Supposed to Be
Disclaimer: Nope…I don't own anything, especially not Star Trek… I also don't own the snippet of song in this…its by James Blunt, who is a wonderful artist. Go buy his stuff and give him money so I won't get sued for using his 17 words…thankx!
A/N: Thank you to all of you who reviewed…you really helped me! This chapter takes place about a week after Trip's death.
She had never felt so alone in all of her life. T'Pol stood at the edge of Trip's grave on Earth. She was the last one standing there after the funeral. Everyone had seemed to understand that she needed extra time to say goodbye to him.
Her mind felt empty now, because she no longer had that comfortable warmth of Trip in her subconscious mind. It was the loudest silence she had ever heard, roaring in her ears and making her head ache.
After Trip's death, Enterprise had flown back to Earth, stopping on Vulcan briefly to attend to some matters that had needed to be cleared up. Enterprise had not been to Vulcan for a while, so this was the conclusion that T'Pol had come to as to why they were there. She had been in a kind of daze over the last week, not fully taking in her surroundings and interactions.
The funeral had been brief but touching. Trip's parents were there, and had come over to talk to her and offer her comfort as much as receive comfort from this strong willed woman. She had met them after Archer's speech to the Federation, and was immediately attracted to them because of their obvious similarity to Trip. The whole crew had been there to pay their respects to their friend and comrade.
T'Pol had cried again, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. This phenomenon had become quite common over the last few weeks, although this was the first time she had done so in public. She had watched the crew's senior officers. Hoshi and Travis were both crying, neither one restraining their emotions. Malcolm was completely distraught. He had been one of Trip's closest friends on Enterprise, watching movies with Trip, taking his leave with him, and confiding his thoughts and feelings to him.
The doctor and the Captain were the only ones whose reaction she could not interpret. They seemed distant and unsettled, as if they were watching a horror unfold before them. T'Pol supposed this could be because they had been the ones to see Trip die, but she couldn't be sure. Even after all her years working with humans, she still could not always judge their reactions properly.
The coffin had been closed. T'Pol welcomed this small comfort, as she did not know how she could have borne to see Trip's burned and lifeless body. She had struggled enough when he was in a coma many years before, but this was different. This was Trip, her Trip that was being buried. On Vulcan they did not burry their dead, but burned them as a sign of respect. The sandy terrain on Vulcan was such that it was not easy to dig graves, and even harder to keep the bodies buried. As a result, she was not used to having a grave to visit. She had already decided that she could not stay on Earth, that she needed to isolate herself in the starkness of Vulcan society. There no emotion existed. And she could escape her feelings of loneliness and regret. Regret because of the years they could have had together, could have shared.
She remembered a human song she had heard some time before.
"Goodbye my lover,
Goodbye my friend,
You have been the one,
You have been the one for me…"
As the day drew to a close, T'Pol finally knelt down and spoke to her…what? Lover, friend, bondmate, comrade, and so much more.
"Hello. You must forgive my discomfort; I am not accustomed to speaking to you this way. I am used to being able to see you, smell you, hear your remarks or jokes. I am certain now that my statement on the shuttle pod was true. I miss you very much.
Jonathan tried to help me by relating some common human sentiments regarding death, but I am afraid that they were confusing.
You see, it is apparently common knowledge that time heals all wounds, but I am finding that absence makes the heart grow stronger. Every day that you have not been aboard Enterprise, I have missed your presence more. I do not know how I will be able to deal with this loss in the future, but I will attempt to try.
I will always remember you t'hy'la."
She was crying again.
A/N: thank you to all who reviewed! It means a lot, and keeps me motivated. Keep it up:)