She's going to kill me. Rev is going to kill me, and it's going to HURT.
Immediately after Atton regained consciousness, he came to the realization that Daynn was missing. It was dark, he was alone in the middle of the clearing, and he had called out for him a few times and got no response. Groaning, he got up and staggered over the pile of vornskr corpses before him. He glanced down: his leg was bleeding profusely through the fabric around it. Well, that would explain the excruciating pain… He reached into his pocket and pulled out his comlink, thankful he had thought to retrieve it when he came back aboard the ship. Jena doesn't have a comlink; guess it'll have to be…"Rev?" he said, speaking into the device, trying to sound casual. "You might want to come out here…"
Revan's voice immediately replied. Her tone indicated that his attempt to sound laid-back had failed miserably. "Why? What happened? Where are you, Jaq?"
A wave of pain overcame Atton, and he grimaced terribly. "Away from the front of the ship… middle of the clearing…" He cringed and swore under his breath. "And bring me some medpacks and maybe some antidote. Force knows what kind of bacteria those things carry in their mouths…"
"I'll be right there!" Revan announced hastily.
Atton put his comlink away and smacked himself on the forehead. Should've asked her to bring Jena… She'd have stopped Revan from killing me for having lost her precious son. He reached for his communication device again, but stopped himself when his eyes rested on the dark forest. Well, she'd prevent Revan from killing me all right, but it would be just so she'd get a chance to do it herself. Yeah, on second thought, I'd rather only have to deal with the wrath of one female Jedi.
He limped over to an area free of dead vornskrs and carefully sat down on the ground, painstakingly stretching his injured leg out in front of him. He gently reached over and lifted his pant leg to assess the damage, flinching at intervals as he did so. Upon eyeing the large chunk of bloody flesh dangling from his calf, he turned away, his face contorted with pain. He proceeded to attempt to heal himself with the Force, but the combat had drained him too much, and his efforts hardly helped at all. He dropped his shoulders and hung his head as he tried desperately to focus on anything other than the agony he was experiencing.
"Jaq!" a worried voice cried out behind him. I guess Jena told her the brat was with me. Watch her abandon me here so she can start tramping through the bush in search of that stupid, annoying—
"What happened?" Revan demanded desperately as she ran up to him and noticed the large pile of dead creatures as well as Atton's injury. Without waiting for an answer, she bent down in front of him, set down her lantern on the ground, pulled out a medical kit she had evidently plundered from the medical room while Mical wasn't looking, lifted his leg up onto her lap and proceeded to dress his wound carefully. Despite all his wincing, Atton couldn't help but notice how gentle she was being. He gritted his teeth and attempted to explain.
"Well, Daynn and I were out here talking, and…" Revan momentarily dropped Atton's leg in surprise. He yelled out in protest, swearing profusely. Thoroughly apologetic, Revan picked his leg back up and resumed bandaging and healing it. "As I was saying," Atton said furiously through his teeth, glaring at Revan, "Daynn and I were out here talking and he blew up this bug and the next thing I knew…"
"What do you mean, 'blew up'?" enquired Revan, this time firmly holding on to Atton's leg and focusing on stopping the bleeding.
"I mean he blew it up! I don't know how he did it, but he did! He was just sitting there, staring at it and it burst open!" He peered over his left shoulder and pointed at something right next to him in the grass. "See? There it is." Revan looked at the very large, very dead caterpillar and her forehead creased slightly. "Anyway, next thing I knew all these… creatures…" He waved generally at the pile of corpses. "They came out of nowhere and attacked us. I held them off long enough to tell Daynn to run away… I thought he'd go back to the ship, but he took off to the forest." He pointed to the dark wooded area Daynn had disappeared to. "And then I killed the schuttas, though not before one of them decided to chomp down on my leg." Revan mentally counted how many vornskr bodies lay on the ground and whistled admiringly when she saw there were four.
"All right, so where's Daynn now?" she asked, her concern growing since Atton mentioned the forest.
