This one's a little longer than the rest, but funny and fluffy. There is a lot more adult humor and situations in this chapter, and will be from here on out. You have been warned. It's not like I write pure smut or anything. I could. I should do that, just for kicks. Heh. Hope you like it! Oh, and I've had this ready for over a week, but the site wouldn't upload it for some reason. meh. Anywho, it's working now and you get to read a chapter full of funness and joy! And sex and bacon. hehe.

I don't own FF VII or any of her characters. I just use them.

Reeve woke up rather abruptly. The reason for this was a pillow repeatedly hitting him in the face, forcing him to wake up and deal with whatever situation was causing this distress. His eyes, bleary as there were with sleep, caught an image of gray eyes and black hair before he was blinded by a pillow. Reeve grabbed the pillow before it could be swept away for another attack, throwing it across the room. The only problem with this course of action was that his enemy had another pillow for backup.

There was only one thing to do in the situation: actually get out of bed and deal with his assailant before he was pummeled to death with a down pillow. He grabbed the second pillow, and made a half leap toward his opponent. Reeve managed to get a firm hold on a body and pulled it back into bed with him,struggling one handed with the blankets as the body squirmed in an effort to escape.

"Yuffie, dear, being beaten to death by a pillow is simply not a manly way to die. If you wish for my demise, as you clearly do, you could at least use a shovel."

"Harumph! Who said I wanted you to die a manly death?"

"A good point. Now, if you would kindly stop squirming around, I might be able to get back to sleep."

"HEY, HEY, HEY! I went through a lot of trouble to wake you up!" Yuffie struggled to turn around, so that she would be facing him, but met with no success. She was stuck with her back against Reeve's chest.

"I specifically remember telling you to stop your squirming. Or do you WANT to end up naked with me?"

"Um...yes?" Reeve opened his eyes to stare at the back of Yuffie's head for a moment.

"You shouldn't tease old men like me, Yuffie. It isn't very nice."

"I'm not teasing. But if you insist on my stopping squirming..."

"By all means, if that's what you want, I don't mind in the least."

"Nope, you told me to stop."

"I take it back."

"Nope. Your loss. Go back to sleep."

"Well, if that's how you want to play it...I DECLARE THAT YOU SHALL BE TICKLED! AHHH HAHAHAHAHA!"

Yuffie proceeded to use every trick she knew to escape Reeve and the tickling that he bestowed. None of the tricks worked, for Reeve was never one to give up in a fight and he kept a hold on her through sheer determination. Yuffie tended to get violent when tickled, so he made sure to keep himself in a safe position. He would make sure her back was facing him and have her as close as possible, keeping hands and arms away from her mouth, which would bite him if given the chance.

"Do you yield?" Reeve said, merciless in his tickling attack.

"Yes!"

"Say it properly!"

"I...I yield, Master Reeve! I yield!" She said breathlessly, head falling limp on a nearby pillow. "Gawd, you're so mean...Reeve. Tickling me like that."

"That is a fitting punishment for your flippant remarks earlier. It really isn't nice to tease-"

"You're not old, and I really wasn't teasing. Why do you think you're old?"

"I'm older than you." Reeve watched her eyes roll dramatically, and he chuckled. "Tell me something." Yuffie raised an eyebrow at the question.

"Like what?"

"Something I don't know about you."

"Let's see..." She looked at the ceiling, biting her lower lip slightly in thought. "Well, a few years ago I got my clit pierced."

"You did WHAT!" Reeve quickly pushed his body up on one hand, staring in shock at Yuffie, who was practically beneath him.

"I got my clit pierced."

"W-why? And why did I never hear about this?"

"Well, I just wanted to do something extreme, and I don't do the tattoo thing like Reno, so I got a piercing. I never told you," Yuffie made a show of adjusting the blankets, staring at them intently as she did so. "Because I really wanted you to find out about it on your own." She was blushing slightly, and it only got worse when she peeked up to see Reeve staring down at her. "Stop staring like that!"

