Ok, please don't hate me. Please? Pretty please? I was kinda stuck with this chapter for a while and then my brother's engagment party came up faster than I had realized and the party-planning bug seemed to bite everyone in my family's ass. I was stuck cleaning and buying and decorating and what-not, plus volley-ball conditioning started this week. I'm increasingly competative because there's this other girl on the team, who I kinda hate and so I've been practicing and running and all that jazz.

It's not really that fun so I made myself sit down and write this chapter. Nothing too, too, too juicy. Just some good-old fashioned Jommy lovin'. Except I added a little twist at the end. I'm not sure if I'll work it into the plot. It's kinda up in the air right now.

Anywho, randomness because I just miss rambling to you guys. I have found a new obsession, since IS is on the off-season and whatever, and it is: Life with Derek. Quite a fun little obsession I have going for myself, I really love the fics I've been reading. I totally recommend going over to their category and checking a few out. And watching the show. Because the actor who plays Derek is pretty hot. Actually he's really hot and I just get sucked in when there are hot guys involved. I can't help it hehe.

Hey, more randomness. I'm pretty sure that I stopped Bang Theory at 14 chapters.Maybe13, I'll have to go check, but woohoo we passed a milestone! I reallyhave to thank you guys for sticking with me during this ridesofar, it's been fairly insane. But really,your wonderful support really keeps this story going and we have to thank you. The we is me and the story. I decided that I'll make it semi-human since I'm perputally thinking about it.

I'm pretty verbose tonight because I OD'ed on VH1 and dark chocolate. And don't mess around with that velvety darkness, it's hardcore. Like beyond belief. Actually my stomach kinda hurts, but really I'm a surivor. I don't know why I feel the need to break out in Beyonce lyrics but in this chapter I busted out a few JT lyrics from his new single or whatever. I remember the era that I would have died to meet NSync, I'm not even kidding you. And I'm a little heartbroken over Lance. He was my favorite for the last two months and I always maintained the notion that I would marry him, but I guess I can't. I dedicated my myspace to him for a few hours and then I felt stupid so I changed it. I think his boyfriend was a constetant on Amazing Race or something.

Before I continue any farther, I must thank :

NotAContrivance for the awesome shoutout in chapter 30! I love knowing that people love my stories hehe.

Tommy4eva ((Damn him and his sneaky dance moves! I am determined to teach myself the moonwalk. I'll tell you how that goes, but I'm pretty sure it won't. I'm so glad you like the story!))

Tayna50801 ((lol, Tommy might have to take you up on that kiss hehe. I'm so glad you liked it!))

Judeh05 ((Oh, the wondrous images of Tommy shirtless, in any kinda of car. But I could totally see him shirtless and ripped, in a truck with lumber in the hatch after he chopped down trees all day in the hot Sun. Too much? Yes. Too stalkerish? Yes. Hehe, but I love it that way. Tason…that is extremely intriguing, I really won't lie. Except then I would be outraged because in the end, I want Tommy to be straight. And with me lol. But if the press thought he was gay then his whole fan base would think he was gay and then I would really have him all to myself. Well I would share him with you since it was your idea. But we would have to keep it on the down low lol. I have a confession, I never saw Failure to Launch. I just saw all the previews. I really wanted to and I think it looked semi hilarious and Matthew is hotter than the surface of the Sun so that's a reason in itself. There is a reason The Wedding Planner is one of my favorite movies of all time lol. I can definitely supply an ice cream cone for you and Tommy. The kiss sounds even better lol. Actually I would never eat ice cream again if I could kiss him lol. I'm obsessed lol.))

Alexzgirl1 ((I am so jealous! Pure isn't being released in the US at all. I don't see why, its not healthy to keep Tim away from his crazed fan lol. You're very right, February is better than no season three at all. I can't even imagine how much I would cry if we didn't get season 3. Jamie is so unstable that my head spins. I hated him from NSTB until Miss World. He was so mean in I Fought the Law that I really felt the need to kill him off. Oh I love Little Italy's and Little Venice's, the atmosphere is the best I could even imagine and the food is unbelievable! Hehe, I'm so glad you have it in Germany, I feel bad for anyone who doesn't have one/been to one! I so cannot see Darius as a Bibi but now I must go rent that movie. I can't help it, I kind of stalk the whole cast hehe. Random days are so fun lol.))

Duddley111 ((I'm so glad you love it! I really appreciate your reviews so much! Actually they leave me with a dopey smile, but who's counting hehe.))

Latisha C ((I really don't understand why subways stink so much. I think people need to just not ride a few days before I do because it always smells like ass and sweat and pee and it's disgusting. Failure to Launch did have Matthew in it, I don't even try to spell his name I just pass out from all the exertion on my brain, but I didn't see it. I am so wishing I had now. Really because I'm in love with Matthew and because I heard it was funny. I'm all for laughing, really I am. Rhubarb is, I'm guessing, what the devil has to taste like. Rhubarb is the devil. I'm pretty sure Sadie will have more stories about Tommy, really because I love emasculating him to no end lol. I'm so glad you liked the update so much!))