"That's the thing," muttered Atton. "I don't know. I called for him after I killed the last one of those stupid, vicious things, and he didn't answer." He gestured at his leg. "I couldn't very well run off after him… And then I… well… passed out. He's probably just wandered a bit too far to be able to hear me. I'm sure he's fine." He sounded as though he tried to convince himself as well as Revan.
The color drained from Revan's face, but she quickly finished off bandaging Atton's leg, and gave him a shot of antidote. She pulled his pant leg back down and gently set his injured limb back on the ground. "We have to go find him," she said hurriedly, a look of worry in her eyes.
"I know," said Atton, shamefacedly glancing away. "Look, I'm sorry…"
Revan stopped him with a slight wave. "It's okay. It's not your fault," she muttered dismissively, getting up.
Atton frowned as he slowly made an effort to stand up as well. She's way too nice. I was expecting her to bite my head off. She's up to something.
"Can you walk?" Revan asked hurriedly as she walked off toward the area of the forest Atton had designated.
Atton took a few steps. The pain had lessened significantly. "Yeah, I should be okay," he replied, limping after her, and wiping his bloody hands on his robes, unsure as to whether the blood was his or the vornskrs'. He followed Revan, still glancing suspiciously at her. Why hasn't she killed me yet? I lost her child, and there are vornskrs around! Is she feeling guilty for earlier? There's definitely something up in that devious mind of hers. He narrowed his eyes and quietly walked into the forest. Revan called out to Daynn a few times, and each time her voice was greeted by silence.
"Rev? Look, I realize he's your kid and all… and I guess… mine too…" He shut his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. "But I really don't think it's a good idea to wander off into the forest like that… If we encounter more of those vornskrs, we won't have much of a shot against them, because we won't be able to use the Force, and with me being injured…"
"Are we running any more of a risk than an unarmed eight-year-old would, Jaq?" snapped Revan. Ah-hah! I knew the hateful woman I know was hiding in there somewhere.
"I guess not… but how are we going to find him in there?" He peered apprehensively into the darkness. It may have been dark where they were but it was completely pitch black in the forest.
"Jaq," Revan said impatiently, "you don't have to come with me. Really." She grimaced. "To be quite honest, if I have to choose between having to put up with the dubious pleasure of your company as you whine, or going out there alone, I'll take my chances searching for Daynn on my own. But I'm not going to wait till morning to go find my son."
"Your son?" Atton fulminated. "I'll have you know he's my son too, and if you're going, I'm going with you." He pursed his lips, limped decidedly ahead of her and entered the forest.
Revan caught up to him, smirking, with a distinct twinkle in her eye. "Afraid of what Jena would say or do if she saw you return to the ship without Daynn?"
"Deathly," Atton retorted without missing a beat.
Laughter escaped Revan's lips. "I have to say it again, Jaq… I've never seen a guy so damn whipped."
Atton shrugged. "Well, what can I say? There's just something about a woman who can kick your ass…"
Revan smiled impishly. "I could kick your ass, Jaq… and yet, somehow—"
Atton waved his hand impatiently and rolled his eyes. "Oh come on. As unappealing as the idea may be to me right now, I think it's pretty obvious that I used to think you pretty damn hot, otherwise we wouldn't be here right now." He stopped and frowned slightly. "Did I just say that? What the hell is wrong with my inner monologue today? First I propose to Jena…"
Revan gasped and coughed loudly. "You proposed to Jena? You?"
Atton closed his eyes and shook his head. "See, this is exactly what I'm talking about! I didn't want to tell you that either."
"You're engaged?" Revan asked incredulously.
"Did I say that?" cried Atton in a slight panic. "No! I'm not engaged! Dammit, Rev! What, the vornskrs didn't do a good enough job, so you're trying to finish me off with a heart attack?"
"But you just said…" she protested.
"I said I proposed to her. I didn't let her give me an answer, because I was in too much of a panic."
"Classy."
