Random wars
Disclaimer: don't sue me for this! I own no one damn it!
Link: there's so many people in this fic, it's crrrrrrrrrrrrazy!
a guy runs around the park naked.
WTF?
Homer: -screams and starts sobbing- my clothes are all gone!
Bart: I sold your underwear and donated your clothes to charity!
Homer: why you little..! –strangles Bart-
Matthew: mama! Where are you!
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Popo: OMG aliens! –shoots a cow-
Nana: WTF! Where? –looks around-
Popo: -accidentally kills Nana with his gun... - oh no...oh no...NOOOOOOOOOO!
Sad music plays.
Popo breaks down and sobs like a girl.
Popo: gods, why did you take my sister! Take me! ME!
Ridley: dumb city person crying like a moron! Hyuh hyuh!
Little Mac: -plays violin- that man has no balls!
Pit: Laura!
Peter Griffin: cheese! –laughs-
Diddy: I hate you, man. Seriously.
Poo: -stares- whoa...
Paula: you, sir, deserve death!
Brian Griffin: that's so...sad.
Popo continues crying.
A voice screams "I'm not dead!"
Popo looks around.
Popo: wha?
The voice yells again.
Popo: oh noes ghost!
Nana: -gets up and slaps Popo- idiot! I was unconscious!
Sad music stops.
Crowd: WTF!
Nana: I have a bullet-proof shield!
Popo: you never told me!
Nana: you have one too you bastard!
Popo: oops! I forgot! –scratches his head-
Nana: grrrrrrrrrrrr! Die bitch! –her becomes face really, really red and grabs a huge gun-
Popo: UH OH. O.O;;;;;;
Popo runs away really fast and Nana catches up.
The scene shows 2 birds sitting in a tree looking at Popo and Nana.
Bird # 1: wooooohooooo...loonies. –does the crazy loop with his hand-
Bird # 2: phew! I wouldn't wanna be them!
Popo has a scared look on his face.
Popo: pppppppllllllllllease don't hurt me sister! I beg of you! –clings to Nana's leg-
Nana: -kicks Popo away and stabs his arm and kicks him in the balls-
Popo: -cries-
The people who were looking at Popo and Nana fighting laugh really hard.
Diddy: whoa, the dude is a pussy!
Dixie: -bleep!-hole ...that is one wimp of a brother!
Waluigi: I –bleeep!- him right now!
Banjo: ahahahahahahahaha! –coughs- oh god!
Popo bleeds to death.
Daisy: -takes pictures- brother beaten by his own sister.. this should go on the front page...awesome! ...wait, this should go on the...I give up. -throws the pictures away-
Wario: tourists sucks ass! Wanna have a pencil, bitch? –hands the pencil to a boy-
Felt: -throws the pencil away and violently punches Wario in the stomach- this for –punches Wario again- giving –punches Wario once again- free crappy pencils!
Wario vomits all over the tourists.
Toan: pig vomit! Run!
Xiao: he is scary!
Wario: yuh tuh, aruh dunm!-insults Toan and Xiao-
Felt: fatass moron...giving free pencils!—leaves to go to Yay Taco!-
Iris: wait up! –runs after Felt-
Popo: oh god, my balls!
Fudgie: whoa...his injury is worse than mine!
A guy: OMG! Chocolate ice cream cake whale! Yays! –bites Fudgie's tail-
Fudgie: awww, crap...
Nana: -stares at Fudgie who is being eaten...- if you can't beat them, join them! –bites herself-
Popo is dragged to the hospital.
Popo: oooooooowwww...my- Oh God! The pain!
Wario: kids and tourists must DIE!
Wario goes on a rampage.
Jitters: what's his problem? –punches a huge meat bag-
Boone: -is eating beetles out of a trash can- dunno!
Sally: d………do….r…k.Wa…….rio…i…is..a….d… …ork.. –monotone-
Mitzi: you said it, pink robo ninja squirrel thingy!
