I love all of you guys! You are so sweet to me! I really want to thank Tayna50801 ((I'm so glad you like it! I hope this chapter doesn't dissapoint!))

iamthatplace ((Phew, I thought I was weird about the whole J.T. thing! I sorta have this urge to hit guys that actually laugh like 'hahaha' I want them to find a brain and stop doing it lol. I think Tommy will forever join in on the 'I hate Liam Club' I was starting to warm up to Liam, especially after Hallelujah, and then he was a total douche in the season finale that I could barely look at him. I thought about joining a support group when I.S. went off but then I just threw myself into the FF world and I'm all better lol!))

smileon ((I think everyone should be on silly shit because it just makes life more fun! If I had the chance, I really don't know if I was spank Liam. It would probably be really weird... lol))

Tommy4eva ((my brother routinely makes fun of me about ff lol. And yes, I made everything a dream because I didn't think the characters would be able to rebound after such a Jude whipping, lol. And it leaves the possibility for more dreams!))

Duddley111 ((I'm so glad you love it!))

tommys21 ((lol, I'm really glad you liked it. While I was writing, I was like, how can I top everything I have ever done. And it the outcome was weird/funny lol))

jackjakio ((Don't worry, I memorized the rap myself. I didn't even need to pull up my I-tunes because I knew it all lol. I completely narrate my life. Like when Jude was chocking in Bang Theory, that was how I basically chocked one time. That's what I was thinking the whole time. Minus the Tommy part, which is mildly despressing. Actually it's really depressing! You have my utmost sympathies and wishes of luck on your finals! I just finished mine a week ago and they totally sucked! I'm so glad you like the story!))

Judeh05 ((I think when she goes back the doctor's I'll have to fit in an at least dazed Jude! lol, I love your smilies!))

thatgirlyoucanttrust ((I forsee the liability lol I think I have probably dreamed about smacking Liam's ass and this was my subconscience trying to tell me to make the dream a reality. Except the Caption This thread on DLS has put some scary thoughts in my head about Darius and Liam... oh la la!))

I should put a warning on this chapter: CONTAINS SERIOUS JOMMINESS! lol, who doesn't love Jommy? I totally do! So on with the chapter!

Chapter 4: Forty Licks

"Ah the beauty of sexual harassment in the work place." Spied said snidely as he came between Tommy and I. He is so begging for a nice bruise on his face.

Of course Tommy would be the one inflicting the pain and I would be the one torn between cheering and looking for popcorn and shouting for them to stop fighting. I'm such a bad spectator.

"Jommy, you guys are adorable." Mason cooed as he passed us. Déjà vu anyone? Does Mason realize that he is impossibly redundant?

"Hey! How come Tommy gets his ommy and I only get my J? I don't think that's very fair!" I shouted.

Seriously. It's worse than the whole Brad only getting his Br thing, because I'm the one getting duped. It really sucks. "We could change it if you want." Tommy told me nicely. That look doesn't fool me pretty boy. He totally loves that he gets almost his entire name and I only get a letter.

"It's the damn J!" I said with fury. No really, J totally screws things up. Look at what I have had to deal with:

When I was with Shay: Jay

When I was with Spiederman: Juderman (Ok, I got my whole name there, but it sounds like a screwed up super hero that gets drunk at bars all the time and Superman has to bail his ass out all the time.)

The only time it ever worked for me was when I was with Jamie. First off, no one really cared enough to give us a name and I just called us J squared. I thought that was pretty clever but Tommy always told me to go write something when I would tell him about it. He's such a butt sometimes.

I watched him shift to make himself more comfortably on the couch as his head rested awkwardly along a cushion. I put my hands under his head lightly and persuaded him to move. I held myself against his shoulder while his head came and fell against mine. It reminded me eerily of my birthday. At the thought of that night I felt my stomach twirl, remembering his words.

"Sadie and I... we weren't right." He told me cryptically. Why is he telling me this? And besides why can he even say that? She broke up with him. I was there, she hurled doughnuts and made a scene in G-Major. I even remember throwing the phrase 'oh fritter' about. Except then they got back together and then I talked to Portia and shoved him into a hot tub. That was kinda stupid. I felt my head spin like the Tilt-A-Whirl from the summer carnival while his eyes bore into me.

"Why?" I heard myself ask. I watched the word gloat over to him and all I wanted to do was snatch it back and stuff it back in my mouth.

"You know exactly why." He told me simply. And despite my conflicting thoughts, I knew why. I knew it was me. Because it was always him.