romanma32 ((I think my obsession with the inner workings of pop culture is a little unhealthy. I find myself scanning to VH1 immediately and pausing to watch The Fabulous Life Of… People spend so much money that it's an obscenity. And I'm obsessed with The World Series of Pop Culture and really, I know nothing. I know like one third of the answers lol. I really wanted to go in depth on the Quincy pad but I figured that Jude is tired this chapter and she can snoop in the next one hehe. I always pictured his house lavish and super modern and clean. Other than that I really have to plan it out lol. I feel slightly bad for Jamie but somehow I can't muster that much sympathy for him because things always work out for him at the end of the day. I'm glad you liked the update! ))

smileon ((I like to torture Jamie. There has to be a reason that he goes after girls who are either so vindictive/not into him/crazy and I'm just blaming Jude and Spied during his childhood lol. I think sarcastic Tommy is incredibly hot and there needs to be more of him because he's rarely sarcastic in the show. Actually I just want more of him period. I think there should be a Tommy spin-off and it's just clips of him all the time. Speaking…maybe. For time to seldom time hehe.))

xTamarax ((Enzo/Vinny is currently up for grabs. But I'll keep him safe just for you hehe. The MasterCard are obscenely addictive, I find myself putting my own situations into MasterCard scenarios. And I always have to tweak something to make it more fun, like the movie less sucky and the guy less ugly. The Break Up is the worst movie ever I tell you. It should be kept away from the masses. I'm kinda running low on plot ideas, so I'm pretty much going to drag it out as long as I can. I'm thinking next chapter is the Christmas song recording, shopping for dress…and then my thoughts stop lol. But you can definitely put that call to Dr. House on hold. Unless you don't want to because he's so handsome. I think I'm feeling a little woozy right now lol.))

scott4eva ((It's a little thing people call insanity lol. Some things I pull for my actual life, other stuff I just fathom and after I write I sort of wonder what's the matter with me. Lol, I kid. But I am so glad you like it!))

VilandraofAntar ((I have such an array of cousins that I hate so much, it has so be a sin against humanity. A 17 year-old who whines like a 3 year-old, you have my sympathies. I kinda tune my family out and sing songs to myself. I think I was singing a really dirty one just like my little form of rebellion. I heart My Cousin Vinny, I think everyone should see that movie, in the whole world. I'm so glad you liked the updates!))

hmgirl8192 ((Aw, I'm sorry you got sick! I don't think there is anything worse than getting sick during the summer and on vacation! I hope you're feeling better. If it were the school year, I would give you a few tips to lengthen an illness. Not that they actually work, but I like to think they do. I have the same situation, my parents love the Sopranos. I really have a choice, to either watch that with my parents of baseball with my younger brother. I can't really demand they change it because it was start a riot lol. I got sorta hooked and then there was just too much violence to be enjoyable lol. I would love to really see what the writers come up for Tommy's family what with the baby drama and such. It's crazy lol, I just really really hope it's not his daughter lol.))

latex-and-steel ((Aw, I'm so glad you liked Bang Theory too! I vote insanity, life is always much more fun like. I have a pair of crazy glasses if you'd like lol. Lol, I'm so glad you like my stories so much! Oh and I thought of a quote for you and it just slipped my mind…damn it! Oh wait, I remember: Speak of the Copper Tone devil. Hehe, I love that line.))

pixiestix16 ((Dance Off Pants Off is possibly the meanest/funniest show on Earth. I think my brother tuned into the same episode of you and he had to tell me all about for hours. And then he imitated the dance. Gross. Silent laughter is the most painful thing in the world and most of the time I can't make myself be quiet enough and I burst out really really loudly. And it's usually when someone is yelling at me and then they get even angrier and then the situation is so not funny and I can't see an end to my laughter. It's a vicious cycle. Hehe, marvy, I love that word. New favorite word! I can't stop the dirty thoughts that come with I think of Failure to Launch, where else is my mind supposed to go? I am in such a gutter. Kwest is a font of info, the whole Frozen thing for instance. Well that bit Jude in the ass. Big time, but he meant well lol. I'm so glad you heart my story lol!))

MelMel8215 ((I'm so glad you like it! Thanks so much for the review!))

You guys are my rocks and I am devoted to you forever. I am not even kidding. Anywho, I really promise to stop now and get on with the chapter. But btw-I tried to make it a little longer in usual to compensate for the wait.

Chapter 14: You Can Play These Songs With Chords

"I Am Not My Hair, Quincy." Konvict remix, bitch. Sorry, I think I'm a thug when in reality I'm just an outpatient.

"I realize that, but I was just wondering." He told me as the elevator pinged at the third floor.

I seriously didn't know that elevators still actually did that; I thought it was just in old movies. And movies with crap ass plot lines that always force the main characters together in an elevator and they fight or there's obscene sexual tension and the director tries to make a point of something and he puts in that annoying ding! that disrupts the uptight atmosphere that always ensues in every scene with an elevator and I jump out of my seat. And then people are like Jude, what is wrong with you? And I have to come back with something witty or mean or witty and mean, which I do without realizing sometimes. And when I can't think of anything but Will Ferrell jabs, I feel pressured to come back with such a burn that they will never think twice about fearing all things Jude Harrison.

But I digress…who's surprised here? I will hit whoever raises their hand; seriously it will be painful. I slumped back, letting my head fall against the mirror at the fond of the compartment, contemplating his words.

