This story has simply developed a life of its own! It was only supposed to be three chapters long. Now the ending alone is five chapters and counting. I don't seem to know when to quit! Anyway, thanks for staying with me. I appreciate it. Again, I thought this would be the last chapter, but it isn't. There will be one AND ONLY ONE (I swear) more. Hope you'll stay with me for the final two chapters. And, as always, I'm shamelessly begging for reviews because I don't have a life and reviews are all I live for. (Oh, God! Am I pathetic or what!)
The Future – Part V
Saturday movie night became a regular date for Bill, Karen and Elise. It worked about the same way every week: some kind of sandwich for dinner, snacks and dessert and an Alfred Hitchcock movie. One week it was Rear Window, another week they watched Notorious followed by Vertigo and The Stranger On the Train. Every week Elise begged to watch Psycho and every week Bill refused. "Your Aunt Jane watched that movie when she was your age and she refused to shower for the next two weeks!" he would tell her.
The movie would end around ten o'clock or so and Elise would feign exhaustion, kiss Bill and Karen good night and head upstairs leaving them some time to themselves. And every week she hoped to get up on Sunday morning to find them tangled in a lovers knot in her father's bed. But much to the little cupid's chagrin, it never happened. Bill and Karen would snuggle on the sofa for a couple of hours sipping wine and talking or watching a movie that they didn't think was appropriate for Elise and sometime around midnight, Karen would go home.
When Bill had to go to Washington for a week long conference of CTU directors, Elise convinced him to let her stay with Karen instead of having his parents come to LA and stay with her. "You know, Dad," she started with her prepared speech, "I'll be going to Phoenix to spend a week with Grandma and Grandpa in a month when school lets out. It seems silly for them to come and stay with me now and then for me to go out there in a couple of weeks." Bill happily agreed to the arrangement. He was thrilled that Karen and Elise got along so well.
Girls' week, as they started to refer to it, was more fun than Elise or Karen had expected. They went shopping and got their nails done, watched movies that Bill would have called mushy and romantic and giggled over all sorts of silly things.
Friday night was Elise's last night with Karen; Bill was coming home on Saturday. They ordered Chinese food and chatted over dinner.
"I've had a great time this week, Karen. Can we do it again sometime? I mean, even if Dad doesn't have to go away for work. Maybe we could just pick a week and do this again," Elise suggested.
"It's fine with me. I had fun, too," Karen agreed.
"Besides," Elise continued, "it would give my dad a break. He has to get tired of dealing with me sometimes."
"Ellie, your father loves you. He doesn't get tired of dealing with you," Karen corrected her.
"I know he loves me, but being a single father's got to be a drag some days."
"I don't think he ever considers it a drag," Karen assured her.
The two were silent for a few moments before Elise spoke again.
"When are you and Dad going to get married?"
Karen smiled. "Honey, we've only been dating a few months. We've never even talked about marriage." She hoped that her casual response belied her desire to have that happen.
"Why not? You love each other don't you?"
"You're right, we do love each other."
"Then what are you waiting for?"
"Marriage is serious business. We both need to make sure that we're ready."
Elise nodded as if she understood, but she really didn't. "Do you still love your ex-husband?"
"I'm not sure that you get to ask that question, Elise. That's pretty personal, but the answer is no. I don't still love Brian."
"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't ask, but what made you stop loving him?"
"When he told me that he'd been cheating on me for 20 years, I pretty much stopped loving him right away," Karen said with a wry smile. "Why are we playing twenty questions, Ellie?"
"I don't know. I just wondered. I guess I was wondering what makes you stop loving someone. I think my dad loved my mother for a really long time even though she hurt him. I don't really think he stopped loving her until recently, maybe after he met you."
Karen shook her head a little. "Honey, you would know more about that than I would. You've known him a lot longer."
"Do you know anything about my mother?"
"Not really," Karen said hoping that she was a convincing liar. "I just know she left right after you were born."
Elise nodded and looked away.
"Honey, if you have questions about your mother, you need to ask your dad."
Elise got up from the table. She had been doing homework at a nearby desk and had left a binder on top. Karen watched her open the binder and pull a folded piece of newspaper from the binder's back pocket. "I need to show you something, but you have to promise not to tell my father."
"I can't promise you that, Elise. He's your father. I'm flattered that you want to confide in me, but if there's something important that he should know, I have no right to keep it from him."
Elise swallowed hard and unfolded the newspaper. She looked at it for a few seconds before speaking again. "I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't tell me father, but if you have to, then I'll understand."
