Disclaimer-Don't own the HP people or the song. The song is Somewhere out there by Our Lady Peace.
A/N- I like this song for a long time, I planned to write it for the Black sister's but I changed my mind because I'm writting It Ends Tonight for anyone who knows the story.
The war was still raging on. It was still going strong for six years now. More deaths in the papers every day. You couldn't trust anybody. You didn't know if the person next to you, on your way to work in the mornings, had a skull and snake on their left arm. Diagon Ally was pretty much dead. Shops were closed and broken down everywhere. The sun barely shined. It was like God knew of all the killing and all the hate that was going on. It was like he made the weather dreary on purpose.
Blaise Zabini stood, staring out the window, in his home. He stared down at the dreary grounds of his estate. He sighed. He felt two arms wrap around his waist. "What's wrong, darling?" his wife whispered in his ear as she pressed her lips to his neck. "Nothing." he muttered. He turned and kissed her gently on the lips. She smiled at him. Blaise looked at his wife. Pansy Parkinson Zabini. Her black hair was piled onto her head and her chocolate brown eyes sparkled. "What are you staring at?" she demanded. He broke from his thoughts and kissed her gently. "Nothing." he replied.
"It's because I am fat, isn't it?" Pansy sniffed as she put a hand to her growing stomach. She was 6 months along already. He smiled and kissed her lips again. "You are not fat." he told her. She rolled her eyes. He leaned down and kissed her nose gently. The door opened and a little girl stepped in. Blaise looked at his three year old daughter and smiled. "Come here, Princess." he called to her. She grinned and ran over to them. He picked her up. "Did you just wake up, Mia?" he asked. "Yes." Mia replied as she rubbed her chocolate brown eyes. Pansy smiled and kissed her daughter's cheek. "Come on Mia, let's go get breakfast ready." Pansy said as she took her daughter from her husband. She kissed Blaise's cheek and started to walk toward the door.
"Pansy, you shouldn't be carrying here in your condition." Blaise scolded as he sat down behind his desk. She rolled her eyes and left the office. She shut the door behind her. Blaise smiled. A picture, in a silver frame, caught his eye. The picture was taken at the end of his sixth year. It was of all his friends together. The last one that would have ever been taken. Eight people were in the picture. Eight best friends. Two were alive now. The picture was taken outside of Hogwarts', by the lake. Draco had his arm around Pansy. Theodore Nott was holding Daphne Greengrass. Blaise was sitting beside Draco. Millicent Bulstrode was sitting in between Crabbe and Goyle. He sighed.
Theo was killed in battle. He was a death eater. He died four years ago. Daphne was so heart broken that she killed herself a few months later, on their 2nd wedding anniversiry. Crabbe and Goyle were dead. Both killed by aurors last year. Millicent had taken her and Goyle's son to America to try to get away from the madness. They never heard from her again. She died a couple months later giving birth to her and Goyle's second child. A little girl. From what Blaise picked up, the kids were now living with her mother. Draco was lost. He left a month after the picture was taken. No one knew where he was exactly. With the death eaters, no doubt. But no one knew if he was dead or not. That was what hurt them all the most. Lucius was killed early in battle and Narcissa had died five years ago. She died of a broken heart.
Pansy was supposed to marry Draco. Blaise knew that she still loved him. But he wasn't mad. Pansy had always loved Draco. She never would stop. He really hurt her when he never came back. Blaise was there to pick up the pieces. It hurt him too. Draco was his best friend. Last time Blaise had talked to him, it was the day that Dumbledore had died. It was after dinner on that day. Draco was sitting outside watching the sunset. His eyes were unfocused. And Blaise could tell he was high on something. "Zabini." Draco had muttered. "Did you ever stop to wonder why we were put on this earth?" Blaise just stood there, staring at him in shock. He had no clue what Draco was going on about. "I mean, what is our purpose in life?" Draco asked. His unfocused gray eyes caught Blaise's black ones. Blaise shook his head. "Just get some sleep, dude." he told him and walked away.