"Is it a bar or a ring? Or do you want me to find out on my own this time?"

"GAWD, you're the only person that can make me blush." She rolled over, pulling the pillow over her face as she did so. "It's a ring. It has a little star charm made of diamond on it. I don't like the bars."

"Real diamond?"

"Yep. Only the best!" Yuffie squealed when Reeve removed the pillow from her face. He lifted her head gently and set it back down on the pillow. He laid down as well, pulling her back to him.

"Did you have it when you wore that nurse's outfit?"

"Yeah." She shifted slightly before leaning back against him. "I'd only had it for half a year, and I kept almost telling you about it, but I couldn't. I wasn't sure if you even liked that sort of thing."

"It depends on the size and the person. Some people just look ridiculous with such a piercing. It would be like me getting a Prince Albert." He felt Yuffie shudder.

"How can men STAND that? I cried when I got my piercing. It hurt. I couldn't walk right for days..."

"HA,HA,HA! I would have paid money to see that."

"See the piercing or me walking funny?"

"You walking funny. I should hope you would let me see it without a charge."

"Maybe, if you're nice to me. Come on, let's get breakfast! I'm hungry."

"If you insist. I was rather enjoying laying here with you."

"That doesn't make my stomach full, though."

"I don't see you making any move to get up."

"You're holding me in place, remember?"

"Good point. Let's stay here."

"Reeve, you know I get grumpy when I get hungry. Do you really want to deal with a grumpy Yuffie?"

"So long as you stay here with me." He felt Yuffie sigh, and then relax. He did the same, but he had to rearrange her hair so that it would not be in his face. It would be so easy to fall back asleep. I wonder how she would try to wake me up, though. I don't fancy a kick to the groin. He managed to stay in bed for another half hour before Yuffie insisted on getting breakfast. He complied with a sigh, allowing her to leave his bedroom. He stared at the door after she left, trying to convince himself to vacate the bed as she had. It took a great deal of mental encouragement but he did it, making it to the shower without too much difficulty.

Reeve followed his nose to the kitchen, where he found Yuffie flipping a pancake as he walked in still buttoning his shirt. She smiled a greeting at him, waving the spatula at the same time. It was a real smile, like she used to give him. It lifted his spirits considerably. He walked around the counter, eyes intent on the coffee maker and the large mugs next to it.

Blessed caffeine. He thought, taking a drink, and nearly burning his tongue in the process.

"I swear, you'd give away your most precious possession for a cup of coffee."

"Nonsense. I'd never give you away for anything. Well, maybe a cup of coffee with a danish." He turned, expecting a glare from Yuffie, but was met with a pancake full on the face. Reeve peeled it off, finding the idea of a pancake with a person's face on it highly amusing. He saw her move the spatula again, this time with a pancake on it. It slid onto a plate peacefully. "What an interesting kimono you have. I think it's a bit short though."

It looked like every other silk kimono Yuffie wore, only the bottom of it ended mid-thigh. It had a pattern of cherry blossoms on it, with a blue background.

"It's easy to move around in."

"I see. I think if you wore it outside, people might be scandalized."

"I'm not outside, and my other outfits covered less than this does. Why would they be scandalized?"

"It brings to mind the thought of how much easier it would be to take off of you than a regular kimono."

"You've never had to tie a sari. Easy to take off..."

"I would love to try."

"I just put this on. You're not taking it off." She said with a smile.

"Pity. Here, your coffee." Reeve handed her a mug, the coffee nearly white with the amount of cream she liked. "I may be helpless when it comes to cooking, but I am an expert at preparing coffee."

"You're expert at other things, Reeve."

"Oh?" He peered over her shoulder at the pancakes cooking on the griddle, one hand resting on her shoulder. Yuffie peered up at him, an amused smirk on her face. "What, pray tell, am I expert at?"

"Civil engineering. Planning. Robotics."

"Pish, posh. Name something useful."

"You make me happy."

