MY LITTLE PRINCESS
A/N: Minna minna!!! Hello! I just turned sweet 16 last January 31! Know what guys, I almost committed suicide almost a month ago. Yeah, I know it's stupid but I was just soo frustrated at that time with my family and problems. I thought Fuuko-san would be the last member of FF.net I'd be able to talk to. I was texting her before I even had the knife in my hand and she said she'd be the one to kill me again if I ever kill myself. Fuuko-san, arigatou!
And oh, to those who are STILL confused with the "favor" for Fuuko-san, (and to others who wants an A/K) the first ending will be of course, K/K, no questions about that. On the other hand, there will also be an alternative ending which is an A/K. It's up to K/K fans if you want to read it or not.
About Yoshiwara, it literally means "The Floating World". Well, that's all I can say for now. To those who are familiar with this, then I guess you kinda have some sort of idea to the next fic. To those who don't, then, just wait for another 3-5 months. I have to finish MLP, of course.
O yeah, I actually wrote--what I thought would be my last poem that day. I said, instead of a suicide note, I'll just leave 'em with a suicide poem! Would you mind if I let you guys read it? ^^
Heaven's Lawn
Been crying your name for eternity
My throat's gone sore just all too suddenly
I try to still speak a little more
But no word's coming out, and now I fall.
No matter how I siege myself from reality
It keeps coming out, screaming loudly
I struggle from the unseizing pain
How I love just to be slain!
Every blame there is, is on me
Digging to my bone, I'll never be free
How can you not hear my call of distress?
And it goes, nobody ever listens.
Now that everyone's pointing at me
You ran away and pretended not to see
I was there when you were lifeless
Giving you comfort and happiness.
It's not that you can't hear my voice
You refuse to listen from what you call just a noise
Every time you turn your back
Disgusting pieces of me continue to crack.
Tell me, if I'll be six feet under
Would you treat me much better?
Then if so, I would like it to be
Dig up my grave, and there I'll flee.
Your coldness fills my empty soul
They say blood is warmer than wool
I want to be soaked on my own
And find myself in heaven's lawn.
To the reviewers: You know where! Doumo!
Warning: OOCness? Kinda, and not much of spoilers. I'm on a writer's block after some time off. Plus, I recently broke up with my idiotic boyfriend who now has someone else. Boys are baka! Some of my depressions are pretty eminent here...
Disclaimer: RK is not mine. Standard disclaimers apply.
Ages: Same as in the anime.
Chapter 20. Some Old Things Become New
Kaoru was wandering around the house. It was pretty boring during that day, and it felt like there was nothing to do. She rounded a corner on the left wing of the house. She looked at her feet whenever she took a step. She didn't know why, but they just led her to Hiko's office. She decided to go in and talk to the old man, but before she could even tap, she heard a voice speak.
Kenshin... She thought. Kaoru remembered the last time she did this. The difference was, she was only sneaking upon Hiko. At first, she hesitated but finally gave in to her curiosity. She let her ear snuggle close to the wooden door. Soon, two muffled voices became much clearer.
"So, when do you plan to have the wedding?" the gruff voice was definitely Hiko's.
"Me and Marge decided to have it a month after your birthday, well, if that's okay with you." Kenshin replied.
Hiko raised a brow. He remembered... He was going to turn 50 by then. "Why not. Are you planning to make me look a great grand father rather than a normal grandfather?"
Kenshin smiled a bit. "I'm planning to have the wedding in a western motif."
Hiko shrugged his shoulders and then took something from his desk. "Here is um, a designer you may want to go to. But if you already have--"
"Thank you Uncle. I know you're very much concerned." Kenshin smiled.
Hiko gave him a look. "Don't get me wrong. I'm concerned that you may look like a total idiot. I know how stupid you are when choosing your clothes baka deshi."
"Oro~!" Kenshin took the card from Hiko's hand and thanked him once again.