Why had I dyed my hair? "Well let me counter your question with another: Why do you ask?" I posed, trying to tiptoe my way around the question until I had moved us so far away from the topic that he wouldn't remember that he asked me. I am so sly that it's profane.

"What a nice little subject change. Well played Harrison, well played." Well, duh, I'm not going to tell him because he was basically the reason I changed it.

Well I changed it on tour, but that was only because first I had dyed it with Kool-Aid because Spied said it would a bonding thing, even though I was the only one with purple-y hair.

(Wally said that Kirby wouldn't be too happy about his change without prior consultation and Kyle was plastered his ass off from wine coolers and I didn't want to smell his drunk-boy breath).

And then I got a screaming phone call from an outstandingly irate E.J. (previous to her departure slash absence thing, which lasted like five or six months before she was back like a raging bull in a china shop) and she asked what the hell was on my head. And then I told her to get a new TV because there was nothing wrong with my head. And then…I may have called her old and told her to get her eyesight checked and then hung up.

And I had to fix it; so SME and I all went to a local drugstore, (Which had to be one of the sketchiest places I have ever been in, besides the rehearsal space. Some weirdo told me he was the night manager and that all females entering after nine o'clock had to take their tops off for the security camera and then some guard jumped on him and they fell into a heaping mess) then I didn't know which color matched my real hair and I picked the wrong bottle. But I really liked my hair when it was a lighter red, it didn't remind me so much of a stop sign and it didn't hurt my eyes when I woke up. Whatever.

I looked over at Tommy to see him mocking lightly, pressing his fingers to his palm in an inaudible clap. Spied did that for like two years because he thought it was the funniest thing this side of a mountee's ass when really he was just a pompous arse. I like saying arse, it's going into my arsenal of hurtful words. I really love how mean I am; it gives me a little bit of joy in my life. I felt him looking at me for a response to his first question, but I have new for you buddy: that is one thing I will not divulge…

If he doesn't stop that clapping I am gonna hit him with a golf club. And then I just might laugh and throw him into the docks and let Pauly do his job for once, instead of terrorizing his crippled aunt who posed as his mother his whole life when, in actuality, his mother was a nun. I need to step away from the TV and never look back.

Unless of course Pauly doesn't show up because he wants to disrupt Tony in during his time of physical strain and Tiger Woods comes in his place. But instead of Tommy getting whacked, Tiger will just beat me to death in the name of all things golf and then I will forever regret the day that I misused a scared golf club. Have I mentioned that I am in search of a physiatrist with deep knowledge of Freud's teachings? I think that is the only way I can be helped.

"I am a master at many things." I told him with a wiggle of my eyebrows. Yes, I am the master of double entendres; I think an awards ceremony is in the works. If I am not the guest of honor and Spied is, I will never cease to throttle him. And if Tommy chooses to be a perv and take the suggestive side of my double-edged comment, those are his words for a priest. His Confessions.

DAMN YOU USHER!

I can't escape him ever, either I'm thinking of his songs or being compared to his abs…which isn't such a bad thing but whatever.

Tommy chuckled lightly and let his hands droop over my covered shoulders as I felt his fingers dance at the collar. "We could totally pull a Merder right now." I told him as I watched a four illuminate on the wooden panel above us. I felt Tommy look over at me with a puzzled look. He totally needs to get with the Grey's Anatomy program or he will never get any ass. Seriously. "Meredith and Derek." I told him slowly and watched realization dawn over his features as a smile broke out. He opened his mouth again; I could already hear his suggestively tempting proposition so I stopped him.

"I was kidding. I'm not gonna make out with you in an elevator."

"But I could make out with you."

"That's still mutual."

"Well then you just stand there and let me have all the fun."

"Uh…no." I told him with a laugh as I suddenly felt him turn to face me.

Another florescent number lit up and flashed within the space around us as the final ping told us we were at his floor. I watched his hand trail away from my shoulders, reaching towards the small box, which housed that special little red button.

"Do not press the emergency button if you plan to get anywhere with me tonight." I told him lightly as a slid out of his grasp and stomped a foot across the threshold to stop the doors from closing. "Come on, show me around." I prompted as his head rolled around his neck languidly before he followed suit.

I flittered half way down a long hall, the overwhelming temptation to play The Penis Game tugging away at my resolve before he grasped my arm to stop me. "It's right here." He grunted, slamming a key into the lock.

"Come on, fancy apartment building, door man, ass-kissing valet but you can't get a decent lock." I asked as he swung the door open and held his arm out with a flourish, inviting me in.

"No just a little distraction. I didn't want you to scream about male genitals around my neighbors."

"Hmmm, how did you know? You in my head or something Quincy?"

"I could be somewhere else." He told me sneakily, edging in the comment he had missed out on before.

"Well played Quincy. I tip my hat." I told him cheekily, I guess the student has surpassed the teacher. Except that isn't true because I have at least ten more Aces up my sleeve. I intend to use them to their full extent too. I have a few Liam jokes that may get a rise out of him and may get me kicked out of his apartment. I slipped my coat off my shoulders before dangling it from my fingers for him to take.

"Did I suddenly become a piss boy?"

"I dunno. Did you piss yourself?"

"No."

"Did you clean up someone else's piss?"

"No."