"Now that, my dear, is worth more than the rest." He set his mug down next to Yuffie's as she slid the pancakes onto the plate. He turned back to face her, fully expecting another pancake on the face, but found Yuffie hugging him tightly. She had abandoned her spatula and breakfast preparations and instead tried to squeeze the life out of him. "What is it?" Yuffie shook her head, remaining silent. Reeve stroked her hair with the hand that was not holding her. "It has to be something. Tell me."

"I'm just glad you're here. That's all."

"I'm quite glad to be here as well, but that isn't he entire reason."

"Do you...think I'm pretty?" He blinked at the question.

"Yuffie, you're beautiful. I've always thought so."

"Really?" She sounded fearful and hopeful at the same time, making Reeve's heart clench. He moved the hand stroking her hair along her jaw, lifting her head by the chin. She blinked at him once before he kissed her. It was a brief kiss, lasting a few seconds, but they were a glorious few seconds for Reeve.

"Yes, really." Yuffie was silent, making him wonder if he had stepped over a line. "Or don't you believe me?"

"I believe you. I think." He laughed under his breath with relief.

"You sound like you need convincing, Yuffie."

Any reply she had was lost as he kissed her again. This time, Yuffie responded, inviting him into her mouth with her tongue. He let out a small groan, relishing the feeling of the kiss. It was much sweeter than he had imagined, and he was determined to enjoy it for as long as possible.

It was not until he heard the bell announcing a visitor that Reeve realized what was happening. Yuffie was no longer standing up. She was seated on the counter top, one of his legs between both her hers. He had one hand buried in her hair and the other around her waist. Her kimono had fallen off one shoulder, revealing a great deal of flesh. He was in the process of kissing and biting his way to her collarbone, which Yuffie was apparently enjoying. Her head was to the side, giving him easy access to her neck. She had one hand on his chest and the other around his neck.

He growled against her throat when the bell rang again.

"I'm going to kill whoever that is."

"Ignore it. Kisa's off today, and I'm not going to get it." Yuffie took the hand from his chest and used it to lift his head so she could kiss him. She knew what she was doing, and he became so absorbed in the way she kissed him he forgot about the person at the door.

-Bang, bang- "Yo, Yuffie, you home?"

"Why now? Why right this second?" Reeve said, his head falling to rest at the base of her neck in defeat. Yuffie laughed lightly, running a hand through his hair.

"Murphy's Law. It's okay, Reeve."

"No it's not. I was enjoying myself. And so were you."

"Then see if you can get rid of him." Reeve, who was more than reluctant to leave the kitchen, sighed heavily and slid away from her, but not before stroking her cheek gently with the back of his fingers. He went to the front door, silent out of habit and threw it open, revealing two men on the porch. "Reno. Rude. How nice to see you." He was glaring at them, a smile on his face that did not reach his eyes. He had one hand on the door and the other on the frame, blocking their way inside. Rude adjusted his tie at hearing Reeve's voice, and the look on his face made Reno 's hand twitch slightly for his Mag Rod.

"Uh, hey Reeve. Didn't know you were here. Bad timing?"

"Abominably."

"We interrupt anything interesting?"

"Breakfast. Coffee. What would have led to sex on the kitchen counter."

"The usual, huh? Mind if we join you for breakfast, then?" Reno smiled, thinking Reeve was joking.

"I do, actually. Why don't you come back, say, next week?"

"You're getting better at fooling people, yo. If you were anyone else with that expression, I'd think you were telling the truth or something." Reno said, walking forward like Reeve would get out of his way. He thought about simply knocking both of them out, but the neighbors would likely have hysterics at two unconscious bodies on Yuffie's doorstep.

"By all means, invite yourselves over for breakfast. I'm sure Yuffie will be delighted with your company." Reeve let them inside, keeping all the scenarios for their deaths in his mind. They followed him into the kitchen after taking their shoes off. "Yuffie, look who decided to pay a visit."

"Oh. Hey, guys! What brings you here?"

"We had a weekend off and decided to see what you were up to. You know, you don't need a watchdog if Reeve answers your door like that. Scared the shit outta me."

