A/N: Let's see what's up with Naruto. We haven't focused on his obnoxious blondeness yet… How much kuso (japanese for shit, in case any of you ever want to insult someone in anime language) is he gonna get in now? Let's find out, shall we? Woohoo! Onto chappie nine!…

00000

Naruto had been so determined to catch Sasuke, he hadn't noticed where he was going. He found himself standing at the base of a narrow stairwell. Curious and having nothing better to do, he decided to check it out.

I wonder how come I never noticed this place before... At the top, a long hallway reached out to him. "Cool! This must be where all the older guys stay! And everyone of them are gone!"

Naruto took in the room he had chosen randomly. It was fairly clean. The bed was neatly made, the dresser wasn't in shambles, weapons neatly lined a desk and the floor was free of dirty clothes.

Being in the very carefree mood, he decided to take a closer look. "Who's room is..."

He picked up a photo of Ten Ten and smirked. "Neji."

Intrigued by the belongings of others, Naruto continued checking out each room, almost like touring a house for sale.

The older ninja must have all left for the break. Who's is this? He came to a door with a "Stay Out" sign on it. Unable to resist and not bothering to take the warning to heart, he opened the screen.

Instantly, needles flew out at him. "ACK!" Before he was punctured, he jumped aside.

As soon as the trap ceased Naruto entered.

Amputated wooden hands and arms littered the floor. Actually, the room wasn't too bad, if you ignored the puppet parts. No doubt this is Kankuro's room. I didn't know he left. I wish he took his freaky brother along...Ooo! A FOOT!

000

As soon as Naruto had looked at each room, he leaned against the wall lost in thought. I could stay here for the remainder of the time. No project. No teachers. But if I get caught, I'm done for. Hn. Tough choice... but I have taken a liking to Neji's room. It's way better than Lee's! Hahahaha!

The setting sun revealed how late it was getting. Finally making up his mind, Naruto ran back to his room and gathered up his belongings.

00000

"Now get in there!" Sasuke was thrown into an almost bare room. With the exception of the wooden floors and screens, it almost seemed like a prison.

"Hm. So they did catch you afterall." Sasuke turned to see Gaara sitting on one of the cots.

Not him. He's the one that got me into this! I'll die if I have to stay with Gaara.

"Speak for yourself." Gaara smiled at Sasuke's comeback and shrugged. "I actually let them catch me..." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Sure you did."

"I did. Kill two birds with one stone. They get to be proud of themselves and I... Well, you can cause more trouble in here than out there. The people that watch us, they're all paranoid. If we even bend a rule, they get all nervous. I'll be out of here in no time."

Sasuke tried not to make conversation. "You're lying. How can you get out?"

"I've been in here at least six times this year. Each I've gotten out early...for good behavior." He laughed at himself and pulled out a lighter. "Watch."

Sasuke turned away, but watched out of the corner of his eye. Gaara held it to the wooden frame. The screen quickly caught fire. The flames licked the wood and traveled swiftly to the top.

Within a few moments, the jonin had come in. Gaara laid down on the bed.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!"

Shrugg.

"Get Uchiha out of here!"

A chunin pulled Sasuke out of the room and tossed him into the hall. "You can go Sasuke."

Shocked (but not surprised) that Gaara had set the room on fire in his escape attempt, Sasuke walked silently to his dorm.

While everyone was busy extinguishing the flames, Gaara slipped out.

00000

"Hahaha! Neji you have one awesome room!" Naruto had thrown his clothes all over the place and had hung posters on the wall (one of a bowl of ramen).

Making himself completely at home, Naruto settled in for the night... rather, for the rest of the week.

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Lee ran down the hall early the next morning in a dark green bathrobe and fuzzy pink slippers.

He traveled from dorm room to dorm room, searching for his long lost roommate.

"Have you seen Naruto?"

"Go away Lee!"

"Ah! Hear that! It's Lee! Lock the door!"

"Good morning. Have you..."

Slam!

"Hmph! Well fine! Be that way!" He pouted and sat in the middle of the hallway. "Naruto, where did you go!" Suddenly, the buzzing of numerous alarm clocks filled the floor.

Hmm. Must be nine o'clock... Uh-oh! Instinctively, Lee covered his head with his hands (this had happened on more than just one occasion), as boys stampeded out of the rooms.