"Yeah, well…" he muttered unpleasantly, looking away. Revan called for Daynn a few times and they both stood silently and listened. All was quiet. "Well, the good news is I'm not hearing any vornskrs either," Atton commented. He turned to look at Revan. "Look, I'm not exactly proud of the way I handled the situation with Jena, but I couldn't… I mean… I think Mira might be right about me. I mean, if I can't commit to Jena, who could I possibly…?" He shook his head. "And the thing is, I want to. I do. It's just that part of my brain…" He frowned. "Oh, why am I telling you all this? How could you possibly understand?"
"I might understand more than you know, Jaq," Revan said quietly.
Atton scoffed. "Right. So says Carth Onasi's fiancée. Look… Rev… stop kidding yourself. You and me, we have nothing in common, except for our stupid past."
"Just because I said yes doesn't mean I know what I'm doing," Revan muttered through her teeth.
Atton stopped walking. "Whoa, whoa, whoa… are you saying you're not sure if you want to marry Carth? But he's crazy about you—for some reason I'm still trying to figure out. Seriously, Rev, you're not going to find anybody else. Especially not anybody better."
"Oh, that much I know," retorted Revan acerbically.
"Then what's the problem? Why wouldn't you want to marry Carth? Why are we even having this conversation when we should probably be trying to be stealthy despite the fact that my injured leg makes me about as subtle as a hoard of banthas."
Revan shut her mouth with a snap. "Fine. Let's just walk around in silence, then, while we look for our son, whom you lost," she muttered bitterly.
"What the hell is with you and your mood swings?" cried Atton, ignoring his own advice to try and be stealthy. "This is ronto skrag… A minute ago you were doting over me as though I was about to die, now you're accusing me of losing your son… Oh, I'm sorry…" He pulled a sarcastic face and made quotations in the air with his fingers. "Our son… When you know damn well there wasn't a damn thing I could do to keep him from disappearing, unless of course you wanted us both to get mauled. What is your problem with me, Rev? It can't be that you're still upset that I slept with you and walked out on you, because we both know I don't even remember any of it."
"I don't have a problem with you, Jaq…" she said through tight lips.
"Yes, you do. You have a problem with me, and I don't know what it is. And if you won't tell me, I'll just have to figure it out on my own."
"Fine," snapped Revan. "You do that. Personally, I'm going to go look for my son, before he gets eaten by those damn animals. E chu ta!"
Without waiting for any reply from Atton, Revan stormed off and quickly disappeared behind the trees, leaving him alone in the increasing darkness. Exasperated, Atton cursed loudly and tried to catch up to her as best he could.
"Revan!" he shouted. "Will you wait up? I'm coming with you. Force, you are the most irritating person I've ever met! Since you're so hell-bent on getting mauled, you're going to need someone to drag your bloody corpse back to Carth. Though at this rate, I'll be doing that whether we run into vornskrs or not, because I'm about to kill you myself."
The light of the lantern, which had been steadily disappearing into the forest, came to a dead stop. Atton limped along toward the light. When he rejoined Revan, she began walking again without a word or even a glance.
They hiked along for quite some time, their silence only occasionally interrupted by Revan's voice calling out for Daynn. After about forty-five minutes of trampling through the forest, Atton's leg had started hurting again, but he clenched his teeth and said nothing, determined not to give Revan any reason to accuse him of complaining.
Revan suddenly stopped, held up her lantern, and opened her mouth to call for Daynn one more time, but Atton, looking around, reached over and grabbed her arm before she had the chance to say anything.
"What the hell is that?" he asked, pointing at something to their left.
"What?" she asked confusedly.
"That!" insisted Atton, still pointing. "It almost looks like…"
"It's a ship!" Revan gasped. "Out here?" she asked incredulously. "It doesn't look like it's been sitting here for years rusting away, either."
"Jena," mumbled Atton.
"What do you mean, Jena? Honestly, Jaq, we've found Jena. You can give your one track mind a rest."
