MY LITTLE PRINCESS
A/N: Hellow! Everyone! Well, here's the next chap. I decided to make one (in spite of my tangled web of schedules and to-do things before my flight) so you won't be all too mad at me...hehe...I really can't believe I'll be leaving on August 3 for Singapore! So um, please do bear with me if the next chap comes in a little more than late, ne? (yah, I know I'm always late when it comes to updating).
Once I arrive in Singapore, a lot of things will come crashing in and, I still have to wait for my new laptop for like a week or two. I really dunno. hehe...O, btw, I had a chance to watch Spidey2 last June 30. It was amazing! yep! ::hands down:: Okie, so let us start.
Disclaimer: RK is not mine. Just borrowing 'em for a while though so you people won't end up killing me. Please do not sue.
Warnings: OOC as usual... bleh... (I really wanna finish this fic once and for all! It's getting mushy too mushy and unrealistic, don't you think?) ::sweatdrops::
Thank yous: I AM DEEPLY SORRY IF I AM NOT ABLE TO REPLY TO YOUR COMMENTS/QUESTIONS FROM THE LAST CHAPTER BECAUSE I AM SOOOO BUSY, AND I REALLY SQUEEZED MY SCHEDULE TO FINISH THIS CHAP. BUT WITH ALL MY HEART, THANK YOU VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH. I LOVE YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENTS! SO TO PLAY FAIR, I MADE THIS A LITTLE LONGER THAN USUAL. ENJOY!!!
Notes: Please be patient for the other characters to show up. The next chapters will deal about Kenshin, Kaoru and Aoshi's "crossed" paths. It's 1:51 AM as I make final revisions on this chap. Tomorrow, we'll be leaving for Manila. And from that on, I'll be extremely busy!
Ages: Same as in the last chapter.
Chapter 24. Questions With No Answers
"Something bothering you Kaoru?" Aoshi asked with a low tone as he eyed a seemingly subconscious Kaoru.
"Eh? S-sorry, were you asking something?" Kaoru broke from her stupor and met Aoshi's questioning eyes.
"I was asking if something was bothering you." Aoshi shifted from his Indian sit and spread his long legs half folded on the grass while his lean hands went atop them.
Kaoru gave a short laugh. "W-who me? O-of course not. I'm fine."
Aoshi didn't answer and looked down on the styrofoam bowl clasped between her slender fingers. Kaoru followed his stare and then looked up at him again.
"Well," Aoshi started looking at his timepiece. "We've been sitting here for maybe um, 30 minutes."
Kaoru half nodded unsure what Aoshi was talking about.
"And," Aoshi looked at her again as he let his hand return to his side. "We ordered your salad before that."
Kaoru looked down on the still untouched bowl on her hand and then heard Aoshi clattering something in the air. It was an empty styrofoam bowl with a plastic fork inside it.
"See? Mine's already finished, and you haven't even started yet."
Kaoru sighed in apology and placed the salad bowl beside her. She pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on the soft material of her jeans.
"I'm sorry." She returned meekly.
"C'mon, what's wrong with you?" Aoshi asked again as he kept his concerned stare on her.
Kaoru sighed again. Her eyes surveyed the green and peaceful lawn. The weather seemed to be perfectly perfect, and she always loved this place. Rarely do people come in that God blessed prairie. Trees were lush and flowers bloomed everywhere, especially that it's Spring.
It was a place that Aoshi always brought her to escape the noisy and tiring city. How he found it, Kaoru didn't exactly know. They were sitting in their favorite spot, under an old Oak tree that stood in an elevated slope.
"Am I selfish?" she asked in very weak voice.
Aoshi didn't answer right away. He craned his head to see the farthest view he could see. Blinking twice, he answered without looking at her. "We all are selfish at times, Kaoru. We won't be human if we're not."
A small smile crept upon Kaoru's lips and her worries suddenly became lighter. "You know, boss, you shouldn't be training for a ship liner business."
"Oh? Where then?" Aoshi eyed her.
Kaoru bit her lip and smiled widely. "Up in a mountain, with Buddhists and monks."
Aoshi controlled his laughter but still smiled back. "And you, you shouldn't be training as a financial analyst. You should be in a drama series."
Kaoru's eyes queered and stuck a tongue at him.
"So, I win again, I guess." Aoshi said with a sly smile.
Both kept quiet after that and a gust of wind blew over them for a few seconds as if returning Kaoru's thoughts earlier.
She couldn't understand why she felt so guilty. Days has passed since Kenshin told her about Marge's unfortunate death but it felt like it was just a minute ago. She tried to act as if everything was normal, but there was a great contradiction inside of her. A great battle of her thoughts and feelings and her own standing in Kenshin's life.
