"All right, let's try this again, shall we?" quipped Revan as she leaned over the galaxy map to set the course for Coruscant.
Atton and Carth, sitting respectively in the co-pilot's and pilot's seats, both occasionally uncomfortably glanced at each other when the other wasn't looking. Carth muttered something to himself.
"What was that?" asked Atton, immediately wishing he hadn't.
Carth turned to him, looking sour. "I said taking off would be a hell of a lot easier if you hadn't practically wrapped us around that tree," he growled.
"Well, forgive me for trying to save our lives while you held on to this seat for dear life," Atton replied acerbically as he buckled himself in. Yes, this is a good way to get back in the man's good graces… accuse him of being a coward. You know damn well you'd have been doing the exact same thing if you had been in his shoes. I wonder if Revan told him how she feels about me. Force, I hope not. This could be a very unpleasant trip. Thankfully, Coruscant's not that far away.
Atton glanced over his shoulder at the small crowd of people that had gathered up behind him and Carth in the cockpit. "Shouldn't you people be buckled down somewhere other than here?" he asked, snapping at them in an effort to avoid snapping at Carth. "There are way too many people in here. Bao—you sure your repairs will hold?"
"They'd better!" replied the Zabrak, raising an eyebrow.
"Make that they'd damn well better!" commented Atton. "This planet is wearing a little thin. All right then—all of you who don't need to be here, get out." He shot a threatening glare across the room. "That includes you, Revan. I had enough of you hovering over my shoulder on the way down," he glowered.
Carth cast Atton a quizzical sidelong glance as he started up the engines. Revan opened her mouth in protest, but closed it again, reflecting that it was probably best not to be left alone with the two men. Besides, it was the first time Atton talked to her since the night she told him how she felt about him, and she didn't want to start another argument. She obediently walked out without a word, much to everyone's surprise—everyone, except Atton, who was slowly becoming accustomed to her silence.
It had been two days since Revan and Atton returned from their overnight stay aboard Jena's ship. The two had been carefully staying away from each other during that time, and their mutual avoidance had not gone unnoticed by the crew. By now, all were used to Atton and Revan's scenes and heated arguments, which usually ended up with Atton calling her every name in the book, or with Revan leaving the room in a huff—or both. So it seemed strange to witness an eerie silence at all times on board, safe for the occasional sound of clashing lightsabers emanating from the cargo hold after dark, when Mira and Dustil got bored of playing pazaak.
Mira, uncharacteristically, couldn't quite pinpoint the cause of the quietness and of the weird tension between certain crewmembers: Revan, Atton, Carth, Jena, and Mical. That is, she was able to take a good guess as to why there may have been tension between Atton and Mical, but couldn't quite grasp why there should be any between the others. Clearly something had occurred between Atton and Revan to force their unusual silence. She assumed it may have had something to do with Daynn, and perhaps with the new sleeping arrangements—as the moment Atton, Revan, and Daynn returned from spending the night in Jena's ship, it was decreed that the current ones would no longer do.
"Are we having this discussion again?" Atton asked. "This is getting really old. I thought we figured all that out before picking up Bao-Dur. Are you suddenly unhappy with your choice of roommates?" he added maliciously, innocently glancing at Dustil, who blushed furiously and shot him a black look.
Mira's eyes narrowed. "Actually, if you must know, it's the other roommate I'm trying to get rid of," she said sharply. Not at all bothered, Atton laughed. "Look, Atton, I love Jena like a sister. And I love you like that annoying cousin nobody ever talks about at family reunions. But no offense, I just don't want to be in the same rooms as the two of you together any more than I want to be in the same room as Revan and Carth. None of us do."
Atton scoffed. "Right. And you think I want to sleep in the same room as them?"
"That's not the point, Atton!" said Mira impatiently. "You guys can work out some sort of… schedule. I don't know. Figure something out. All I know is you're moving out of the portside room, and Bao-Dur is moving in. You and Jena can move into the starboard room…"
Atton's nostrils flared. "I am not moving into the same room as…" He stopped when he realized that by protesting too loudly, he might attract some unwanted questions from the crew. He took a deep breath. "Fine. FINE!" he finally said, knowing full well that it was all a very, very bad idea. "But the moment I see Carth naked, I'm out of there."
