Every Little Thing
By Hikari-chan
Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan. All characters that you recognize are copyright to Gosho Aoyoma. I wrote this for personal entertainment purposes only and make no profit from it.
Notes: Inspired entirely by a song I heard on the radio while driving to work. Bits and pieces were written at various times, so if there's a lack of continuity, I'm sorry. The story is from Ran's point of view (kind of) as she notices all the little things Conan does for Ai.
-----Ran wasn't sure when she first noticed it, just as she wasn't sure when she first started to lose him – if he was ever hers to begin with.
The day that she found out the truth felt like it was years ago, but in fact, it was only a few months ago that he had sat her down in the Mouri Detective Agency and confirmed that sneaking suspicion that she had always had in the back of her mind.
Edogawa Conan and Kudo Shinichi were the same person.
He had hidden the truth in order to protect her from a mysterious organization that was arrested and disbanded the night before, but he had lied to her nonetheless. Despite the turmoil of emotion that she had felt, Ran had forgiven him...after a little while.
He was only waiting for the completion of his antidote now, and she was patiently waiting with him. It seemed easier now that she knew he was there, but he had also chosen to move into Agasa-hakase's house to save both of them some embarrassment. He didn't tell her more than that. She assumed Agasa-hakase was working on his antidote, but he never confirmed it. He also asked her not to tell anyone else. The explanation involved would be more work than necessary. After hearing his story, Ran was inclined to agree. Besides, it was special to her, the fact that he trusted her with this secret. It was romantic in an odd way.
All this, of course, was before she started to watch him, to really see Shinichi beneath Conan's exterior. The first time she remembered was a rainy afternoon.
Conan had agreed to accompany her to the supermarket that day. She had asked him to come to the Detective Agency for dinner. "Meitantei" Mouri Kogorou's business had diminished greatly after Conan moved to Agasa-hakase's. Of course, now that Ran knew Conan was really Shinichi, it didn't take a genius to put two and two together and realize her father wasn't really a great detective after all. Dinner was both an excuse to spend some time with Shinichi and to give her dad some help on his newest case.
And then it had started to rain outside.
It wouldn't have been very remarkable...if the first thing Conan said hadn't been "I wonder if Haibara brought an umbrella."
"Is Ai-chan out?" Ran had asked.
"Yea," he replied almost absentmindedly. "She said she was going to the convenience store for Hakase just before I left."
"It's been a little while," Ran had answered. "She's probably home by now."
An exasperated expression appeared on Conan's face. "The last time I was at the convenience store with her, she took half an hour just to pick out the milk," he told her. "Haibara has this strange habit of reading the ingredients in everything she buys. Something about Hakase on a diet."
Ran felt a smile break out onto her face. "That's cute though," she commented.
Conan, or rather the Shinichi in Conan, had lifted his eyebrow at her and replied with a flat, "You mean odd, right?"
They had pretty much finished their shopping by then. Conan took a look at his watch, and then turned to look at her.
"Hey Ran, I'll come by in a bit. I just want to head over and see if Haibara brought her umbrella," he had said. "Knowing the fates, she'll end up sick and Hakase'll end up out of town, which means I'll end up having to take care of her."
He gave her that cocky grin of his, a wave, and with a kick of his skateboard, he was gone.
Ran hadn't thought much more of it than Shinichi caring for a friend...until she realized she hadn't brought an umbrella either.
-----The next time it had happened was when she picked him up from school. She hadn't seen him in a little over a week and thought she'd visit the elementary school. Maybe they could go out for a snack and a drink at the coffee shop and chat a little.
She was waiting just outside the front doors when the school let out. There were many kids that ran by and looked at her, but she recognized none of them. Eventually, she had spotted the Shounen Tantei, Ayumi, Mitsuhiko, and Genta, arguing about something on their way out.
"Konnichiwa, Ayumi-chan, Mitsuhiko-kun, Genta-kun," Ran had greeted them with her usual bright smile.
"Ran-nee-chan!" Ayumi was the first to reply.
"What are you doing here?" Genta then asked her.
"I'm just here to see how Conan-kun's doing," Ran had smiled. "It's been a little while since I've seen him."
All three kids looked back at the entrance of the school. "I think he stayed behind to help Haibara-san clean up the classroom," Mitsuhiko answered, a thoughtful look coming onto his face.