Who was she to Kenshin? What will she ever be to him? Worse, should she do anything or nothing at all?
She wanted to scream but everything felt like it swelled up inside her. Those mixed feelings had been inside her system since Kenshin talked to her that night.
Kaoru heard Aoshi get up, and before she knew it, he was already in front of her. Without any word, he pulled her gently unto him.
She willingly let her lithe body be cradled in his tender hold. Aoshi was always like this. He never questioned more than once, but he always knew when Kaoru was in total remorse. He would amuse her with witty but funny sentences, and if that fails, he would always give her a shoulder to cry on.
Kaoru felt the soft texture of Aoshi's black cotton sweater. Her tears came down all of a sudden without her even knowing it.
"I never meant it to be that way!" came her muffled voice. "No, I never...never." Kaoru went on shuddering.
Aoshi whispered a murmur of assurance. Sure, he didn't understand what was going on with Kaoru, and he didn't have any plan on digging about it.
All he had in mind was to be there for her.
Like he always did.
Why?
He guessed even 'he' didn't know the answer.
Or maybe, he was just afraid that he already knew the answer or was just desperately trying hard to fight it off.
It was only around this raven-haired girl that he felt he was accepted. And the only thing he could do in return was to back her up always.
He pat her back gently and still never said a word. He lost track of how many times he had shared moments like this with her before. From their unexpected meeting at the balcony that fateful night, he would have never thought that a certain Kamiya Kaoru even existed.
Kaoru's tears finally subsided and was now down to the occasional sniffs. Slowly, she released her hold on Aoshi and looked at him with tear-stained eyes.
"Thank you..." she said in a wobbly voice followed by a quick sniff.
Aoshi gave out a low chuckle as the breeze briefly brushed his long, black bangs. He reached out a pair of fingers and squeezed Kaoru's nose ever so quickly.
"Mou..." Kaoru returned in a whisper but gave a short smile as those blue-green eyes beamed at her.
Kaoru saw the gold-red sky through a hazy vision. Sunset came without any notice at all. And as if it's the epitome of the unnoticed sunset, Aoshi stood up to pick his coat. With quick and sure movements, he placed the coat around Kaoru's shoulders.
Kaoru pulled the coat closer and sighed. "Naze..."
Aoshi looked down at her as he shoved his hands inside his jeans.
"Why do you never ask?" Kaoru asked meekly, her eyes fixed on looking at the grass beneath her.
Aoshi kept his eyes on the horizon admiring the impeccable art of nature. He breathed in a gulp of air and shrugged his broad shoulders.
"Why do you ask?" he spoke with a sober but comforting voice.
Kaoru's eyes widened at his words. Closing them, she returned, "I'm sorry...I should've never asked that..."
The wind blew once again as Aoshi kept quiet.
Because I don't have to, Kaoru... He inwardly told himself.
"I think it's getting cold. C'mon, I'll bring you home." Aoshi looked down at her, sincerity in his eyes as he handed out his hand towards her.
"Un." Kaoru pursed her lips and nimbly took his hand to help her get up.
----
"How come you never told us earlier?" Hiko wiped the clay off his hands and looked at his newly created jar with an air of satisfaction.
"I didn't really know what to even think about that time, Uncle." Kenshin returned.
He stood outside, leaning on the doorway of Hiko's small pottery shed.
Clay jars of all sizes and shapes lined the shelves of the shed's walls. Kenshin never knew there was such a place inside the compound.
"So, are you still feeling dope?" Hiko asked not looking at him.
"A little, I guess." Kenshin replied as he watched Hiko pick up a jar from one corner of the shed.
Hiko didn't answer back. He sat on one of the stools and placed the smoothed jar between his out-stretched legs.
"What do you plan to do now?" Hiko asked as he took a medium-sized paint brush and dipped it on a red paint container. He then proceeded to make decorations on the jar's surface with swift and amazing strokes.
"Work here, of course. I have no other choice." Kenshin retorted looking out on the setting sun.
"Kaoru knows about this?" Hiko asked as he continued with his craft.
Kenshin nodded without a sound. He knew Hiko had his hawk-like eyes on him even though he was busy working, so he didn't much less say a word.
There was a moment of silence. Kenshin's mind delved into that night when he cried out in Kaoru's arms. His grief was unnamed, but he found peace and solace within her presence.
"Kaoru--she grew up so fast, didn't she?" Kenshin half-smiled still looking at the dusk sky.
Hiko snorted. "Idiot. That's because you were never here all along. Put yourself in my shoes and you'll see her in a different kind of view."
The smile that was once on his lips faded away as his head bowed low. He wanted to say something about the matter, but he felt unworthy.