He stood and brushed himself off as the last one past. "Haha! That wasn't so bad! Now, where to look next?"

0000

In Neji's room, Naruto attempted to get up. "Yawn. What time is it?" He reached over to the dresser and looked for the alarm clock, knocking down the picture of Ten Ten in the process.

When his hand finally found the electronic, he took hold of it and moved it close to his face.

"How can he read this? The numbers are all blurry!" He grumbled and threw it carelessly to the floor. "Oh well. It's not my fault I don't know what the time is... Good enough excuse for sleeping in!"

0000

Lee had been standing in the middle of the hallway for a good time now, contimplating his next move.

I know! I'll ask Sasuke and Gaara next! Hehehe... That'll give me a chance to see what they wear to bed!

With his plan thought through, Lee skipped off to put it in action.

Not too far down the hall, however, Lee was stopped by his sensei.

"Gai sensei!"

"Hey there Lee. What are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be working on your room?"

"No... We're all finished!"

"Hn. That makes everyone. Good work Lee! That's my boy!"

Lee smiled proudly.

"Oh, by the way... were you just skipping?" He blushed, "Maybeeee."

Gai crossed his arms. "Real ninjas don't skip."

"Ah. Sorry! How about... bounding with glee?"

"No."

"Not even frolicking!" Gai thought for a moment.

"Frolicking is okay. Just don't let anyone catch you!" "Thank you Gai sensei!"

Lee turned and skipped...er... frolicked away.

0000

Sasuke picked his head up from his pillow and glared at the door after being awokened by a knock. It seems that Naruto wasn't the only one sleeping in.

Again! Why does he keep coming! Doesn't he have anyone else to bother? Why do I have to be the "lucky one"?

"Oh Sasukeee!"

Wait...that sounded like Lee! Kuso! He'd better not come in. Why did all the deranged have to stay!

He remained silent, looking at the door menacingly.

After five minutes of heart pounding anxiety, Lee finally left.

Ha! Now back to sleep...

0000

"Darn it! There's got to be another way in! Hmmmm... I know!"

After another run down the hall, Lee barged into the teacher's lounge.

"GAI SENSEI!"

"HEY! What are you doing in here? This room is strictly off limits to..."

"It's...sniff...alright Asuma. I'm sure...sob...Lee... sniffle...has a good reason!" Sarutobi Asuma rolled his eyes at the sobbing teacher. Lee stuck his tongue out at the smoker.

"I locked myself out of my room. Can you unlock it for m..."

"Shhhh! Lee! There's something... sniff... you should learn."

"What is it?" He asked intently.

"Don't... weep... come between a man.... sob... and his soap operas!" Lee looked at him curiously and turned his attention to the screen.

"Don't think of it as losing your sons, Kanbutsuya..."

"Haha! Wait. Her name means 'grocery store'!" Asuma laughed so hard his cigarette fell.

"No! His name means grocery store... And this was originally American. It was just an error caused during the translation process!"

"...Think of it as losing... your life!" After a long, droning explanation of what she meant, the lady on the screen brought a knife from behind her back and stabbed the man in the hospital bed. Fake blood squirted out, and Gai burst into further tears.

"That made no sense whatsoever..."

"Asuma! Do not judge the opera! They just explained the whole storyline! How... can...you... not!"

"Curse you Ichi!" And the man died slowly...very slowly. So slowly, that the show jumped into another side story instead of showing him die completely.

"So her name means 'market'? Hahahaha! Kind of gives a mixed message, don't it!"

"Shut up Asuma! I don't expect you to be able to comprehend material this deep."

"Ahh...Gai sensei? Can I have the...?"

"Quiet! Kagan is realizing that his long lost brother is also his long lost wife's long lost husband and his long lost step son's father's cousin!"

"I don't understand what you mean, Kagan..."

"Neither does Asuma..." Gai chuckled.

"Excuse me? Just because I don't have any interest in what 'fish market' is saying..." Asuma lit another cigarette.

"TRANSLATION ERROR!"

"Uhh... Gai? Can I have that key now?"

"Yes, YES! Just GO!" He threw the key at his favorite student, keeping his eyes glued to the tv screen.

Lee ran out, victorious!

0000

He found himself in front of Sasuke's room, again. But this time, he was prepared to enter.

Sticking the key into the lock, he turned it excitedly.