"Yea, Midori-chan was sick today, so Conan-kun volunteered to help," Ayumi added.
It was then that Genta peeked at the watch on Ran's wrist and started to panic. "Ah, that new cartoon is going to start soon! We need to hurry or we'll miss the opening song!" he exclaimed.
And just as quickly as they had appeared, the three had hurried down the street after the other kids. Ran decided to wait a little while more, and sure enough, another five minutes later, two more children could be seen walking leisurely down the empty hallway from the other side of the glass doors. Neither Conan nor Ai seemed to have noticed her waiting for them yet, as they appeared to be deep in conversation about something. The look on Conan's face, however, told Ran he was losing whatever disagreement he was having with the other girl.
The young man-turned-boy reached up for the handle to the door and pushed it, holding it open for the girl next to him.
"There are things in life that are not meant to be understood, Edogawa-kun."
The two walked out just in time for Ran to catch the end of Ai's last comment.
"That's what detectives and scientists are for, Haibara," he replied. "We try to solve or understand mysteries, no matter what kind they are."
"There are only two things in the world that are limitless," Ai paraphrased, "the universe, and human stupidity."
The two figures paused in the middle of the front steps of the elementary school. The wind blew gently, making the ends of Ai's auburn tresses and the tips of Conan's black hair dance in the air. For a moment, Ran felt like an outsider watching a movie that she did not understand. She could see the frown marring Conan's face, and he was Shinichi now, no matter what size he was.
"What do you mean by that?"
A heavy pause followed the question, and Ran wondered if she failed to understand their conversation because she had missed the first half of it, or because of something else.
"I merely do not wish for my life to be defined by human stupidity," Ai finally answered, turning away from him and continuing down the steps.
Conan looked like he was about to say something else to her, but that was when they both noticed Ran, who was standing some yards away from the steps and looking at them almost curiously. Their strange conversation had ended there, and no matter how Ran tried, Shinichi would not tell her what they were talking about.
-----
The feeling that she was an outsider had appeared again on a sunny afternoon on their way home from cram school. With finals coming up, Ran had enrolled herself in some late afternoon classes to keep up with her studies, and Conan had convinced her to bring him. He insisted that he needed to keep up with his own studies, for when he returns to being Shinichi, so he became the kid who needed a babysitter and sat next to her in cram class. While the rest of the world thought he was happily colouring, he was actually taking notes on calculus, which Ran thought was amusing, if anything.
The two were walking home one afternoon when they passed by a flower shop. Conan had stopped and stared at the fresh pink lilies in the shop window.
"I didn't know you liked flowers, Shi-I mean, Conan-kun," Ran had commented, catching her slip. They had agreed it was best to be "Conan-kun" and "Ran-nee-chan" in public.
"Huh? Oh, Haibara seems depressed lately. I was just wondering if I could cheer her up," he had replied.
"Does Ai-chan like flowers?" Ran had asked.
Conan's answer was inaudible, but to Ran, it had sounded like "I'm sure she loves dissecting them", which just couldn't be right because Ai-chan was a little girl, right?
"What did you say?" Ran frowned.
Conan looked up at her with one of those innocent I-didn't-do-it smiles. "I don't know. I just know she doesn't like roses," he stated.
Ran was curious. Girls usually loved roses, specifically red – given to them by the one they like, of course. "How come?"
Conan shrugged, once again turning into Shinichi as he murmured thoughtfully, "I've never asked, seeing as how she would never tell me anyways, but I think it has something to so with her sister's death. She always glares at them as though they remind her of something unpleasant."
"Ai-chan has a sister?" Ran asked, obviously surprised.
Conan, no, Shinichi looked up at her. "Yea, but don't ask about it. Haibara doesn't like to talk about it."
"Oh," Ran had answered.
Conan smiled at her again and headed into the flower shop. A few minutes later, he came back with a large pink lily in one hand and a red rose in the other. He handed her the rose.
"For you, Ran-nee-chan," he grinned.
Ran smiled and accepted it. "Thank you."
Conan looked at his watch then. "I have to go. I'll see you next week!"
Ran waved as he hurried down the street. She smiled sadly at the rose in her hand. Shinichi had presented her with a red rose, and yet she felt like something was amiss. The rose, so plainly stating his love, seemed to pale in comparison the lily he had bought for Haibara Ai, and Ran questioned herself all the way home.
