Disclaimer: Still don't own PotC, or Will for that matter. -bummed-
A/N: This is the only fic in which I allow improper grammar! Because it fits, you can't have a rap song w/out bad grammar! It's like Jack w/out his rum, Gov. Swann w/out his wig, Will w/out Liz...etc. Also, there is a language warning on this one.
Scene Three:
(Beckett takes the stage, and Jack prepares to hold his ears)
"Welcome to the E.I.T.C" is sung/rapped to the tune of "Welcome to Detroit City" by Eminem.
(Loud music starts)
Beckett: -shouts- "Lord Beckett, featuring James Norrington!"
Lord Beckett: -sings-
Where's my soldiers and navy chums?
Blast them cannons and show me love
Welcome to the E.I.T.C.!
I said, welcome to the E.I.T.C.
Gov. Swann: whispers- "What's the E.I.T.C.?"
Jack: -scared- "The East India Trading Company - they're the only ones that ever came close to catching me!"
Beckett: -gangsta-
Every place everywhere we go
Man, we hunt pirates as we roll
Ask the navy - they all know Beckett
Ask whats good, then they all say Beckett!
(Verse 1 - Lord Beckett)
Click click boom, just as soon as we hit the room
You can hear 'em holla Cutthroat Squad in this bitch
Let me hear you holla Cutthroat Squad in this bitch
Let me hear you holla Tortuga in this bitch
So who am I gonna call on when my navy boys ain't with me?
And the situation gets a little sticky
Jack: -flings ale on Beckett-
Beckett: -appalled, continues rapping-
I'ma call on Norrie, like a mo-fin' pirate, f that, bla bla
I'ma call that Com'dore from da navy
Quick come pick me up, bring them guns
Come to the tavern, meet me out front
There's some knave up in Tortuga
Chuggin' some rum cause he's drunk
Jack: -innocent look-
Beckett: -evil-
And we may have to brand his arm up
Cause uh somethin' smells a like pirate
And I don't like the way his crew keep lookin' at me
So homie come get me! Shut up boys what up though I see you
Jack Sparrow, yea I see you, all my Navy people
Where you at, man? Let me see them hands clapped in irons
We be pirate hunters, we on fire!
Jack -hurls flaming PotC2 skull of doom at Beckett, who ducks-
(Chorus - Lord Beckett)
-really getting into it now-
Where's my soldiers and navy chums?
Blast them cannons and show me love
Welcome to the E.I.T.C.!
I said, welcome to the E.I.T.C.
Every place, everywhere we go
Man, we hunt pirates as we roll
Ask da navy - they all know Beckett
Ask whats good then they all say Beckett!
(Norrington takes the mike)
Jack: -hides behind Gov. Swann as Norrington takes the stage, remembering said Commodore's suggestive comments in Scene Two-
(Verse 2 - Norrie)
-scruffy-looking-
Homie its been a long time comin' and I'm straight with that
Cutler called me ruthless and laid the path
This the beat you hear it bangin', he produced it himself
My bad almost forgot to introduce the Lord
His name is Cutler, head of the Cutthroat Squad
Beckett: -smug, points to self-
Norrie: -continues rapping-
He's bad-ass, been huntin' those pirates since 1695 we bangin'
Elected to be the villain, and certified a menace
Holdin' it down since I be MIA, chucked outta da navy
You heard about him, you just didn't know it was him
All the treacherous, evil deeds of the navy you ever see yeah that was him
Pickin' Sparrow up in the game, he just wasn't chasin' the fame
He been chasin' the pirate menace and givin' them the pain!
East India Trading Comp'ny, you know you rich he be
He makes a million pounds, this ain't no tea party!
And my boy holdin' me up, Cutler done put it out
Beckett and Norrington, da navy in the house
Jack: -was scared, now is terrified-
(Chorus - Lord Beckett)
Where's my soldiers and navy chums?
Blast them cannons and show me love
Welcome to the E.I.T.C.!
I said, welcome to the E.I.T.C.
Every place, everywhere we go
Man, we hunt pirates as we roll
Ask da navy - they all know Beckett
Ask whats good then they all say Beckett!
(Verse 3 - Lord Beckett)
Ayo James, you ever need one of these ships come get it
From now on every pirate that you catch homie I'm in it
I been sailin' for Tortuga, whether wrong or right
I been whippin' them sinful pirates for the longest time
So its evident, its time for Cutler to get it fast
The public, see they appreciate my E.I.T.C. past
Pirates did attack me but they can't stop this gig
Got a fan base thats bigger than my fluffy white wig!
Jack: -giggles-
Beckett -glare-
Jack: -shuts up-
Beckett: -continues-
My ship be speedin', she be called da Endeavour Yeah I come from the navy - we all hunt pirates forever!
I ain't sayin' the shit that I'm sayin' so girls can feel me
Only speakin' on what I know so the world can hear me
So peace to the King for signin' my boy Nor,
He come back to da navy and started a pirate war
So my soldiers and chums, we embrace the love
And beat the hell outta anyone that fs with us!
(Chorus - Lord Beckett)
Where my soldiers and navy chums?
Blast them cannons and show me love
Welcome to the E.I.T.C.!
I said, welcome to the E.I.T.C.
Every place, everywhere we go
Man, we hunt pirates as we roll
Ask the navy - they all know Beckett
Ask whats good then they all say Beckett!
Outro Norrie
-thuggish-
Yeah! Cutler.
Norrington, Lord Beckett...da Navy
It's goin down baby
Ayo Beck I got your back my homie
Damn right I said my homie
That's my homie...
Cutler!
(song ends, Norrie and Cutler take a bow)
During the intermission, the trance music from the PotC2 soundtrack (12) plays.
Jack: "Where did you get that?"
Norrie: "On your feet!"
(3 minutes into the song, Gov. Swann gets up and starts doing the robot. He falls and breaks his ankle, but no one notices since the only two people who really care about him -Will and Liz- are still on their honeymoon.)
Jack: -ignores Weatherby and prepares a rebuttal song-
He hums under his breath, "Tryin' to catch me sailin' dirty..."
End ch: 3
What do you think about Jack's next song? Yay or nay?