Saltbearto street.
Tir: you! –points to Ness and chases him-
Ness: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Wario appears out of nowhere.
Wario: you a stupid kangaroo!
Tir: what? –stops chasing-
Wario: -touches Tir's ass- ey!
Tir: O.O OMG! Sexual fatass panda! Help!
May: eeeeewwwwwww! –gets shot by a guy- what did I do…..what did I do…..-faints-
A girl with a ponytail walks by, stabs Wario in the leg, shoots him in the eye and disappears.
Fox: yo pimps and bitches!
Wario: hey edog!
Fox: hey dpig!
Snake: this sucks, I'm leaving! –leaves to go to a playground-
Wario: yo.. duh!
Fox: duh!
Wario: duh!
Fox: duuuuuuuuuh!
Wario: duh dumbo!
Fox: DUUUUH DUUUH DUUUH! DUUUUH DUUUH! –spanks his ass-
Ness: stupid bastards!
Tir: true words….now let's fight!
Ness: oh well, better than going home eating 4 month meat loaf!
Both: -fight-
Tir is seen chasing Ness with his weapon.
Wario: you duh! –leaves-
Falco: what's a turd? doo doo!
Zelda: you people are toony loonies! –eats an ant- mmmmm, crunchy!
Wario: you nut smoart!-acts really crazy-
Cybil: -is really clueless- O.o….I would rather spit on your head!-smacks Wario with Lisa's frying pan-
Bus # 1.
A beaver, a wolf and a blond haired woman sat and talked.
Link: wood and jelly! Nanananananaana Buttman! Buttman! –gnaws a piece of wood-
Marth: sooooo…..tell me your secret!
Roy: no, if anybody in this bus finds out…..I'll be in jail…..for life! You don't want that, do you? –giggles like a seductive woman-
Marth: ….-cricket chirps-
Link: do the robo monkey dance! Yays!
Roy: cute…-smirks-
Marth: -howls-
Captain Falcon: -is eating a tobacco sandwich- buhdo! A123421! Heeeeeya, Maria!
"Maria"/ Roy: -kicks Captain Falcon in the crotch- why won't you die! –hisses like a snake-
Captain Falcon: uh ok! –is beaten to death by pyramid heads-
Marth: your sexy as a girl…-smirks-
"Maria"/ Roy: shut up you decease-filled canine!
Marth: your a stripper!
"Maria": you smell like dead kumquat babies!
The Real Maria: AAAAAAAAHHHHH! Doppelganger! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! James impersonator! –points to Marth and jumps out the window- finally! Oh noes! –screams- Jjjjjjjjjjjjaaaaaaaaaaames!
Marth: I'm not James!
Maria: James! –clingy-
Link: that was sooooo awkward. Oh, I gotta go guys!
"Maria": why? So you can get killed by pyramid heads and man eating toddlers?-laughs very hard and stops-
Link: I'm gonna serve ice cream!
"Maria": what kind? Blood and fetuses? –distorted laughter-
Link: I serve that only to Luigi the baby eater!
"Maria": Luigi? –does a bloody scream, runs around like an idiot and crashes into a brown cat-
Kitty: mew?
"Maria": OMG! Luigi is gonna eat me!-screams and runs around-
Kitty: mew? o.o
"Maria": what a cute kitty….die DK! –grabs a kitchen knife-
Kitty: -runs away, far away-
Marth: go away!
Maria: James! O.O –still clinging-
Kitty: meow!
Diddy is seen shooting Petey with Cybil's gun in the background.
Diddy: what a cheap rip-off at Budget Mart! Die you piece of goat doo-doo!
Petey: -slithers and burns-
Wario: who are you, stupid monkey boy?
Diddy: -completely ignoring Wario- let's celebrate with vanilla milkshakes!
Dixie: yays!
They both walk away.
Wario: -grabs a 3 week chili dog and eats it-
Peach: ewwww!