Unworthy because despite the very promise that he made to take care of his little princess, he wasn't at all able to fulfill it. He wondered if he still can chase time right now--but at his present state, well, he was really in doubt.
"She told me a friend of hers hired her, is that true?" Kenshin queried raising his head back and leaned it back.
"You must mean Shinomori." Hiko returned, half asking, half stating. "I think they're both still in training." he supplied as he dipped the paint brush in water.
Kenshin blinked looking up at the ceiling. "Oh..." he just blurted out.
For the uncountable time, he came across the name Shinomori. How it got to everyday casual conversation, he was unsure. Half of him wanted to meet who this guy was, and the other half protests to do so.
Why?
Again, he was totally unsure.
"You, ah, know the guy, met him or something?" Kenshin craned his neck on one side parallel to Hiko's direction.
Hiko dipped the paintbrush on a blue paint and then tested it on a damp cloth. "Yes, of course. He's been with Kaoru since high school or so."
"With? You allow Kaoru to--" Kenshin's brow furrowed in curiosity but Hiko cut him off.
"It's not what you think, stupid. They had been very good friends." he then dipped the paintbrush for a second time on the blue paint. "And besides, Kaoru can make her own decision about those matters. I can't see anywhere for me to fit in to that, and neither do you."
Kenshin didn't answer. Perhaps his Uncle was right. They had absolutely no business about it.
Then again, maybe his uncle had no business about it, but how about himself?
Was there any place for him to fit in for that matter?
Yes?
No?
Maybe?
He wished they never talked about it from the beginning.
----
Kaoru sat on the polished corridor, her legs up drawn. She has just finished doing a couple of exercises and she decided to rest for a while before sleeping.
With her training gi still on, she sat like that for the past few minutes with only the moon as her light on that part of the house. She assessed her surroundings and the lights on everyone else's bedroom were off, so she thought they were all asleep.
It felt good to have the quietness around her. For days, she has been trying to sort her thoughts out about everything that has happened. Where should she place her stand? It was confusing than she could have ever imagined. Opposing feelings bombarded at each other every once in a while.
Beads of sweat still clung on to her forehead and her limbs were also perspiring. With a sigh she decided to remove her hakama, and with a quick rustle of cloth, she laid it on one side and wiped the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand.
Her feet returned to their original position a while ago and she hugged them with her slender arms.
Why should people always have to chose over something?... he asked herself in contempt.
Marge...she must've been so beautiful... Maybe, she always smelled so sweet, and, and talked very soft too... her thoughts came running down.
She was very kind, and she helped people a lot ...Maybe, she never had a frown on her face even though she was tired... And maybe she knew how to cook delicious food...
Kaoru hugged herself tighter. And that's why Kenshin loved her so much... because... because...
Kaoru bit her lower lip. "Because she is so unlike me..." she whispered painfully to herself.
But why? I was ready to accept it! Why did she have to die?!! she shouted at herself.
A pearl of tear found its way out of her eye. And was then followed by another one from the other, and another one again.
God...she dipped her face down while tears wet her cheeks and her knees. Why did she have to die?...
Her shoulders were shuddering, and there was no Aoshi to comfort her this time around.
It's unfair...why must I feel like I'm the one responsible for hr death??? Shouldn't I...
Her thoughts trailed off in a painful sob.
Just all too quickly, a pair of arms took her into their caring embrace. Without her knowing it, she leaned on the comforting hold.
"It's unfair..." she wept.
"Shouldn't I be happy as well?" came an oft repeated phrase.
"I hate myself!" she blurted with a sniff.
"Shhhhh...enough with those things..." a voice hushed.
Kaoru was taken aback and her crying slowly abated. For a second there, she thought it was Aoshi who was holding and rocking her. But then, there's no way he'd be there, right?
Through an obscure vision caused by her tears, she saw red hair on one's shoulder.
It couldn't be...
Looking up in disbelief, her tear-stricken eyes saw Kenshin looking down at her with worry.
"Kaoru, is there something bothering you?" Kenshin asked.
Kaoru moved her head sideways and wiped her tears silently.
"Then why were you crying?" Kenshin asked again.
Kaoru moved her head sideways again a little bit faster and hid her face from Kenshin's view.
"Kaoru, please, tell me what's wrong with you." Kenshin asked for the third time, anxiety present in his voice.
Kaoru bit her lip and whimpered. I don't really need your questions right now Kenshin no baka... she told herself agonizingly.
Kenshin slowly took her face by the chin and slowly moved her face to meet with his. He looked at her with furrowed brows.
Kaoru gazed at his face for the first time since she could ever remember doing so. A lot of things changed in his features too. Not to mention the cross-shaped scar. A reminder of his painful past. She was captivated by his violet orbs that seemed to hypnotize her.