Karen squinted and shook her head to indicate that she didn't understand the secrecy. "Honey, are you in some kind of trouble?"
Elise put the newspaper article on the table in front of Karen, who stared at it not knowing what to say.
"Do you know who this woman is?" Elise asked.
"Her name is Collette Stenger."
"Apparently that's an alias," Elise said quietly. "I did some research on the internet. She has other aliases, too. One of them is Ava Stroebel. That's my mother's name."
"How did you come across that article? Stenger's role in the attack was pretty obscure. It didn't get much press coverage."
"Not long after the terrorist attack, we had a current events assignment to find and summarize an article on the terrorist attack. One of the girls in my class found this article. When she saw the picture, she thought that the woman looked like me, so she brought it in just because she thought it was kind of cool. At first, when she showed it to me, I didn't think much about it. A bunch of us looked at it and laughed about how maybe I could be related to an international terrorist.
"A couple of weeks later I was cleaning out my binder and I was going to throw the article away. Before I did, I decided to read it. It said that she was from Germany and had been a communist sympathizer living in Russia in the 90's. I don't know much about my mother, but my dad has told me that much. The story just sounded too familiar. So then I started doing some research. There wasn't much available, but there were a few articles and a couple of them mentioned her other aliases. They also said that she had worked in the US embassy in Germany. I knew that my father met her at the US embassy. It all just fell into place a week or two ago," Elise explained. "So, where is she now? Is she in prison?"
Karen nodded. "She's in federal prison here in California. She pleaded guilty to all of the charges and was sentenced to twenty years."
"So you knew all about it," Elise said, her voice soft and cool.
"Yes, honey, I did. Your father told me about it right after we started dating."
"He told you but he wouldn't tell me!" Elise said as she started to cry. "Why did you both keep this from me?"
"Elise, believe me, your father didn't know what to do or what to tell you. He didn't want to hurt you any more than you'd already been hurt by your mother. Honey, don't be angry with him. He did what he thought was best for you. He loves you so much and he hates that your mother hurt you the way she did." Karen wrapped her arms around Elise and let her cry. "Please, don't be angry with him."
It didn't take Elise long to settle down. She pulled away from Karen and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry. It just happened."
"You don't have to apologize. You're allowed to cry," Karen comforted her. She fixed some hairs that had pulled out of Elise's French braids.
"Are you going to tell my father?"
"That you cried?" Karen said trying to lighten the moment.
"No, that I know about my mother," Elise clarified.
"I'm not going to tell him, honey, but I think that you should."
"Why? It won't change things."
"That's not the point. It doesn't make sense for you to keep it from him. I actually think it would lift a huge burden off of his shoulders. I really think you should tell him."
"I'll have to think about it."
"Take your time. When you're ready to talk, he'll be ready to listen. Until then, I won't breathe a word of this to him."
Elise and Karen picked Bill up at the airport the next day. "How was girls' week?" he asked as he kissed them both.
"It was great!" Elise told him. "See," she said holding out her hands in front of him, "we got our nails done and," she said batting her eyelashes "we got out eyebrows waxed."
"Doesn't that hurt?" Bill asked scrunching his face in an expression of pain. At the same time he noticed how grown up the perfectly arched brows made his little girl look.
"It's the price we women pay for beauty. Right, Elise?" Karen said smiling.
By the time Bill claimed his luggage and they got the car and drove home, it was nearly seven o'clock. As soon as they arrived home, Elise took her suitcases and backpack upstairs to her room.
"Did you two rent a movie for movie night?" Bill asked.
"No," Karen told him. "I thought you might be tired from the time change and you and Elise need some time alone."
Bill reached for Karen and pulled her into his arms. "I'd like to spend time alone with you, too," he said as he kissed her neck. "I missed you. If you stay, we can curl up on the couch and do a little more of this after Elise goes to bed."
"I missed you, too and I want us to spend some time alone and if you keep doing what you're doing now, I'm going to melt right here," Karen said as she closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. "But I think it should wait. I think you and Elise need some time."
Bill stopped kissing her and pulled back enough to look her in the eye. "Did something happen while I was gone? Is everything okay between you two?"
"We're fine, Bill. The week gave us a great chance to bond over nail polish and Chinese food, but Elise needs to spend some time with you now. She and I had fun, but she missed you."
