Disclaimer:villainous laughter:
A/N: Kay, OMG, I'm SOOOOOOOOOOO sorry I didn't get this up WAY sooner, but I actually had good reasons this time.
First, I had to get all four of my retarded wisdom teeth removed, which is a funny story, but they were impacted, not only that, but the roots hadn't formed. Therefore, the dude had to drill into my jaws, extract the teeth, then scrape out the holes so nothing… grew. So I slept for literally a week, only waking up to take vicodin. Note to the wise: don't take vicodin on an empty stomach; you'll puke your living daylights out, which is really unpleasant when you can't open your mouth, and can't eat anything anyway. But the funny part was that they gave me this drug before I went into surgery, and it makes u forget things, so I had no idea what I was doing, but mum says it's like I was high. Laughing hysterically, talking about seeing devils, the whole nine yards.
Then, I was drowning in band and homework, and highschool, combined with FFA, 4H, my horses, and band, was kicking my ass.
And then the other day, mum was all, 'hey, girls, I have something to tell you. You have a half sister, her name is Myrna, she's 31, has a husband and an 11 year old daughter, and lives in california. When I had her, I had to give her up for adoption. She contacted me the other day. She wants to meet us'. I never had ANY FCKING IDEA about my second sister, so this came as a shock. So I was all crying and spazzing out, and reading all of the emails they've traded, and printing out pictures of my niece, and brother in law, and SISTER. So I've been kinda… swamped.
Anyway, there was some confusion of why Lily was all father-daughtery with Voldy. The drink he gave her had a potion in it that effectively brain-washed her, giving her memories of a different life, the one he wanted her to think she had. As far as she knows, Voldemort's her father, she's a Slytherin, she HATES the Marauders, and she's always wanted to be a death eater, so she finally gets to do it. In about a week. Will the Marauders come to the rescue? Will Lily want to be 'rescued' by people she only remembers hating? Let's see, shall we?
JANUARY 25 SIXTH YEAR
Lily lounged indolently on the plushy green armchair in her green satin robes. Why did she feel like she was completely missing something? It felt like there was something totally wrong, and she just couldn't put her finger on it. But what could be wrong? She was about to become a death eater, her life-long dream. Or so her father told her. But her father was always right. He just was. Lordy, she was confused.
He never told her exactly why she wasn't at Hogwarts. She just assumed he had brought her home for a little while for her to become a Death Eater. It just didn't fit. But she had no reason not to believe the things he told her. She just didn't.
There had to be some great reasoning here that was just beyond her, I mean, her father wouldn't do anything to harm her, right? Her days just seemed empty, hollow, somehow. As if there wasn't something there that was before. Kind of like when you lost a baby tooth. You could feel that it used to be there, but it wasn't any more. And just like that raw spot where the baby tooth had been, the feeling of it was driving her positively barmy.
Lily hurled the crystal goblet in her hand at the wall. It shattered, and without missing a beat, she waved her wand, turning it back into a goblet. She glared evilly at nothing in particular. She was getting rather good at glaring, really. I mean, it's not like she got to smile a whole lot. I mean, what was she going to smile at? Her father, telling her of how he hung a rabbit from an orphanage ceiling when he was younger? I don't think so.
(A/N: Kay, well, I would smile. I have a mortal fear of rabbits. I honestly can't come within fifteen feet of one with out hyperventilating. Stop laughing your ass off at me! It's crippling, 'cos whenever we see rabbits somewhere, my friends are always all 'Oh, look at the cute wittle bunny wunny, let's go pet it!' and they don't realize that I'm huddled on the ground hyperventilating. I don't really feel like explaining why I have this fear, 'cos if you didn't have my seventh grade English teacher, you wouldn't understand. So yes, I've had this fear for two years. For two BLOODY years, I've been incapable of coming near a rabbit. Yep. I'll end my rant now. Sorry. Oh, one last thing, Elli and I came up with this wicked club. It's called S.T.A.B. Society To Assassinate Bunnies. Yes. We had the same seventh grade English class…)
So how did our dear Lily spend her days? Well, besides glaring at absolutely nothing at all, she talked to Voldemort. Learned about his childhood, his life. She learned that he adored his mother beyond all things in the world ("She's a descendant of Salazar himself, you know"). He may never have known her, but he said she was perfect in every way. He never spoke of his father. Lily respected that. She had to.