Atton shook his head impatiently and gestured at the ship. "No, I mean, that's probably Jena's ship. What else would it be? It's not like we've run into any other people this could belong to."
Revan glanced ponderingly at the small ship. "You're probably right…" She frowned slightly. "The door's open. That's odd. Why would she have left the door—"
Revan and Atton looked at each other for an instant. Revan immediately walked into the abandoned ship. "Daynn?" she called out.
"Daynn!" shouted Atton. "I'm getting tired of this wild bantha chase! Now if you're in here, you'd better let us know, otherwise I'll be forced to create a rule number…" He paused and started counting on his fingers. "Seven!"
Revan turned angrily at Atton and was getting ready to berate him when a small, pitiful voice coming from the other room called out, "I'm here."
Abandoning Atton, Revan quickly turned and raced to the next room. "Daynn!" she shrieked. "Are you all right?"
Atton rolled his eyes. "Of course he's all right! Don't you think he'd have been screaming like a mynock if he wasn't?" he said sarcastically, secretly relieved that he wouldn't have to explain to Jena why Daynn got injured the first time she willingly left them alone together. He followed Revan into the next room and was greeted by the sight of Revan with her arms tightly wrapped around Daynn. The boy looked up at Atton as the latter walked in the room.
"Where's Jena?" the child asked.
Atton could have sworn he saw Revan wince when she heard those words. She however loosened her hold and gently told him, "Jena's not here. She stayed behind at the ship. Why did you run away so far?"
"Jena told me to go back to the ship when I was in trouble," he replied quietly.
"To the ship?" cried Atton. "Couldn't you go back to the Ebon Hawk, like I was expecting you to do?"
Daynn's lip quivered slightly. "I didn't know… I thought…"
Revan shot Atton a dark look and hugged the boy. "Ignore him, Daynny. I'm not mad at you."
Daynny? Did she just call my son 'Daynny'? What the hell is wrong with that woman?
Daynn turned to Atton and looked at him questioningly. Atton rolled his eyes. "I'm not mad either. Just vaguely annoyed that I had part of my leg ripped off, then had to chase you all over the forest, not knowing how many more of those schuttas were hiding out here." He smiled acerbically.
"Jaq!" snapped Revan, glaring at him, pointing significantly at Daynn.
No remotely perturbed, Atton retorted, "Well, you'd be swearing too if you'd had some farkling scum-sucking creature gnawing at your leg." Turning his head toward the door, he listened closely. He heard a yelp and a strange cackle-purr sound far off in the distance. "Great. There are more coming." He briskly walked over to Daynn, grabbed him by the arm and got him up on his feet. "Come on. I don't want to wait till they get here. I'm not in any shape to fight those things again, especially without the Force. Let's go." He took a step toward the door but felt a tug on his sleeve.
"Whoa! Just you hold on a second, there, flyboy," Revan interjected, pulling him back. "The loud ones may be far away, but there might be some quieter ones nearby. We're not going anywhere until it's light out. We're closing the door to this ship and we're going to hide here until those damn things go to sleep."
"You want to spend the night here?" asked Atton incredulously. "Are you completely insane? This is a really small ship. How do you know they won't be able to force their way in somehow? Those sch—" Atton caught Revan's eye and quickly checked himself. "Those… um… things are really strong, and they can still spot Force sensitives here even if we can't use the Force ourselves. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm thinking that the former Lord of the Sith, her trusty apprentice and their frighteningly powerful offspring will likely attract them by the dozens, now that they've been alerted by our presence."
Revan shrugged. "You can do what you want, Jaq. I'm staying here. There's no way I'm going to risk taking Daynn back out there at this point. You can take your chances with the forest if you want… though I don't know how much of a shot you'll have against the damn things, with your injured leg and the fact that you can't use the Force."
Atton stared at Revan and blinked a few times. "DAMMIT!" he shouted, throwing his hands up and stalking off toward the door. He closed it and locked it, grumbling various curse words between his teeth. "I hope you appreciate this, Daynn. It's all your fault," he said bitingly.
