YAY for another chapter! This one starts off a bit more serious than the others, but gets rather funny at the end. I've started getting things in motion here, so get ready!

I don't own FF VII or any of her characters. Nor do I own Barney or the Tele-tubbies. (Try to figure out why they are in this story at all...) One question in here is from a game called Zobmondo, which is FUN and HILARIOUS and you should buy it and try it with your friends. It had me in stitches when I read it.

Nearly a week had passed, and Reeve was still unable to learn what was weighing down Yuffie's spirit and heart. Several times, she had seemed on the brink of saying something, something important, but she never did. Every time he thought she was opening up, Yuffie would close herself off again. It was frustrating to say the least.

Reeve was sitting on the back porch of Yuffie's house. Yuffie had gone to bed, at a most un-Yuffie like hour of eleven. He sighed heavily, attempting to clear his mind of unwelcome thoughts. He had spent years getting them to quietly sit in a corner of his mind and now they were once again fighting for a space in front.

...RING!...

"Hmm? Who would be calling me at this hour..." He smiled at the number he found blinking at him from his phone. He waited until it was the last ring before it went to his voice mail to answer. It was a habit that infuriated his friends, which was the precise reason he did it. "Hello, Vincent. To what do I owe the pleasure of conversation with you?"

'How is Yuffie?'

"Honestly, I don't know. I don't even know if I'm coming or going with her. It's like she's locked herself up and let this cardboard cut-out take her place. She does crack a joke with me, or tease me once in a while, but..."

'I see.'

"Do you? In all seriousness, I'm worried. I think she wants to tell me, but she can't quite make herself do it. It's like she's using whatever broke her as a shield so she won't have to deal with it."

'Would you say it was what bothered her before?'

"Yes. Definitely. I'd like to take whatever young fool that ignored her and make him do squat-jumps for a mile every day. Among other things."

'Reeve, consider something.'

"I always consider things. But go ahead."

'Would it not be ironic if that 'young fool' turned out to be you?'

"Me? How have I ignored Yuffie?"

'Yuffie adores you. Yet you never return the affection the way she wished you would.'

"I never returned her affection? Are you blind as well as forgetful in your old age? You know damn well..." Reeve paused to run a hand through his hair. "That I love that girl to pieces. She's the one who never returned affection. Not me."

'You were not as forward as you could have been, Reeve."

"I taught her to dance, and subsequently take her dancing at every opportunity. I take her to dinner, to amusement parks. I even hold her hair back when she throws up from the roller coasters. I walked around a shopping mall wearing a chocobo feathered hat for no other reason than because she wanted me to. I go and get a burger and milkshake at three in the morning when I have to be at work by seven. I flirt with her at every opportunity. How is this not forward? Most women get the hint by the fourth time you hold their hair back while losing the the contents of their stomach." He began searching his pockets, getting aggravated at the lack of success he was having in his search.

'I thought you quite smoking.'

"I did. It's a habit you fall back into when stressed. Sort of like you cross-dressing. Damn, it!"

'I do not cross-dress.'

"Shame, really. You would make a wonderful woman with those eyelashes of yours." Reeve gave up his search and sighed once again.

'I shall ignore that comment. Back to the point. You are notorious for your teasing and tricks. What reason would Yuffie possibly have to think you were being serious?'

"..."

'Do you understand now?'

"You're forgetting that she's never shown an ounce of interest."

'If I understood her reasoning, we would not be having this conversation. For all her strength, Yuffie is very fragile. She is also young. The young protect themselves with their fears.'

"Vincent," Reeve began rubbing his temples with one hand. "I've come to terms with the fact that Yuffie does not return my feelings for her. I don't appreciate you trying to get my hopes up."

'I am the last person to give advice when it comes to love, Reeve, but all I asked you to do was consider it.'

"Fine."

'Very well. Have a good evening.'

"You too. Don't get staked through the heart or anything."

...click.

Reeve remained silent after putting his phone away, his hands absentmindedly searching for an imaginary pack of cigarettes. It was several minutes before he realized that Yuffie was sitting beside him, rubbing her eyes sleepily. He jumped a full two feet in the air without the use of his legs when he saw her. Yuffie just blinked at him, then turned her eyes to the moon-lit garden.

