Author Notes: Once again please review! I realized I forgot a disclaimer so here it is.
DISCLAIMER:I do not own any of the following: Wizards Chess, Seamus Finnegan, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Hogwarts, or anything else remotely Potter-Esque. JK Rolling owns every bit of it!
Arithmancy Notes
Hermione opened her eyes. She brushed her hands against her face, which was bathed in moonlight coming in from a gap in her bed hangings. Ginny had tried to wash her face, but Hermione could still feel the sticky film where the tears had poured down her cheeks. This made her think of crying which in turn made her think of Him. She quickly set her hands down on her stomach. Hermione sat up, leaning against the headboard. She peered through the gap that the moonlight shone through. Through this gap she could see Pavarti sound asleep. Hermione crept over her covers and out through the gap. Their dormitory was spotless; Ginny had made sure of that.
Ginny had sat by Hermione while she cried. Her arms wrapped around Hermione as she shook. Hermione had slowly calmed enough to lie stil and sleep, only single tears making long journeys down her face and neck. Ginny had left then and fetched Lavender and Pavarti away from their giggling in the common room. Ginny with her fierce command and loyalty to Hermione had made the girls clean the room. They made such a ruckus at first that Hermione woke, she didn't cry, she had done enough of that, but just listened. There were sounds of rustling papers, spells being performed, drawers being opened and shut, and whispered inquirers, those Ginny hushed quickly. Hermione could remember only the beginnings of their questions because Ginny was quick to quiet them, as if she knew Hermione might be awake. But still their words rang in her head like ever-present bells, almost as much as His words.
Is she going to-?
Do you think they are-?
Did she talk about-?
Was she really-?
Will she…
Will I what? Hermione almost wanted to ask. Will I ever forgive him? Will I be all right? Will I get over it? Will I die of shame? Hermione couldn't answer those questions, she, herself didn't even know the answers.
Hermione walked passed by the sleeping girls to the window and looked out across the grounds. She looked at the sky, dark as night could be, except for the strong light of the moon. It was that deep time of night, where nothing stirred and no one moved, where even the wind was still and no owls hooted. Her head throbbed from crying and she felt empty, hollow inside, as if there was nothing left of her to give. Her emotions were jostling for position in her head. They had been all the time since the fight with Him.
First it was anger. The memories flashed before her: shoving the table over, storming up the stairs, ripping apart her diary as if it were some evil being. Her anger flamed up from somewhere deep inside her, and it heated her with fiery strength. With magic and sheer desire she destroyed every piece of herself that somehow was tied to Him. The tears cried then were fast and hot, dancing across her face and onto the floor, her clothes, or His letters.
Then came the sadness. It snuck up on her like something from the shadows and somehow suddenly over-whelmed her. She was stricken as if everything had suddenly come down on her at once. By the time she hit her bed she was sobbing, tears carousing down her cheeks and soaking all around her. All of her strength was gone. It was as if something had snapped in her, and she could not push it away. She was alone. Even when Ginny was by her side, it was only her, her and His ghost.
Now the anger was still there, just subdued with time, the sadness was certainly there too, it was now all around her, not so concentrated, but there was a new emotion in her. She felt shame, and embarrassment. Her heart told her she had a right to cry, to scream, to wreck things; but her head, her cold, strait-forward, logical head, told her she should not be this way.
'Its not the first fight you've had.'
'It was the worst.'
'You said rude things as well.'
'I didn't mean them.'
'Did he?'
'His eyes were so raw with emotion that he must have.'
'What emotion'
'Does it matter?'
'Did you have to react that way? The crying, wrecking, sadness?'
'Yes… It was him.'
In endless loops her mind battled, but she knew it didn't matter in the end. It didn't change the fact that she still couldn't bring herself to say his name. Looking up at the moon a few more tears escaped her eyes. Suddenly Hermione turned away and walked to her desk. Ginny had neatened her things as best she could. Hermione, her back to the window, resolved to end the shame, the anger and the sadness she couldn't do anything about, but she could keep herself from being embarrassed by Him. She slowly sat down, and took one last fleeting glance at the moonlight shining down on the grounds. Turning back to the desk, she lit a candle. With determination she searched through her books until she found her Arithmancy notes and began studying.
There were no longer tears in her eyes; but the pain remained.
In another dormitory a boy lay awake, the same moonlight that had shone on her face, shone on him. With one glistening stream tracing a line down his face, he knew his tears were just beginning.
A/N: Sorry that was so short! The next one will be longer and not as sad hopefully! Please Review! I know they both seem a little over-emotional, but their hearts are breaking! Thanks for reading.
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