"I should hope so," commented Dustil, shuddering.
Just as soon as Atton had agreed to sleep in the same room as Revan, he started plotting out an alternate plan. The first night the new sleeping arrangements were supposed to take effect, Atton made some comment about there not being enough beds for the lot of them in that one room, and headed off to the cockpit, falling asleep in the pilot's seat with his feet up on the control board as Bao-Dur loudly worked on his repairs. When Jena saw Atton leave the room without even wishing her goodnight, she had looked at him strangely, but had said nothing. Atton woke up the next morning, peered over to his right, and noticed that Jena had fallen asleep in similar fashion in the co-pilot's seat. She even had some pazaak cards lying across her lap… though most had made their way to the floor. Atton had initially smiled—she was so cute when she slept—but his smile had quickly faded, and he felt unnerved. What if she were to ask him the real reason why he decided to sleep in the cockpit? They had shared single beds before, and that was likely what Jena had expected they would be doing—likely what everyone had expected they would do. Would he have to lie to Jena, to hide from her the reason why he simply couldn't bring himself to fall asleep in the same room as Revan? …As Revan and Carth?
How could I possibly do that after what Revan told me? But I can't tell Jena about what Revan said… at least not yet. There's enough tension aboard this ship already.
He had stared longingly at Jena's peaceful sleeping face, vaguely wondering if Mical had been right in saying he would only hurt her. First guilt, then confusion overtook him—after all, what had he done to feel guilty for?
The next day, Atton had barely even seen Revan at all. He followed Jena around faithfully all day long, until she laughed and compared him to a kinrath pup—and went to meditate with Mical. At that point, he tracked down Bao-Dur and tried to make himself useful by helping him with the final repairs. The Zabrak had raised an inquisitive eyebrow, confused as to why Atton suddenly offered his help when he expected him to be training with Revan, but he had wisely kept his questions to himself. After all, help was help, and he wasn't about to sneer at it.
The only awkward moment that day had been when Atton looked over his shoulder when he heard someone walk in and found himself looking at Revan, who had walked into the cockpit to check with Bao-Dur on the progress of the repairs. After their eyes locked for an instant, Atton immediately turned his attention back to his repairs, and Revan, her cheeks crimson, left the cockpit as soon as she conceivably could. Atton's exterior did not betray any emotion, but he ended up having to later redo all the work he started doing after Revan arrived in the room, as he made some rather ludicrous errors while she was there.
The second night, Atton shuffled off to the cockpit again without even bothering to give anyone an explanation that time around. By the next morning, all repairs had been done, and the group was now ready to depart for what all but Mira and Dustil fondly hoped would be their last trip together. The tension was practically palpable between certain crewmembers. All secretly felt that there were far too many bodies on board. The wayworn crew was relieved that soon all this stepping on each other's toes would be over and done with. Atton in particular yearned to finally be away from Revan, Carth, and Mical, and to be alone with Jena—blissfully alone.
Carth turned on the engines, and Revan disappeared from the cockpit. Jena, who had silently been watching the scene from the back of the group, wordlessly walked up to Atton, kissed his forehead lingeringly, looked as though she was about to say something, but changed her mind and walked out. Atton turned his head and watched her leave, something inexplicably gnawing at his heart. I have a very, very bad feeling. Did she look sad? I could swear she looked sad. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Turning into an Onasi, after being around them for so damn long. But I'm sure she looked sad. He instantly got the urge to madly rush out after her and apologize even though he knew he didn't really have anything to apologize for.
"Atton!" a voice next to him spoke sharply.
Atton jerked his head back toward Carth, who looked at him scrutinizingly. "Are you going to help me get this heap of metal off the ground, or what?" the admiral demanded.
Atton shook his head violently in an effort to obliterate from his mind the thoughts he had been having. He fastened his seatbelt and reached for the console.
"Yeah… sorry, man," he grunted. "Just… thinking."
"I'll bet," muttered Carth.
They heard a snort behind them and both glanced over their shoulders at once. Mical, who had been standing by and observing them, smirked and exited the cockpit. Both pilots' eyes locked.
"I don't trust that guy," said Carth through his teeth.
"You don't trust him?" scoffed Atton. "At least he doesn't seem to repeatedly try to kill you or to steal your girlfriend."
