Hi!

I know some of you were worried that I would drop this story to work on the other one I started. Nope! See I updated it. I like this one too much and I want to finish it! Hehhehe. Thanks for reviewing everyone! This was a rushed post – I have to get to work! Don't want to get fired hehehe

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any other references made to either series… but Mik is mine lol.

Abhorrence

Chapter #15: The Calm

"Hey, Zala?"

The words were muffled by a fog that seemed to prevent him from catching hold of compete consciousness, forcing him to linger between it and that of oblivion. He didn't have the strength to open his eyes as his brain slowly registered the voice speaking to him and gave it an owner. Only two people had ever spoken to him like that and only one spoke with such a sharp, demanding tone. Moaning,Athrun shifted weakly and forced his eyes open a crack. Immediately his visual senses were bombarded with images and he shuddered, unable to focus.

"Yzak?" His own voice was airy and just barely above a whisper as he licked his cracked, dry lips and moaned. He could vaguely feel his limbs but there was a bitter cold that had driven itself ruthlessly into his inner core and he found it difficult to move, even breathe. His chest felt heavy, his limbs stiff and unresponsive. He knew that his arms and legs were there, but for some reason they felt detached.

"Athrun?" This time it was Dearka and Athrun was able to make out the two forms loaming over him. "How are you feeling?"

Determined to answer, Athrun tried to take a deep breath. He gasped, gagged and instantly broke out in a painful coughing fit as the air refused to reach his lungs. His eyes watered as he clinched them shut and fought to draw in the breaths of air his body was demanding. He couldn't. It felt as though someone had taken hold of his windpipe and refused to let go.

"Breathe…" He wheezed, struggling to get the words out. "Can't…."

"He can't breathe!" Yzak declared the somewhat obvious but a quick and harsh glare from Dearka immediately silenced him. His brow furrowed with deep concern. After sleeping throughout the night and most of the day, Athrun had seemed to get worse. True, he was no longer frozen but now his body burned with fever and Dearka was at a loss as to what he should do.

"He'll be sick for a while," Dearka sighed. "You don't think he'll…"

"Don't you DARE even THINK about that!" Yzak sneered, averting his attention from Athrun to Dearka. His face was flaming with rage but it was more frustration and his helplessness in the situation that shone in his eyes. "Athrun will be FINE!"

"I'm just saying…"

"Shut up!"

"I didn't say I wanted him to die!" Dearka shot back. "After all we went through?"

"Well it sure sounds like it!"

"Oh shut up, Yzak!" Dearka snapped and carefully placed a cloth on Athrun's warm forehead. His heart twisted painfully when Athrun withdrew from him and tensed as if he half expected Dearka to strike him.

Athrun could hear someone arguing but he couldn't make out the words. They were coming too quickly and he coughed slightly, forcing his body to calm down. His entire being now felt as though it was on fire, as though he was burning and he moaned softly.

Quiet but rapid gasps escaped him as he struggled to breathe, clinching his eyes even tighter. Everything felt so distant. He couldn't move yet his body continued to violently wrench forward as he coughed. Again and again, he could feel his stomach squeezing with each cough that escaped his lips until finally he suddenly lurched forward and emptied what little he had in his stomach onto the floor.

Tears of frustration stung his eyes as his body went slack and he fell back onto his back, groaning. Pain flared up in his abdomen and lanced across his shoulders, particularly his left shoulder as the spasms sent him reeling. Exhausted, he could feel consciousness swimming in and out of him and he quivered helplessly.

Yzak and Dearka immediately responded.

Yzak rushed to clean up the mess that Athrun had left on the floor while Dearka readjusted the damp cloth on Athrun's forehead. He could feel the heat rolling off of his brow and grimaced.

Dearka looked down at his friend with a heavy heart. Athrun's breathing was shallow, his movements growing less and less noticeable and he looked flushed and pale at the same time. He knew they were loosing him… but he wasn't gone. Not yet. He was fighting. Although Athrun's eyes were sealed shut and his vital signs were fading, Dearka could see that his friend was desperately clinging to his life by a thread… even if it was only a thin thread… he wasn't giving up.