Kaoru felt her senses draining away. So it was true... And there was nothing she could do. Everything was planned. Kenshin and Marge are going to get married. And how many months did she have left?
A sudden awareness grew inside her when she heard Kenshin saying excuse me.
-*-*-*-
Kaoru found herself inside her room just staring at the two boxes that lay side by side in her night table. Her fists were clenched on her lap while she fought hard with the lingering tears that threatened to fall anytime soon.
It was funny. Aoshi gave her a kimono. It was beautiful and she had been much surprised. But then, Kenshin, without her own knowing, gave her a kimono too. It wasn't just any kimono. It was the kimono she came to wish for when she was still a child. Once again reminding her of the past. Of a long forgotten promise.
"It's so unfair..." she whispered bitterly to no one. "He never listens to what I say... If he didn't go to America...then...then..." Kaoru bit her lip.
What is unfair Kaoru? Aren't you being unfair yourself? You don't own Kenshin. Neither can you tell him what to do or not to do.
"But... why do I get so hurt whenever I think about him leaving me for good? I promised not to cry for him anymore, ne? Ne?" Kaoru answered back to her thoughts.
You managed to get by with your life for so many years without him? Why now? Is it because he's back? Prove me you're stronger than this Kaoru... Prove it...
"I don't know..." her weak voice returned to the empty room.
Can't you understand?! It's that damned feelings you have for him that causes you to be this way! You look so miserable! Stop this already! Stop assuming for a tomorrow! There is none for you and him! You're just dreaming!
"His face... his mere presence seemed to pull out memories from nowhere." Kaoru hugged herself and the voice didn't reply any longer. " If he only knew that I learned to love him...
Just then, she heard a tap on the door. "Kaoru? May I come in?"
Kaoru's eyes shot out wide. She was thankful she didn't cry but she knew her skin was flushed from tension. "Ah, hai..."
Kenshin smiled but sensed something was wrong with her. He sat next to Kaoru on the bed. He studied her features. "Are you alright?" Kenshin caressed her cheeks with his curled index finger.
Kaoru cringed at his touch. "Un." She sat up straight and then looked at Kenshin. "Is there something I can do for you?"
Kenshin returned his hands on his side and then took something from his chest. Kaoru grew curious and then saw it was the pendant. "Do you, remember this?"
Kaoru looked at it. "Kagayaki yorokobi." she smiled and then looked at her front. Kenshin followed her gaze and then saw the huge picture of them. It was the same picture inside the pendant.
"You know, every time I missed you and home, I just opened this locket and when I see you, I feel alright again." Kenshin said as he opened the lid of the locket.
They stared at each other again. "You grew very fast princess. It feels so yesterday when you were a little girl." Kaoru never replied and they just stayed eyeing each other for some time. Kaoru grew conscious and broke the silence.
"Um, is there anything you want to tell me?"
"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot." Kenshin chuckled. "Would your highness be kind enough to join her royal subject downtown?"
Kaoru smiled widely at the sentence. "Sure, my most pathetic vassal. Where will you take your princess?"
"Well, I thought it'd be much better if a woman accompanied me to a wedding planner... To have a, how do you say that again? A woman's touch?" Kenshin raised a brow.
Kaoru forced a smile. "S-sure. I'll just go change."
"That's great. I'll wait for you at the lobby, okay?" Kenshin stood.
"Okay." Kaoru nodded in return and then he gestured to leave.
Kaoru heard the door close and took a heavy sigh. This was so ironic... and hurtful at the same time...
-*-*-*-
The sliding door of the main building opened. The designer's building was at the fifth floor and the two took an elevator that was made of fiber glass and gave them a very nice view of the lower floors.
"Since was the last time we went out together princess?" Kenshin eyed Kaoru which was on his side. Odd, they were the only people in the elevator.
Kaoru had her hands knitted together. "Um, I, I can't remember." She smiled a little bit. It was a long time, that was for sure. Kaoru checked and kept her distance from him. She stared at her red, plaid skirt.