"Shut up, Jaq," snarled Revan.
Revan pulled Daynn back toward her and sat him down on her lap. The child didn't seem overly thrilled to be in that position, but did appear to vastly prefer her company to that of the vociferous Atton.
"Well, now what?" spat Atton, returning to the room Revan and Daynn were in. "You don't think that say, oh, I don't know… Jena and Carth might notice that we're gone? Carth in particular is already getting paranoid about me…"
Revan blushed. "Why… why would he be paranoid about you?" she asked hesitantly.
"Gee, I can't imagine!" he said sarcastically, pointing at Daynn. "That being said, I don't know why this would make him paranoid about me, seeing as you and I have always openly hated each other. Don't ask me to understand the workings of an Onasi brain. But I can tell you that he is paranoid. Anyway, don't you think that he and Jena might feel compelled to go out and look for us when they notice we've disappeared?"
Revan looked seriously at Atton. "You're right," she said earnestly. "I don't want them getting injured on account of this…" She reached into her pocket and pulled out her comlink.
"Will those work from all the way back here?" wondered Atton.
Revan shrugged. "Don't see why not. At any rate, it's worth a shot." She turned the unit on. "Carth?" She paused. "Carth, are you there?" There was a long silence.
Revan and Atton looked at each other. "See?" said Atton. "He's already annoyed. He probably saw you run out after me and…"
"Query: Is this you, Master?" a voice suddenly called out from the comlink.
"HK! Yes! Listen, I just wanted to let Carth and Jena know that Daynn, Jaq and I are stuck in Jena's old ship for the night. Jaq was attacked by vornskrs and Daynn ran out this way and we just found him. I thought it might be best to stay where we are."
"Statement: Indeed it would be, Master. I have heard of the damage some of the creatures roaming around these forests at night can do to meatbags. Suggestion: It would be advisable to lock the door behind you. Addendum: Should you feel too cramped in that small ship, might I suggest you jettison the meatbag Rand?"
Atton looked up to the ceiling and sighed heavily, while Revan stifled a laugh.
"No, we're all quite comfortable here, thanks." She paused. "HK?"
"Query: Yes, Master?"
She hesitated. "How come Carth didn't pick up his comlink?"
"Statement: The meatbag Onasi set his comlink down in the cockpit and left it there, Master. Elaboration: I merely picked it up when I heard you calling, Master."
Revan and Atton exchanged knowing looks. "Do you know why he left it there?" Revan insisted.
"Statement: No, Master. Clarification: The meatbag however seemed most displeased when he did so. Extrapolation: Judging from the words he muttered to himself, I believe the meatbag Rand may be to blame for his reaction."
Revan frowned. "Words? What words?"
"Statement: I believe his exact words were…" HK's voice was replaced by a metallic version of Carth's. "He's already got Jena… What the hell else does he need?"
"Oh." Revan's voice was very small.
Atton mouthed the word "See?"
"Statement: I will however let him and Master Jena know of the circumstances."
Revan winced "Great!" she said unconvincingly. "Sounds good. We'll be back first thing tomorrow morning. Please be sure to tell him that."
"Statement: As you wish, Master."
"Revan out."
Revan turned off her communication device and put it away. She glanced at Atton, then at Daynn, who was half asleep, and got up silently.
"I want Jena," muttered Daynn in a sleepy haze.
"Of course you do," muttered Revan a little nastily as she walked into the next room. "You sound more like your father every minute."
Atton frowned, but decided to turn his attention to Daynn, who was sulking. He threw his cloak over the boy and after half an hour, managed to get him to sleep. Quite relieved, he got up quietly and headed over to the other room. He peered around the corner and saw Revan sitting on the floor cross-legged, seemingly meditating. Atton was about to turn around when he noticed something glistening down her cheek: a tear. That's not part of the regular meditation routine… Dammit, what do I do now? This ship only has two rooms, and in one is the sleeping Sithspawn, and in the other is the Dark Lord, who's crying. Why would she do this to me? She knows I don't know what to do around crying women. He sighed lightly, felt around his pockets and pulled out his pazaak deck. Best thing to do: pretend I don't notice.