Bowser: stupid TV toddlers!-punches the small TV-
Boy with a big hat: what's wrong with TV, old man?
Bowser: -old man's voice- the news is run by useless babies! The commercials are disturbing! Republicans are dick holes!
The huge TV shows a commercial about forests. The forest looks peaceful and then a bunch of rednecks appear and shoot everything in the forest. Blood is smeared everywhere in the forest. And a black screen appears saying: never let a redneck wander in the forest in red text. and then it shows Sesame Street: Uncensored.
Elmo: Elmo been bad!-is spanked by Ernie and Bert-
Boy: Mommy, my eyes!
Cybil: Oh damn it, my eyes are being cooked in the sun! Matt, get the hell away from the TV! Oh my god! Aaaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhh!
Matt: wahhhh! Mommy's gone kooky!
Cybil goes insane, whacking cars with a huge fork.
Matt: daddy is not like mommy is!
Bowser: see? Those people hate TV as much I do! Stupid baby goat!
Boy with a big hat: TV doesn't suck!
Peach: -loud ribbit- great, Toma and Bowser are at it..again.
Toma: I'm not a baby, you TV hating zombie cockroach!
A man walks up to Peach.
Man: Have you seen a blond haired woman wearing red clothes? Her name's Maria and I'm looking for her.
Peach: Look buddy, this is not the lost and found center! Go ask the worst cops in the universe for that info! –pointing to the two dogs yawning and scratching their asses with her tongue-
Man: where's the kitty-kitty bakery? –asking Booker-
Booker: -farts loudly- uh, ummmmmmm………..up in the sky!
Man: I don't see anything…wait, a UFO…naw…..just stupid birds!-looking up in the sky- your a damn liar!
Booker: it's invisible!
Copper: he's right!
Man: you bastards! -thinking- man, that talking pink frog wasn't kidding about the worst cops!-hits head-
Copper: are you having a headache? -is biting Booker's leg for no reason-
Man: you are both the stupidest and nastiest cops I've ever met! You're even worse than Eddie!
Copper: I like to be a dirty cop!
Booker: me so horny for you!
Man: -annoyed- I'm leaving!
Wario: -gets arrested for harassing tourists- you haven't seen the last of me, tourists!
People pop in random places.
kitty: -turns into Angela- it's peanutbutterjellytime! Whereyougo? Peanutbutterjelly, peanutbutterjelly! Peanutbutterjellywithabaseballbat!
Lisa: I love you K.K. Slider! –throws her hat at him and eats fish burritos-
A Big Ben look alike suddenly collapses on Petey and Metaknight.
Cybil: muhahahahahahahaha!-smashes a house-
DK: pizzzzzzzzzzza!
Eliwood: what in god—gets killed by man eating nurses-
"Maria": I hate you step daddy! I despise you fetus eating rapist!-bloody eyes-
Marth: help me!
Matt: mommy's not like this!-sobs-
Olimar: can't you see I'm busy people!-touches a girl-
Luigi: kids, teens, adults and babies are yummy in my tummy! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Tom Nook!
Snake: is dad there? …..oh, Harry. How's it going. Cheryl who? What the hell is a Cherry!
Harry: Is this Pizza Galaxy? Is my daughter there?
Snake: NO!
Cheryl: daddy……..daddy!
Serra: fur is murder!-strangles an ugly looking nurse-
Zelda: you suck, zealot!
Heather: mrrrrrrrrrrrow!
Hector: watch the bakery while I'm killing somebody's bugs ok, Alessa?-opens the door and sees a bunch of angry villagers- oh my god!-closes door-
Alessa: I wanna have peanut buttah fudge chocolate marshmallow cookies nows daddy! D'OH!
Homer: I peed my pants!-faints of the sight of the angry mob-
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Sorry, it took weeks to get this chapter done! –sweatdrops-
Review or pyramid head will gnaw your brains out!
If you're a flamer, you will asplode in a second!
NEXT: Ganondorf, the psycho killah mailman!
Bye bye!