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Chapter 4: Breaking

The day before Boromir and Faramir would set out and return to the lines dawned and Boromir slowly rose from his bed. He had not seen Ellethwen at all since the night in the courtyard, even when he would wait for her she would bypass him somehow, and when he would retire early she would already be gone and his room would be ready for him to retire. He missed her company and long to talk with her once more, or even see her smile again. He woke late that morning as he had stayed up a greater part of the night thinking over his last meeting with Ellethwen, and he had come to the conclusion that he must have frightened her in some way and would make it up to her as best he could.

Suddenly, the door to his chamber was opened and he looked towards the bedchamber door and through the slightly ajar door, he saw Ellethwen cautiously enter the room. After she looked about she quickly moved further into the room and set to work in tidying his room. He stood from the bed and pulled on his breeches and tunic he had discarded the night before on the chair near his bed and quickly walked into the sitting room.

Ellethwen moved quickly and got the sitting room in order before she would move onto the bedchamber and grab the wash. She knew Lord Boromir would be finishing with breakfast soon and probably returning to his chamber before the ceremony that afternoon. Her back was to the bedchamber door as she replied the firewood stack and when she heard his voice she froze.
"Good morning, Ellethwen," Boromir said as he stood behind the sofa. Ellethwen stood and turned to face him with wide eyes. She bowed her head quickly and Boromir sighed. So what little progress he had made was already dashed away.

"Good morning, my lord," she said softly as she raised her skirts slightly and moved to his desk where once again she busied herself organizing his parchments. He walked over to her and grasped her wrists stilling them. He felt her tense under his hands and she slowly looked up at him. Ellethwen took a deep breath when she noted his tangled hair and looseness of his clothes. She realized then that he must have just gotten out of bed.

"Do not close yourself from me," he whispered and let go of one of her hands to push some stray hair from her face. "Why did you once again become invisible?" She sighed and pulled away from him.

"It is what is best," she said softly. Boromir frowned and shook his head.

"It is not what is best," he said firmly and she looked at him. "Talk to me Ellethwen," he said softer.

"What is it you wish to know?" she asked and Boromir frowned. He knew little of her, and perhaps if he talked to her further, he would know why she was pulling away from him again.

"What was your reason for coming to the Citadel?" he asked.

"My mother." Boromir nodded and Ellethwen sighed. "She and Trassa got me the position. Trassa knew my mother from when they were children."

"Knew?" Boromir asked and Ellethwen turned away from him and looked out of the balcony window behind them.

"My mother passed two days after I came to the Citadel."

"I am sorry," he said softly and Ellethwen shook her head and kept her eyes trained out the window.

"There is no need, my lord," she said quickly and looked back to him. "Time has passed and my heart is healing. However, there are times I still miss her," she finished softly. Boromir sighed and he once again took her hands into his, only that time his grip was softer and he held her fingers in his much rougher and larger hands.

"I know how you feel." Ellethwen looked at him. She knew he had lost his mother at an even younger age. He had only been ten. "Even I wish that my mother still lived, even though I knew she was not happy. I loved her; she was the only women I have ever loved." Tears came to Ellethwen's eyes as she looked down at their hands. He had said 'was' but she didn't dare think what that could mean. She could be reading into absolutely nothing.

"I made her a promise," she whispered and Boromir frowned as she turned her eyes back up to him and he saw the tears in them.

"Ellethwen?" he asked in a whisper and let go of her hands and held her face gently in his hands. The bruise was gone and he now saw her fair face just as she was before he struck her. She closed her eyes briefly at the feel of his hands on her face but she pulled back from him and walked over to the balcony her arms wrapped around her stomach.

"I made her a promise, my lord, that I would remain invisible. I broke that promise and now I am on the verge of breaking another," she said and Boromir walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. She pulled away from him and shook her head. "Please don't." She looked at him and saw the hurt and confusion clear on his face. "This cannot go on. If you wish it, I will request a new position from Trassa."

"No! No, Ellethwen, that is the last thing I wish for," he said and Ellethwen wiped the tears from her face and sighed. "Then this will stop," he said finally. "I will not pursue our friendship any further." His tone was stiff and cold, unlike any other time he had spoken to her. He turned from without a second glance and slammed the door to his bedchamber. Ellethwen let out a soft sob before she sighed heavily and raised her hands to her face. She shook her head and wiped at her face before she ran from the room. She would wait until the celebration to clean it. She could not do it now.

Boromir fumed inside. His chest hurt, and he wanted nothing more then to run an enemy through with his sword. He had lost her completely and he hadn't the slightest idea why. He pulled open the curtains and looked out at the city. Silence surrounded him and when he heard the chamber door close he closed his eyes.

Of course she would leave and wait until he was gone and performing his duties for the ceremony that afternoon. He opened his eyes once more. The feeling of emptiness surrounded him and he knew that feeling for it was the same feeling he had when his mother passed. It was then when he realized just how deep his feelings ran for Ellethwen and he slammed his hand on the stone wall next to the window. He had found something in her and now it was gone. It slipped through his fingers like the fine sand that rests on the bank of the river. He closed his eyes and leaned against the stone wall trying to gather his broken heart.

Ellethwen moved quickly through the corridor, but she could not return to her room, so instead she quickly ducked into an empty study. She leaned against the door and slowly slid to the floor. She sat on her knees and cried quietly. She had done what she had set out to do. She pushed him away. She should have been happy, but she wasn't happy.

All she wondered was why did it feel as though she just died inside?