Why did it feel like that?
But deep down, she knew why. The rose seemed to have been an afterthought. Shinichi had first stopped at the flower shop because he wanted to buy a lily for Ai-chan, not because he wanted to buy a rose for her. And even though she knew she shouldn't feel this way, because Shinichi had remembered her, she couldn't help but feel second to another girl.
-----
Today had been the last straw. She knew it as surely as she knew Shinichi loved mysteries.
On the way home from a little outing at the amusement park with the Shounen Tantei, the little group of six had encountered yet another mysterious murder case, which, of course, they could not and did not pass up. Ran had even smiled and whispered to Conan that he seemed to attract mysteries no matter what his size, at which he had scowled before starting his investigation.
Ran had watched him work, and wondered with each distinct movement why she had never been able to confirm her suspicions earlier. Conan moved and acted exactly like Shinichi. She should have seen the evidence a long time ago.
The kids themselves were also poking around here and there, and getting scolded, of course. The only person of the group who didn't seem to be interested at all was Haibara Ai. The little girl stood beside Ran, her arms crossed, her expression carefully neutral. Curious to the indifferent behaviour, Ran kneeled down in front of the girl.
"Aren't you interested in the case, Ai-chan?" she had asked.
Ai looked back at her with eyes that were overly intelligent for her age, just like Conan's were. Those turquoise seas seemed to search her soul for something before answering.
"I am merely not interested in getting yelled at," she answered quietly. "Edogawa-kun does a fine job of that for both of us."
Ran had laughed lightly. "Conan-kun does get into trouble a lot, doesn't he?" she replied.
"That is not how I would describe him," Ai stated.
Ran cocked her head curiously, waiting for Ai to continue, but the girl merely turned her eyes towards the approaching figure of the boy with oversized glasses.
"Oi, Haibara," he started.
"Yes, Corpse-magnet?" the girl raised an eyebrow in his direction.
"Don't call me that," Conan frowned.
"Why not? I could probably sell you for a couple hundred dollars on Ebay with that title," she deadpanned.
Conan chose to ignore her this time around. "I just wanted to ask you if you think there's something wrong with this scene."
She smirked at him. "Why would the Great Detective come asking for my help?"
"Never mind," Conan decided, an annoyed expression on his face.
Ran watched as Conan turned his back to them and walked a couple of steps before Ai interjected. "I would not choose to die by drowning."
Conan turned back around, a confused look on his face.
"Drowning is one of the worst ways to die," Ai continued. "One quite literally feels every bit of death as it claims you. If I committed suicide, I would not choose drowning."
The light bulb seemed to turn on in Conan's head, and he turned to Ran so quickly that she was afraid he might suffer from whiplash.
"Ran, can I borrow you to solve the case?"
"Huh?"
Conan, or rather Shinichi, quickly gave her instructions about what to do and proceeded to solve the case for the police. Ran thought it very strange to hear Shinichi's deduction in her voice, although she had known that he used her father's voice before; but she was more surprised that Ai was able to complete some of his sentences as the crowd followed his, well, her deduction.
And it was then that she knew what was wrong with her relationship with Shinichi. There was something missing on a spiritual level, something she had not been able to grasp, but that Haibara Ai had obviously gotten a good hold on. As the police dispersed and the crowd left, Ran once again noticed the two quietly discussing something some yards away. And then she realized it: Haibara Ai must be as much a child as Conan was – which was not at all. The way her eyes took in the situation around her, the way she talked, the way she was able to come close to Conan on an intellectual level – they all added up.
Ayumi, Genta, and Mitsuhiko had taken to playing a small game of tag around the park, and Ran approached the conversing not-quite-children.
"I'm working on the final stages of the antidote," Ai was saying softly. "It should be ready soon."
"Hmm," Conan murmured.
Ai glanced at him. "I thought you'd be more excited than that," she replied flatly. "I'm working hard to restore your life, you know."
"I do know," Conan replied quietly. "I should be more excited, but after all this time, it seemed to have died out – my enthusiasm, I mean."
"Shinichi."
Both Conan and Ai turned to look up at her, and as Ran watched the unsurprised expression on Ai's face, she knew she had confirmed her suspicions. She turned to look down at the girl instead.