Kaoru heard the beep on the elevator and he gestured for her to go out and placed his free hand on her back. Kaoru eyed her back briefly, but Kenshin seemed not to mind it, and so, she just let him be that way as they walked through the carpeted corridor. A double glass door met Kaoru's eyes. Manikins wearing gowns were on the display window.
Kaoru's eyes were questioning. So this is it. Kenshin was going to get married, huh?
"Kaoru? Is everything fine?" Kenshin asked.
"Ah, hai." Kaoru smiled. She didn't notice she stopped walking.
"Irrashaimase!" An usherette welcomed them. "Mr. Himura Kenshin?"
Kenshin nodded briefly in return.
The usherette bowed slowly, "Douzo." and then gestured them to follow her to what seemed a receiving area. It was lined with sofas with holographic catalogues and brochures on the glass tables.
"Mr. Toriyama will be attending to you in a minute." The usherette then bowed again and left them sitting in the sofa.
Kaoru looked around the whole room--it was empty. Scented candles hushed silently with their enticing aroma while abstract paintings hung on the walls. Kaoru returned her sight to the glass table before her and saw the "Summer-Spring Collection 2020" screen. She pressed the button and out came an erect hologram of bridal gowns.
Some designs were simple but catchy. Others were flaunting and seemed so timeless. Kaoru smiled at each slide she saw.
Kenshin, from his point of view seemed amused at how Kaoru surveyed the catalogue. He knew there was a smile etched on the young girl's lips. Just then, a high pitched voice, somewhat like Kamatari's suddenly broke the silence.
"Himura-san!"
The two quickly got up from their chairs to find a rather slim guy with curly brown hair in black long sleeves and a matching black slacks. Kaoru studied his features and thought he must've a foreign mother. Her qualms were answered when the guy talked.
"Welcome! Welcome!" he shook hands with them and still managed to bow. "I am Michael Toriyama. I believe your Uncle referred me?" he smiled while his hands were clasped near his chest.
A gay?... Kaoru thought. She just smiled to herself and then shrugged the matter off.
"You were so small when I last saw you Himura-san! That time, your Uncle helped me a lot to be where I am today." his eyes were full of "sparkles". How is the old man by the way?"
"Oh, he's fine, thank you." Kenshin returned politely.
Michael saw Kaoru and then let out a sigh of exasperation while his hand was placed slickly on his collar bone. "And you must be Kaoru! Oh my! I can't believe how fast time has flown! But wait, aren't you too young to get married?"
"Well I---" Before Kaoru could explain, Michael grabbed her by the elbow.
"Ah, I get it! Tradition? My mother used to tell me that traditional Japanese women get married early. Come then! I have the perfect gown for you to fit!" Michael started to pull her.
"But I--ah--" Kaoru desperately tried hard to explain but Michael was just too insistent. She looked at Kenshin with a crumpled forehead.
Kenshin just smiled and nodded telling her to just give Michael a chance.
"Come now my dear, it won't take long." Michael sweetly said and then led Kaoru into the backroom.
Kenshin just chuckled to himself and then slouched back on the sofa. Uncle sure has a bunch of friends! He told himself sarcastically.
The room was awfully quiet now, except for a light, instrumental music that played nicely in the room. He pulled the locket from inside his shirt and opened it. Inside, a picture of a young Kaoru greeted him again.
This was something funny... Kaoru being mistaken as his fiancé. Odd though. He didn't even dare try to explain or protest. It felt somewhat...
Right...
There was it again! It was those unknown emotions! How do you define something that has no name anyway? Kaoru was his little girl. He was going to get married? Right? Yeah, he is going to get married. And he loved Marge, right?
Before any more thoughts could flow, Michael's voice rang in the air. "Oh dear! Himura! It's a perfect fit! Here she is!"
