Hate all Patients
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. Don't make any money.
I t was lunch time and House's day hadn't gotten at all better. His last two patients had pissed him off so much that he had ended up tossing the second one a vicodin (It was a mysterious case of a pulled mussel) and shoving him out of the room. Finally, lunch had come. He was now sitting with Wilson eating a sandwich that he had manipulated Wilson into paying for. That little bit of meanness had made him feel slightly better. Chase walked over to him.
"We have a case," He said in his annoying Australian accent, "thirty-one year old female, sudden onset of…"
"Stop it," House interrupted.
"What?"
"That ridiculous accent. It makes me want to strangle you. You British people just don't know when to shut up."
"I'm not British, I'm Australian."
"Whatever. It would annoy you if I started talking in a fake Spanish accent." House started talking in a ridiculously fake Spanish accent, "Doctor Chase, I think we have a case."
Chase walked away, forgetting that taking all the ridicule was a big part of his job. In fact, the main part of his job, since he wasn't quite smart enough to do anything else. Well, not compared to House.
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Lunch was over and House had to see those dreadful maggots called patients again. This time there was a five year old girl that had stuck a bean in her ear and couldn't get it out.
"Why did she stick the bean in her ear in the first place?" House asked a frantic mother.
"Well, she was watching a magic show this morning and one of the tricks was pulling stuff out of people's ears. She must have stuck something in her ear so that she would be able to show people how she could pull it out."
House was having a very hard time doing anything at this point, because the stupid inanimate little girl was fidgeting and squealing. He remembered a trick a mobster once taught him in a similar situation.
"Stop it or I'll break your ear off!" He shouted at her. The girl stopped moving, shocked. He glanced at the just as shocked mom. "The trick is believing that you actually will do it." He said, quoting the Mobster.
Now he had to get the stupid damn bean out. First he got some pliers, but after about ten minutes of trying, gave up. Then he tried to pry it out with a tooth-pick, but that idea failed also. Finally he grabbed a straw out of his desk. Sticking it into the little girl's ear he used the suction to loosen the bean enough so that he could pry it out.
"Keep the kid away from magic shows until she's old enough to understand that when they tell people not to try it at home, they actually mean it." House told the mom as he shoved them out the door.
Damn, he hated patients.
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The next patient was a woman with a runny nose and a sore neck.
"You have a runny nose and a sore neck." House said.
"Are you sure it's not meningitis? There was someone at my work who got meningitis. I could have gotten it from her. It's contagious. " The annoying patient whined.
"I know. I actually am a doctor and went to medical school."
"But meningitis also has a hurting neck and runny nose, and I've been feeling a bit off lately." The woman hung her head a little. "And I missed work yesterday and I need a note saying I had meningitis or I'll be fired.
"Ahh, I get it. You could have just said that in the first place, instead of arguing with me about meningitis." He wrote a note. "Make sure not to go back to work for a couple more days, though, as meningitis doesn't come and go that quickly.
"Thanks," said the woman, and walked out of the door.
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Cameron walked in just as House was finishing telling a little boy that he had the chicken pox.
"We have a case. Thirty-one year old woman, sudden onset of…"
"Shut up."
"What?"
"Shut up. I'm with a patient."
"So what, you hate patients."
"But I am going to get fired if I don't do quite a few more clinic hours this week. I care about my job much more then I care about some thirty-one year old's life.
Cameron glared at him before stalking out of the room.
House looked at the boy. "So, what was I saying?"
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AN: Hope u liked it. Next chapter House is going to see the thirty-one year old female because he decides that he cares about his boredom more then his job.