Bill nodded. He understood; it was just that a week away from Karen had heightened his awareness of how important she had become to him and how much he loved her. Coming home today and having Karen and Elise greet him at the airport simply confirmed what he already knew: the three of them needed to be a family. Now he just had to figure out how to ask her.
Bill's thoughts were interrupted by Elise bounding down the stairs. "You aren't going home, are you, Karen?"
"I thought I would. Your dad needs to get some rest and you two need to catch up."
"I wish you wouldn't go," Elise told her as she hugged her. "I had a great time. Thank you for everything."
"I had a great time, too. Home is going to be lonely without you. I got used to having you there."
They all said their good byes, promised to talk the next day and Karen headed home. Once Karen left, Bill and Elise settled in for the evening. Elise told Bill all about her week. She was a talkative as usual, but something about her manner seemed restrained. Bill couldn't put a finger on it, but years of intelligence work told him that she was holding something back.
Elise went to bed a little earlier than usual, something else that Bill found strange. She claimed that she and Karen had been up late the night before, but it didn't wash with Bill. Twelve year olds would stay up half the night it you let them regardless of how tired they were.
Bill went upstairs a half hour later to get ready for bed. The light in Elise's room was off, but he could tell that she wasn't asleep. When Elise slept she was silent. Not just quiet, absolutely silent. She rarely moved or rolled over, her breathing was so soft and subtle as to be almost frightening to a father who went in to check on her before going to bed. But that night was different. From the hallway he could hear her covers rustling as she repeatedly turned as if trying to find a comfortable position. He also could hear her sighing quietly each time she repositioned herself. Something was wrong; he just didn't know what it was or how to make her confide in him.
He was ready for bed and planning to read for a little while when Bill realized that his reading glasses were downstairs in his study. He had gone down to get them and was about to turn to go back upstairs when a noise behind him made him jump.
"I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to scare you," Elise said almost timidly.
Bill noticed that she was holding something behind her back. "Sweetheart, what are you doing still awake? You went to bed over an hour ago," Bill noted.
Elise looked down and shrugged. "I couldn't sleep."
"Ellie, is there something you want to talk about?" he asked her gently.
Elise said nothing but handed him the folded piece of newspaper. Bill put on his reading glasses and opened the paper. He only looked at it for a second before setting it on his desk and taking off his glasses. "Where did you get this?"
"Does it matter?" Elise asked.
"No, I guess it doesn't," Bill responded.
He sat down on the leather sofa that lined one side of the study. Elise saw an immediate change in his demeanor. She couldn't quite explain it. His head was down and his shoulders slumped. He looked defeated. Yes, that was it, defeated. That was the only way to describe it. He looked defeated and Elise hated that her take-charge father suddenly looked like he wasn't in charge at all. He was sad and tired and lonely and defeated.
"I'm sorry, Elise," he whispered. "I never wanted you to know. She hurt you so much and I thought that by telling you it would just hurt more. It seemed to be better if you never knew the truth. Please, don't be angry with me."
"I'm not angry, Dad. I was a little at first, but I think I'm just more hurt than anything else. All I ever wanted was the truth. If the truth was that my mother was a bad person, then that's what I wanted to know. You always made her sound like she was a good person who made one mistake. How long have you known that she worked with terrorists?"
"I just found that part out the day of the terrorist attacks when we arrested her. That's the truth, Elise, I swear it is. Until that time, I honestly believed that she was a good person who made one mistake. Maybe part of my keeping it from you is that I had a hard time believing it myself. I couldn't imagine that I could have loved someone who turned out to be so bad and who could be responsible for hurting so many people. I couldn't imagine that I had been so wrong about her."
Elise sat down on the sofa close to Bill and he instinctively pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much, Ellie. I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe me."
"It's okay, Dad. I understand. I know you always want what's best for me. I appreciate that." Bill and Elise sat quietly for a few moments. It was Elise who spoke again. "Is there anything else that I should know?"
"She asked about you."
"Really?" Elise said raising her perfectly groomed eyebrows.
"She wanted to know all about you. She wanted to see a picture of you. She said that she understands now what a mistake it was to abandon you. If it means anything to you, sweetheart, I think she's sincerely sorry."
"It's easy to be sorry when you're wearing handcuffs," Elise commented sarcastically.
Bill hesitated for a moment and then spoke. "If you really want it, I could probably arrange for you to meet her. The prison is just a couple of hours from here."
"Do you want me to meet her?"
"Not really, but then again I'm not sure that's my decision. I think you'll have to make that decision."
