tears that ain't comin' Chapter 1: tears that ain't comin', a x-men: the movie fanfic

Disclaimer: i own the clothes on my back, my boyfriend, and my chemistry book, that's it. i saw X-men 1 when i was a little kid… 10 maybe. scared me so bad… for weeks all i could think about was Wolverine's claws shooting out of his hands and the pain he must have felt. that's really the only thing i remember from the movie. i haven't seen the second or the third one, but i REALLY want to. i'm going to do that soon. i saw a few episodes of the little X-men thing that cartoon network showed a couple years ago. Rogue was my favorite character in that series, i watched it just cause i liked her, she was everything i wanted to be and not afraid to be herself (the rest of it was cool… the mutants and all, but i really could relate to Rogue… all the other teens were very childish). i just… i've always felt like her, exactly. and there's that tiny bit of Wolverine in me to. hard to say weather i dread it or love it, but it's there. (i love it, but it can be hard to deal with at times)
Um… all that to say, i hope i've done a decent job representing the characters. i would like to think thati have, as i instantly connected with both Rogue and Wolverine… but, eh, what can i say? i haven't really seen the movies. i'm drawing mostly from personal experience here.
Oh. also… the song scattered throughout (hopefully you'll be able to tell what's the song and what's not?) is called Iris and it's by the Goo Goo Dolls. (odd name if you ask me, but this song really helped me through some tough times) (listen to it at www . purevolume . com)
That's all ah got. Enjoy.
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And ah'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause ah know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that ah'll ever be
And ah don't want to go home right now

She sat at the window, watching the rain. It was Friday evening and everyone was out having fun. She hated it, but when she was alone her thoughts often strayed to the wanderer. Her wanderer.

He was gone, again. Again, again, it repeated slowly in her head… again, again, again…

Tonight she broke down. It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be that last. She stared out the window as the tears poured down her face. It wasn't just one thing that set her off, it never was. Lately she'd just gone through too many things and finally lost the will to fight. She found that she broke down about once a week when he was gone. Her other friends did what they could, but often they weren't even aware that she was in pain. When he was there, she never broke down. He wouldn't let her. Anytime she was sad, he was there. But when he was gone, things were different.
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He stood outside the school. Now that he was here, somehow it was different. Same old place he figured, but perhaps he'd changed.

Logan hadn't been feeling too well lately. He didn't regret leaving, he needed a break, but something just wasn't right. Before he'd always felt completely satisfied off on his own. Not this time. This time the dreams of a girl he'd left behind hadn't gone away, nor showed any signs of doing so. Everything reminded him of her, and the constant reminder was more than he could take. Yeah, he missed her. So what? He tried to reason with himself, but the fact was that he couldn't remember missing anyone before, let alone imagine missing anyone this much.

So he decided to go back. He'd thought about going back; he'd even started a couple of times…
But this time he'd gotten there. And he'd decided that if she… if she… (he could never bring himself to finish that thought) well, he'd decided he just might stay this time.
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And all ah can taste is this moment
And all ah can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
Ah just don't want to miss you tonight

She would have heard him come in had she not been sobbing. She'd been crying off and on for half and hour now, though if anyone had asked she would have denyed it.

The next thing she knew she was in his arms, and he making noises she knew to be comforting noises.
Him, it was him… was she dreaming? She pulled away, not quite sure what was happening.

When she pulled back he got a good look at her. She looked awful, as most people who have been sobbing look. Yet she was always still beautiful to. It was as if she could never be anything but beautiful in his eyes.

She tried to rub her eyes on her sleeve, she'd not bothered to do that before, but now was ashamed to be seen like this. It didn't work very well as she had already soaked her sleaves with tears. She made herself caml down and tried to act as if nothing was wrong, like she'd done ever since he'd left. "Hey, what's up?" she asked, in a voice as carefree as she could manage.

"Maybe you'd better tell me."

"I'm fine." She lied.

"Sure, and I'm your aunt."

"Very funny."

"Tell me what's wrong kid."

And ah don't want the world to see me
'Cause ah don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
Ah just want you to know who ah am

She was tired of crying, tired of life in general. Too tired to fight anymore. She looked into his eyes and gave up. She might have been able to pull it off with everyone else, but there was no fooling him. "How about ah save time bytelling you what's right?"

He grunted. "Whatever you want."

She paused for a moment, almost contemplating telling him what was wrong. What are you thinking? He's the one who left, he's the one who hurt you. "Why are you here?" why was he here? Had he come back for her? Her mind raced… she was so mad at him, and yet a small part of her was glad to see him.

"Why am I here?" he thought for a moment before answering. He wanted to tell her, but now probably wasn't the best time. Who knew what else was going on? He shrugged. "Don't know exactly… but right now I'm here to make you feel better."

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

Doesn't really love me. Prolly never did. Just… came back for a change? She turned away. "I'm a little tired." She said lamely. "I'm going to go get some sleep." She quickly left the room as new tears started down her face.

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
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i'm planning to do more… just wanted to see how this went. Constructive criticism appreciated. If no one reviews theni probably won't post something like this again... so if you liked it let me know.