I stirred underneath him and shifted my head so that I could look at him. "I still have your red jackety fleece thing."

"What red jackety fleece thing?"

"The one I took after we got unlocked from the studio space." I saw his face remain blank and I was starting to get annoyed. Are people really as stupid as I perceive them to be? Spied suddenly walked by again with a small chuckle.

"Do you mean the fleece with the black lining? Smells kinda dingy?"

"Yea."

"That's the homeless dude's jacket."

"Which homeless dude?"

"The one me and Kyle adopted."

"What?"

"Yea, he hangs out in the rehearsal space when it's cold out. Actually, he could be a she… it's hard to tell."

"How noble of you. What if he or she set up a meth lab in the space?"

"Then he or she sets up a meth lab in the space and I will be visiting much more frequently. Especially if it's a girl…" Um, ew.

(Spied has become quite desperate though. His fan mail is decreasing by the day and there's this one girl that screams stalker. I'm not even kidding her letters are always the same, but they seem to become creepier every day. Did I mention that she writes every day? Because she does. I remember the one from a few days ago. "Spied! She wrote again." Jamie shouted through the studio and SME and I came running.

"Of course she wrote. She writes every day." Kyle said.

"Shut up." Jamie said defensively.

"I'm gonna go get Pasty." I warned as Spied tore open the letter.

"Read it." Wally pleaded.

"Smell it." Spied told us as he passed around the fourteen pages of hand-written craziness.

"Is that?"

"She likes to call it 'Spied Swagger'." He told us.

HEY! That little bitch, only I get to use that. Well I guess I don't anymore. Whatever. After we had all taken in the odor that was faintly Spied-like he read an excerpt.

"'I know that you can't write back to me. It used to upset me and I would blog about it on my myspace. And then I realized that you are so busy recording the rumored SME album, due to start recording as soon as all contracts and legal affairs are organized, so I don't blame you anymore. This is what a picture of our children will look like. Well I factored in the nose-job you will have to get once we get married but other than that, this is little Regina-George.' HEY! My nose isn't big! Is it Harrison?" He asked with a squeak in his voice and turned to me.

"No. I like your nose." I told him reassuringly.

He nodded his head, but mentioned nothing about the fact that his future child is going to be named after a Plastic. And I know he saw Mean Girls with me. He actually demanded to see it. But I think he was too distracted at the image of Rachel McAdams in a bunny outfit. Whatever, he's gross. He crinkled the paper lightly and held it up to his face before continuing.

"'I found your address on a fan site yesterday. I'm going to come visit. Did you know that I was at every one of Jude's concerts? But not to see her, I hate her. I saw you every night and then I would go home and dream about you. I remember one dream where you came into my room while I was taking a shower and when I got out you were sitting on my bed and then I accidentally dropped my towel-' I'm gonna, uh, skip around." He said nervously and chuckled.

"'I also calculated all steps you took on stage and then figured how many you took in your day-to-day life and with a simple equation I figured how many steps you will ever take in a lifetime. And then I did the same for myself and our numbers match perfectly. We are destined, no one can convince me otherwise. And if they try… well I don't think they will like the outcome. I found the towel you used at the concert in Ann-Arbor this summer. I nailed a screw in my wall and now it's hanging there. I wiped it all over this letter before I sent it to you. It smells like you. And I smell the towel before I go to bed every night. And in the mornings, after I wash my face, I use the towel to dry off. But you scent is running out. I'll have to come see you soon to find a new towel. Or I could just move in with you so that I would wipe you over all the time.' I think that's enough!"

Spied said again and folded the papers up messily and shoved them in his back pocket. Wow those fangirls like it smutty.)

"Ya know what Spied?" I started. I know for a fact that Spied used to have an obsession with his…feces in third grade and I think it may have gone to his head and depleted his brain mass substantially. "What?" He challenged.

"You're making it up." I stated. He looked at me and then stuck his tongue out. I don't wanna see that. Not after I know that it's been in my mouth.

"I am not!" What a baby.

"I have a hard time believing anything you say since you didn't even win the bet you made with Wally that you could wash your hands after peeing for a week."

"I won that!"

"No dude, you actually had to pay me like two minutes later. And they have fans in the bathroom for a reason."

"SHUT UP!" Spied said embarrassedly. Do we always fight this much? We're like Liza and David.

"What did you do this time?" Jamie asked as he settled next to Tommy and I on the couch.

"ME?"

"I smell another SME bloodbath. Do you remember what happened last time?"

"Yes Jammy, I remember."

