CHATPER SEVEN – HERMIONE IS A BOTHER

Disclaimer: Who even reads these? I've said it for the past six chapters, I'll say it again. I don't own Harry Potter. What a shocker.

Ron saw Hermione in Charms that afternoon. She kept playing with her hair and sticking her chest out at him. "Hi Hermione," he greeted her.

Hermione chewed her eighteen sticks of gum loudly. Because even though Hogwarts wasn't cool enough to have a gym, or electricity, it had a gumball machine. "Don't even think about flirting with me, Ronald. I'm taken."

"Okay then."

"By who, you ask?"

"I never said—"

"By VICTOR KRUM. The INTERNATIONAL Quidditch star."

"I don't care."

"What's the matter? You look jealous."

"That's funny, because I'm not even a little bit jealous. I have a girlfriend, Hermione."

"Oooo, RONALD is JEALOUS."

"Please stop calling me that."

"He wants to KISS ME, he wants to MAKE LOVE TO ME…"

Ron resisted the urge to strangle the bitch.

"…He wants to love me ALL NIGHT LONG."

He walked away, annoyed within an inch of his life.

"He wants to…hey…"

Dear Hermione,

The "Quidditch shit" is fine. Are you out of your fucking mind? I already told you, I met someone. I'm very happy. Please leave me alone.

And what the hell was up with the picture?

Victor

Dearest Victor,

Oops! I must've accidentally put the picture in the wrong envelope. I'm pursuing a career in modeling. Did you like it? You can keep it. WINK

I'm soooooo glad we're girlfriend and boyfriend. I think we're going to last 4-EVER! LOL!

Yours forever,

Hermione

Hermione,

IF I SEE YOUR OWL AGAIN, I WILL HEX IT.

PLEASE DO CONTACT ME AGAIN.

Yours,

Victor

Vicky-boo,

I know the outside says this is from Harry, but it's me. I just wanted to let you know that I love you, and please don't take this personally, but you're a little touchy.

You should've heard my friend Ron when he found out we were going out. He was soooo jealous. I think I have to break things off with you, to spare his feelings. I know it hurts, but it's not you. You're wonderful. But I think Ron is love with me.

Yours always,

Hermione

Short chapter! Wowza. "Steaming hockey players, Batman!" (heh heh) Sorry bout that…next chapter you can look forward to: Bunny, gay Slytherins, a new band, and what every fanfic is incomplete without: Hermione drunk. Plus some more nonsense. Please tell me if you see any grammatical errors, (besides fragments) because I'm a grammar Nazi.