She stepped into Club Hel and it was not the normal goth crowd. Instead she saw The Twins, One and Two on the stage. And in the club there were what looked like middle aged people and preppy looking college aged kids. It looked brighter than usual. A few moments later she was greeted by Persephone.
"What's going on here?" Agent Higgins asked.
"Merv thought it would be profitable to jump on the Kareoke bandwagon." She explained.
Agent Higgins rolled her eyes from behind her dark sunglasses.
"You have got to be kidding me? Kareoke is so... so..."
"Human?" Persephone finished.
"Yeah."
"You okay?" Persephone inquired. She could tell something was wrong.
"No, I'm okay. Why?" She lied.
"No, you're not." Persephone said.
"Falcon broke it off with me." She explained.
"Are you serious?" She looked surprised.
"Yeah, he gave me the whole speech about how wonderful and beautiful I was, but he wasn't in love with me."
"I think you need a drink my dear."
"Persephone, I've never drank before."
"Now is a good time to start. Bartender, two shots of tequila please."
"Tequila?"
"With salt and lime."
"Why would we need the salt and lime?" Agent Higgins asked.
"That is how you drink tequila my dear."
A few seconds later, the bartender returned with two shots of Jose' Cuervo. Agent Higgins took her shot glass and sniffed it. The smell was strong.
"Oh shit!" She gasped.
"Take it easy!" Persephone told her. "Now do like I do."
Agent Higgins took off her dark sunglasses and set them on the bar. She watched as Persephone sucked the space in between her thumb and forefinger, sprinkled salt and on the spot and sucked it. She then watched as she took the shot glass and shot it straight down and immediately bit down on the lime.
"Now your turn." She said.
She everything Persephone did, but when she took the shot, it felt like liquid fire going down her throat.
"Oh my God this burns!" She gasped.
The initial shock finally wore off and all of a sudden she felt tingly and lightheaded. She loosened her tie and leaned back against the bar. A few seconds later, she reached back to the back of her head, loosening her ponytail and letting her long red hair free. For the first time that day she felt relaxed. Of course the tequila was helping as well.
"Want another?" Persephone offered.
"Sure why not?' She answered.
Over the course of 30 minutes Persephone ordered a couple more rounds and by this time Agent Higgins was feeling really good. Finally the attention was focused on the stage where the twins were.
"Hello this I am One and this is my brother Two."
"And we will be your hosts this evening for Club Hel kareoke." Two finished.
"Well brother, we have our first singers this evening. Can Morpheous and Niobe come on up to the stage?" One announced.
A few seconds later Morpheous and Niobe stepped onto the stage and took the mics from the albino hosts. The music began to play and Niobe began to do a very poor impersonation of Cher. And then the audience had to endure Morpheous doing his horrendous rendition of Sonny.
"Oh my God! I'm truly in hell." Agent Higgins said to herself.
"It's not that bad." Persephone said.
"I can sing so much better than those humans can!"
"Oh really?" Persephone looked at her fellow program. "Then do it girl!"
"Fine I will." She said as she snatched a songbook next to her.
She leafed through the pages and a song that felt appropriate leaped at her. She filled out the slip, walked up to One and handed it to him. She walked back over to the bar and sat back down next to Persephone.
"So what are you going to do?" She asked.
"You'll see." The lady Agent said with a smirk.
They sat at the bar and continued to drink, listen to a few singers and then finally it was her turn.
"And now we have coming to the stage Agent Higgins." Two announced.
She made her way up to the stage and stepped behind the mic. She began to speak.
"I want to say a few words before I sing. Morpheous and Niobe, what a cute couple you two are. Hey girl he stuck around, so you gotta be pretty psyhced right?" She was now drunk off her ass.
"Hey lady! Shut the fuck up and sing!" Said an obnoxious male voice from the back of the room.
"Well, I have the microphone and you don't." And then she raised her voice. "And you will listen to every fucking word I say!" She shouted.
Finally she regained her composure and walked into the audience and started to speak again.
"You know, it's funny. Some of us, human and machine, will never ever find true love. Like say for instance, myself."
She walked into among the crowd
"Like I'm pretty sure this dude right here." Referring to The Trainman. "And the fat chick with the sideburns." who was sitting next to him.
And then she extended her arm to a table of very unattractive Star Wars geeks who looked like they hadn't showered in months. "And basically everyone at the table over there." She said.
The geeks nodded in agreement. She continued her speech.
"But the worst thing is that me, Trainman, the fat chick and Star Wars geeks will never find a way to better the situation because apparently we have absolutely nothing to offer anyone or machine."
"You suck!" Said an angry female voice from the back of the room.
She looked towards the direction of the voice to see a short fat woman with dirty blonde hair glowering at her. She pulled out her Dessert Eagle handgun and brandished it. She spoke to the woman.
"Miss, one more outburst, I will shove my Desert Eagle up your fat ass. You understand me?"
There was a short pause and then Agent Higgins spoke again.
"Now let's get to the damned song. So with that here's a little mood music for ya." The song Love Stinks started to play over the speakers.
"Morpheous and Niobe are a happy couple. Whoopdie fucking doo!" And then she began to sing.
"He loves her, but she loves this guy right there. And he loves somebody else, you just can't win! And so it goes 'til the day you die. This thing they call love, is gonna make you cry."
She then walked over to Morpheous and Niobe as she continued singing.
"I hate you!" She said into the mic.
At the bar Persephone looked on in horror as her sister program was acting drunk and making a complete ass of herself. Maybe giving her tequila was a bad idea after all. She watched Agent Higgins continued to sing.
"I've had the blues, the red and the pinks. One thing's for sure." It was then she put the mic in The Trainman's face.
"Love stinks?" He said.
"Love stinks! Yeah! Yeah!" She sang out loud.
Everyone in the club started booing and before long punches were being thrown. Bodies were flying everywhere as well as bullets. To Agent Higgins it was all a blur. The very next morning, she awoke in The Oracle's apartment. She was not feeling too well.