Elise shook her head without a second thought. "I don't have any desire to meet her. I did at one time. I just wanted to talk to her and to find out how you could walk away from your own baby. I wanted her to know that it's hard to grow up and not have a mother who loves you, but I don't feel that way any more."
"What changed your mind?"
"Karen did. I mean, Karen treats me like her own daughter. Now I know what it's like to be loved by a mother. I don't need to meet my own mother who really doesn't love me anyway. I've got a mother in my life now who does love me."
Bill smiled a warm, infectious smile and pulled Elise just a little bit closer. She saw his eyes fill with tears, something that almost never happened. "How did I get so lucky? You are the best daughter I could have ever hoped for."
"Grandma always says 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree'." Bill laughed as Elise put her arms around him and hugged him. "Can we make some hot cocoa and just sit here and snuggle for a while?"
"You bet, sweetie, I'll get the mugs and the milk. You get the cocoa and the marshmallows."
"Deal!" Elise said happily as she pulled Bill from the couch.
He smiled again. His little girl was back. All the grown up affect and maturity was out the window. She was a little girl who wanted hot cocoa and to spend time in her father's arms like she had when she was younger.
Elise put the cocoa and marshmallows in the mugs that Bill had taken down from a high shelf while he tended to the milk on the stove. They were fussy about their milk and Bill hovered over it, watching it expectantly. They liked the milk scalded but not boiled. It had to reach that perfect temperature before it boiled and ruined the whole taste. More than one pan of milk had been poured down the sink because it had reached the boiling point and Bill was making sure that this one wasn't one of them.
At the same time as he was staring at the pan of milk, he was thinking about what Elise had just said about Karen, about how Karen had become a mother to her. This seemed as good a time as any to broach the subject of marriage with Elise.
"Ellie," he said as the first wisps of steam started rising from the milk, "when you said that Karen had become like a mother to you, did you mean that?"
"Yeah, I meant it. Why?"
"You know that Karen and I love each other very much. How would you feel if I said that I wanted to marry her?"
"You do!" Elise said launching herself across the room and into her father's arms. "Dad, that would be great. I'd love it. When are you going to ask her? Can you call her now or is it too late?"
"Slow down, kiddo! I can't ask her over the phone at midnight. A woman likes a little romance you know: dinner, candles, music. Besides that, I have to get a ring and I'd like to talk to her kids first. They don't have to be thrilled about it, but I would like to know that they'll at least support their mother's decision if she says 'yes'," Bill explained as he poured the scalded milk into the mugs. The marshmallows bubbled to the surface and began melting, leaving a smooth white coating across the top.
"So, when will you ask her?"
"Give me a week to make those phone calls and to shop for a ring."
"Can I come with you? I want to help pick it out!"
Bill handed Elise a mug. She was practically shaking with excitement. How could he say no? "If you'd like to go with me you can," he said, "but there's a catch here, Ellie. You can't tell anyone about this. I'm serious, sweetheart. I'll talk to Karen's family tomorrow and I'm going to tell them the same thing. I don't want to run the risk that this will get back to her before I get the chance to propose. So you can't tell anyone, not Aunt Jane or your grandparents and not anyone at school."
"Not even Katie?" Elise said looking disappointed.
"Especially not Katie."
"She'll never forgive me, Dad!"
"Better that she never forgives you than that I never forgive you. If Katie's mother finds out, I'm doomed. She'll have it broadcast on the evening news. Elise, you need to promise me right now that you won't tell anyone and if you break that promise I'll be angrier than you've ever seen me."
"I won't tell anyone, Dad, I promise. It might cost you a couple of rocky road ice cream cones, though," she told him smiling.
Bill laughed. "That sounds like a worthwhile investment."
Elise and Bill sat back down on the sofa. Elise curled up against her father. She was holding the warm mug with both hands and sipping the cocoa. "When you and Karen get married, where will we live?"
"We haven't discussed that yet, sweetheart, so I can't say for sure. I would imagine that she would want to sell her condo and move in here. Maybe at some point we'll look at something a little bit bigger."
"Do you think it'll be alright with Karen if you and I have cocoa and snuggle like this once in a while. You know, just the two of us."
"I think she'll be fine with that."
"A lot of things are going to change, aren't they, Dad?"
"Some things will change. Does that bother you?"
"No, not really. I'm just happy that we'll have Karen living with us."
"You know what will never change, Elise?"
"No, what?"
"How much I love you. That can never change."