(Hey everybody! It's Topaz Fox here! Nope, I'm not dead...I've just been busy with the biggest move of my life. After months of inactivity, I present to you a story that I wrote at the request of a very dear friend...
(Caytlyn, you helped me out so much. You've let me be myself and really shine, and youlet me into your world. I guess I haven't known you for too long, but that'll change XD Thanks for staying up late and talking to me...giving me a chance to joke around, be depressed, or vent my anger...showing me my first Lolita styles...being okay with me even when I get annoying or weird...and giving me those Nerds on the day I met you. Isn't it funny how fate works? I'm looking forward to hanging out with you and getting to know you better. This one's for you, babe!
(This is also my first real yaoi, guys, so don't be too harsh 0.0)

(Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Kingdom Hearts. Period.)

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Do you have any idea what you mean to me?

I don't remember how long I've known you or where we met, but I do know we've always been together. Before that…I was blank. How do I describe it?

You fed my fire.

I was always so damn afraid of screwing up when I was around you. I learned to moderate everything I said, and yet you helped me open up and find myself. You were so kind to me at first, I forgot what I was.

I hated everyone…except for you.

Every second of my life was empty unless I was with you. You were my life support; every time you weren't there, I would want nothing more than to see you. I wished so bad that I could share everything with you…

Then it became something more.

I was alarmed when I first realized what my addiction meant. Sure, I went into denial at first. Who wouldn't? I mean, we're not even supposed to have emotion, right? You and I both know that. But the whole time, it was all far too perfectly clear--golden boy, I was in love with you.

They said we couldn't have feelings, but I did.

That truth got so deep I couldn't get out. I had crazy dreams…dreams about just grabbing you and kissing you and more, and you were always fine with it. Your lips tasted...they tasted like sunlight, and I couldn't get enough. Hah…I wish real life was as perfect as a dream.

I burned for you.

Everything I did from then on was for you. Don't you see? How can I get you to see?

Then the twilight came.

You became so different once we discovered Sora. Nothing mattered to you anymore. You started ignoring life, and more importantly, me. I…didn't know what to do. Not even my most passionate protests could drive that old light back into you.

My life went downhill fast…it started to seem like there was nothing to live for.

Do you have any idea how many of those hollow black nights I spent crying for you? Yes, Roxas, I cried. For you. The empty spot inside of me--what should have been a heart--you had once filled it up with warmth. Now it felt like it was full of acid, and it was eating me alive.

Then my worst nightmare came true.

First, I couldn't find you. You were all too gone; there was no trace of you anywhere. My memories of us together drove me insane, and after a while, I stumbled upon you. But it turned out you had changed.

Oh, god, the rage was blinding.

There was no you or me anymore. There was just jealousy, confusion, and something a lot like hate.

For not having emotions, mine were awfully strong.

Now, Roxas, I just wanted to tell you…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for how insufficient I was, how unpredictable, how I always jumped to conclusions, and how I let you down. And also…I want to tell you that I love you. More than anything in this hellhole we call a world.

Got it memorized?

--Fin--