"Then you're not piss boy on any real terms. If that's an endearing family nick name you're particularly fond of then…" I trailed off with a wide grin as he took my coat from my hand and tromping to a closet near the door.

"Tour?" I prompted, leaning against the frame of the closet as he took the care to hang my coat carefully on a plushy, padded hanger. "Please?" I added.

"Well when you ask so nicely,"

"You would never refuse." I finished for him.

"Don't you wanna change first?"

"That's the line I get? Are all your Boyz Attack! lines all worn out?"

"I never used lines!" He scoffed back.

I really thought about unleashing the dirtiest look I possibly muster but I'll just safe that for a more dire time. Like when he's…making fun of me or something. I just shot him an I-don't-like-the-smell-so-I-won't-like-the-taste-of-this-shit-that-you-are-trying-to-feed-me as a sigh flowed past his lips heavily.

"Well I changed them a little for each girl."

"I believe the term is groupie. But you are my good little cub scout, aren't you? And don't worry, I'm sure you'll be able to use those lines soon enough." He shot me a quizzical look and I thought about playing the oh-how-drool but I didn't have the energy. "Haven't you heard? Justin is bringing SexyBack."

"Don't even start with him."

"I'm assuming he means that sexy is back for all former boy-banders. The bandana will rise again, mark my words and his lyrics." I pronounced, merely receiving a scoff/chortle thing in response. What? He doesn't believe me? "Dirty babe. You see these shackles, baby I'm your slave. I'll let you whip me if I misbehave." I shouted through the house but quickly silenced myself.

I'm sure you are marveling at that feat but I was starting to wonder why I could possibly remember the lyrics. And besides Tommy's apartment is…very worthy of draw dropping and silence.It's the kind of celebrity homes the MTV producers had in mind when the hatched the baby: Cribs.

That show makes me a little sick for the gang of celebrities that spend their royalties before they even make them, on golf carts with revved up engines. CoughAARONCARTERCough. And then I really want a golf cart with a buzzing engine so I try to get Darius to get me my own TV show. And when he exclaims about what a great idea it is, I immediately snap back to reality and change the channel to VH1, or Comedy Central if I missed my John Stewart fix.

I stood still in reverence, my arms dangling limply at my sides kind of like Amanda Bynes and her ape-ish arms sorry that was mean, which is most certainly due to such an abode when he tugged on my arm.

"Lemme show you the balcony." He coaxed lightly while I stared at the engulfing television.

"Have you seen your TV?" I asked in a light whisper.

"No, I haven't actually." He told me, with a tone that sounded suspiciously like the male version of my witty facetiousness.

"Sarcasm doesn't really go with what you're wearing." I informed him as he nodded lightly with a small laugh.

"I'll shelve that back in the archives." He told me. Um, hello that was useful information that should be at the forefront of the daily mental notes to himself.

I wonder if he leaves himself mental notes. I do. See, I'll just mental scrabble on a Post-It right now. Note to self: Get the pretty pink Post-It notes and stop buying the generic yellow ones.

"Come on." Tommy said to me, shaking me from my ever-going thoughts and held a hand out for me to grasp. I looked at his outstretched palm and as I laid my own in it I saw his towering over and engulfing my hand. I looked up at Tommy, who was merely inches away from me by now as he smiled down at me warmly and curled his hand so that it cupped mine protectively. A warm shudder passed over me as he led me up a winding staircase.

Hmmm, I wonder if I'm in love with him again.

That would put a damper on my little I-hate-Tommy-more-than-Amy-Fisher-hates-Joey-Buttafuco-only-I-don't-posess-a-gun thing I had going. I guess the name doomed the mission from the start. Far too long for anyone to remember.

Note to self: Make pithy titles for plans of action/hatred and suchness.

Note to self: Is suchness a word? Check in Word at home.

Home. Uh-oh. I wonder what's happening there. I guess I should wonder what's going down there. Gross.

I looked up from the staircase to see us passing one platform that obviously led to his bedroom. And his bed. And his…ok I'm gonna stop. On the walls across from the staircase, there was a series of expansive windows, unadorned my curtains and frills, the night sky visible for miles. White paint glistened on the walls, against the soft moonlight that streamed through the windows. I touched a hand as the stucco bumps met my fingers tips.

Hmmm, I wonder if he would let me engrave me name in here. That would be awesome. The deep maroon carpet padded against the soles of my feet and as I looked below us, I saw the alcove of his kitchen peeking out, with the living room engulfing the rest of the bottom floor.Wait a minute, who has a multiple levels in their apartment except for Frasier's brother, Niles? I think if he went a little loosey-goosey he could be hot. Not Frasier, I mean Niles.

There was a still calm over the apartment, I had a feeling it was yet to be broken. Ever. I think I've got me a noise-virgin apartment. See my little play on words there? Sorry, I just watched We Got Us A Pippi-Virgin! on ABC Family. You know how they re-run those Gilmore Girls episodes at 5. I made Tommy and Kwest watch an episode with me once. That was the day the Gilmore almost died.

"Why did they name the episode that?" Kwest called out loudly.

"Did you suddenly loose the ability to modulate your voice?" I snapped at him.

"Sorry." He apologized with his head down before flashing me a pair of puppy dog eyes.

"You're lucky I love you or I would have to stab your eyeballs out for trying to pull that on me." I warned him as the opening scene played in front of us.