The moment Atton uttered those words he regretted them. No, he just thinks you're trying to steal his girlfriend, moron.
Carth gave Atton a long look, but said nothing. He then turned his attention back to the control panel. Atton's brow wrinkled.
"Listen… Carth…"
Carth shook his head and pursed his lips. "Let's just get this piece of junk going," he said gravely.
Atton briefly shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and focused his attention to his task. Yup, this will be a very fun trip.
The Ebon Hawk successfully lifted off, and as they left Myrkr behind, Atton suddenly felt his connection to the Force return. He took a deep breath. He was relieved: at least he would no longer have to deal with the constant fluctuation between areas where he was connected to the Force, and those where he was not. Unfortunately, he also realized that his mind was now left open for anyone to read; or at least, for anyone with a connection to the Force to read. He glanced at Carth with the ghost of a self-satisfied smile. He knew he at least didn't have to worry about him. But as for the rest of the crew… He sneered and immediately went back to his old habits of counting cards. He knew that trick would not help protect his thoughts against Daynn's mind-reading abilities, but at least no one else on board, as far as he knew, would be able to access his thoughts.
As they entered hyperspace, Atton sank back comfortably into his seat. Thank the Force this trip is almost over. I can't wait to be away from… He glanced swiftly at Carth—who stared forcibly ahead of him and did his best to act nonchalant—and rolled his eyes. Speaking of getting away… I think I've worn out my welcome here. He doesn't need me anymore. I should probably go off and see… He frowned slightly. Who would he go see? Jena and Mical were likely doing some sort of training… Mira and Dustil would be off in some corner together. He hadn't spoken to Mira one-on-one in days. Bao-Dur would be looking after the ship and hanging out with droids, including HK-47, meaning that Atton didn't want to be anywhere near him. And that left—Revan, Daynn, and Carth. He shut his eyes, clenched his teeth and tried his best to refrain from shaking his head, as he felt Carth's eyes boring in on him. Atton furtively peered at him from the corning of his eye and saw that Carth seemed about to say something, and that his eyebrows were arched in that odd manner he always sported them whenever he wanted to bring up an unpleasant topic. Atton mentally shuddered and quickly tried to come up with the best excuse he could think of to get himself out of the cockpit before Carth spoke up. He estimated that he probably had a few seconds left before Carth opened his mouth, so however way he was going to try and excuse himself, he had to think of it fast. Whatever it is, it can't involve Revan in any way. So I can't use the training excuse. Daynn? No, he wouldn't fall for that… I've never shown any interest in what he was up to before… And Bao-Dur doesn't need help fixing stuff anymore, so I can't—
"So… vornskrs, huh?" Carth blurted absent-mindedly.
Frack. Too late.
"I beg your pardon?" Atton knew perfectly well what Carth was getting at, but he chose to play dumb in an effort to buy himself some time while he figured out a way to duck out of the conversation.
Carth pointed at Atton's now mostly healed leg.
"Vornskrs. They attacked you. Are they really that vicious?"
Atton's left eye twitched slightly.
"No, not at all…" he drawled. "I only had half my calf hanging off the bone."
Carth tried to look as casual as he could, but failed to conceal the suspicious that was clearly gnawing away at his mind.
"Then if you where really that injured, how come you went off into the forest with Liah to look for Daynn instead of going back to the ship?"
There it is.
Atton took a deep breath and spoke in an overly patient tone. "Well, for one thing, Revan did a pretty good job healing me right then. The pain didn't really kick in again until about an hour later, at which point I could barely walk. For another thing, I felt guilty about losing Daynn the way I did, and I knew Jena would kill me if I returned without him." He smiled unpleasantly. "Not to mention that that woman of yours is real good at pushing my buttons and making me do stuff just to prove her wrong," he added nastily.
"Hard not to notice," Carth said blankly.
Dammit! No, you're supposed to steer the conversation away from Revan. AWAY! Not remind the man of the constant tension that exists between the two of you!
"How far away was this ship, anyway?" Carth enquired innocently.
Atton caught on to Carth's insinuations. "Too far to come back without risking getting attacked again," he replied firmly. "Look, Carth, I know where you're going with these questions, so why don't you just save us both some time, cut the crap, and come right out and say it?"
