Chapter Four

The evening air hit him as soon as he left the flat. There was a slight chilly breeze, a summer breeze but a breeze all the same. Jake's first thoughts were that of where to go and what to do. Part of him wanted to go marching back into his flat, beat the living daylights out of Justin, and then try and salvage his marriage. But the other part of him wanted to go and get drunk, hoping the alcohol would block it all out, rid him of all the images he had in his head, his anger, his hurt, and most importantly, the L word and whether what Justin had said was true.

There had been silence for several minutes after Jake had left, with neither Justin nor Becca feeling ready to be the one that spoke first. She was still angry with him for making things worse and he felt hurt and rejected at being told to go.

"Why did you have to go and say that? You made things worse" Becca eventually said, unable to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

"That vase could have hit you Becca! What did you want me to do? Just stand there and do nothing?" Justin retorted, following Becca's example in making no real effort to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

"I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about you telling Jake that I loved you"

"I was only telling the truth, being honest" Justin replied.

"Well I don't remember you wanting to be honest when we were sleeping together behind Jake's back so why start now?" Becca knew her words would hurt Justin but what did he expect? Yes, it was true what he had said to Jake, she did love Justin, but Jake didn't need to know that, not right now. It was bad enough seeing his hurt at knowing his wife had been sleeping with someone else without bringing love into the picture as well. Plus she also cared for Jake deeply and she did still love him. Not in the way she loved Justin, but in the way you love your best friend or a brother or sister.

"Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, okay" Becca eventually said, softening her voice and taking Justin's hand. "It's just that I don't want to hurt Jake. I care about him"

"It'll be okay, won't it Becca?" Justin gently probed. After all this time and after all she had risked to be with him, he still couldn't shake this nagging doubt that she would change her mind, attempt to repair her marriage to Jake and tell him this had all been one big mistake.

"I hope so" Becca replied as she turned away from Justin and headed for the bathroom.