"Why is the ceiling falling on them?" Tommy asked as if he were a ten year old in the middle of sex-ed class.

"I'm pretty sure you'll find out." I grumbled as I turned the volume up. Minutes went by without any questions as I felt myself relax and slump against the couch.

"Why doesn't she want to spend time with her mom?" Kwest asked.

"Kids are so ungrateful these days. I mean her mother offered her a lovely spa weekend and she barely accepted. And she when did, it was not appreciative or grateful at all." Tommy spat out sounding disgusted.

"Do you have a child?" I asked him.

"No." He answered quickly and frantically. "Why? Did you hear something?" He questioned seriously with a hitch in his voice.

"I think you and Sadie need to have a serious talk." I told him with a malicious grin on the inside. Kwest and I watched him blanch at the prospect before he scurried to find his cell phone.

"I think she's here with Portia." I called out in a singsong voice, pointing to the top floor where they had been for the past hour and a half. He is so perceptive.

"Sadie!" He called out, stretching each syllable as if he were being sucked into a time/space continuum and his mouth was getting pushed backwards and his tongue was flying out of it. Like Jamie that one time on Space Mountain. If he starts to cry, I'll just have to call him Jamie Sr. I don't think he would like that.

The next fifteen minutes passed peacefully until Tommy came bounding down the stairs with a sort of murderous look in his eyes before he screeched my name. "Tommy?" I responded weakly, hoping that I was forming something of innocence on my face. His face softened for a moment before a flare shot up in his eyes and an evil grin etched itself on his lips. He was like The Grinch. "Uh-oh Cindy Lou Who." I muttered to myself as he took a seat next to me, rejoining the Gilmore Girls fest.

"Whoss ist that?" He asked me, almost slurring his words from talking so fast. "Isthatherboyfriend?" He asked, his words picking up speed. "IthoughtshewasdatingDean. Didn'tyoujustsaythatshelovedDean?" Ok wait; I need to decipher that before I get back to him.

Is that her boyfriend?

I thought she was dating Dean.

Didn't you just say that she loved Dean?

Oh! I don't see the need to speak so fast. "No. That's Jess. Yes. She is dating Dean. Sorta. She's kinda in love with Jess too." I answered not wanting to miss Jess' rant about how Dean towers. I watched as a look suddenly swept from Tommy to Kwest as they smiled devilishly to themselves. On the screen, Jess let out one last protest at Dean before walking away.

"Ok, I'm going. Look, man, I really was just dropping off some food; so don't get all West Side Story on me, ok?" Kwest let out in a puffed up tone with a deep sneer on his face.

"Do you wanna…come in?" Tommy let out a shrill voice right in my ear, imitating Rory.

"What the hell is going on?" Kwest screamed in the same tone but replaced his sneer with a scowl. How charming. He is never going to get married.

"Now I know you eat fast, but this is a lot of food to put away that quickly, even on your best day." Kwest continued, skipping the Paris dialogue.

"Shut up Kwest." I growled. They are going to ruin this episode and possibly even the show.

"Ok, so he didn't just drop it off-" Tommy shouted again in an obscenely exaggerated tone that I'm guessing was to emulate a female. I am going to sucker punch him right in the mouth.

"You told me you were doing laundry-"

"I was."

"And now, you're here with Jess?" Kwest roared loudly, making my flinch.

I really thing there is something wrong with my inner ears now. If I cannot balance myself any more, Kwest is volunteering himself for the position of my human crutch. Forever.

"And Paris!" Tommy squealed right back. Kwest can have my right, Tommy gets my left.

"Jess, Rory, Jess!" Kwest continued on his angry tirade. As Dean Forester.

What the hell did I do in my past lives to have the inflicted upon me now? Really, did I kill someone or did I…eat people. I really would love to know so that I can atone for whatever the hell I did.

"I swear, I didn't-" Tommy started, complete with frustrated hand gestures.

"You didn't what? You didn't know he was coming over?"

"I didn't."

"And you also didn't know he was going to stay, right?"

"It just happened."

"How does this just happen?" Kwest screamed after real Dean finished breathing like a mad man on TV. He looked over at Tommy, who shot up like a bullet as Kwest mirrored his actions a second later. It was like an impromptu show down.

They are getting way too into this.

"Well…he was, and the diner was, the diner was… and I," Tommy stuttered out.

"And you what? Say something!"

"Stop yelling!" Tommy screamed with a gusting falsetto, and I'm pretty sure he had managed to make himself cry. I'll reiterate: they are getting way too into this.

"You totally lied to me!" Kwest screamed in Tommy's face.

"I didn't." Tommy yowled back.

I'm leaving.

This is not funny anymore.

It never was.

I am not enjoying this.

I got up from the couch and purposefully made my way between the two, breaking the heated fight and stomped back to the studio. "Oh come on, Jude! You can be Paris!" Tommy called out. Not funny. Instead of turning around I continued on my warpath back the studio, flashing the naughty finger to the two crazies behind me.

Half an Hour Later…

I crooned out the last chorus repeat, slipping my headphones off to look at Tommy and Kwest, waiting for directions.

"Jude." Tommy said seriously, looking at me ever more seriously.

"Uh, yeah?" I questioned skeptically, shrugging my shoulders.