He regretted that now. Draco was in trouble. He needed help. But he didn't notice or care. He was only 16 and Draco was talking weird. He wished he could go back and time and talk to him. Answer his question. He didn't think that he would ever get a chance again.
Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space
Laying underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling great
Watch the red orange glow
Watch it float away
After breakfast, Blaise stood up. "Well, I must be off." Blaise told Pansy. She nodded and kissed his lips gently. Blaise kissed Mia's head. "Watch on your mother for me, baby." Blaise told her. "I will, daddy." Mia answered as she swung her head around. Her black curls hitting her head. Blaise smiled. "Be careful, love." Pansy told Blaise. He nodded and with a pop, he was gone. He reported to his floor in the Ministry. He was an auror. He really didn't want to be one, but after Pansy's pleading, he decided to join. "Zabini." a voice said. Blaise turned and saw his boss walking toward him. "Yes sir?" Blaise asked. "I want you to take Thomas and patrol around Diagon Ally and Knockturn ally. Death eater activity had been reported from there." his boss told him. Blaise nodded.
An hour later, Blaise Zabini and Dean Thomas were patrolling both allies. Blaise and Dean walked past closed up shops. Boards had been nailed to the doors and windows. Signs on some shops read 'Closed forever.' A wind started to pick up. He walked along the cobbled stone road. He saw homeless people sleeping on mounds of garbage and rubbish by the old shops. Some were sleeping. Others were up, watching them walk by.
Down here in the atmosphere
Garbage and city lights
Gonna save you're tired soul
You're gonna save our lives
Turn on the radio to
Find you in satellite
Blaise and Dean were coming upon the entrance to Knockturn Ally when they ran into a little girl sitting by the side of the road. Her mother was sound asleep. She was snoring loudly. Blaise walked over to the little girl. "Hey there, sweetheart." he greeted. The little girl bit her lip and looked back to her mother anxiously. "Don't be frightened." he told her gently. "We are aurors." The girl gave them a small smile. The girl was small. She didn't look any older than five or six. She had black curly hair that was dirty. And big blue eyes. "What's your name?" he asked her as he got down on a knee to look at her better. "Sarah." she replied softly. "That's a pretty name." he told her. "How old are you?" "Five." she replied. "I have a daughter. You remind me of her. She is three. Her name is Mia." Blaise told her. "I bet she is really pretty." Sarah replied.
The mother awoke with a start. "Sarah!" she hissed. "Come here." Sarah ran over to her mother and the woman held her daughter protectivly. "What did I say about talking to strangers?" the woman scolded. "Not too." Sarah answered. "Sorry mummy." Blaise stood up and reached into his pocket. Dean did the same. "I'm sorry for scaring you ma'am." Blaise said to her. "I'm Detective Blaise Zabini, this is Detective Dean Thomas, we are aurors." Blaise and Dean showed the woman their badges. The woman nodded slowly. "We were just patrolling the ally and we saw your daughter. She is a pretty little thing. Sorry to frighten you." Blaise explained. The woman sniffed. "Some aurors. You can't even catch the death eater that killed my husband." She glared at them and walked away with her daughter. Blaise bit his lip. Would that have been Pansy if she never agreed to marry him?
I'm waiting for the sky to fall
I'm waiting for a sign
And all we are
Is all so far
You're falling back to me
The star that I can see
I know you're out there somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
Pansy laid in bad that night. Blaise was sleeping beside her. Pansy's mind fluttered back to Draco. It always did at night. She loved him and missed him terribly. She should have been married to him. Not Blaise. He was supposed to be lying beside her now. Not Blaise. He was supposed to be the father of her children. Not Blaise. A tear fell from her eyes. Oh what she wouldn't give for him to hold her one more time. Kiss her one more time. Tell her that he loved her.
Pansy remembered his gray eyes. They were so memorizing. She could get lost in them. And she had. Many times before. She wanted him to come back to her. She hoped and prayed that he would. But most of all, she prayed that he wouldn't give up. That he would keep on living. Just for her. Just for the love they used to share. She wondered if he still thought of her. And how they used to be. She wanted him back. Until then, she would lay on this bed. With a man she didn't love. On a bed of nails.