"Come on," He pleaded. "You have got to hang in there."

In his semi-conscious state, Athrun could feel death reaching out to greet him and indeed, he almost wanted to embrace it. He was so weak, so sore, he was feverish yet numb at the same time and he felt as though he was slowly being suffocated. His breaths were coming slower now and didn't satisfy his body's needs. This darkness that was stretching out a welcoming hand promised relief from his pain, his agony and he could feel his body pleading for him to give in.

However, voices held him back. Kept him fighting. He could just barely hear them but knew that these voices we're those of friends and people who cared about him. He didn't want to let go, he didn't want to leave them. And so he continued to resist against the lingering darkness, even though it was gradually sapping away his strength and will to struggle.

"Close your eyes and have some rest," Dearka, and carefully straightened Athrun's blankets. The young man sagged lower into the cot and moaned. He was drifting again… everything hurt so badly. His limbs were numb and deadened and his mind was slow – all because of that horrible drug that Jibril had insisted on giving him over and over again. Strangely enough, however, he felt cold and warm sensations rage war in his body and trembled under the siege. He was drowning. Fluid was making it difficult to breathe and he was almost afraid to close his eyes on the chance he may never open them again.

He shook his head weakly but had no strength left to fend off the darkness that consumed him.

Dearka sighed and settled back onto the floor and stared at him, eyes narrowed. His pained moans had kept him up for the better part of the last 24 hours and made his insides wrench painfully but as long as Athrun made them he knew that he still had some strength left. He quickly took Athrun's pulse, frowning with concern as he found it weak and thready. His breath was coming in short bursts, although his color was still reasonably good. Suddenly Athrun began to cough. Slowly at first but then they became increasingly violent and soon, he was choking again.

Dearka rolled him onto his side, patting his back as he choked and hacked forcefully.

He made a whimpering noise, and then began to violently cough up a mix of saliva and blood onto the floor. There was a fair amount of blood, Dearka noticed with distaste but didn't draw away from him. He wasn't disgusting nor was he repulsive. He was a friend. A friend that had been abused beyond reason. A friend who needed his help. His body expelled blood and saliva for a good ten minutes until he heaved with no result. Dearka held his hair back as he trembled and then went limp again.

Carefully, Dearka wiped away the blood that trickled from the corner of his bottom lip. He then got up to clean up the mess he had made on the floor while Yzak threw another log into the fire.

"I don't think we can move him?" He muttered softly as he sat beside Yzak by the fire. "He's getting worse."

"Do we have choice?" Yzak replied, his expression grim. "If we don't, he dies. If we do, he might at least have a chance."

"I didn't think Coordinators could get sick," Dearka thought out loud. "They've really messed him up good."

"We'll leave as soon as the sun sets." Yzak announced and glanced up at the owner of the cabin. He hadn't moved since the previous night. "Do you have any sort of transportation?"

The man nodded but said nothing.

"What have you got?"

"A car." The man muttered bitterly.

"We're taking it," Yzak informed him and the look in his eyes warned the man of the consequences should he choose to argue the point. The man hesitated for a second before cursing loudly and pulling the keys from his pocket. With a bit more force than Yzak might have liked, the man threw them at him. He caught them with ease and settled back down beside Dearka.

The two sat in silence by the fire for about two hours, watching the flames as they licked at the outer rim of the fireplace. Neither one wanted to admit it but they were worried. Very worried.

The two perked up when they heard a low groan. Athrun was awake.

Dearka twisted his head around his shoulder and smiled at him. His smile broadened when he saw Athrun's green eyes focus on the blazing fire. Relief in his bright eyes, he hurried over to the stove where they had kept the pot of soup boiling. Quickly, he poured a small bowl full and placed it on a tray.

"Athrun?"

Athrun continued to gaze blankly at the fire before he finally looked up. He managed a small, timid smile when he saw Yzak and Dearka staring down at him and holding out a tray to him. Opening his mouth, he tried desperately to speak to them but found that it required too much air so he chose to whisper a hoarse "Hi." Instead. His vision continually fell in and out of focus which annoyed him to no end as the image in front of him blurred.

