Disclaimer: PotC is not mine! It's Ted and Terry's baby (I love those guys! They're my homies!)
A/N: Major DMC spoilers! I know that Will and Elizabeth's wedding was 'postponed' in DMC, but in my Goofy Musical version, Lord Beckett never interrupted the wedding! They were married and none of that nonsense with Jack and Elizabeth ever happened! (Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?) Of course, Jack still thinks Elizabeth is one hot lady... Strong T rating for lots of innuendo (It is a hard T, the way the movie is a hard PG-13) And yes, bad grammar runs rampant in this one.
(Will and Elizabeth take the stage, quietly arguing over -what else- Jack Sparrow.)
Will: "It seems to me that of late, Jack has been acting flirty... ER towards you. And you've been egging him on."
Liz: -shrilly- "Don't be ridiculous!"
(Music starts)
"Adventurous Girl", sung to the tune of "Promiscuous Girl" by Nelly Furtado
Liz: "Ready for our lesson?"
Will: -grins- "Always."
(both unsheath swords, ready to playfight)
Liz: -smirks- "I thought so."
Will: -baritone voice-
How you doin' Missus Turner
I'm warnin' you, Sparrow sees you just as the rum-burner
You don't have ta explain the inside joke
I was at a loss of words first time that we spoke
(They cross swords, and share a knowing smile, remembering the fateful day Elizabeth saved Will from drowining when they were twelve.)
Liz: If you looking for a girl that'll treat you right
If you lookin', look no further - yeah I'll be your light
Will: You are just my type, yeah I played my cards right
I'll find out by the end of the night
-winks suggestively-
Liz: You expect me to just let you in
But will you still respect me if I let you in?
(Swords clang as they fight around the stage)
Will: All I can do is try, give me one chance
What's the problem? I can see my ring on your hand
Will: -winks- I be the first to admit it, I'm fortunate to know, you're not so innocent
Liz: You wanna get in my world, get lost in it?
Will: -smiles and nods-
Liz: Boy I'm tired of fightin', lets rest for a minute
-Chorus-
Will: Adventurous Girl
We're husband and wife
I'm your pirate
And you're my only love
Liz: -teasingly- Adventurous Boy
You already know
That I'm all yours
What 'choo waiting for?
Will: -pleading- Adventurous Girl
You teasin' me
You know what I want
And I got what you need!
Jack: -mutters- "I beg to differ..."
Will and Liz: -continue, ignoring Jack's comment-
Liz: Adventurous Boy
Let's get to the point
(Picks up sword, aims it at Will)
Cause we on a roll
You ready?
(Will and Liz resume their fighting stance)
Liz: Soldiers wear red
Norrington is blue
Norrington: -sobs loudly, still distraught about leaving the Navy-
Liz: Chivalry is dead
But not with you!
Will: -gorgeous smile-
Thanks. I can't keep my mind off you
You're my girl, do you know that I love you?
Liz: Not a simple-minded girl, I'm full of emotions
Get you on my level, then our love'll span oceans!
(They parry, continue swordfighting across the stage)
Will: -piratey-
They call me William
last name Turner
Recognize your moods
I'm a real fast learner
(Out of breath, they sheath their swords)
Liz: -caresses Will's sword-
I'm a big girl I can handle myself
But if I get lonely I'ma need your help
Pay attention to me, make me writhe and yelp
Will: -hungry gaze- I want you in my bed.
Liz: -grins- So does everybody else.
Will: Lizzie, we can keep it on the low
What you thinkin'? Ain't nobody gotta know
I have seen how you look, how you gaze at Jack
Liz: -confused- What kind of girl do you take me for?
Chorus-
Will: -really hot- Adventurous Girl
We're husband and wife
I'm your pirate
And you're my only love
Liz: -teasingly- Adventurous Boy
You already know
That I'm all yours
What you waiting for?
Will: -sexy man- Adventurous Girl
You teasin' me
You know what I want
And I got what you need!
Jack: -coughs- "Eunuch!"
Will and Liz: -ignore-
Liz: Adventurous Boy
Let's get to the point
Cause we on a roll
You ready?
(They start practicing their swordfighting again)
Will: Don't be mad, don't get mean
Liz: Don't get mad, don't be mean
Will: Hey! (Liz nicked his shoulder)
Don't be mad, don't get mean
Liz: Don't get mad, don't be mean
Will: Wait! I don't mean no harm
I can see you with my white shirt on
(They set their swords to the side)
Liz: -feral grin- I can see you with nothing on!
Clear it with me before you bring that on
Will: Bring that on...
Liz: -innocently-You know what I mean
Will: -smirks- Girl, I'm a pirate, you shouldn't say those things...
Liz: -serious- I'm only trying to get inside your brain
Are you jealous of Jack like the way you say?
Will: -shrugs- It's okay, it's alright
Our love was destiny, that you'll like
Liz: Hey is that the truth about Cupid's arrow?
Or are you a great liar like Captain Sparrow?
Will: -gaze confirms their love is true-
(Chorus)
Will: -sex on a stick- Adventurous Girl
We're husband and wife
I'm your pirate
And you're my only love!
Liz: -teasingly- Adventurous Boy
I'm callin' your name
But you're driving me crazy
The way you makin me wait
Will: -has a hot back- Adventurous Girl
You're teasin' me
You know what I want
And I got what you need
Liz: -come hither gaze- Adventurous Boy
We're one in the same
So we don't gotta play games no more!
(End song)
Will and Liz: -walk off the stage hand in hand-
Audience: -cheers loudly-
Jack: -sighs- "Oh bugger..."
End Ch. 5
Reviews please!
This is the end of the Goofy Musical...although I might add one more song if the mood strikes me right.