He walked into the room and settled down on the floor next to her, approximately three feet away. He dealt his cards and kept his eyes firmly glued to his side deck. In his peripheral vision, he noticed Revan furtively wiping her eyes, evidently trying to conceal her tears from him. He felt he had made the right decision. Yup, playing dumb always did work for me.
As he set a card down on the floor, he felt as though he was being observed. He raised his head and saw Revan staring at him, her eyes curiously red. Atton felt a strange pang when he noticed her eyes. Am I feeling… bad for her? That's certainly new…
He cleared his throat. "Hey, um…" he said gauchely. "Did you want to…" Don't say 'talk'. Do NOT say 'talk'. "…Play?" He waved a card in front of his face, and flashed her his most charming grin. Good. For once, I didn't screw up. Pazaak—good; talking—bad.
"Sure," she replied quietly, unenthusiastically. Atton gathered up his cards and shuffled them. As Revan didn't have her pazaak deck with her, Atton split his deck in half and handed her the cards he held in his left hand. She half-heartedly accepted the stack of cards and glanced distractedly at them.
"Jaq…" said Revan, vaguely peering down at Atton's hands as he hastily started dealing. "Could we talk?"
"DAMMIT!" Atton cried out, throwing his cards down in frustration. I can't win. I just can't win.
Revan backed away in surprise. "We… we really don't have to…" she said coldly.
Atton exhaled deeply. "No… No, it's okay," he said with the air of someone who thought it was anything but okay.
Revan's eyes dropped down to the floor and she laid her cards down in front of her. "Seriously… if you don't want to talk…" She sounded a little hurt.
Atton reached over and pulled her cards away from her. "No, it's okay," he said grumpily. "You know me. I'm just being an ass. What did you want to talk about?"
She blushed lightly. "Well, it's about…"
"It's about Carth, isn't it?" he interrupted. "You're worried about what Carth is thinking about me and you? Look, I can just talk to him…"
"It's not that… I mean, I appreciate the offer and all, but that's something I'm going to have to deal with on my own. Carth… well, you know how he is with trust. He trusts me. That is, he trusted me. I'm not so sure he still does. And that's entirely my fault. But that's not what this is about."
"Oh?"
"It's about Daynn."
"Oh?"
"I just don't know what to do… I try, but he doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with me."
"Oh."
"He behaves as though Jena's his mother."
"Oh."
"Don't you have anything else to say?" Revan exclaimed irritably.
"Well, what else am I going to say?" Atton replied, annoyed. "The kid just spent a couple months with her. Of course, he's going to be attached to her. These things take time. You're expecting him to just start loving you from the get-go, but he doesn't know you. You have to give him a chance to get to know you."
Revan stared blankly at Atton. "You know, I think that's actually the first time you say something that makes sense."
Atton shrugged. "Well, it was bound to happen eventually."
She ignored his comment and stared down at the single pazaak card Atton hadn't taken away from her. She flipped it over absent-mindedly. "Thing is, I've tried… he just keeps shrinking away from me."
"That's because he's afraid of you," Atton replied. Revan's eyes opened wide and she looked like she was about to reply when he stopped her with a gesture. "What, are you surprised? You're the Dark Lord of the Sith, Rev. He's a mind-reader. Think about it for a second. I'm sure you've got a memory or two in that pretty little head of yours that might scare an eight-year-old kid."
Revan sighed. "Yes, I suppose you're… Wait." She blushed and chuckled lightly. "Did you just say that I'm pretty?"
Atton opened his mouth and furrowed his brow. "What? Oh. Well, I… I guess I did. Is that a problem?"
"No… it's just that…" She laughed. "I guess it's a good thing that Carth's not around to hear that."
"Can't a guy give a woman a compliment without getting a hard time?" he protested. "It's not like it means anything," he muttered shamefacedly.