Now, you may be wondering how our dear Marauders are spending their days. We haven't heard of them for a while, have we? Poor boys are neglected. Ah well, we shall neglect them just a bit longer. I can, however, tell you that they, along with Dumbledore and a team of HIGHLY TRAINED PROFESSIONALS (aka Aurors), are searching diligently for our dear Lilykins.(Awww, isn't that sweet?)
So, back to Lilz. Who is still glaring at nothing. If she were glaring at SOMETHING, it probably would have burst into flame by now. But, as she's not glaring at anything, how can it burst into flame? Well, there were little sparks in the air, but never mind them. Okay, one of those little sparks just zapped a moth. Damn, Lily's dangerous when she's bored…
Someone knocked on her door, then opened it without waiting for an answer. Lily sneered when she saw who it was. "What do you want, Severus?" The boy had graduated from Hogwarts two years early to 'dedicate his life to The Dark Lord'. Whatever he meant by that.
He smirked at her. "Someone cranky today?" he asked mockingly.
"Sod off."
"What are you going to do? Tell Daddy?" The immature prat had a knack for annoying her.
"Talk to the wand, Sevvy Wevvy," she told him. With a wave of the smooth piece of wood and a muttered word, darling Severus was swept out the door to hit the opposite wall and the door shut and locked firmly behind him. "Ammature."
Shaking her head, Lily went over to her dresser and opened up her diary. What do you expect she found? Ten days of notes? No. Much, much more. But the thing is, the hundreds of pages of notes were not written by Voldemort. Obviously, Lily thought she had written them as a record of her life. Now, you may think Voldemort would have written the life story he wanted Lily to have in the diary. He didn't. They were actual events that would have happened had Lily grown up Voldemort's daughter. Dark magic was abroad in Voldemort's castle.
But no one knew what magic went on there. The place was unplottable, which is why Lily could do underage magic. But back to the diary.
Lily flipped through the pages and read a few entries. (A/N: I'm going to leave out dates b/c dates suck.)
Dear Diary,
I got my wand today! Daddy says he's glad I'll finally stop using his. It was so funny! Luscious asked me out. Again, funny. Just because I'm his Father's master's daughter, doesn't mean he—
Lily flipped the page.
Dear Diary,
First day of Hogwarts. Was sorted into Slytherin (Obviously). The sorting hat declared me the moment I walked into the room! I think I sort of scared some people. Though no one knows who my father is, except the Slytherins. They—
Dear Diary,
Played another prank on the 'Marauders' today. James Potter is such an arrogant prat. Can you BELIEVE he actually thought I'd go to Hogsmeade with him!
Xoxo, Lils
Dear Diary,
Cissy and Luscious had a fight today. Let's just say Cissy can perform one hell of a bat-bogey curse… Must teach Luscious counter-charm.
Xoxo, Lils
Dear Diary,
Am hearing voices. I swear to god. I don't know what the hell is going on. I'm going mad. That's all it is. I've finally cracked. I heard all I've never wanted to know about people. I'm imagining voices that sound like Severus commentating on Bella doing her Potions essay incorrectly, like that Playa kid thinking about Rell, like JAMES POTTER WONDERING WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO SNOG ME!
Xoxo, Lils
Dear Diary,
I need serious help.
Lils
Dear Diary,
Killed my first Muggle today. It was fantas—
With a yelp, Lily slammed the book shut and cast it into the fire, not regretting in the least that she just destroyed a record of her entire life. She had killed! And enjoyed it! Why the HELL didn't she remember it? She started slightly hyperventilating. She heard a voice in her head.
God, Lily. Where are you? I can't believe how stupid I was. How could I have let this happen. It's all my fault. No matter what they say. I should have stopped you. I should have been there. What if… what if Remus was wrong? What if you're really gone forever and we're searching for nothing. But every time I ask myself this, I feel like it's not true. Like you're really alive and out there somewhere. Please let me find you. I'm nothing without you. I'm dying, and no one can see it but you. And you aren't here.
Lily shook her head. And now she was hearing voices. That felt like they belonged to someone. Who was talking to themself. Oh fabulous. She was so mad she was hearing voices that were so mad they were talking to themselves. Peachy.
Next Chappie:
"I'm sorry, boys, there's nothing we can do."
"James, let go."
"It's like a living death."
"I feel like I should know you."
"I'm not coming with you."
"She's dead."