I need...I need...you... she guilty confessed to herself.
Kenshin studied her worried face with sincere compassion. He wanted to do nothing but to take away that worry plastered on her face, if not find out what was causing it.
The last time he laid his eyes close to her like this was a long time ago... And it wasn't a very pleasant one too. The difference is, she was asleep at that time. She was beautiful then, but she was more of that right now.
Kenshin suddenly grew aware of the fact that Kaoru was almost sitting on his lap, and that she was wearing only a gi that reached past her pelvis. Her long legs shimmered in the dark.
He quickly returned his stare on her face and saw her gulp. Her perfect throat led him to discover her well-shaped upper body and the deep-V of her neckline. He gulped as well and blinked slowly, his breathing pace turning a little uneasy.
Kaoru's lips were slightly trembling and she was sure she was already blushing, but she couldn't help staring at him.
Clearing her throat, she broke the eye contact and spoke. "I, I'm alright. I, I have to sleep now."
Kaoru slowly stood up with a little help from Kenshin and then quickly picked up her hakama on the floor.
With a swift bow, she said goodnight to Kenshin and walked to her room closing the door behind her without a sound.
His mouth was half open when Kaoru closed the door because he was going to say goodnight too, but never got a chance to say or ask anything more.
With a deep sigh, he tangled his fingers onto his hair and looked up at the night sky. That "thing" happened to him once again and he wasn't at all too happy about it.
His heart beat loudly at his chest.
"No, Kenshin, no..." he murmured to himself.
----
Kaoru had her back on the shouji door, her head craned up. The hakama that was clasped by her left hand limply fell on the fall with a quick rasp. Her heart was still beating wildly beneath her and she took her free hand to put pressure on it.
Her cheeks were still hot from a while ago, and it was only the darkness of the room that calmed her, for at least this moment.
She closed her eyes tightly. She didn't need any more torture than what she was already going through. And what happened earlier seemed to make matters extra worse for her part.
It felt so right, yet if felt so wrong. Why? Why must some things push you to fall in the pit of dilemma?
Kaoru slid down little by little on the floor and went back to her sitting position minutes ago. Her arms were floppily on her sides and her eyes stared at the dimness of the room.
You can't be together Kaoru...You'll end up being hurt if you insist on this... a stern voice from inside her whispered.
Kaoru's jaws clenched. But I...
The way Kenshin stared at her registered in her mind again, making her remember him more. His eyes were vividly etched on her memory.
She felt the hakama on her hand and her knuckles ruffled it so hard that it seemed like it was going to be torn apart.
No. She wasn't going to cry again. Didn't she promise not to do such a thing for Kenshin anymore a long time ago?
Why now?
She breathed in heavily.
She had to make a decision.
But what?
----
Kenshin placed the last pieces of his used clothing inside the washing machine and he then closed the lid. Looking back as he scanned the laundry room, he caught sight of a high stool and pulled it closer to him.
With a quick screech, he sat down on the stool and pressed the start button. For a minute, only the slight noise of the washing machine accompanied him. He watched as his clothes tumbled inside with soap bubbles and water through the transparent lid.
Just then, faint footsteps registered on his ears. With a quick glance, he saw Yahiko carrying a tray with a glass of juice on top of it in his hands.
"Kamatari told me to bring this since you insisted on doing your laundry." Yahiko told him as he came in.
"O, thank you." Kenshin returned as he got down from the stool to get the tray from Yahiko. He decided to place it on top of the ironing table.
At the same time, the washing machine ended its first cycle.
"I saw what happened last night." Yahiko steadily said.
"Oro..." Kenshin muttered his hand suspended in the air to remove the lid.
Yahiko turned his heel to walk but stopped after taking three steps. "I have never seen Kaoru cry in my whole life."
Kenshin blinked as he put his hand down to his side.
"I was about to get to her but you went there first." Yahiko continued without any sort of emotion.
"What--" Kenshin asked but was cut off.
"It's funny that I only saw her cry when you arrived from America. I just wonder why." Without any other word or gesture, Yahiko went out of the room.
Kenshin's lashes batted twice in wonder. He has never seen or heard Yahiko in such a mood.
A pang of guilt hit him abruptly. Why did it feel like he caused Kaoru to cry?
But then again, he wasn't really sure.
Wetting his lips, he continued with his laundry.
Tsuzuku
----
A/N: uggghhh!!! I kinda hate the ending for this chap! If anyone hates this too, let me know. . O well! Forgive sessha. Anyways, thanks again to everyone and keep strapped to your seats! The last few chappies are coming in next! Mwaaaahh!!! AI SHITERU MINNA-SAN!!!
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