Kenshin stood up expectant. What would Kaoru look like? Those few seconds seemed to pass like minutes. Faint footsteps tapped the floor. At first, Kenshin saw Kaoru's sandals. As Kaoru came nearer and nearer, Kenshin thought he forgot how to breathe.
The gown was traditional as well as modern. The upper portion was composed of white lace, cut on the shoulders and fitted lace sleeves that passed her knuckles. On her waist was a patterned sash of yume flowers that looked like an obi and was tied in a neat bow at the back with its excess flowing gracefully downward. The white lace covered half of her thighs while a light pink silk was on top of it from her waist down to the floor. It was cut at the middle so her slender legs were exposed making the gown have an atmosphere of conservativeness and audaciousness at the same time. Her veil had the same color as the silk though it was composed of a very fine material.
Kaoru suddenly became aware of the fixed gaze of Kenshin on her. "W-well???" Kaoru bit her lip.
"Aa...Very nice!" Kenshin smiled. He couldn't think of anything to say! Damn it! What was going on in his head? He didn't know! But when he saw her, he wanted to take her and exchange vows at that instant! What was he thinking!?! He tried to control his surging emotions.
"Isn't she beautiful!?" Michael commented as he fixated on Kaoru. "Ah! I just knew it would fit you so well! So, Himura-san, have you made a decision?"
Kenshin bit his lip. "Um, yeah, it does look nice on Kaoru." he gave her a look. "But, um, there's a little problem."
Michael raised a brow. "What could it be! She looks so perfect! Tell me! Is there something you want or don't with the gown." He was awfully discontented.
"Oro~! Don't get me wrong." Kenshin smiled. "The thing is, Kaoru isn't my bride."
Kaoru's brows faltered. The words seemed to hurt her in some indefinable way.
"Oww!!!" Michael's mouth was in an O-shape and a series of irritating chuckles came out. "Gomen! Gomen! You didn't tell me!"
"Actually, Kaoru would be the maid of honor. I guess bringing her along would make it easier for me to chose the best gown." Kenshin commented.
"Well, if you say so." Michael then called his assistant to accompany Kaoru to change.
"But I must say, Kenshin. Kaoru looked very beautiful in that gown. Who is your fiancé by the way?" Michel gestured for them to sit.
"Her name is Marge Zutherland. I met her in school and we've been going steady for many years now. I can't complain or ask anything more from her. She's just so perfect." Kenshin said with all pride.
"So, when do you plan the wedding then?" A tray of tea was served to both men and Michel gave Kenshin a cup.
"Doumo." He took a sip. "I told Uncle that we'll have it at the same time he'll be having his 50th birthday."
"Aa, sou. Time does fly so fast. I can't believe that Hiko-sama already lived half a century. But from what I know of him, he doesn't seem to age!" Michael chuckled.
"You can say that again. Just look at Kaoru! Isn't she much of an evidence?" Kenshin thoughtfully commented.
"True..." Michael took a quiet sip from his cup. "And of course, time will come when Kaoru will really have to wear that gown..."
Kenshin paused. Of all the things, he never did think of that matter in any way. What if? What if Kaoru's time to become someone else's bride comes, will he be ready for it?
Will he be able to let go of his little princess?
Yes?
Maybe?
No?
He was hesitant. If the man deserved it, then he could give it some consideration. But, who was he? In fact, close as they were, he wasn't in any way, legally related to Kaoru. He wanted to make sure that Kaoru get the best out of everything.
But then, was that what he really wanted?
Or was it something else?
-*-*-*-
Kaoru looked down on the streets from the huge glass window. Here and there, people were busy with their day-to-day activities and they seemed to be always on a rush not minding if they bumped into someone.
She returned her eyes on her food but was met by Kenshin's stare.
"What were you thinking?" Kenshin asked.
Kaoru smiled. "Nothing much."
"C'mon Kaoru. It's not because I wasn't with you for a while doesn't mean I don't know what's going on with your head." Kenshin tapped the table with his index finger.