Revan still stared at Atton incredulously, a slight tinge of pink on her cheeks. "I can't believe you think I'm pretty. The last person who said that to me was… well… Carth."
Atton glanced away and grumbled, "Well, I obviously thought so at one point… But I don't mean it the way Carth does, before you start getting funny ideas. For the record, I still hate you." He snatched the last remaining card away from Revan and put it back with his card deck. Revan smirked.
"I'm sure you do," she said, sounding skeptical.
"Look," said Atton in a desperate attempt to change the subject, "are you sure you don't want to talk about this Carth thing? I mean, I don't want to be labeled a home wrecker." Revan raised a mocking eyebrow. Atton couldn't help but grin. "Well… not anymore. Especially if I'm not even getting any perks out of the deal."
With mischievous eyes, Revan suddenly leaned over and moved closer to him. "Are you saying you wouldn't mind being called a home wrecker if you were getting perks?" She bit her lip playfully and ran a finger up his arm.
Atton glanced over to her, blushed deeply and backed away. "What? No! Stop twisting my words! And stop pretending to hit on me! It's very…" He stopped and glared at her.
"It's very what?" asked Revan with an impish smile.
"It's very disturbing," he snapped, pushing her back. "Look, Rev, we barely like each other, and—"
"Ah-hah!" exclaimed Revan victoriously. "So you do like me!"
"Well, I sure don't right now!" exploded Atton. "Are you going to keep at this until one day I cave in and tell you that I like you, whether it's true or not?"
Revan smiled and shrugged. "Pretty much."
"FINE!" he exclaimed violently. "FINE! I admit it. I—like—you. I hate you, but I like you. Are you happy?" Revan grinned in a self-satisfied manner and nodded forcefully. "Now are you going to leave me alone and stop playing with my head?" insisted Atton.
Revan laughed and backed off. "I'm sorry Jaq… It's just so easy to make you uncomfortable."
"Well, I'm glad one of us is enjoying it. You're pretty cruel. Once a Sith Lord, always a Sith Lord, I suppose," he muttered crossly. "I don't know if I hate you more as the Dark Lord Revan or as 'Liah Stari'. You're both equally infuriating. But at least the Dark Lord wasn't this much of a flirt. I'm starting to see why Carth's so paranoid."
Revan's smiled faded. "That's not fair, Jaq."
Atton shrugged. "I think it is. You keep tormenting me." He shuffled his pazaak cards and handed her half the deck. "So what is the deal with Carth, anyway? I mean, other than the fact that he's naturally paranoid. Why is he worried about me all of a sudden? So we have a kid together. You knew it all along, and you didn't throw yourself at me. Why would that change now?"
Revan bit her lip and her blue eyes dropped down to her cards, at which she stared fixedly. She slowly and deliberately laid them down in front of her one by one. She hesitated. "Carth… wants to marry me," she said.
"Well, I know that. You're engaged!"
"Yes, I know," she said quietly. "But he wants to marry me now. I love him and I can't imagine what life would be like without him…"
Atton tilted his head and arched an eyebrow. "…But?" he asked.
"But," replied Revan, "there's some stuff I need to figure out first."
"Like… what?"
Revan pawed at the cards she had laid out on the floor in front of her and gathered them all up in one swift movement. She carefully avoided Atton's gaze. "Just stuff," she muttered.
"Oh no, you don't!" snapped Atton. "You dragged me out here and made me stay behind even though I didn't want to, then forced me to get that Sithspawn to go to sleep…"
"Don't call him that!" flashed Revan.
Atton narrowed his eyes and stared right into Revan's. "SITH-SPAWN!" he repeated defiantly with much emphasis.
Revan pursed her lips, but said nothing more.
Atton picked up where he had been interrupted. "As I was saying, I had to put the Sithspawn to sleep, and then you freaked me out by hitting on me." He glared at her. "I'm bored to tears and I need some entertainment, so dammit! You're gonna talk." He shuffled his cards. "Now… I'm going to go out on a limb, here… Would this 'stuff' have anything to do with the reason why Carth's been acting so strange?"
