Disclaimer: I don't own OTH or the song "I'll Stand By You" by The Pretenders.
Stand By You
By: Christie Blotnicky
I couldn't shake the feeling that they were all watching me. That they'd all focused on my car as I pulled in, and watched my every move as I grabbed my purse from the passengers seat, got out, locked up and walked with shaky legs to the front entrance of the clinic.
The clinic. It sounds so professional, so sterile and unfeeling. What people don't quite realize is that more feelings occur here than anywhere else. Second and third thoughts plague you, and you never know who you'll be when you walk out again.
I walked up the steps and glanced around before opening the large glass door. The woman across the street looked at me with such distinct disgust that I almost turned around and walked back to my car and away.
But I couldn't. I had to do this. Maybe I was selfish, maybe I was a murderer, I don't know. All I know is the moment the strip turned pink I had been afraid and sick, and had no concept of anything that was going on in the world, only what was going on in my body.
'Planned Parenthood', ha, what a farce. This place wasn't made to plan anything, it was made to take it away. But I couldn't walk away from it. I needed to have this thing, this growth out of me, now.
I took a final look back across the street to find the discriminating woman had left, and I finally opened the door.
Walking in, it seemed just like any other sterile waiting room. Coming it, out was a room of impending death, which I couldn't help but regret having ever entered.
Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now.
Don't be ashamed to cry, let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you, you don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess could make me love you less
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
Brooke walked out of the Planned Parenthood building and raced to her car. She gunned the engine of her car and raced back into the road to head back to Tree Hill. Tears streamed down her face, and she could barely see the road. She wondered how she would ever tell Lucas the truth about what she'd done.
Lucas. The one person she had made an extra effort to avoid during the past several weeks. He had realized early on that something was amiss with his normally cheerful girlfriend. After her constant reassurances, he chalked her distant attitude up to her recent conflict with Peyton, which he had yet to understand.
As the trees flew by her on the highway, Brooke looked straight out the front window, not daring to look in the rear view mirror at the direction she was coming from. She didn't want to admit she had gone there, not to Lucas, not to herself. She wanted to forget the entire thing ever happened, but she couldn't. Some pregnancy test in a garbage dump somewhere with a pink strip prevented her from ever really forgetting. Knowing that proof existed was enough to keep her mind set solely on the one thing that was now out of her hands, and which would forever plague her head and heart.
As she made her way back into the small town of Tree Hill, she looked around for the first time since she started her journey home. To her right she could see a mother and her daughter walking down the street, hand in hand, talking animatedly about whatever came the young girl's overactive mind. A new flood of tears filled her eyes and she fixed her gaze steadily back on the road.
And hey, what you got to hide? I get angry too
But I'm alot like you.
When you're standing at the crossroads, don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along, cause even if your wrong
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
Take me into your darkest hour, and I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you
Later that evening Lucas called. In fact, he had called several times in the course of the day, but Brooke had refused to speak with him each time, lying about washing her hair, or having a nap, or whatever other lame excuse she could come up with. She was sure Lucas had no idea why she was really avoiding him, but she was also entirely sure that he wouldn't stop until he found out.
Picking up the phone, Brooke mumbled a quite 'Hello', and wasn't surprised to hear the deep voice of her boyfriend coming from the other end.
"Is you're hair clean yet?" he asked, a hint of humour, and a hint of anger all at once. Brooke sighed.
"Can you come over?" she asked. She could hear him sigh audibly over the phone, which was followed by a curt 'Sure' before saying goodbye and hanging up.
She knew she had to tell him, even though she knew he would be heartbroken, and angry. She couldn't know for sure, though, how he would take the news. In fact, she wasn't even sure how she wanted him to take it.
Fifteen minutes after their conversation had ended, a knock came to Brooke's bedroom door and without waiting for an answer, Lucas walked in.
"He there, Pretty Girl," he said in a soft voice, using the nickname that she would never tell him bugged the crap out of her. She smiled sadly and motioned for him to sit on the bed.