"You didn't start smoking again, did you?"

"What? No. Just a habit of looking for a pack."

"Tell me something."

"You have to tell me what you want to know before I know to tell you what you want to know." Once again, he could hear her eyes rolling. It made him chuckle.

"Which would you choose: great sex or great food?"

"Now, that question is unfair! How could anyone choose between them?"

"Pick one."

"Great food. I would rather deal with no great sex than be eternally craving great food." He heard a soft laugh from her. "My turn. Let's see...would you rather immerse yourself naked in a tub full of live roaches, or one with chewing tobacco spit that is three days old?"

"Oh GAWD! That's disgusting..." Yuffie's dramatic shudder nearly set him to laughing. "The roaches. At least no one already chewed them...I hate slobber..." She shuddered again. "Would you rather kill Barney or the Tele-tubbies?"

"I can't kill them both?"

"Nope." He spent several minutes deliberating before answering. "The Tele-tubbies. There are more of them. Hmm...would you rather get a bikini waxing done everyday, or never at all?"

"No brainer. Every day. Nothing's worse than excess body hair. I mean, you've seen enough porn to know that. Here's a good one. When was the last time you had a wet dream?"

"Ask something a little more embarrassing, why don't you?" Reeve gave her a smile while shaking his head. Yuffie had on her poker face, so there was no telling what she was thinking. "A year and a half ago. First time since I was fourteen."

"Really?" He nodded, transferring his gaze from her face to the garden. "What was it about that you had one for the first time in so long?"

"...I'm not sure I should tell you."

"I shouldn't have asked. Sorry."

"It was you. In that nurse outfit. The same day you wore it, actually."

"That's not funny, Reeve."

"Which is precisely the reason why I'm not laughing. Why do you seem surprised? I've always found you to be attractive." Vincent did say I should have been more straight forward. Hoo, boy. "More than attractive, really. But you never seemed to show any interest in me that way, so I let it be."

"Reeve...I..."

"It's quite alright, Yuffie. I'm resigned to the fact that you don't-" He was silenced by Yuffie linking her arm through his, and her head on his shoulder. Reeve blinked at her hair for several moments before the thought process came back into effect.

"Why...wouldn't I find you attractive? You're a great man. You can dance and take me nice places, and you play with me..." He did his best not to laugh out loud at her words. "Let me rephrase that. You have fun with me." This time two laughs came out. "That still sounds bad..."

"I'm glad you realize that."

"Abrupt change of subject. Was it a good dream? The one about me?"

"Wonderful. It kind of had to be, didn't it?"

It started out with a simple 'heh', then gradually turned into snickers, then laughs and finally guffaws. They were both laughing so hard tears streamed down their faces. They laughed so hard it caused pain.

"I'm...sorry. I shouldn't laugh...snicker..."

"It's alright." Yuffie had collapsed against him, her head sliding down from his shoulder to his chest. She made no move to change position, so Reeve said nothing about it. "I'm just glad to hear you laugh like that again."

"I haven't been around you to laugh like that." She said, wiping tears from her eyes. "I really did miss you."

"Then why did you break contact with me like that? I would have come here to you if you wanted me here."

"I thought...I could get what I wanted by changing who I was."

"How so?"

"You heard what Cid said. They still think of me as a sixteen year old klepto. Never mind that I haven't stolen anyone's materia in years, or that I'm twenty. It's so irritating to be seen as someone I'm not anymore."

"Yes. I can understand that. They see me as nothing but a trickster."

"Their loss."

"Exactly. But I have one more question. You wouldn't happen to still have that nurse outfit, would you? I'd love to see you in it again."

"If I had on socks, I'd stuff one in your mouth."

"A gag? I didn't know you were so into bondage, Yuffie..."

FLUFF-ish! Oh I can't wait for FLUFF with Yuffie and Reeve! XD Did you love it? Like it? Were you very 'meh' about it? Did you make the universal revolting expression at the roach/spit question? So disgusting...

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