"Hey pal, we made you some soup," Dearka was unaffected by Athrun's short response, or at least, he didn't show it as he knelt down next to him and showed it to him. "Feeling any better?"

"He couldn't have felt too bad before," Yzak grumbled under his breath. "If he was well enough to try and blow my head off."

Athrun nodded, closing his eyes.

"Hey!"

The urgency of Dearka's voice caused Athrun's glassy eyes to gradually re-open and he stared vacantly at him.

"Eyes open," Dearka ordered sternly and held out a spoon of soup for Athrun to see. "You have been in an out so much the last couple days we haven't had the chance to get much of anything into your system."

Athrun blinked. He didn't remember awakening. The smell of the soup was most inviting and his stomach knotted in need. He was hungry. Opening his mouth a crack, Athrun watched as Dearka placed the spoon in his mouth and he swallowed.

"How… long…" He mumbled lowly, flinching in pain as his body instantly demanded the ejection of the nourishment. Air, food, it didn't matter as his muscles spasmed and he hiccupped weakly.

"You were out of it pretty much since we broke you out." Dearka replied and grinned at Yzak and then the man in the corner. "Yesterday, you attacked this nice old man here and fired a shot at Yzak. Aside from that though, you've been more or less laid up."

Athrunshivered slightly and coughed, saliva dripping from the side of his mouth but he hadn't the strength to wipe it away. His hair and entire body was damp from sweat and he was conscious enough to know he was running a fever.

"Attacked?" He asked though the words were hardly audible. Swallowing another small spoonful of the broth, he struggled to keep his eyes focused on his friends. "I'm sorry."

Yzak snorted and shook his head. "Don't worry about it," He assured him as Dearka urged him to finish his soup. "You're a lousy shot."

"Hmmm," Athrun found the soup soothed his parched throat and relaxed beneath the blankets that covered him. He sat up a little, his head propped up by a pillow, and leaned forward as Dearka offered him another spoonful.

"Cagalli?' He inquired, hoping that she was ok. He hadn't seen her since he'd been captured and hoped desperately that nothing had happened to her.

"She's fine," Dearka replied and beamed. "She's with Kira and Lacus back at the hotel. We'll be joining them just as soon as the sun goes down. Everyone has been worried sick about you did you know that? Just can't seem to stay out of trouble can you?"

Athrun smiled as Dearka continued to prattle on and on, content to just listen. Already he was starting to feel a little better though his left shoulder was still extremely sore. Still frail, he could at least sit up on his own and find his bearings. His eyes shifted to the stranger and he frowned slightly when the man cowered under his watchful gaze.

"I really attacked that guy?"

Dearka shrugged. "Well, he went after you first. Still, it scared the hell out of us."

Athrun raised an eyebrow and looked up at the silver haired pilot. "Yzak?"

"I wasn't scared." Yzak protested but a jab from Dearka silenced him.

"You dropped like a rock."Dearka snickered but didn't push the issue. Moving to the window, he peered out, taking note of the fact the storm seemed to have finally passed. The world was covered in a fresh blanket of white. The sun was just beginning to make its noble descent and he straightened. He could hear Athrun and Yzak exchanging light shots at one another and his brow furrowed in concern.

"Hey Yzak," He cleared his throat, his expression suddenly becoming extremely serious. When his felt he had his friend's attention he signaled towards the door. "If we are going to do this…"

Yzak clinched his fists at his sides and turned to Athrun. His friend was sitting up though he still looked incredibly weak and Yzak was disgusted by how scrawny he appeared. The sweater they had found for him was two sizes to big and hung loosely over his delicate shoulders and his hair hung over his flashy, green eyes. He really wasn't in much condition to travel far but Yzak knew they couldn't hold out much longer. Athrun needed help. And he needed it fast. Besides, they were in unsafe territory.

"Are you up to travel?" Dearka asked the question that Yzak was pondering.