Hope you remember me
When you're homesick and need a change
I miss you're purple hair
I miss the way you taste
I know you'll come back some day
On a bed of nails I wait
I'm praying that you don't burn out
Or fade away
Pansy and Mia were sitting on the living room floor. They were playing with Mia's baby dolls. Blaise was sitting on the couch. He was reading the Daily Prophet. It was storming outside. The rain had been coming down all day. Thunder rolled over head. He set the paper down. He didn't know why he read it anyway. It was filled with deaths. He looked at his wife and daughter and smiled. Pansy caught his eye and she smiled. The door bell rang. Blaise sighed and stood up. He walked over to the door and opened it. There on the front steps, soaking wet, stood Draco. He was extremely pale. His eyes were unfocused. His platinum blonde hair was long and knatty. He was wearing blood covered death eater robes. He was holding his mask with one hand while, with the other, he held onto the railing on the steps for dear life.
"Draco." Blaise muttered. Draco's eyes closed and he passed out. Blaise caught him before he fell face first onto the ground. He picked him up without any difficulty. He walked back into the house and closed the door. Pansy walked out of the living room. Her eyes looked at Blaise and then they caught a look at Draco. She covered her mouth with a small delicte hand and tears started to fall from her eyes. "Get the first aid kit." Blaise ordered. Pansy stood there in shock for a few seconds. When she finally registered what he had said, she nodded and left. Blaise carried Draco up to a guest room and laid him on the bed. He took off his wet clothes and dressed him in some of his old things. Draco had a wound on his side. He was sleeping soundly. The only thing that told Blaise that he was sleeping and not dead was that he was breathing. His milky white chest was falling up and down.
Pansy walked into the room. Her face was tear stained. Blaise opened the box and started to dress Draco's wound. Pansy sat beside him. She ran her fingers through his dirty hair. She closed her eyes and an image came to her. She was sitting on the train. She was going to her sixth year at Hogwarts. Draco, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle were in the compartment too. Draco had his head in her lap. And she was running her fingers though his silky, blonde locks. He was smiling and laughing. They were happy. The memory escaped her and tears fell down her face. She opened her eyes and stared down at the man in front of her. This was not Draco.
And all we are
Is all so far
You're falling back to me
The star that I can see
I know you're out there somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
Pansy put Mia to bed but she didn't go herself. She sat by Draco's side. She wouldn't go. Even after Blaise begged her. She wouldn't leave his side. Blaise finally gave up and went to bed. Pansy sat by him the whole night. Playing with his long blonde hair. Another memory came to her. They were in their sixth year of Hogwarts. Draco and Pansy were coming back from a Hogsmeade visit. Draco had been distant lately. Pansy had thought that a Hogsmeade visit would help him act like his old self. But it was no used. Pansy didn't like this. She wanted her boyfriend back. She told him about it and the two got into a fight in the middle of the village. As they were walking back to the castle, Draco grabbed her arm. She muttered angrily under her breath. She turned and looked at him and Draco's lips met hers.
She pulled away in shock. He smiled at her and caressed her face lovingly. "I love you." he told her softly. Pansy smiled. Tears came to her eyes. "I love you too." she told him. He smiled and kissed her again. The rain coming down around them. Students ran past them quickly to get to the castle. But they didn't care. Pansy smiled as the memory faded. That was the night that they had made love for the first time. She looked down at his sleeping figure now. God had answered her prayers. He had come back to her.
You're falling back to me
The star that I can see
I know you're out there
Blaise went to work the next morning and Mia was taking a nap. She hadn't been feeling well. Pansy sat beside Draco. She was staring out the window, lost in thoughts. "Hey Beautiful." a voice greeted. Pansy pulled her eyes from the window and saw Draco. He looked terrible but he hadn't lost all of himself. Draco was laying up. A smile was on his face. "Draco." Pansy whispered. Tears started to fill her eyes again. "Oh Pansy." Draco said. She hugged him tightly. "Don't cry, darling." he whispered. She pulled away, wiping her face. "I've missed you." she whispered. Draco opened his mouth to answer but a coughing fit took over him.