Carth sat back in his seat and stared directly into Atton's eyes. "What happened that night between you and Liah?" he demanded point-blank.
Atton choked on his own spittle. Despite the fact he had asked Carth to be blunt, he was still taken aback by the question.
"Carth! Buddy! Seriously! Nothing happened," Atton replied wide-eyed, wondering at the back of his mind if it were really completely true. "I mean, don't get me wrong, she's cute and all, but…"
Carth's left eye narrowed barely perceptibly and he slowly raised an eyebrow. "No. What I mean was, did you guys have a fight? You haven't spoken to each other in two days."
Frack. Is that what he meant? Well this conversation is going from bad to worse. Way to sound defensive and guilty, genius.
Atton scrambled to correct his blunder. "Oh. Well, you know how we are… We're always fighting. It's kind of an ongoing thing. I can't think of a time when we're not fighting some way or other." You're reminding him of the tension again. Force! Shut up! Shut up NOW!
Carth pursed his lips. "Hard to miss," he replied bitterly. Atton's gaze wavered. "I just wanted to know if something particularly bad had happened between you two. I mean, like you said, you guys always fight… but you've never stopped talking to each other because of it before. Not even that time when she insinuated that HK would make a better Jedi than you, and you started insulting her mother in Huttese." Atton grimaced inwardly. Thanks. I'd forgotten about that one. Carth shifted his weight and sighed. "So I ask you again: what happened between you and Liah?"
Atton gritted his teeth and mumbled, "Nothing. Just a stupid argument like the others. It'll blow over." I really, really hope it does, because I can't deal with this.
Carth studied him carefully through narrow eyes. He raised a suspicious eyebrow. "What did she tell you?"
Atton swallowed and his foot started to jiggle. He moved it behind his other steadier foot to conceal his nervousness.
"Why does it have to be something she told me? You know me and my big mouth. I'm always prattling on, saying the wrong thing." This conversation being the perfect example.
Carth smiled mockingly. "All right, then, what did you tell her?"
Atton blinked a few times, wondering what he could possibly invent. Carth snorted and shook his head. "Not very good at making stuff up on the spot, are you?" His face grew serious. "What did she tell you, Atton?" he insisted.
Atton's cheeks reddened and he tried desperately not to look uncomfortable. "Nothing… nothing…" he lied. " Just a stupid argument, like I said. Something stupid about our past. I don't really know why we've been sulking this long. I should go talk to her. We need to put this behind us. I really need to get back to training." Please, anything to get away from this!
Carth stared at him coldly. "Do you have feelings for her?" he demanded.
Atton's eyes widened and he gasped. "What? No… No!" he answered vehemently. "Carth, this is crazy. I love Jena. You know that."
Carth swallowed and asked in a quiet, desperate tone, "Does she have feelings for you?"
Atton gaped at him, almost frightened, not knowing what he should say. He paused for a moment and answered slowly, "Why should she? She's got you."
"We need to talk."
Atton walked into the security room where Revan stood, closely studying the workings of the communications device she was about to use, and closed the door behind him.
Looking up, Revan turned to face him and eyed him scrutinizingly. "Okay," she said. "What did you want to talk about?"
Atton shook his head.
"No, I mean quite literally—we need to talk. In general. We need to stop with this silence nonsense. People—and by people, I mostly mean Carth—are weirded out by the fact that we haven't been talking… or more precisely, arguing. I think he's starting to think… Force, I'm not entirely sure what he's starting to think, but I think he's on the right track. I just got out of the most awkward conversation ever with him." Revan frowned and Atton gesticulated animatedly. "Revan, he asked me if you have feelings for me." He nervously ran his hand through his hair. "What the hell am I supposed to answer to straight forward questions like that?"
Revan's face turned white and her eyes widened. "What did you say?" she asked pressingly. "So help me, Jaq, if you told him—"
"I didn't!" Atton replied forcefully. "What do you think I am, some sort of moron?" He winced slightly and quickly added, "Please don't answer that." He shot her a baleful look. "I managed to wriggle my way out of that fun conversation, but I don't know how much longer my little unconvincing 'Why would she want me when she's got you?' act will work. Not that it's completely untrue—I really do kind of wonder that. But he still won't buy it next time around, true or not, and he'll ask for an actual answer. You know he will." Revan nodded slowly. "So anyway," he concluded, "we need to start acting like we normally do again." He looked perplexed. "Why haven't you been talking to me, anyway? If nothing else, I should be the one who doesn't want to talk to you."