Athrun blinked before he nodded his head slightly in the affirmative. He seemed somewhat sad though as he dropped his gaze, looking down at the raw abrasions around his wrists from where they had been bound behind his back.

She doesn't love you…

"How did you find me?" He asked suddenly. "How did you know?"

"That's a long story," Dearka laughed awkwardly but stopped when he saw the pained expression on Athrun's face. "We had a hell of a time finding you."

"Hmm," Athrun bit his lip, thinking. "They were going to kill me," He muttered more to himself than anyone around him. "I was so sure I was going to die."

"Oh!" Yzak jolted upright when he remembered the pendant he had found. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out the shiny pink stone that now hung on the broken chain and tossed it over to Athrun. It landed in his lap and Yzak cocked his head in confusion when he saw the startled expression on Athrun's face. "I forgot. I picked this up in your cell – I'm assuming it's yours."

Athrun didn't even hear him. Staring down at the pendant, he reached out from under his blankets and carefully took the pendant in trembling fingers. He ran his thumb along its smooth surface as the horrid memories came rushing back to him, forcing their way into his mind despite his best attempts to block them out.

Do you truly believe that Miss. Cagalli cares about you?

You are stupidly stubborn!

Look at me you little freak!

Look at what your loyalty has brought you!

Real men don't wear jewelry!

Enjoy your last few hours alive!

She doesn't love you!

Dearka and Yzak exchanged puzzled glances when they saw Athrun's eyes suddenly clinch shut, tears gathering beneath his eyelids. He dropped his head and was now quivering faintly. A few stray tears slid down his cheeks down to his chin and his grip around the pendant increased. He held it so tightly that it would surely break if he tightened his hold just a little more.

It wouldn't stop. It would never stop. He kept hearing them. Their voices in his mind. Shouting at him. Yelling obscenities at him. Screaming questions at him and he cringed under their relentless torment. Lurching forward, he buried his head in his hands and choked back a pitiful sob, silently begging them to stop. He didn't have to be brave anymore. He couldn't pretend that what they did to him didn't hurt him. No longer did he have to bit back the feelings that swelled inside of him and so he let them all pour out through his unshed tears.

"Athrun?" Dearka took a step forward, stunned by the open vulnerability his friend was demonstrating. "Athrun… it's ok…"

The two ZAFT pilots stared in awe as their friend whimpered softly to himself. Neither of them knew what to say and so they remained silent. Who were they to judge him when they couldn't even imagine what he had been through?

"Athrun?"

"I'm…" Athrun gulped and forced himself to swallow. His voice was shaking as he shakily raised his head, his eyes puffy and moist. Blinking back the tears that still threatened to fall, he cleared his throat to regain his composure. This wasn't like him. He shouldn't be like this. Gritting his teeth he willed himself to get a hold of himself and mentally scolded himself for almost breaking down in front of his comrades. His trembling fingers still held the pendant firmly as he commanded himself to answer.

"I'm fine." He lied.

Dearka and Yzak nodded. That was a very Athrun-like thing to say and it was obvious that he wasn't being truthful. Still, they chose not to call him out on it. The last thing Athrun needed was some of their innocent jabs and jokes. He would probably take them to heart.

"Well, we aren't out of the clear yet," Yzak announced suddenly. Seeing Athrun so distraught made him uncomfortable and he didn't think he could bare it any longer. "Let's go."

Reaching down, he grabbed Athrun be his good arm and helped him up to his feet. Athrun stumbled, his legs seemingly boneless and it took him a second to regain his balance. Athrun hissed as the world titled and he felt nauseous. He coughed weakly before managing to steady himself, leaning on Yzak for support.

The man watched the trio as they made their way slowly towards the door. Dearka hustled over and wrapped his arm beneath Athrun's armpits to help keep him upright while Yzak opened the door.

"I don't know who you are," The man growled at their backs, his voice steadily rising. "But I hope you get yours!"

Yzak started but Dearka stopped him. Together the three plowed their way through the heavy snow towards the car that the man had said he owned.

"Forget him," He instructed. "Help me get Athrun in here."