"Huh? Who's there?" Sasuke rubbed his onyx eyes slowly.

Lee ran over to the bed and jumped on it. "It's me sleepy head!"

"Ack!" Sasuke screeched and pulled the covers all the way to his chin. "How...How'd you get in here! I lock my door because of freaks like you!"

"Ahahahahaha! With this!" He flaunted the key, not noticing the insult.

"I see..." He whipped a kunai from somewhere under the mattress. "Now out! I keep this here, also, for freaks like you!" Before Lee could get up, Sasuke brought down the knife, tearing threw the terry cloth robe.

"Hey! This was my favorite!"

"Really? Too bad! Now get away!" Before he got up, Lee pulled the covers down to see what Sasuke was wearing.

"Aha! You're a boxer kind of guy!" He admired the black boxers before him.

Sasuke swung the weapon a second time, this time Lee dodged and ran out, screaming like a girl.

"Hm. That was easy...Perv." Sasuke got up lazily and closed his door. Making a mental note to himself to put a third lock on when he got the chance to put a second on.

0000

Phew! I almost got stuck! Poor Sasuke, someone's cranky! Hehehe. I'll give him time to cool down... Now then. Where to next? Oh yeah! Gaara!

He knocked on the dorm door, surprised (and jealous) to see Choji answer it.

"What're you doing here!"

"I live here... What do you want?" Choji bit into what looked like licorice.

Lee placed his hands on his hips. "I want to speak to Gaara!"

"Hm. Does he want to speak to you?"

"No I don't." Came a call from the bedroom.

"Haha! What a jokester! Of course you do!" Lee began to walk in, but was blocked by Choji.

"Excuse me, but I need to go in to talk to him."

"You can't even if he wanted you to. He got into trouble the other..." Lee pushed his way in before Choji could finish.

Gaara looked into his mirror and saw Lee leaning against the frame of the screen. Hurriedly throwing on a t-shirt, Gaara snapped out. "I told you I don't want you here."

"I know... but I need some information."

"Information?" Gaara didn't sound as enthusiastic as Lee had hoped.

"Yeah. I heard you were being a bad boy, Gaara." He took a few steps in. "Hm...Which bed is yours?"

Gaara glared. Doesn't he know I'm hardly ever in here? What a kusotare. "You needed information? What's in it for me if I give you it?"

Although he was not sure what Lee wanted to know, he wanted to make sure there was something in it for him. So even if he had to lie, he'd get something for Lee's intrusion.

Lee thought for a moment, "My heart..."

"Not the answer I was looking for."

Choji grinned from over the bag of chips he was holding. Lee was clutching his stomach.

"Shoulda listened, but nooo."

"Uhhh...Hush up you." He stumbled out into the hall.

Now what to do? Oh yes! Naruto! Even though my other two loves seem to be having emotional trouble, he'll be okay! He's such a man! Nothing like that ever gets to him...

0000

"Wake up adeyaka..." Naruto opened his eyes. "Huh? Who's there? Yawn. Show yourself..."

"Aww... You're tired. Here, lay back down. I'll protect you." The person whispered soothingly.

That sounded close. Real close. Naruto remained alert and looked around. Where is he?

"Down here sweetheart." Naruto slowly brought his eyes down to the bed and saw Lee grinning up at him from beneath the covers.

"ACK!" He jolted backwards with alarm and fell off the bed. Jumping back up, he pointed a finger towards Lee.

"What...What are you doing here! How did you find me!"

"Love led me to you silly!" Lee crawled to the edge of the bed.

"Love? You're real creepy, you know that!"

Lee just laughed and moved closer.

"No! Back, back! Get away from me! Shouldn't you like... you know... girls?"

"Not necessarily. I much rather prefer you..."

He sat up and reached out, moving his hand down Naruto's chest. Naruto shook him off and ran to the other corner, jumping upon the dresser and breaking even more of Neji's belongings.

"AH! GAY GUY IN MY BEDDD!"

With that as his final statement, Naruto flung himself off the piece of furniture and bolted out the door.

"Wait Naruto! Come back!" Lee, not about to give up that easily, pursued him. In the process, giving him a taste of his own medicine.

0000

A/N: Big one-o ahead…. Dun-dun-Dun-dun-DUNNN….what's the conclusion of these three (for me one…maybe two…nope. One.) hearthrobs? Four if you include Lee. : P