Chapter # 22: Here Without You

Diclaimer: I do not own the characters of Gravitation…:'( That's sooo sad lolz. And, I do not own the lyrics to this song. (the song is in italics) It's called "Here Without You" and it's owner is "3 Doors Down." I love that band and especially this song, because it's soo sad:'( Ok, hope you enjoy this Chapter. I realize it says "girl" in the song, but…oh well. Sorry again about the last Chapter I did…GOMEN NASAI! freaks out like Ritsu Sohma of Fruits Basket (I don't own Furuba either ) :'( I'm so sad now. :P

Shuichi never left my mind. Ever. I was walking down the street, my head bowed as I faught off the urge to cry again. All I wanted to do was brake down, and cry. I hadn't cut myself once in the past two months that I hadn't spoken to Shuichi. I was paler now, I never went outside. Today though, my Uncle was dragging me outside. He wouldn't let me rot in the house. He walked to my left, talking to one of his friends from work. I wasn't paying any attention to what he was talking about. I didn't really care. I wasn't part of his conversation. I didn't really want to be either.

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

I sighed and thought about how I had acted when Shuichi called me a liar. I had really meant the apology. I didn't want him to think I was lying. It hurt me to think about Shuichi hating me. So much had happened between us. When I thought about it, a lot really took place within the time I had just barely gotten to know him. I had comforted him when his father had left him and his family. I promised I would propose to him one day, and I kissed him. I let him know my secret. I let him into my life. Yet…I had been deceiving him. I had lied to him. So…I didn't blame him if he hated me now. But still…

A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same

But still…It hurt so much to know that he might never forgive me. He might never talk to me again in his life. He might hate me for the rest of his life.

'No!' My mind screamed at me.

'Shuichi isn't that kind of guy! He'll forgive you…'

Maybe that was just my wishful thinking kicking in again. I had a lot of wishful thinking going on right now. Mainly that Shuichi would forgive me, I mean, it had already been two months. I couldn't believe it. Why wouldn't he forgive me? I hadn't used the blade in that whole amount of time. That was a real shock in my eyes. I would have thought that I would have cut myself more if I lost Shuichi.

All the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face

My physical wounds were slowly starting to heal up. Maybe Shuichi had taught me a lesson. He taught me what I was doing wasn't going to help me. He was, going to help me as much as he could though. I didn't think he was helping me much. But…He was. He was slowly healing me. I just…Wasn't letting myself heal. I was to blame for all of this. It was all my fault he hated me so much now. That wasn't encouraging me in any way.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind

"Doesn't that sound like a good idea Tohma?"

My Uncle paused seeing my expression, my eyes remained downcast.

"Tohma?"

I snapped back into reality and looked at him,

"Yes?"

"Are you alright?"

"…Yeah, I'm alright."

"We were gonna take you down to the karoke bar, you can listen to some singers, maybe that's all you need…?"

"Alright…"

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby

We went into a building that looked rather tiny on the outside. We stepped in through the doorway and headed down the stairs. Once we were in the bigger room, we sat down at one of the many tables. I stared at the table. My thoughts were daring me to return to them. I didn't know if I should take their dare or not. It seemed rather tempting. I looked at my Uncle.

"So Tohma, what do you think? Want a drink of anything?"

"I guess I'll take a pepsi." I mumbled.

"That doesn't surprise me much, you two have the same taste."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind me," he said with a wave of his hand, he faced his friend and asked what he was getting. They had a short discussion about the drink. I drowned them out. I listened to the singer.

But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there's only you and me.

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say 'hello'
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go.

Why did this person have to sing such a sad song? They had an amazing voice on them though. Very strong and it held the lyrics well. I was impressed. A waitress came by to take our order on our drinks. My Uncle ordered two pepsi's, two coka-cola's, and two other drinks that obviously held some kind of alcohol in them. Though, I can't remember what the drink was called.

"Why are you ordering so many drinks?" I questioned when the waitress disappeared.

Oh yeah, yeah

"Well, Suguru and Hiro are coming here soon so I figured I'd get them each a coka-cola…" He said as if the question shouldn't matter much at all. I simply stared at him, recalling something he had said.

"That doesn't surprise me much, you two have the same taste."

Then I thought about the order he had place. Two of everything. Two.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me.

Where ever there was Suguru and Hiro there was always…No way, it couldn't be.

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done.
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

I stared at my Uncle in utter disbelief. He hadn't brought me here to clear my mind.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

He'd brought me here to see…

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me

…Shuichi.

As if in cue, the song had ended. An announcer stated the name of the song, and who had sung it, but I didn't even listen. Why should I even bother to? I knew it was sung by 'Bad Luck.' I stared at the table as my Uncle said they were coming. I really didn't want Shuichi to see me. He was probably still ticked off. My Uncle called out to them and waved them over from a distance. I pulled out one of my many sketch books and a pencil and started drawing what ever came into my mind. It turned out that I was drawing a figure I remembered by heart. I didn't need a picture to look off of. It looked good. My artwork always turned out like this. My Uncle told me that a lot since I had started to stay with him. He said I was a natural artist. I could see why he said that. My hands were quick, swift and I somehow never smeared the picture. I put down my pencil and studied the picture.

I heard chairs moving, but the one next to me didn't move. Instead, a shadow fell over my picture. I bit into my bottom lip slightly. The person didn't speak. Two arms slunk their way around my neck and dangled over my chest. The person pressed their forehead to the back of my head. He spoke.

"…You didn't lie."

"Of course not…Why would I lie…To you?" My voice was weak and cracking. He released me and held out his hand to me. I took it and stood up, He wrapped his arms around me tightly and I pressed my forehead to his shoulder, cries starting to escape me. I fell to my knees and he crouched before me, holding me.

"Don't cry…Don't cry Tohma…"

"I…I gave it all up! I stopped…!" I cried, I could feel myself sobbing into him. He caressed my cheek,

"I'm…Glad." I cried into him, and he gladly held me,

"Shu-chan…God I missed being with you Shu-chan…"

"You won't have to be away from me anymore…" He cooed. We stood up, I hugged him to me as closely as I could, as tightly as possible, without hurting him.

"I love you Shu-chan…"

"I love you too, Tohma." He replied as he leaned up and pressed his lips to mine. I could feel the longing in his kiss and gladly returned it. I would never be away from him again. I told myself. Never.