"What happened last time?" Tommy interjected, but not looking over at us.

His eyes were fixed in front of him and as I turned my head a long low growl rang through the building. I saw Spied immediately release his ninja grip from around Wally's neck, Kyle untangled his hands from Spied's hair and Wally stopped his leg midair, that would have sailed right between Kyle's legs, as everyone turned to watch Pasty.

She was like a raving mad woman while she swung a microphone from the chord, the head trailing a dangerous path in front of her. Spied slowly backed away, while Kyle and Wally just made a break for it.

"Should I be doing something?" Jamie whispered.

Um… I don't really know. I just shrugged, with my mouth hanging open.

"I feel like I'm watching a crossover between Run's House and Hogan Knows Best." I said. "

I don't." Jamie replied, looking at me earnestly. "This is like that episode of Buffy when-"

I just tuned him out right there because he was starting to piss me off. And not because he felt the need to correct me constantly, or that he gave me no smart points. It's because he made me feel totally left out. Am I the only one who didn't jump on the Buffy train? Seriously. I tried to pick up on the third season, but I was completely lost. And I can't be all 'Oh Buffy is stupid' because I honestly have no idea. It makes me sad and puts me in a dark place.

DAMN YOU JAMIE!

"Shut up and watch. Or shut up and do something." I interrupted and saw a look of contemplation sweep over Jamie's face as he sat up and sat back at least three times before he resolved and crept towards his insane girlfriend.

"Pasty…" He coaxed gently.

Wrong!

She flung her head behind her like a rabid animal and bore her teeth. Seriously what is she thinking? "Why don't you put that down?"

Wrong!

Jeez, is Jamie getting stupider? But surprisingly, Pasty let the microphone drop next to her as she continued to advance on Jamie. I guess it was detrimental to the whole 'I'm gonna kill Jamie' thing.

"Do you want to um…" Jamie tried, searching for the words. I know he doesn't run very fast but I think flight would be his safest bet. Really. I don't want to be his eugoogoly. If Zoolander think he's a bad eugoogalizor, he has no idea. I have as much verbal grace as Larry David. "PASTY, look! BLOOD!" Jamie screamed and pointed to the other end of the room.

Wrong!

I'll take dead man walking for 800 Alex.

It seemed like time literally slowed as she thrust herself through the air and latched herself to Jamie. Very violently. Is she high?

"Come on! Don't hate on me!" He shouted. Has he lost all senses? I can't even fathom why that would ever come out his mouth.

Seriously, there is no way one can defend quoting Jenny From the Block. There is nothing that can save him. The only thing that could make this worse for him is if-

"We can get right before the night is up!" He cried desperately and tried to wrench his crazy girl friend off his legs.

Well I was going to say it could only be worse if quoted All I Have, that weird ass single with LL Cool Jay about how she giggles 'right before he puts it down', but this was just as bad. Maybe badder.

Is that a word?

Well I think this mess that Jamie has created calls for a little butchering of the English language.

It's badder.

"Be easy don't make decisions when you're mad." Jamie pleaded as Pasty jumped off and went for the microphone again.

I spoke too soon.

That was badder.

No… that was just horrifying. Has he developped an obsession with her? Is her booty that mesmorizing? Jamie should be locked away. Or his job should be revoked. I'm sorry to say he has lost all credibility and respect I ever held for him. Wait till I tell Kat. And his statement also calls for a:

WRONG!

Pasty looked like an angry, wild boar. I felt Tommy lean over slightly.

"Should we leave?" I looked back at him incredulously.

"Are you serious?" I asked him.

Who would want to miss this? And besides if Jamie needs medical assistance no one can count on SME to do it. He merely nodded his head in mute response.

"What could possibly be better than this?" I asked him. I watched him lean in and suddenly his breath was tickling my ear deliciously.

"I can think of something." Yea, so could I. But I am so not gonna do it with Tommy in a sound booth. Or his office. And if we just started on the couch I think we might get in trouble.

"Shut up and watch Quincy."

"Yes ma'am." He told me. I whipped my head towards him and he shot me a knowing look. When I hit his arm lightly he only raised his eyebrows, maintaining his smirk.

"You talk in your sleep girl." He divulged mysteriously. Whatever, he didn't even know who I was dreaming about.

I was about to say something along those lines to him when I heard Jamie emit the girliest scream ever known to mankind. Seriously it was worse than that guy in Beethoven when he was getting his ass munched off by a little dog.

"PASTY! Don't!" He shrieked and ran away, taking the fight too far for me to walk.

