"Mom I'm home…" I yelled and ran upstairs to my room. I headed straight for my radio and turned it on

My scars remind me the past is real

I tear my heart open just to feel

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down

And I just wanna…

I hate that song…I turned the radio off before it could continue I guess it's ironic... that song is exactly what I'm feeling… whatever… I went over and put in My Chemical Romance and turned it up. I sat on my bed and tried to concentrate on my homework, yeah right. I fell back on my pillow and started to relax

"Eleanor turn that down" my mom burst into my room. I could tell she was already drunk shit…not again… I ran over to my stereo and shut it off

"Sorry mom I didn't' know…" The next thing I knew she had pushed me down on the color and was screaming.

" YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE IF YOU WEREN'T SO STUPID AND USE YOUR BRAIN"

"But I didn't…" I felt a sharp pain in my side.

"DON'T TALK BACK YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BITCH" She moved closer to me and I could smell the alcohol on her breath "and the next time you disrespect me I'll make sure you regret it" she whispered in my ear. She walked out of my room and I heard the front door slam. A while later I heard the phone ring. I decided the pain in my side went away enough to get up and answer it.

"Hello"

"Good evening, is this Mrs. Nash?" A man's voice said

"No, this is her daughter, she's not here right now… can I take a message?"

"This may be difficult to hear but please pass this information on to your mother. Lt. Nash has been killed during a military peacekeeping operation you will be contacted in a few days with more information. I'm very sorry for your loss, funeral arrangements will be taken care of. Again I'm very sorry" click he hung up.

"no…no no no no NO!" I screamed and threw the phone across my room. I watched it shatter on the wall and I backed up against the wall behind me, my body shaking. I slid down the wall crying, my side throbbing. Daddy… you promised you'd be ok… you were the only person I had left… you were supposed to rescue me from hell… it would be ok when you came back… but now…why did you have to go? I slowly moved across my room to my backpack. I found what I was looking for as the stupid song came back into my head….

I tear my heart open

Just to feel…