Disclaimer: Wrong name.

NOVEMBER 3RD SECOND YEAR

James snorted in disgust as he looked over to see Lily Evans and her cronies. Well, they were actually more like slaves. Except for Trace, Rell, and Playa. They were more like sidekicks.

The thing was, Lily Evans had the entire Slytherin house wrapped around her little finger. Sirius looked to where James was looking and snorted as well.

"She's so… so… arrogant!" said James. "Struts around like she owns the entire bloody world!"

"Hypocrite," muttered Remus. James glared at him.

"Hey Remus, will you help me with my Charms homework?"

"It's Sirius's turn."

"Sirius?"

"I don't feel like it."

"I'll help you with your Transfiguration."

"Already did it."

"Bloody prat. Please Remus?"

"I don't understand how you can be so brilliant in all of your other classes, and suck so badly at Charms."

"Me neither. So will you please help me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's Sirius's turn."

"BLOODY HELL!"

"That's one way to put it," said Sirius, who was laying flat out so his head was tilted in a way that made him look at the world upside down. "You know," he observed. "Despite the fact that she's a Slytherin, Evans is kinda hott."

James looked at him with his mouth hanging open. "Are you drunk?" he asked.

"I don't think so…"

"High?"

"Not today."

"Blind?"

Sirius blinked. "Nope."

"Psychotic?"

"That's the one," said Remus. Sirius mock-glared at him.

"They do say Blacks are mad," James mused. "Now who's going to help me with my Charms?"

Lily sighed, bored. It had been sadly easy to gain complete control, and now that she had it, she wanted more.

Twirling, her wand, she spotted Potter's gang. Gryffindors were so annoying. And that Black. What a disgrace. Bella and Cissy (Bellatrix and Narcissa) had been upset for weeks.

Lily turned Black's hair green and Potter's silver, then cast a charm on each so they both had a black lily tattooed on their foreheads. Neither seemed to notice, so Lily left, her quietly laughing friends behind her.

When they got inside, Shawn, Trista, Jay, Bella, and Cissy burst out laughing. The others laughed softly, slightly confused. Slytherins were so easily pleased.

"Evan!" snapped Lily. The green eyed boy appeared in front of her. "Go get me a Hufflepuff who's completely in love with Potter." He left. A couple of minutes later, he returned with a starry-eyed blonde. "What took you so long?"

"I couldn't get her to shut up about P-O-T-T-E-R."

"Potter?" Lily asked in disgust. At the mention of the name, the girl broke out into continuous, high-pitched babble. Lily winced.

"See what I mean?"

"Yes. SHUT UP!" Lily screamed. Wide-eyed, the girl stopped talking. Someone sighed in relief. "Now listen very carefully," she said, as if speaking to a child. "I need you (she pointed at the girl) to go tell Potter (she pointed out the window) that you like his hair. Got that? Tell Potter (again, she pointed out the window) that you like his hair. Can you do that for me?" still wide-eyed, the girl nodded. "Go do it." The girl scurried off. "I hate Hufflepuffs."

Lily looked out a window. She saw the girl run up to Potter and stammer out the message. In automatic response, he ran a hand through his hair. All of the Slytherins laughed as great tufts of silver hair fell out. The Hufflepuff fainted.

Lily rolled her eyes as Potter and Black realized that they not only had unnatural colored hair, but that it was falling out.

They both looked rather freaked. Then their friend pointed out the black lily on their foreheads.

"EVANS!" bellowed Potter. Black seemed on the verge of fainting. Lily snorted and headed off to the Slytherin common room.

James and Sirius were walking out of the Hospital wing, perfectly normal.

"Evans is so dead," said Sirius.

"More than dead."

"We have to prank her. Seriously."

"Not just any prank though. The mother of all pranks," said James evilly. And the scheming began. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Lily woke up, aware that something was moving in her bed. She looked down to see that her bed was full of—

"SNAKES!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, jumping out of her bed. Her scream woke the other girls, who screamed upon finding their beds full of snakes as well. As each girl hit the floor, they slipped on the chocolate syrup there. "It's a Small World After All" began playing. As the girls stood back up, chocolate pudding poured down on them. Lily screamed as loud and long as she could. People in America swear to this very day that they heard it.

She heard yells from the boys' dormitory as her scream woke them to similar fates. Then whipped cream sprayed down, coating the sugary Slytherins. Of course, caramel sauce followed, then the nuts. And finally, a cherry landed on Lily's head.

The girls raced down to the common room. Sure enough, shining in golden and scarlet letters in the middle of the room was 'To Make You Sweeter Than You Already Are, Flower'. Underneath the words, a gold sword crossed with a scarlet wand—James Potter's signature sign.

"PPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

The Slytherins were gathering in the common room, all of them in basically the same state. There were angry murmurs at the sight of the Marauder's signature.

"This. Means. War." Sounds of agreement ran throughout the angry, sticky, crowd.