Title: Valentine
Author: Nicole Riley
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I never have and I never will so please don't sue.
Spoilers: Anything up to Harm being fired from the CIA.
Summary: Just a little piece for Valentines Day.
Sunday February 14th
1900 Hours
Mac's Apartment
Georgetown
Mac sat on her windowsill staring up at the stars, it was Valentines Day and as it had been for the last few years she was spending the night alone. A book, a mug of hot chocolate and the music flowing from her stereo were to be her only company. She had turned the radio on as soon as she stepped through the door two hours earlier, the silence of her apartment would only make her fall further into her depression. However, the music was not doing it's job in cheering her up, love song dedications only made her remember how alone she really was. The song on at the moment, was bringing tears to her eyes, it made her think of Harm. And as she sat there staring at the moon she let her mind wander back to the happy times they had as the words of Tina Arena filled her apartment.
Wouldn't you know it I've lost my courage
Isn't that funny me lost for words
Not that it really matters cause I know you know
And you would have told me yourself if you could
Remember the first time, we met each other
You were in your world I was in mine
Breaking down the barriers, we broke all the rules
But wasn't it good, wasn't it fine?
While I took for granted, you took your time
Longing for love oh how we tried
It's over now that's understood, but wasn't it good?
Same time
Somewhere between Union Station and Washington airport
It had been three months since he had set foot in Washington, the CIA had offered him assignment after assignment, and he had accepted them all just so he wouldn't have to go back to his apartment…alone. But now he had to go back, he had nowhere else to go, they had fired him. He admitted to himself when it happened that there was only one person to blame, the incident on live television was his fault and his alone. So now he was driving home from the airport, listening to love song dedications on the radio. "You are really pathetic you know that Harm!" saying it aloud didn't make him feel any better. So instead of stewing in self-pity he concentrated on the song playing through his speakers.
'That's me and Mac alright.' He thought to himself 'Meeting in the rose garden that day we were so different, I thought I was seeing Diane back from the dead, and she…she probably thought of me as some stuck up pilot that she would have to deal with as her partner. But I must say we did open up to each other, it didn't take me long at all to tell her about my father, and she told me about her childhood almost without hesitation.' As he remembered the good times they had had, he found himself singing along, '
Longing for love…oh how we tried,
it's over now that's understood.
'God I miss you Mac. I can't let you go like this I have to know…I have to know if there is still a chance for us.' Before he realised it he had exited off the freeway and he was headed for Georgetown.
Mac's Apartment
Georgetown
Mac sat on the sofa, pulled her legs up underneath herself and opened her book, and nursing her hot chocolate in her lap. She let her mind remove itself from reality and be transported in to the fictional world of the characters. Their lives, although sometimes a lot more complicated always seemed to be less emotional. She was reading 'Blow Fly' it was the twelfth and latest book in a series by Patricia Cornwell. It was almost five years ago that she had bought the first three books in the series in an airport on the way to one of her many JAG assignments. She had immediately fell into the world of Dr Kay Scarpetta and agent Benton Wesley, a world of murder and romance. When ever she picked it up her mind seemed to empty itself of all its worries, and she seemed to forget for a while anyway how all alone she was.
Outside Mac's apartment building
It had taken 20 minutes for Harm to pull up outside Mac's place and finally realise where his car had taken him. The light was off in her window but something told him not to turn around and go home, whether it was the little voice in his head or something else he felt entirely, but before he knew it he was climbing the stairs inside the building, and then he was standing at her door.
However he couldn't bring himself to raise his hand to knock. What if she didn't want to see him? What is she had forgot about him and she had moved on?
Inside the apartment
Something in her subconscious made Mac put down the book, she had this feeling that everything would turn out okay for her, that it was her time to be happy. It was like a little voice inside her head telling her that today was the day; it was this voice that told her to get up and open the door. And for no other reason than curiosity she did.
Was it a dream, was she hallucinating or was Harmon Rabb Jr. really standing there staring at her. The look of surprise on his face must have been mirrored her own.
"Ah…Harm?"
"Yeah"
"What are…what are you doing here?"
"I…ah…don't know actually, I was driving home from the airport and my car just sort of…steered its way over here. I can…I can go if you're busy." Not knowing exactly what she was doing Mac nodded as she tried to digest the fact that he was really there, when she finally snapped out of it she realized he had gone and she had to chase after him. Stopping him with a hand on his arm at the top of the stairwell, she apologised.
"Please don't leave, I'm not busy. It's Valentines Day and I'm at home…alone, I'd really like some company."
He smiled at her and she was lost in the deep blue of his eyes. "I'd love to keep you company, Mac."
They both turned then and Harm followed her in to her apartment. "Coffee?" Mac asked him before he could get a word out.
"Thanks"
Harm sat down on the sofa and picked up the book that Mac had discarded. Over the past few years he remembered Mac reading many books by this author, he had never read them himself. The look on her face when she was reading was of complete contentment, she seemed to forget where she was, she would smile, laugh and cry and be completely oblivious to all those around her. He was browsing through the last few pages when Mac came back with the coffee.
"Don't tell me what happens I haven't finished it yet."
He put down the book and took the mug from her that she was holding. "Thankyou!"
They sat for a while in silence, both not knowing what to say to the other, they had so much to say to each other but neither knew where to begin.
"Harm?"
"Mac?" They said in unison.
"You go first." Mac said to him, as she still hadn't decided what she was going to say she had just needed to break the silence
Harm put his coffee down, and turned to face her. "Sorry I haven't called or written since I've been gone, I needed to think and I couldn't do that if…if you were still…right there."
"…and now?" Mac was confused, ever since she had opened the door she had noticed something about him. He had changed; he now seemed so quiet and withdrawn, like he had stopped fighting for life.
"I guess now…No…I know now that I am done with thinking. I am sick of my head always taking control of what I really feel, and for the last six month, I've let my head control my thoughts. I know that may sound stupid, but I feel like I have been thinking too much. I have thought about everything I have done, nothing was spare of the moment. Until I came here tonight, I didn't think about it, I just did it, and that is probably why I made it. I didn't let my brain give me 100 reasons not to…well not until I made it to your door anyway. I probably would have turned around and walked away if you hadn't have opened the door when you did." Mac was watching him and listening intently, she noticed every muscle in his face, every movement of his lips and the emotion in his eyes. "When I left JAG six months ago I wanted to forget everything and start again, I wanted to forget the Admiral, Bud and Harriet, and I wanted to forget you. And I tried, god how I tried but…as hard as I did, every time I closed my eyes you were there, and my senses made me think you were there, I could smell your perfume I could reach out and touch your face. And it was like you were really standing in front of me. And all of that made me realise something…and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't forget you or the way you made me feel when I was near you. Sarah…I can't…I can't live without you in my life. I wanted to I really did but I couldn't…I can't and I don't want to any longer. I understand if you don't feel the same way. And if you don't I'll leave now and never mention it again, but if you do, I promise to stay with you forever and never leave you for the rest of our lives."
Mac sat there staring at him; every time she went to open her mouth and speak nothing would come out. She was holding tightly to his hand so he couldn't leave while she was gathering her thoughts. In the end the only thing that her brain would let her say was, "Happy Valentines Day Harm!"
"Does that mean you want me to stay?"
All she could do was nod as he lowered himself towards her and their lips met in a kiss that was full of promise for the future.
Pulling away from him Mac looked up into his eyes, "I missed you Harm!"
"I missed you to Sarah!"
Harm pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arm around her holding her tightly.
"So are you going to come back to JAG?" Mac said with a slight giggle from her place against his chest.
"Hey, let's just take one step at a time shall we."
The End