this one," the Duchess said, starting to walk towards her home, Alice and Hatter followed eager to gain more information, at least some that was going to be of some use.
"That's old news now," Hatter said bitterly, "the red pieces have sided with the queen and she has built quite a lovely dungeon there."
"What of the white pieces?" both Alice and the Duchess asked.
"Holding the red pieces off as best they can." Hatter replied, "but when I was there, they weren't doing so well."
As the Duchess and the Hatter talked, Alice drifted couldn't believe this, everything in her aunt's books had been true, almost every word had been true. Almost all the details correct, or maybe they had changed over the years. 'I don't believe this,' Alice thought, not really paying ant attention to the path, as she followed Hatter, 'Perhaps I am going mad myself, or this is all a dream, yes this is all a dream!' Alice pinched her arm, having heard this was a quick way of telling if you are dreaming or not, only to receive a painful red mark in return.
"So I'm not dreaming," Alice said, out loud causing the Hatter to stare at her for a moment.
"Are you alright?" he asked, slowing down a bit so she could catch up with him, as he followed the Duchess back to her home.
"Yes, I'm fine." Alice said, "Where is your mother taking us?"
"Back to her house," Hatter said, "apparently, she has something that can help us."
When they arrived outside of the Duchess' home, she told Hatter and Alice to wait outside for a moment. Then she returned with a tall object cover with a sheet.
"What is it?" Alice asked, stepping forward just as the Duchess pulled off the sheet. Hatter's eyes grew wide with shook as he saw what it was.
"The Broken Looking Glass." He murmured, touching the shattered glass. He couldn't believe the portal to the queen's dungeon. That is if you didn't go slowly insane from the horrors of the Jabberwocky's domain. Then the Mad Hatter looked at his mother, pulling his hand away from the mirror, "How did you get this?"
"The Queen of Hearts gave to the Jaberspawn to guard, in hopes of keeping out of your hands," the Duchess said, as Alice touched the glass. The girl thought she saw appearing in the shattered glass. The image became clearer and clearer. When it was finally whole, Alice couldn't believe her eyes. Her reflection had changed into another girl with long black hair, blank gray eyes and was wearing a red dress and a blood stained apron. Next to her was what Alice though was the Hatter, but his reflection too was different, the mirror Hatter had black hair as well, with blood shot eyes, his cloths too had changed. His shirt was red, his vest was now adorned with the different card suits, and instead of the 10/6 tag on his hat was a card with the spade symbol on it.
Suddenly the mirror Alice reached out and started to pull at Alice's hand, into the dark mirror world on the other side. Alice screamed in terror as she slipped into the glass. Hatter spun around after hearing her, only to see her shoes slip through to the other side of the cracked glass.