"Rory wouldn't lie, right?" He asked. He looked over at Kwest who leaned towards the mic.

"No, Rory wouldn't lie." He assured us and I huffed indignantly into my own mic.

"And I thought something was actually wrong. Stupid me." I told them in the most irritated tone I could muster.

He continued the trudge up the stairs and I felt the need to invade the silence. I'm just kinda wondering if he can walk and talk at the same time. If he can't…well then we will both sail to our demise down his stairs. That would suck.

"You aren't even going to offer me some wine or impress me with your worldly belongings."

"I don't have any wine."

"Not even from a box?"

"And, would I be able to win you over with a few little trinkets?"

"Not really. Unless you're willing to part with said trinkets and then I would love to see my future possessions." I told him and as he turned to face me I flashed him a beaming smile.

"Come on." He said with a grin, stopping at the top step and waiting for me to catch up. Once we were level, my bare feet continued to press into the soft carpet as he slipped a hand to the small of my back.

Ok mister, do you have a fetish or what? I've really only heard of foot-fetish guys. One time this guy came to my house and he said he was selling shoe magazines and he tried to get my mom to take her shoes off, saying that he would measure he foot. Then he got a boner when she tugged her slipper off, revealing a bare foot. My dad had to chase him away. Well actually the weird guy kinda …waddled away because of his engorged penis. But yeah, same concept.

And it always reminds me of penguins when I think of that guy, and I just loved March of the Penguins even though the males eat the dead fetus eggs or whatever. That was really disgusting and Spied told me later that his dad ate his little brother.

"You don't have a little brother."

"I know." He told me cryptically and held up a cupped hand and pretended to salt a non-existent piece of food.

"THE SPIEDERMANS EAT BABIES!" Kat screamed down the hall, shoving a space between Spied and I.

I trailed behind him, but staying as close as possible to his warmth, while he slid a glass door aside. He stepped over, allowing the views of all the span of Toronto bombard me. I sucked in a diminutive breath, letting it flourish in my lungs before blowing it back out. Its shadow swirled before my lips, causing a whirlwind of cold air mixing with my hot breath in front of my eyes. I pattered out on the balcony, the cold concrete pounding against my feet, shocking me into discomfort for a moment. I turned my head a little to look back at him, my eyes wide with awe.

"It's gorgeous." I told him as lights twinkled in my peripheral vision, each one mirroring the beam of a star I couldn't see. He sidled up next to me, pulling me into an embrace and trapping all my warmth in with his.

"I know." He whispered to my hair as a hand made its way to my cheek, smoothing my skin over delicately.

"Don't even tell me you're looking at me right now."

"What if I were." He challenged light, a smile in his voice.

"Then I would have to banish you to the world of Down with Love." I told him as I tore my gaze from view.

It's really not every day, night, well whatever God I'm like grammar patrolling myself, that I get to see this.

With his arms around my waist and my own hanging loosely around his neck and my cheek pressed against his chest, I looked out at the night from my little bubble. My little Tommy bubble. How is it that I love the sound of that? It's immensely, horrifyingly, almost degradingly sad. But whatever, I love it. I looked up at him for a moment before a shiver flitted callously down my spine from the wintry air.

"I'm cold." I complained lightly, he wrapped his arms around me more tightly, pulling me even closer.

"Better?" He whispered, dipping down to my ear and letting his breath bubble against my skin.

"Much better." I verified. I turned my head slightly; capturing his gaze he captured my lips. He pressed his own feverishly against mine, inhaling the night into his sense.

I secured my hands around his neck and pulling his lips closer to mine, not letting an inch of breath between us. A hand traveled upwards and wound into my hair while the other cradled a cheek and his lips dipping against the fevered skin on my neck. I let out a soft moan, a breath escaping with it as the wind caressed my small moans, hushing them with its whistle.

Unknowingly, I arched my neck back as he softly and tantalizingly sprinkled kisses along my throat. His lips pressing against each inch of exposed skin and claiming every millimeter as his own. My lips grew impatient and jealous, aching for his touch again so I complied as I dipped my head, pulling myself away for a moment. I grasped his lips again, as I twined a leg around his and pulling him flush against me once more.

Much, much better.

We stood together for a few moments more when I got a sudden flash of P. Diddy in my brain. Please don't ask why, he controls all my bodily systems. My auto-immune system, my neurological system-y thing or whatever it is, my circulatory system, my digestive system, my endocrine system, my respiratory system, my musculatory system, my nervous system, my cardiovascular system, my cardiopulmonary system, integumentary system, my lymphatic system, my skeletal system, I would say my urinary system but he doesn't really control my bladder so whatever. He rules me.

I broke away from Tommy slightly, looking at him full in the face. "Hey Tom." I started with a saccharine smile, easing my hands more comfortably on his back.

"Yea?" He asked with an inhale. A satisfied smile purred over his lips as he bent down to kiss me lightly.

"What time is it?" I asked against his lips. I heard him huff, expelling his breath across my lips and making them sizzle from the heat, as he broke away to look at his watch. He scrutinized it for a moment in the dim light of the stars and moon before he looked up, slightly irritated.

"Why?" He asked me. "Well I was just wondering if I it was…too late for me to catch Making the Band 3?" I finished hurriedly with a shy smile. I really can't miss this episode, because Andrea is my favorite, except for Dawn and D.Woods but whatever, and it's all about her and her skanky boyfriend.