"Draco, are you alright?" she asked him anxiously. He nodded and wiped his mouth. Blood was on his hand. Pansy looked at the blood. Draco sighed and put his head down. "I'm dying, Pansy." he told her gently. "No." she whispered. "Y-You can't." Draco met her glance. "I am...maybe I shouldn't have come." He started to stand up. "No!" Pansy cried. She grabbed his arm. "I'm glad you came. At least stay here." Draco bit his lip but nodded. "I'll bring you something to eat." Pansy told him. She stood up and left the room.
She came back with a tray of food and placed it down in front of him. He ate it hungrily. When he was done, he wiped his mouth. "How far along are you?" he asked her. "6 months." she replied. "Is he treating you right?" Draco asked her. "Yea, he is." Pansy replied. Draco smiled. "I'm happy." he told her. The door opened and Mia walked in. "Mummy." she said. "Did you wake from your nap?" Pansy asked. Mia nodded. "Come here." Pansy said to her. Mia walked over and sat on her mother's lap. "Mia, I want you to meet mummy and daddy's good friend, Draco Malfoy." "Hey little lady." he greeted. He knicked her gently under the chin. Mia smiled at him. "You can call me Uncle Draco, if you want." he told her. "Okay." Mia cried happily. She hugged Draco. Pansy smiled at them.
Blaise came home later that night. "I'm glad to see that you are up." Blaise told Draco. Draco smiled at him. "Hey dude." he greeted. Blaise leaned down and hugged him. The two spent the rest of the night catching up.
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
It was a few weeks later and Draco seemed to be getting worse. He could barely walk. He usually stayed in bed. Blaise was at work and Pansy and Mia were sitting in Draco's room. Draco was playing dolls with Mia. He looked really sick. Draco was playing with a boy doll. Mia had a girl dolls kiss Draco's boy doll. "Ooooo, she thinks your cute." Draco cried in a weird voice as he looked at the doll. Pansy and Mia laughed. After dinner, Pansy put Mia to bed. Draco took Pansy's hand. Pansy looked at him. Draco was breathing hard. "What's wrong?" Pansy asked anxiously. He shook his head and his breathing returned to normal. Pansy bit her lip. He smiled weakly up at her. "Is he taking good care of you?" Draco asked. "Is he treating you right?" Pansy nodded slowly. "Good." Draco replied. "He really loves you." "I really love you." Pansy told Draco. He sighed. "Pansy, try to forget about me." "I can't forget about you." Pansy snapped, tears filling her eyes.
"You were my first love, my first kiss, my first time, my first everything. How can you just ask me to forget about you? I gave my heart to you years ago and I never got it back." Draco sighed. "I love you too, Pansy. But my time is very limited. Blaise loves you." "But I don't love him!" Pansy yelled, tears starting to run down her face. Draco hugged her tightly. "I love you and if you really loved me, you would do me this favor." he whispered in her ear. "What?" she asked as she pulled back and looked into his gray eyes. "Move on." he said. Pansy cried. Draco pulled her back to him and kissed her lips gently. He hugged her tightly. They sat there, in each other's arms, for hours. Pansy finally pulled away. She kissed his lips. And without a word, she left his side.
Blaise came into the room a little bit later. He had just come home from work. He sat down beside Draco. "Hey Drake." Blaise greeted. "Blaise." Draco greeted back. The two sat there in silence for a little while. Neither of them knew what to say. "Draco, remember our sixth year?" Blaise asked, breaking the silence. Draco nodded. "Do you remember the last time we spoke, you asked me what was our purpose on this earth?" Blaise went on. Draco nodded. "I didn't answer you then, because I didn't know. I know now." Blaise said. Draco looked at him. "I didn't learn until Mia was born. When I held her in my arms for the first time, I knew what my purpose was. My purpose was to be on this earth for that little girl. To raise her. To help her learn and grow." Draco smiled. "I finally found out what my purpose was a couple hours ago." Draco told him. "Pansy and Mia were sitting in here and that it when it hit me. My purpose was to become a death eater." Blaise looked at him questioningly. "My purpose was to become a death eater and lose Pansy." "Dr-" Blaise started but Draco put up a hand to silence him. "You said your purpose was to be here for Mia. Well, my purpose was to lose Pansy. I was supposed to lose her so she would give you your daughter, your purpose." Blaise just stared at him. He didn't know what to say.