"Hmm. Then why didn't you run away?" Reeve asked, reclaiming his coffee mug from the counter and taking a sip. He winced at it, finding it room temperature. "Damn it, not only do these two clowns interrupt but my coffee has gotten cold..." He was about to dump it in the sink when Yuffie took the mug from his hand and replaced it with one full of hot, steaming coffee. His mood brightened significantly. "Yuffie, what would I do without you?"

"Spend your time getting fresh cups of coffee for all eternity, apparently. Is there enough sugar?"

"Yes. I would also be buried in take out boxes. Why not just live in Midgar with me? Then you don't have to worry about me eating right or wasting coffee."

"Alright. We'll leave whenever your vacation's over."

"Wonderful. Would you like to redecorate?"

"Sure. I'll have a blast while you spend your time at work."

"I'd help, you know. I'm quite good at household chores and painting."

"Great! It's settled." Yuffie began cooking bacon and more pancakes. The smell of breakfast quickly filled the kitchen, and it's occupants with devilish thoughts on how to devour their meal.

"You doing alright? Cloud keeps pestering us to see if either of you have called." Rude said. He rarely talked when on duty, but he was relatively chatty with friends after work. "He seemed worried."

"To think he has so little faith in me that he has to call the two of you. I shall have to talk with that young man." Reeve said, leaning on one of the counters.

"I'm fine. Spikey's being over-protective and nosy. That's all." Yuffie was piling the pancakes high on a plate and adding bacon to another. "Grab the syrup, Reeve? And utensils. Food time." Yuffie led the way into another room with a low table and cushions around it. Reeve came in with the syrup and both Reno and Rude had plates and utensils. They sat down, quickly starting their meal.

"You sure are a great cook, Yuffie. But why are a couple of these pancakes cold?" Reno said, a forkful of pancake halfway to his mouth.

"Reeve distracted me." Both Reno and Reeve paused, food almost at their mouths. Reno's bite of pancake fell from the fork as he stared at Reeve. Rude was staring too, but his forkful stayed put.

"You were serious, Reeve?" Reno asked, for once in his life not thinking everything was a joke.

"What made you think I was joking?" Reeve asked calmly. He kept from glaring at them by savoring the taste of his coffee.

"Shit, yo, why didn't you say something?"

"I did."

"What did you tell them, Reeve?" Yuffie asked, chewing on a bite of bacon. The rest of the bacon was in her fingers, waiting for it's chance to be eaten.

"Oh, that they had abominable timing and we were in the middle of foreplay in the kitchen."

"Oh. At least you didn't tell them about the table." Yuffie replied, completely unruffled and eating the last of her bacon.

"Yes."

"What about the table?" Rude asked. He and Reno both had their plates in hand, staring at the table as though it would bite them. Yuffie giggled at their faces while Reeve was taking multiple pictures of them as they gazed in horror at the table.

"Nothing happened on the table. I promise. You guys should see your faces..." They both set their plates down with relief and resumed eating. "It was just on the kitchen counter." They both stopped chewing. Reno looked ready to spit out what he was eating. Reeve was still clicking away with his camera. It was not every day Reno looked ready to vomit.

"What...happened on the kitchen counter?" Rude asked, seeing as Reno looked ready to throw up.

"Oh, nothing much." Reeve replied, sipping his coffee. "You banged on the door before anything involving bodily fluids could happen."

"Oh."

Reno and Rude hurried through the rest of the meal, almost running out of their shoes down the street. The minute they were out of sight, Yuffie and Reeve burst out laughing.

"I could almost forgive them for that scene at breakfast."

"Almost, Reeve?" Yuffie was beside him, locking the door.

"Almost. So, how shall we redecorate my apartment? Or would you like a new one? How about a condo?" Yuffie laughed, throwing her head back.

"I love your apartment, Reeve. And I was thinking of a yellow and purple paisley wallpaper in the living room."

"Well, it would match my new tie..."

I liked it! I think Reeve is a blast. Such an under-rated character. I shall add him to my list of Cartoon Men I Love.

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