"Fine," Yzak moved around and opened the back door to the four person vehicle and helped guide a very unsteady Athrun Zala into the back seat. He misjudged the distance off the ground and his left arm bumped against the door and he groaned. He twisted and tried to get through the door and although Yzak tried to help him, he only made it worse.

"Damn it, Zala," Yzak growled. "Move your foot."

"I'm doing my best," Athrun grumbled and finally succeeded in climbing into the car. "You're not helping."

Dearka rolled his eyes and reached over to pull the seatbelt around Athrun. He directed Yzak to the passenger seat and then dashed around to the other side. As he moved, he used his arm to brush off some of the snow that had accumulated on the windshield of the vehicle. Opening the door, he let himself in and flopped into the diver's seat.

"Who said you could drive?" Yzak demanded but handed the keys over to Dearka as he spoke. They both knew it was not the time to argue.

"Hold on!" Dearka called to Athrun and turned on the ignition. Athrun swallowed to moisten his dry throat and slumped back against the door, resting his head against the window. His eyes began to flutter shut and he coughed faintly.

Yzak heard the small sound and twisted around to look behind him. Athrun was asleep - his limp form sprawled over the back seat. His head hung low and his hair fell over his eyes, concealing them from view. He looked so small, so fragile and helpless sitting slumped over as he was and Yzak could hardly believe he was staring at the boy he had once competed with in ZAFT.

"He's out again." He informed Dearka as the other young man reversed out from the driveway and pointed the car towards town.

"Let him sleep," Dearka replied. "We've got to get Kira, Lacus and Cagalli and then get out of here. It will be a long ride for him."

Yzak snorted and shifted in his seat to get comfortable. At least Athrun was somewhat cognitive and they were no longer turning into popsicles in the merciless hands of winter. Things were definitely looking up.

Neither of them thought to look back to the lone cabin in which they had spent that night. If they had, they would have seen the man inside pick up his phone and speed dial his good friend. The man watched through the foggy window as the car set off for town, his eyes blazing.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Jibril. This is Mik. I have some information that you may be interested in." In a rush the man explained to him how he had stumbled across his three visitors and what their intentions were. He smiled. "You know the hotel Miss. Cagalli is staying at?"

On the other end of the line, Jibril nodded, his expression hardening. "I will find out. We'll meet them there. Thanks, Mik. I'm going to give my associate a call – he'll explain where to find them. Don't worry. We'll get them."

TBC

Gah! The Blue Cosmos are everywhere! Hehehhe. Poor Athrun – at least he was more like himself. Anyway, I will update again as soon as I can. Thanks again to all who reviewed! I love reading them.

The next chapter Athrun and Cagalli FINALLY meet up again… this chapter will be long but hopefully you all won't mind. Please let me know if there's anything you want to see happen ok?

Until next time,

Krilyn

Kageharu Kaco No worries…. Athrun will get… um… worse and then better ok? He'll be alright…he's my fav character! Hurray for Victoria day for letting me have an extra day to work on my story! It would be very satisfying to kill Jibril…

daisukiasu'n'caga: Thanks for the idea about nightmares! Nah, I won't kill Cagalli or Athrun. I promise.

Slightly Sinister Sinestra I don't like writers block. It is evil. Thanks for the advice about stories though – I won't be starting any more till I finish this one.

Cari-Akira: I always figured Dearka and Yzak would be good friends if they were forced in a situation where they had to be. I'm glad you like them. I like the idea of seed mode… I'll use that in my next chapter! THANK YOU!

"…." I know all about rushing… I'm rushing to get this posted as I type lol. I'm happy you are enjoying my story – thanks for the review!

Omi: Glad you like it!

mingathur Supersonic? I would like to be that lo… truth is that I am pretty well already finished this story (minus editing and such) so I'm not really supersonic… I would like to be though hehehe. I like Yzak too… he's an interesting guy to write. More so than Kira (personal opinion) Yup, I put Maloby in to be the messenger. That was my original intent though I'm thinking I might use him more often. Thanks again!