Disclaimer:bursts into tears:runs off to get therapy:

DECEMBER 20TH SIXTH YEAR

If anyone noticed that Scar Avens and James Potter were suddenly snogging anyone who held still long enough, they didn't say anything. If anyone realized that the Marauders seemed to have split up, they didn't mention it. If anyone cared that the sixth year Gryffindors no longer spoke to Scar, they didn't confront anyone about it. It seemed that suddenly, everyone at Hogwarts was very interested in their own business. For once.

Lily kept up her masquerade, though she knew it was useless. Eventually, people would know, now that the truth was out.

Aj and Riley wouldn't speak to the former Slytherin, James obviously hated her, and the rest of the Marauders were too busy trying to get James to speak to them again. Sure, most of Hogwarts' residents liked her, but it wasn't the same. She resigned from the Quidditch team and withdrew from extracurricular activities. And no one noticed.

She looked up at a tapping sound on her window. An owl was hovering outside, looking rather annoyed. Lily quickly opened the window to let it in. He grumpily dropped a letter, then left without waiting for a reply. Confused, the redhead opened the envelope to find a hastily scribbled note written on muggle paper.

Her parents had heard she was back in the country. Oh joy. They said they missed her, wanted her home for Christmas. Unbelievable. And she knew she had to go. If she didn't, chances were she wouldn't live through the summer. Daaaaaaaaaaaamn was the only word she could think of. Okay, that's a lie. She could think of a few others…

Lily crumpled the note and threw it in the fire as the dorm door opened to admit Riley and Aj. The three girls looked different directions, and Lily hung her head. Never before had she been ashamed of being a Slytherin. But she was now.

"Going home for the holidays?" asked Riley in a clipped voice.

"Yeah," said Lily softly, trying not to wince. Well, she wasn't going home. Hogwarts was her home.

"Good, then Aj and I can stay here."

Lily nodded her head. What could she expect? She used to be a Slytherin. You couldn't expect Gryffindors to get over that simply because she was sorted into Gryffindor second time around.

"Look, Rilez…"

"Don't call me that. My friends call me that."

"I juzt thought—"

"Just because you're supposedly all broken-hearted over a boy who's too good for you doesn't mean our femininity is going to overcome our Gryffindor pride and make us all sympathetic," spat Aj. "You lied to us. You lied to Sirius, Remus, and Peter. You lied to James."

"I did not 'ave a choice!" Lily started hotly, knowing it wasn't going to get her anywhere.

"And neither do we."

Lily nodded once again, and swiftly walked out of the dormitory, head high, tears pricking her eyes. Down in the Common Room, she wished she had stayed in the dorm. It was empty except for the Marauders. Lily timidly sat down and opened a book, and the boys turned their backs to her. Lily's pride burned in her chest as she watched the boy she loved and the boys she had trusted shun her.

She got up and sat down with them. "We need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," hissed James. "You lied to us."

"I lie to everybody, don't act like you're zomezing zpecial," spat Lily, angry that she loved him no less, even though he hated her very existence.

Not helpful. "You played me, Evans. Just like the bitch you are."

That stung. "I never played you, Jamez. I did what I 'ad to. I couldn't tell you. I waz zworn not to tell anyone! You can not blame me for something I couldn't help!"

"Watch me."

"Jamez, when we kissed—"

"Kisses mean nothing," he mocked her younger, colder, self. Lily stared wide-eyed as he ripped her heart out, stabbed it with acupuncture needles, skewered it with a hot poker, beat it with a two-by-four that had rusty nails sticking out of it, used it as a pin cushion, slammed it in a door, ran over it with a monster truck, Crucio'd it, squeezed lemon juice on it, gave it a billion paper cuts, and to top it all off, rolled it in salt. James seemed even seemed to realize that he had gone too far with that one. He knew she was no longer that girl, but he couldn't help it.

"Why can you not underztand—"

"I don't love you, Lily Evans. I once had some sort of infatuation for you, but I don't love you."

Lily looked up at him with eyes full of such pain, he could have struck her easier than held her gaze, so he looked away. She nodded her head.

"Then it eez done. Goodbye, Jamez Potter. I may not be able to be with you, but you will never forget me. I promize you zat."

With that, Lily stepped forward, swiftly kissed him, then exited the Common Room. James was left standing there, heartbroken, confused, his lips burning from the kiss. What did she mean, 'you will never forget me'?

xXx

Outside the portrait, Lily leaned against the wall and slid down it, crying. How many times was he going to break her heart? Then she did something she hadn't done in forever. She reached out with her thoughts… and found James's.

What the hell is wrong with me? She couldn't tell me. Why can't I bloody accept that? Maybe because I'm weak. I let myself fall for someone I obviously didn't know, and look where I am because of it! And what's worse is that I still love her. I love her more than anything on earth. So why can't I let my pride go? I should be begging for her forgiveness! If she'd even still accept me, which I doubt. She asked for forgiveness, and I still had to be the arrogant prat! What's the matter with me?

Lily pulled her mind away. She didn't want to hear any more. The boy wasn't right in the mind. She just had to forget him. She had bigger things to worry about just now. Like going home tomorrow…

xXx

Later that night in her dorm, Lily packed everything she belonged into her trunk. She wasn't coming back to Hogwarts after the holidays, one way or another. She couldn't. She would go back to France if she survived going home. What else could she do? Create another identity for herself?

Well… maybe.