"Well," Kaoru started as she picked at her food with her chopsticks. "I just realized why human beings can never be happy in his mortal life."
"And why would that be?" Kenshin queried quite intrigued.
"It's because man never stops to find for new things that will make him happy. He doesn't seem contented with what he already has." Kaoru spoke in a clear and forceful manner. "But you cannot blame man anyway...That is his nature...To be selfish..."
Kenshin pursed his lips and then smiled. "I guess you should've taken Philosophy rather than Accountancy instead."
Kaoru took a bite from her breaded shrimp and then drank some water. "Do you think Marge nee-san will like what we have chosen? I, I really have no idea what she likes or so..."
Kenshin chuckled. "Are you kidding?! Marge will surely like it! For some reason, you are almost the same when it comes to things that you like."
Kaoru bowed her head low and then tried to smile. "Ano, I'm sorry, but I guess it's not right to liken someone to another person. I, I just don't appreciate it."
Kenshin was taken aback with Kaoru's words. "Sumanu. I, I didn't know."
"Daijobou." Kaoru smiled and then continued to eat.
Kenshin silently gazed at Kaoru's partly hidden face. Did he just lose the way around Kaoru? He thought he knew her from head to toe. But from what Kaoru has said, it made him realize that Kaoru was somewhat a different person now. Or was that just his hallucination? Sure, she did change physically...could she have changed emotionally too?
That, he didn't know where to get the answer from.
Some things do change with time...
Heck...Even old things can become new again!
All too suddenly, he felt his phone vibrate from his pocket. "Excuse me Kaoru."
"Marge? How are you sweetheart? Yeah I..."
Kaoru eyed Kenshin from her bangs. Words from his mouth seemed to vanish. All she could see was the motion of it.
Sumanu...I, I didn't know.
What do you know Kenshin? What do you know about me?
Kaoru silently asked no one...
Tsuzuko
-*-*-*-
A/N: Minna, gomen if this chapter is so short! And sorry for the late update. You see, everything's busy cuz my graduation's coming up fast and a lot of things are happening.
animegurl23 - Yeah, and I'm so sorry if soon wasn't so soon enuf! :-/
lilk0ko - Aww, I'm very much sorry for keeping you waiting! I just hope this chap didn't suck!
Kyasuri - Konnichiwa! You're a new name! ^^ Hehe, thanks for reading and reviewing! about ur earlier questions, dono is a very polite and "distant" suffix while hime means "princess".
Kyo Terayashi - Now lemme gez, this chappy was kind of dull, wasn't it? Sowi... Thanx for the nice review!
kawaiililaznkistune - Seems everybody changed their names. ?.? Do you think I need to change my pen name too?
Kitsuen KeNsHiN - Hehe..I guess you're not mad that I updated so late? Thanx again!
Midnight Dreamz - And he's in confusion too! ^^ Lookie here, wedding gowns are prepared already!
Naoko - Ah yes, the holidays went on fine! I hope you had a very good one too! Doumo!
Kiyoshi-chan - ::hugs:: how have you been? Well, like what you said, till the next chapter!
Peach - Oro... Wakatta. Understood. As in very clear. (T.T)
ixchen - It's time to plug in then! ^^ Revelations will come up anytime soon, so just wait,k?
CharlieTheOtakuNymph - Hmm, no sign of Aoshi-Kenshin here. The next chapters, I presume.
MZ. Amber Eyes - Ow, I'm so flattered. Don't worry, Kenshin will suffer good! I promise you that! ^^
DeeDee-Chan - ::gives you Marge:: There! You're free to do whatever you want to do! ^^ Well, in this story, Misao is paired with Soujiro while Aoshi is paired with Kaoru who is also paired with Kenshin--a bizarre love triangle! And about Tomoe, well, like what I said to MZ. Amber Eyes, Tomoe is very commonly used in many fics that I decided not to use her anymore.
flyingangel17 - Yeah, school is killing me too. Specially now that I'm bout to graduate.
shel - That's fine! Hey, since ur a kababayan pala e, why not text me if you got time. 09162680959,k? Well, ako, heh, medyo heartbroken. Geez! I hate break-up blues! You can't blame me anyway. Halos 2 years kami nung gagong boyfriend ko! Duh! Whatever! Till next time! If you happen to live in Manila, e di, maybe by June we can meet somewhere cuz I'm gonna study na there. UST siguro or San Beda.