.o.O.o.

"Is it possible for you to go two hours without watching TV?" He asked me as I adjusted his t-shirt on my shoulders as we settled on his couch, staring at the TV.

"Well I think you should know of all people, you keep me in the booth far longer than two hours at a time."

"Stop, you make me sound like a slave driver."

"Your words, not mine."

"I give you breaks." He defended loudly.

"That last as long as it takes for you to tell me all the things that were wrong with the previous takes and then it's right back to the salt mines!"

"No, you always sneak out."

"Well duh, I can't miss The Daily Show, it's the only news that flows through my brain. I need to stay current."

"You're a Canadian! Nothing of political importance is ever focused on us when we're right above the United States."

"Well they're hogging it all. I vote they dole out some of that mayhem."

"Jude." He warned with a smile betraying him. I smiled at him gratefully as he fluffed a pillow before motioning for me to sit my head up. "What does this mean?" I asked him, mocking his come here wave.

"It means lift your head so that I can give you a pillow."

"Oh, well I didn't know that." I lied with an easy smile and propped my head up as he slipped a pillow under it. I caught his gaze as he leaned over, catching a smile on his lips.

I lifted my head as he titled his own to meet mine, planting a small kiss full on his lips still feeling butterflies kick up in my stomach. I was sorta wondering when we had gotten so comfortable and then I stopped thinking. Because really, thinking sucks. I hate doing it, I do it as little as possible. Except for when I analyze stuff. Which usually entails stupid stuff that doesn't need to be looked at deeper than its shallow surface. Whatever.

"Thought about what you want to title your second album, girl?" He asked as he settled across from me.

"Well I don't know. What could really follow up the genius of Jude Harrison? I was thinking Jude Harrison: Remastered and Repackaged. Watcha think?" I posed to him with a cheeky smile.

"Hmmm, really gets those creative juices flowing. Anything else swirling in that head of yours?" He asked me.

Hmmm, not really. It's pretty hollow up there; I barely visit. I mean, I guess they miss me, but whenever I consult my senses and think things though I usually frustrate them because I disregard our conversations.

There was that period of time when Tommy made me say things seven times in my head before I spoke out loud. But he ruined it when he would scream and yell about me not taking direction and not even giving him the decency to respond. I would try to explain it all but the bunches of excuses bubbled in my head in long-winded speeches and I would have to recite them in my head seven times. And by then he would storm out the studio and order Kwest to 'deal with her'.

What-ev-er.

I do not need to be dealt with. I should be treated like a Princess! Sorry, I was watching The Hills earlier and Heidi really rubs her awful personality on me. I was thinking about like ditching my job and partying at a club with my boyfriend and then flirt shamelessly with someone that I went on a date with once. And then fight with him about it. But then I had to take a shower so whatever.

I really should be handled with care just like those boxes marked fragile whenever people move. Like when they packed my dad's stuff up, some of the boxes were marked up with little notes, but the movers always spelled them wrong. So instead of this side up it said stupid stuff like don't hold mie upsiid dawn. Who gets dawn from down? And who personifies a box like that? Plus they gave my mom incentive to throw boxes down the stairs with disregard, claiming she couldn't read the warnings.

"Well instead of Rattle and Hum, I could be ironic or make a tribute and call it Hum and Rattle. Or maybe something cool and long like You Can Play These Songs with Chords. Huh? How does that sound Mr. Producer-Man?" I asked him.

"Everyone always seemed to like Alanis' titles. How about Over Rug Swept."

"You're bad at this."

"All I need now is some intellectual intercourse."

"Looking for something new? Tired of the boring old regular, you know, physical intercourse? Need some flavor Mr. Q?" I asked him a slightly chuckle as his eyes bugged out.

After his little fit subsided he let his roll backwards, the fringes of his hair tickling his neck and back. I kicked my feet up, letting the blanket billow and tent around our feet. I looked over at the clock, it was too far for me to make out any semblance of a time so I just threw my head against his couch, letting my head loll comfortably against the buttery leather.

I looked over at Tommy to see him watching the ceiling, his stare focused through the skylight, so I let my gaze drift upwards. I could see the cold air holding its thin layer in the sky, frosting over the moon and the tinkle of the stars but keeping the peaceful slumber that fell over at night. It was calming. I would say something about my frazzled nerves but then I would just feel like Spied's mom. I have never encountered one person in this world more on edge than her; and it was mostly Spied's fault.

Have I ever mentioned that he and Kyle used to terrorize Jamie and Wally? I don't really know what kind of pleasure Kyle derived from it since he's like a year older than us. But I guess taunting is fun for all at any age. And I think Spied is probably into getting whipped and what not.

I would go into that one episode of House, where he gave the guy a stroke and it turned out he like really rough and something bad happened with his brain, but I won't. Even though I would just like for everyone to reminisce about Chase's Tic-Tac popping habits in that episode. I don't look at them the same any more. I'm more of an Orbitz kind of girl. Ok I lied, I just do whatever Snoop Dogg does, so when I have a dirty mouth I clean it up. Ok, ça suffit.