She hesitated. "I…" Catching Atton's eye, she decided there was no longer any point in avoiding the topic. "Yes," she admitted dully.
Atton waited for her to continue, but she gave no signs of wanting to carry on with the conversation. Glancing away, she nervously pulled out the elastic band from her ponytail, and restyled her hair.
"And…?" he asked impatiently.
Revan heaved a sigh and wiped her palms down on her pants. "Fine… If you really must know, it's… well, it's got to do with my memory… with what I remembered after I left for the Unknown Regions."
"Oh!" said Atton, visibly relieved. "So it doesn't have anything to do with me, then… I was starting to wonder… I mean, what with Carth being so cold toward me…"
Revan smiled thinly. "It's got to do with my memory," she repeated, her tone final, and her eyes still not meeting Atton's. She briefly peered up and saw that Atton was waiting for her to continue. "Oh, all right!" she said, mildly annoyed. "If you really must know…" She took a deep breath. "Well, I think I told you… I remember everything now. You know—about my past. Some of it…" She laughed mirthlessly. "Well, it took me a while to deal with it—to face it. I was starting to remember it before I left… to remember what I had done. I was becoming obsessed with it. Carth… he stood by me all that time, but I was pushing him away. I knew what I had done—well, some of it, anyway, and I made good guesses at the rest. And I just couldn't handle the thought of someone like him being stuck with someone like me. He's so… good—far too good for the likes of me. I loved him, but he deserved better than me. Then one day, I realized that if I hoped to one day deserve him, I had to try and make things right. I had just remembered about the Sith threat in the Unknown Regions, and I knew that was the only way I could try and undo some of the wrong I had done. So I left, not knowing if I was ever going to come back. And after I arrived, more of my memory came flooding back to me. I…" Her eyes became fixated on the half deck of cards that lay on the floor before her. "I probably could have come back… for a visit, for a break. I missed him like you wouldn't believe. Actually…" She laughed bitterly. "I guess you would believe it."
She looked up at Atton significantly and he nodded. Her eyes dropped back down.
"Well, as you know, I didn't come back," she continued. "The truth is, I couldn't face him. I couldn't face him knowing what I'd done. Not anymore. It had been easier before I left, because I didn't remember all that much. But after a little while, I had remembered everything about my past… I remembered Daynn… and I remembered you."
Her gaze locked with Atton's, and she stopped talking. He furrowed his brow.
"Me? What about me? I mean, other than the fact that I was apparently supposed to replace Malak and that you thought I was hot—or so you say—and that you'd slept with me. I mean, no offence, but compared to the other stuff you've done, I'm pretty sure spending the night with one of your Jedi killers rates kind of low on the scale of things you should be ashamed of."
Her cheeks grew red and her heart rate sped up. "It's not… That's not the part… It was more than just that."
He studied her features carefully, suspiciously. "More? Dammit, Rev, what more are you going to hide from me?" he asked, irritated. "I'm not saying you have to tell me everything, but if it's stuff that has to do with me…" He clenched his teeth and tried to prepare himself for the worst. "What more did you not tell me?"
"The same part I refused to tell myself then," she breathed quietly. She nervously untied her hair again and said no more.
Atton exhaled deeply. "Look. Rev. I realize we've got all night and all, but as you well know, I'm not the most patient man in the galaxy. So can you please just cut the cryptic talk, and just come out and say it so we can move on to something else that's more fun, like playing pazaak or counting our brain cells as they die?"
Revan winced slightly. "Jaq…" she pleaded, biting her lip.
"Will you just say it, Rev?" he asked, becoming incensed.
She frowned. "Jaq…!" she repeated, slightly irritated.
"For Force's sake, Revan!" he flared. "Just say it!"
"Jaq!" she protested violently.
"SAY IT!" Atton bellowed.
"I LOVE YOU!" shouted Revan, exasperated.