"Jamie you are stupider than a lazy pyro!" Spied shouted from somewhere in the building and we watched all of SME running from the same doorway.

Is it bad that that makes sense to me?

Seriously what could be worse than someone who is not only lazy but also obsessed with fire? That is possibly the worse combination since peanut butter and jelly. Seriously, who even likes that? It tastes like death. Really, if death had a taste it would be the putrid mixture of peanut butter and jelly. I can feel myself gagging at the mere thought. Oh God. That is so bad.

"Should I be worried?"

"Why?"

"Well Liam is locked in his office and Darius is still in that meeting. That leaves me alone in the evil Trinity." Tommy told me.

"Well go get Liam, then it won't be your fault."

"I'm afraid of what I'll find." He told me.

Legitimate concern, but he was being a baby. I looked at him square in the face and then demanded that he help me up.

"The doctor said-"

"At running the risk of angering and insuring the wrath of Dr. House, I don't really care." He sighed and looked my disheveled state up and down before relenting and extending a hand. I clung to it ardently and attempted to walk and yell at him simultaneously.

"Don't look at me like I'm homeless and begging for money. I had an ice skate in my leg. What's your excuse for that fo-hawk?" I asked him through gritted teeth as I attempted to latch onto the wall. I felt him release my hand and pat his gelled hair.

"What wrong with it?"

"Nothing idiot I was just-" I started and let out a shrill cry as I tipped and fell to the floor.

"Oh my God. Girl, I am so sorry." He apologized as he tried to help me up.

"You're so vain. You probably think this song is about you." I recited as I grasped his hand desperately.

"Help me!" I demanded and tried to plant one foot against the ground. I grunted as my knee gave way with pain and I felt Tommy bend down and invade the little space I had to myself.

"Don't be too frisky." I told him on a laugh. But I suddenly felt his arms pulling me up. I let out another small scream as he hoisted me into the air.

I half expected him to throw me over his should like Princess Paleolithic but I felt his arm swoop along my neck as he splayed his hand against my back and cradled me. I looked up at him and smiled softly. It felt nice in his arms, so I let my head loll against his chest languidly.

He walked us through the building while the rhythm of his step-step-breathe-step-step-breathe hypnotized me into a light sleep. I snuggled closer as I felt his head dip along my cheek. His lips pressed softly against my skin while his breath teased me again; I felt his hand slip lower along my back.

His lips lingered on my cheek, their softness tickling me. I shifted lightly at the new arrangement as I leaned up lightly to look at him. I watched his eyes smile back at me and I felt my lips drag me closer to him as I pressed them firmly against his jaw.

"Jude," He said with a hint of huskiness that made me swoon.

"Yep?" I asked as I trailed a string of light kisses along his jaw and wandering up his cheeks as I found my lips at the small patch of skin between his neck and his ear lobe. I smiled wickedly to myself and let my tongue swirl along his skin.

Forty Licks anyone?

I felt his tense immeasurably as a small moan left his lips and splayed itself along my own ear. His grip slacked as his hands fondled the knob on Liam's door. I quickly let my head fall back against his rapidly falling and rising chest.

"He's not here." Tommy informed me hoarsely and I felt myself smile like one of those evil Greek nymphs that always seduce Zeus.

"Really? How convenient." I told him as I felt his grasp loosen completely as he pushed me against one of the walls.

"Very convenient Harrison." He told me distractedly as his lips hungrily took mine. Mmmmm, I missed this. Getting dirty with Tommy in Liam's office?

That is the best 'go-suck-a-hairy-dick' in Liam's face ever. Hmm, I wonder about Liam sometimes…

But not in that moment when I felt Tommy's tongue slip along my lower lip and slide along mine. I plastered my hands against the wall as I felt my knees go completely weak, almost letting me fall in a heap on the floor. I grunted as my grip slipped and Tommy looked up.

He wordlessly assessed the situation and he picked me up again, his hands dancing along my butt, and he placed across Liam's desk. I smiled again and I welcomed back in my arms. Just as Tommy's hand slid along the hem of my shirt and crept upwards the door swung open.

"Ah the beauty of sexual harassment in the workplace." Came Liam's cackling voice. I felt myself raise a finger, poised to tell him something that in any other circumstance would be inappropriate, when I saw someone seething behind him.

"Mr. Harrison?" Tommy squeaked as his hand fled down my shirt and rested at his side. Oh shit.

hmmm, another mini-cliff hanger. I hope you guys liked the chapter and I promise to have the next one out soon! So review, review, review (in no particular order)