Revan sneered. "Well, you haven't exactly made any efforts to talk to me either."
Atton exploded and threw his arms out. "Well, come on, Rev! Can you blame me? First you tell me…" He stopped and lowered his voice drastically. "First you tell me you… love me… then you try to kiss me, then you just abandon me on that ship… I mean, honestly, Rev, what the hell?"
Revan became flustered. "I didn't… I don't… What I…" She paused and composed herself. "I did not try to kiss you," she said sharply, drawing herself up, her eyes flashing.
Atton laughed sardonically. "Oh, is that so, my Lord? Please. I was there. I have to say, I wasn't expecting you to outright deny it, but then again, I should've seen it coming."
"I didn't!" she vociferated. "If anything, it was you who… who…"
Atton slowly walked up to her and stood directly in front of her, inches from her face, grinning widely, mockingly. "It was me who who what? Who tried to kiss you, Rev?" He laughed. "Give me a break. If I hadn't backed away in time, you'd have been sucking on my face like a mynock on power converter."
Revan's face turned a deep red. "Why, you despicable, arrogant, egotistical…"
Atton shrugged. "Go ahead. Insult me. Won't do you much good; I've already been called every name in the book, my Lord. Fact of the matter is, I'm right, and you can't bear the thought. You probably rewrote your memory to convince yourself otherwise, but deep down you know it."
"I know what, exactly?" snapped Revan, glaring at him.
"That if I hadn't resisted your advances of questionable ethics, and if Daynn hadn't walked in, you'd me in a hell of a lot more trouble than you are now, Lordship," Atton replied flippantly, smirking, unperturbed by Revan's glares.
"Oh, and you wouldn't be?"
Atton raised an eyebrow. "Hey, don't you go turning this around on me! I'm not the one who tried to kiss you."
"This time," Revan replied nastily.
"Oh. Mature. What, are we going to be dragging out ancient history, now? That's of course assuming I can actually believe what you told me. You do seem to have a way of changing events in your head…"
"Fine," she snapped. "Fine. Don't believe me. And don't believe you wanted to kiss me the other night, despite the fact that I could see it in your eyes. Believe what you want. I don't care. I have work to do." She turned back to the communications device. "Now shut up or get out. I have a message to send."
Atton frowned. "A message?"
"Yes, Jaq, a message!" Revan said impatiently. "To Coruscant. We need to meet with the Jedi Order when we get there."
Atton immediately forgot about his argument with Revan and started a brand new one. "The Jedi Order?" he shouted. "Are you insane? Do you know what they tried to do to Jena last time we met with those geezers?"
Revan sighed. "Yes, Jaq… She told me. It won't happen this time."
"Oh really!" Atton said, his words dripping with sarcasm. "Funny enough, one of those guys assured me they wouldn't harm her, right before they tried to cut her from the Force. How could you possibly know what they'll do?"
"Because, Jaq, the Jedi Masters you're talking about are dead. Others had to step in to replace them. They won't hurt Jena, I promise." Revan shook her head and grumbled to herself. "I'm more worried about what she'll do to me when she finds out about Daynn. Now stay in that corner. I don't need her to be introduced to you quite yet."
Revan pushed a few buttons on the device as Atton peered suspiciously at her. "Her?" he asked.
Before Revan could reply, a hologram activated itself above the console. It was a bit scrambled at first, but slowly came into focus. A face appeared—a young woman in her mid-twenties with long brown hair, and mocking brown eyes. Atton reflected that while she certainly was very attractive, there was definitely something cold and haughty about her stare. She smirked at Revan.
"Well, well, well…" the woman said sarcastically. "The prodigal daughter returns!"
Revan folded her arms and looked at the woman defiantly. "Nice to see you too, princess!"
Author's Notes: Whew! Sorry it took so long to post this chapter... Life's been insane over the past couple weeks. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews so far. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter.
Just so you know, as my Yahoo group was getting a little confusing, I started up a small message board community instead, and it's an excellent way to harrass me about overdue updates. ;) Visit my author's page and click on "homepage".
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