QueenKagom - ::smiles:: well, i do hope I get a new pc! Maybe not, cuz I chose a celfone. ::sigh:: It's a sony ericsson T610! Bwahahahaha!!! ^^
Female Sesshoumarou - Hehe, good thing Aoshi and Kenshin haven't formally yet at this moment. I'm sorry if I still haven't read your fic cuz it has been so busy, but don't worry! I'll check on it by and by!
friend - Well, like they say, it's better late than never!
wolfpack - Don't worry, the ending will be, of course K/K. But there will be an alternate ending which is A/K.
Himura Kamiya Kaoru - Ah, but I insist! I have to read yours too! Here's mine, so play fair! LOL... ^^
Naiya-chan - Oh gosh, you're flattering me so much! I just hope that this chappie isn't soo boring cuz I think it practically is lifeless. (O.O) Thank you for the very nice review!
Aryane - Well, you know Kenshin and he's such a dumbass, and it would take a lot more than this to knock him in the head!
Randomxthoughts - Don't worry! This is a K/K fic! The A/K ending is just an alternative to those who want the A/K pairing.
Jade Catseye - Yep, this is a K/K fic. Thanks for enjoyin the ficcie!
Boomerang-chan - Aww, how heart warming! To say your favorite RK fic is such an honor! I mean, there are a lot of awesome RK fics out there, but hey, I don't what to say! Just a big THANK YOU!
Fuuko-san - Ang laki ng utang na loob ko sa'yo! I mean, I was just so stupid to attempt suicide. And because of that, pagbubutihan ko pa tong fic na to. Don't worry you'll have your A/K ending! Count on it!
dewey - O, you better wait for that "Kenshin suffering" saga. It'll be very...ummm...I don't know how to term it! Bleh...
Emma-mae - Thank you for liking the fic! Do continue to read it!
lisa - Hey, thanks for the e-mail! Um, okay.
Maryel - Did you know that my real name is Mariel? Hehe...pretty close, huh? Thanks!
Ginny cry - Well, I'm glad you like it. Well, maybe one reason is because I am devoted to RK. and the other one would be because of you awesome people who don't get tired in reading this fic!
donna8157 - Yup.Two endings. Well, to satisfy the audience since an equal number want it to be K/K and A/K.
Angel338 - As you can see, Kenshin came home alone. Thanks for the review!
Pia Bartolini - And this chapter totally screwed up! I don't know?! Writer's block I presume.
yuhi-thedoerofevildeeds - Hey, I missed you! Well, I hope this chap eased the tension. Medyo nakarest ang inyong mga minds..hehehe...
KAORU KAMIYA - Well, ::scratches head:: Kaoru meant to say that, "If only Kenshin knew that she had feelings for her." Did I clear that up? ^^
Clemen - So am I. I can't wait to finish this ficcie!
nyllemnev - Yep. A full-blooded filipina here! ^^
Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85:P - Thanks! ^^
RK LuVa - That, I can't answer for now since it'll spoil the suspense. All i can tell you is to read and wait for the next chapters.
sephirya - Like what I said, this is a K/K fic, but since some folks are in-love with A/K, there will be an alternative ending.
LittleDragon5 - I'm thrilled that you even stay pass your bedtime to read the last chapter.
M@ry - and I missed you too! well, guess a lot of people did like the last chap. I hope this one's worth the wait.
Aura Jade - Happy ending it is! But I'm sure you would love to see Kenshin suffer, huh? Don't worry, you'll have that chance ^^