"I know what my purpose is now." Draco continued. "I can move on now. I'm ready to go." Tears fell down Blaise's face. He hugged his best friend tightly.
You're falling back to me
The star that I can see
I know you're out there somewhere out there
Blaise was sitting at his desk on the auror floor. He was talking to Dean when his boss ran in. He was looking anxious. "Death eaters!" he cried. "In Diagon Ally!" Blaise and Dean jumped up and with numbers of other aurors, they disapperated. By the time they got to the ally, the death eaters were gone. The only things that were left were dead bodies lying all around the ally and the dark mark over the ally. "We came to late." a voice cried. Blaise was looking down at the dead bodies when a thought struck him. Sarah. Where was she? Was she okay? He had to find her. Blaise started to run down the cobbled stone road, looking at the bodies. Hoping that he would find the little girl alive. He heard a moan to the far right of him. He walked over and his heart nearly stopped. Sarah was lying on the ground. Her clothes were ripped off of her and blood was flowing freely from her private parts. She also had a wound on her chest.
Blaise scooped the little girl into his arms and disapperated to St. Mungo's. Healers took her from him immediatly. He sat down in the waiting room. He put his head into his hands and, for the first time in a long time, he prayed. Dean showed up a little while later. No words were spoken between the two. They didn't need too. Dean took a seat next to Blaise and waited with him. A couple hours later, a healer walked in. "Detective Zabini?" the healer called. Blaise stood up. He walked over to the healer. Dean followed "How is she?" Blaise asked. The healer looked at him sadly. "She was raped. She also had internal bleeding. We operated on her. We tried the best we could, but her heart gave out. I'm sorry but she didn't make it." Blaise looked away. Tears streaming down his face.
"What about the parents?" the healer asked. "Her father was killed by a death eater some time ago." Blaise answered, his voice getting caught in his throat. "And the mother?" the healer asked. Blaise looked at Dean. "She was killed earlier today." Dean replied. Blaise turned away from them. He had to get home. He didn't want to be here anymore. He didn't want to be an auror anymore. Blaise disapperated home and walked through the door. "Daddy!" Mia cried as she ran to him. Blaise picked her up and hugged her tightly. "Mia, what are you doing up this late?" he asked her. Mia didn't get a chance to answer. Pansy walked into the room. Her face was tear stained. Blaise looked at his wife, curiously. "Draco's dead." she told him. Tears escaped Blaise's eyes. Pansy walked over to him and hugged him tightly.
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
3 Months later
"Push Mrs. Zabini, Push!" a healer cried. Pansy gasped and gave one last good push. A baby's cry was heard. "It's a girl!" the healer cried. Pansy sank back onto the pillow. She was exhausted. The healer cleaned off the baby and wrapped her in a pink blanket. She handed Pansy the bundle. The baby had a full head of black hair and big blue eyes. "Blue eyes?" Pansy asked with a laugh. Blaise kissed Pansy's forehead. "Wanna hold your daughter?" Pansy asked. Blaise nodded and Pansy put the newborn in his arms. Blaise looked down at her and smiled. "What are you going to name her?" a healer asked. "Sarah." Pansy answered.
Blaise glanced at her quickly. Pansy smiled at him. "It's perfect." he whispered. She smiled and kissed his lips gently. Blaise looked back to his daughter and smiled. His purpose conversation with Draco ran through his head. 'I was put on this earth for Mia.' 'I was put on this earth to become a death eater. I was supposed to lose Pansy so she can give you, your purpose.'
You're falling back to me
I know, I know
You're falling out of reach
I know