"There's something we have to talk about," she began slowly. He sat down and looked at her, waiting for her continue with her news. "I did something today, and I know you wont be happy about it. But before I tell you I need you to promise me that you wont get mad at me." Lucas looked at her confusedly.
"What did you do?" nerves filled him, along with that little twinge he got in the back of his neck every time she did something that angered him.
"Promise me first."
"Tell me and then I'll let you know," he said. She sighed deeply and swallowed back the lump in her throat.
"Lucas. I care about you, a lot," she began. He nodded exaggeratedly.
"I know you do, Brooke. What's going on?" She looked at him sadly.
"I was pregnant," she blurted. He looked at her with a mix of shock and confusion, not knowing exactly what to say or do. All he could muster was:
"You were?"
"Yes, I was," she said quietly.
"Wow," was his response. "Well, umm. God, Brooke. How long have you known?"
"About two weeks," she answered, looking at her sheets.
"Wait," Lucas said, just cluing in. "You said you were. What? Did something happen to you, or to the baby?" he asked. Suddenly his shock and confusion had turned into worry, for both his girlfriend and their unborn child, which up until a moment ago he'd had no clue of it's existence. Brooke was silent for a moment. A tear dripped down her cheek, which Lucas caught with his thumb. "What is it, Brooke?"
"I killed it," she said quietly. Lucas jerked his hand from her face and looked at her with a wrinkled brow.
"What do you mean, you killed it?" he asked. Brooke looked up at him, seeing his confused eyes for the first time that evening.
"I had an abortion, Lucas," she replied. Lucas looked at her for a long moment, realization seeping into his eyes. Suddenly he jumped off of the bed and stared at her incredulously.
"You killed my baby?" he asked. His voice was quiet but deadly. A few more tears ran down her face, and she stood up to look him in the eye.
"I had to, Lucas. I couldn't handle it!"
"You couldn't handle it!" he shouted. "You murdered my child and your answer to why is you couldn't fucking handle it!" His anger boiled over, and Brooke's tears were falling harder than before.
"No! Lucas, I couldn't handle it. I'm too young, and I'm too fucking scared to be a mother!" he put his hands angrily on his hips and looked from the floor to her and back to the floor.
"You're not ready," he repeated. "Well what about me, Brooke? Huh? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you at least ask me what I wanted to do?"
"Because this is My Body, Lucas! Not yours!"
"And it was my baby, Brooke. You should have told me! You should have asked!"
"And you should have used a condom, but it's a little too fucking late for that now, don't you think!" she cried. He looked at her incredulously.
"What if I was aborted? Huh Brooke? My mother had a lot less going for her than you do, and she still had me! What if she had been a coward like you?" he exclaimed. Brooke looked at him with so much anger that it tore away at his heart.
"Then maybe I wouldn't be in this situation," she said with a soft anger. Lucas looked at her, shocked and appalled.
"You sicken me, Brooke. You really fucking do." With that Lucas stormed out, leaving Brooke standing alone in her bedroom, wondering what to do now.
More tears fell down her already wet cheeks, as she fell back onto her bed. Never had she felt so utterly empty and alone.
And when, when the night falls on you baby, you're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own, I'll stand by you. I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you. I'll stand by you
She grabbed her cell phone off of her nightstand and dialed a number she knew off by heart. After three seemingly infinite rings, a voice came onto the line.
"I need you," Brooke said softly.
"Brooke?" came the questioning voice. Brooke closed her eyes tightly as her tears were squeezed out, and landed on her comforter.
"Peyton. I really need a friend," she whispered. Silence ensued for a moment, before a labored response came from the other line.
"I'll be right there."
Take me in into your darkest hour and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you.
Just a one shot fic, please read and respond. This is just basically a version of what I think would happen if Brooke turned out to be pregnant. This is not a Pro, or Anti abortion fanficiton, it is just what I think would happen, so please no bashing.