Any way, they terrorized with slightly sadistic tendencies. I guess a little more information is needed before I reveal the horrors of the deep seated meanness and cruelty that dwells within Spied and Kyle: Wally is obsessive by nature. Once he gets hooked on something, even now, he won't let it go. Like a pug or a…basset hound when they find fish.

His Disney obsession spanned for far too many years. It still lingers, I catch him watching American Dragon: Jake Long almost every time Tommy gives a break longer than five minutes. In fifth grade he idolized Cinderella and Snow White. He tried to persuade me into dressing up like both of them for Halloween. And no, I do not mean Cinderella half of the night, Snow White the other.

I mean he offered to craft a dress for me and half of it would be icy blue with a billowing bell skirt, stitched to the top of the dress with sequins and the other half with a sweeping, softly golden skirt and a blue corset with poofy sleeves and red accents. Half and Half, if you will. But I bet you won't so I'll stop when I tell you that he offered to sew it for me too.

And poor, naïve, stupid Wally asked me from the beginning of October all the way to the moment right before we all left the house to trick-or-treat; he even commissioned Spied to persuade me. I really don't know why he was so adamant, I mean Sadie would have totally gone for being two princesses since her head was inflated enough to suffocate two princesses but whatever.

A few days after the sugar highs and crashes from Halloween wore off, Sadie took us all to the park. Jamie and I were on the seesaw, only he was ruining the fun because he was afraid that I would throw an Acme anvil opposite him and send him flying to the sky and that he would die on his way down.

There is no other person alive that fears the Road Runner more than Jamie. Even now. So while I threw little wood chips at Jamie's face and he cried, Spied and Kyle told Wally that if he let them tie his hair to the monkey bars, he has always rocked a slight afro, that Cinderella would come and find him and they would get married.

"I don't know if that will work." Wally called out skeptically while Kyle joined Spied on top of the monkey bars, grasping a handful of Wally's hair and stringing a gasp of pain from his shouting mouth. Jamie and I watched Spied pop his head through the bars, his head upside down, hair hanging from his scalp, his face turning bright red barely two inches from Wally.

"Do you want her to come or not?" Spied asked him in a slightly strangled voice while his eyes popped out of his head.

"Well…yes." Wally said ruefully but conceding in his tone.

"Isn't Cinderella married to Prince Charming?" Jamie whispered to me. I threw him a look back with a snarl and kicked more dirt on his shoes. He stayed silent as we continued to watched Spied and Kyle giggle furiously while they violently grabbed chunks of Wally's hair, knotting the strands together around the dulled yellow bars.

Suddenly, Kyle clapped his hands loudly and jumped down the ground, Spied following closely while Wally yowled in pain as he dangled from the monkey bars by his hair.

"THIS HURTS ME!" He cried, tears streaming down his face at a quickening pace. "THIS REALLY REALLY HURTS ME!" He screamed and drawing attention from other mothers in the park. I was sorta afraid they would call my mom but they just grabbed their out kids and got the hell outta there. I guess they were afraid that Spied and Kyle would set the park on fire.

We watched as Wally flailed around, struggling to hoist himself up with one hand in attempts to stop the constant tugging on his head while the other hand furiously wiped the tears from his face.

"This is so mean." Sadie commented off-handedly barely heard through Wally's chants from Cinderella to come save him.

"Isn't supposed to be other way around?" I asked.

"You mean Cinderella should be hanging from monkey bars by her hair and Wally should come save her?" Sadie asked me sarcastically.

"Well maybe not this scenario, but isn't it the damsel in distress and not the …damsello in distress."

"Does oxygen even get to your brain?"

I let out a loud laugh, sending shock waves through the otherwise silent air. "Wattcha thinkin about?" He asked, scooting closer and wrapping an around my shoulders. My arms snaked around his torso while my head buried into his skin.

"Isn't that my line?" I asked him with a soft laugh.

.o.O.o.

Shows passed before us, nothing grabbing my attention, his hands had trailed soft circles around my back under the t-shirt he had lent me. I adjusted the waist of his boxers, pulling them further up my hips after I had felt the cold leather against my skin. His tickling fingers slowed until the were still against my skin as his eyes fluttered closed, though each time I shifted slightly his reverie was interrupted and his lids lifted to look at me once more.

"Tommy?" I whispered, testing to see if he was really asleep. He's quite crafty. And a fine actor.

I heard him mumble incoherently, a what forming at hips lips but stopping there.

"Do you think you'll ever get married again?" I asked absently, playing with the soft fabric of the blanket across my legs.

"Yes." He told me, a little clearer than he had been but his eyes still remained shut.

"Who?" I asked.

Is there something the matter with me?

Do I really wanna know?

It's probably Portia.

Or Kelly Ripa. "Oh, she's a pretty blonde." He said softly, the words cascading past his lips as he continued without my prompting.

That's one for Kelly.

"I love her. I think I always have. But she isn't ready yet. I'm still waiting." He murmured. God, since when is he so cognizant in a semi-conscious state? Whatever.

I bit on my bottom lip, wondering if I should probe further as the blanket shifted against my shins again.

"How long would you wait?" I asked. This is merely for curiosity's sake and for me to gauge how long I should wait for Michael Seater to come around. Honestly.

"Forever." He mumbled before a snore resounded through his body as it expelled itself lazily into the air.

Good to know.

Good. To. Know.