"You're not a little girl," she stated softly.
Both figures in front of her were silent, as though they were undecided as to what they could say to her. Ran watched as a few looks passed silently between them, and once again, she was back in that schoolyard, watching a movie she just could not understand.
"You said you told me the truth, Shinichi," Ran couldn't help but accuse him.
Conan sighed as he ran a hand through his wind-blown hair. "I did," he confirmed. "Everything I told you was the truth."
"You didn't tell me about Ai-chan," Ran continued.
"That is not my story to tell," Conan replied. "I have no right to tell it for her, just like she would never tell anyone else about me without my permission."
And suddenly, Ran understood. She knew why her relationship with Shinichi had seemed different, why it seemed like there was something missing. She and Shinichi were no longer the same people they were before he shrunk. If Haibara Ai was making an antidote for him, then she must also be in Shinichi's situation. It was Haibara Ai who was there for him as he suffered in his shrunken state, Haibara Ai who understood what he was going through, and Haibara Ai who shared the experience of taking down the biggest criminal organization in Japan with him.
He had too many experiences that she did not. By hiding his identity to keep her safe, he had also effectively shut her out of his life, his real life. She didn't understand his conversations with Ai because they understood each other at a level that required few words, and those unspoken words caused her confusion. And despite Conan, or rather Shinichi, telling her that he loved her, expressing what he consciously felt, sometimes, it was the little things that stood out, the little things that mattered.
Ran knew, as she replayed all the times they had spent together since she knew he was Conan, that he must love Ai, but on an unconscious level. At the same time, all the little things he did that she had dismissed before suddenly became so obvious to her.
"Shinichi," she said quietly, "why do you want to become, well, big, again?"
Conan looked surprised. "Why wouldn't I want to become myself again?" he asked, confused.
Ai glanced between the two of them, and sensing it was a conversation that didn't involve her, she interrupted, "Edogawa-kun, I'm going to go back to Hakase's."
Conan turned to her. "Why don't you just call it home, Haibara?" He smiled at her. "You know that's what it is."
Ai rolled her eyes. "Dinner's at 7," she said instead, and without so much as a wave, she left to find the rest of the Shounen Tantei and head home.
Ran watched Conan watch Ai leave, and she couldn't help the sad smile that broke onto her face.
"You have nothing to come back for, Shinichi. No," she corrected herself, "Conan-kun."
"What do you mean, Ran?" Conan asked, now completely confused. "I have my parents, my friends, my life, and you."
"Conan-kun, your parents will accept you no matter what age you look like. If I know your mother, she probably loves you more as a child," Ran said, causing Conan to make a face. "You have friends even as Edogawa Conan – more of them in fact. You also have a life as Edogawa Conan."
"And what about you?" Conan asked quietly. "I love you, but I can't love you like this."
Ran kneeled down in front of him, looking deeply into his ocean blue eyes. "You'll always have me, Shinichi," she told him. "We'll always be friends."
A long silence dragged on between them before Conan dared to question, "Are you telling me to stay this way because you don't love me?"
Tears fell slowly from Ran's face, and Conan reached up to wipe them away with his fingers.
"I love you, Shinichi. I still do," she whispered. "But the Shinichi I love died the day we went to Tropical Island. You're not the same person I knew then."
"I am!" Conan insisted.
"Even if you are, you love someone else, and I can't take you away from her."
"I don't love someone else! Who else could I possibly love?" Conan demanded.
"Ai-chan."
A deadpan look crossed Conan's face. "You have got to be kidding me."
"Shinichi, just think about it," Ran replied. "I notice…every little thing you do for her. You can deny it all you want, but in the end, it's the little things that are going to prove me right. You feel love for me on a conscious level, but love shouldn't be like that. You don't need to know you're in love to be in love."
And Ran left, turning away as tears flowed down her smooth cheeks, but Conan didn't go after her. He didn't chase her. He could only watch as his first love left, the wind sending the cherry blossoms around him into a merry dance, the fading light of the sun reflecting on the pond's undisturbed surface. He turned and walked across the grassy green, the sound of his footsteps lost in the mossy texture. Ran had told him to think about it, but in truth, he already knew the answer.
Dinner was at 7. He had exactly 43 minutes to get home and tell Haibara that she could stop working on that antidote.
-----
End of Story.
Word Count: 3501 words