Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the story this is excepted from, or what it's based on. ALSO I have explicit permission from Biggoron to post this excerpt.
This is an excerpt from Chapter 50 of A World Embroiled in Chaos by Biggoron.
In Chapter 50... Alyssa, Kyle, Tamrin, and Badge stop at a tavern and talk about their current situation. They are then joined by Kevin; they find out that Kevin allied himself with Kirth to gain information.Then they find out it really is a small world, as Tyler, Serea, Yirek, and Megan walk through the door...
Everyone stood quiet for a moment. "Hey, since we have nothing else to do tonight, can we all just get drunk and have a party?" Kevin asked. "Don't see why not." Kyle replied. Everyone shrugged.
"Sure."
"Fine with me.
"Ok."
"Sounds like a plan."
"OH YEAH!"
Everyone turned around, and saw the cool aid man. He just burst through the wall. "Oh no, Mr. Kool-aid man, you're paying for that wall." The bartender said. "OH NO!" The kool-aid man yelled, running away. The bartender grumbled something to himself. Suddenly, he looked up with a start when a huge sack of coins hit the counter. "I trust that this will be more than enough to pay for everyone getting unlimited beer refills for the night, and pay to get that wall fixed." Kyle stated. The bartender smiled. "How much is in there?" He asked. "Fifty million coins." Kyle replied. "Yes, sir! Unlimited beers coming up!" The bar tender said.
A couple beers later, almost everyone was getting a little tipsy.
"Karaoke time!" Kevin shouted, jumping up on the bar stand. Everyone turned to watch. "Hey bartender hit the music!"
The song started with a fiddle, then Kevin came in, "The devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind: he was willin' to make a deal.
When he came across this young man sawin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot.
And the devil jumped upon a hickory stump and said: "Boy let me tell you what:
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
"Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the devil his due:
"I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, 'cos I think I'm better than you."
The boy said: "My name's Johnny and it might be a sin,
"But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret, 'cos I'm the best that's ever been."
Johnny you rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard.
'Cos hells broke loose in Georgia and the devil deals it hard.
And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold.
But if you lose, the devil gets your soul."
The music faded with more fiddling, and everyone applauded. Kevin jumped off the counter, and grabbed another beer
"My turn!" Tyler shouted. A lot of people groaned, as he got up onto the counter.
"Always look on the bright side of life." Then he whistled.
"Always look on the right side of life," More whistling."For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.
So...Always look on the bright side of death," Whistle.
"Just before you draw your terminal breath." Whistle.
"Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And...Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life." The music faded out with more whistling, and there were sparse claps throughout the group.
Tyler got down, and the doors flew open. "Yar! It's my turn!"
Everyone just stared as Pelland walked over to the bar, and attempted to get on top of it. It took him a good 5 minutes just to get halfway up. When he finally got up, he started singing, "Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads
A whale of a tale or two
'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
On nights like this with the moon above"
Some people laughed and some scoffed at this.
"A whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo
There was Mermaid Minnie, met her down in Madagaskar
She would kiss me, any time that I would ask her
Then one evening her flame of love blew out
Blow me down and pick me up!
She swapped me for a trout"
Everyone just stared as Pelland fell down off of the counter, and hobbled out the door singing, "I get knocked down, but I get up again; you're never going to keep me down..."
"I get knocked down, but I get up again; you're never going to keep me down." Yirek sang from on the counter. Then Badge got up and sung, "Pissing the night away, Pissing the night away."
Then they alternated parts, "He drinks a whisky drink."
"He drinks a vodka drink."
"He drinks a lager drink."
"He drinks a cider drink."
"He sings the songs that remind him of the good times."
"He sings the songs that remind him of the better times."
"Don't cry for me"
"Next door neighbor..."
Everyone cheered as they got down, but suddenly stopped as all the lights went out; lightning crashed outside, and a single light went on. Kirth was standing on the counter with a microphone in his hand, and just like with Pelland everyone just stared.
"I'm the fly in your soup,
I'm the pebble in your shoe," Then he started to pace back and forth; the light followed him.
"I'm the pea beneath your bed,
I'm a bump on every head,
I'm the peel on which you slip,
I'm a pin in every hip,
I'm the thorn in your side,
Makes you wriggle and writhe.
And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need."
While he continued singing, with raised eyebrows, everyone looked questioningly at each other.
"It gets so lonely being evil,
What I'd do to see a smile,
Even for a little while,
And no one loves you when you're evil.
I'm lying though my teeth!
Your tears are all the company I need!" He finished singing, and then vanished; the lights flickered back on.
Everyone sat quietly for a few moments, then shrugged it off.
"Okay, time for the finale!" Alyssa said. "Come on everyone, up on the counter...except for Kyle."
He looked disappointed, as he sat back down, "Why not me?"
"Because, silly this song is for you." She replied, drunkenly.
They all stood on the bar stand, supporting each other, and then the music started.
"You are special, you're the only one
You're the only one like you.
There isn't another in the whole wide world
Who can do the things you do.
Oh you are special, special, everyone is special,
everyone in his or her own way."
Kyle's jaw dropped, "Are they fucking serious?"
"You're important, Oh you really are
You're the only one of you,
The world is better just because you're here,
You should know that we love you!"
"AAH! I can't take it!" Kyle said, as he searched for something to make it stop.
"Oh you are special, special, everyone is special,
everyone in his or her own way.
Oh you are special, special, everyone is special,
everyone in his or her own way."
"I don't care if they're drunk or not, make it STOP!" He tried blocking his ears.
And as if on cue, they all stopped singing. "FINALLY!"
…Probably Three hours or more later…
Kyle sighed. He drank the ninetieth beer of the night, yet he was still not drunk. Not in the least… just his usual blasé self. Alyssa passed out next to him, Tyler and Megan went in the woods to hunt down the kool-aid man (Obviously they were drunk), Serea and Tamrin were sword fighting with broken beer bottles. Badge and Yirek were singing, drunk, and loudly… while Kevin was in the corner, laughing hysterically for no apparent reason. "What an amusing bunch." The bartender muttered. "Yeah… definitely." Kyle replied.
(Heh heh, and go figure the idea for this spoofish excerpt started with that last song.)
Additional Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to the songs either…
List of songs (in appearance):
-Kevin/Devil Went Down to Georgia Charlie Daniels Band
-Tyler/Always Look on the Bright Side of Life Monty Python and the Life of Brian
-Pelland/Whale of a Tale Disney's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
-Pelland, Yirek, Badge/I Get Knocked Down Chumbawamba
-Kirth/When You're Evil Voltaire
-Everyone/Everyone Is Special Barney and Friends