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XII: SWEET HOME CHICAGO

Two months, two weeks and six days ago

Abarai Renji had been quite happy when his turn to go back and report to the other captains had come around.

True, the reporting part wasn't exactly a piece of cake, but he'd do practically anything to skip those useless lessons and have one peaceful day without fighting with the Evil Midget From Hell.

That didn't prevent him from thinking about her – although he didn't even realize it. Mostly because his thoughts ran along the line of 'It's 11.30 – Tatsuki's sitting through her Geography class – which she loathes – while I'm here at home.' Insert smirk and little evil chuckle. 'Isn't life great?'

After he reported to the captains, answered all the questions and signed several papers, Renji found himself with a lot of spare time and no way to occupy it – which led to the decision to drop by his Division Headquarter.

"Missing paperwork already, Renji?" Captain Kuchiki said when his currently-on-a-mission Vice-captain walked – unannounced, of course – through the door of his office.

"Naaa, I'm only here to see how the Division is coping without me." he replied cheekily, slouching in a chair. "And to make sure that Mizoguchi doesn't steal my Chair, of course."

"Right now, he's too busy doing your paperwork." replied the black-haired man. "How is the team doing?"

Renji shrugged. "Fine, as you heard during the report. Earth is not so bad – except for one thing…" he added, frowning as he went to retrieve his cup.

Kuchiki Byakuya raised an eyebrow infinitesimally as he closed a scroll and selected another from his own pile of paperwork. "Care to elaborate?"

Renji shrugged as he poured himself some tea from the Captain's kettle. "It's nothing important, but…"

The next twenty minutes found Renji complaining loudly about the humans he had to work with. An attentive listener, however, would have discovered that most of the time had been occupied by remonstrations on a certain short-tempered, antagonistic, stubborn, loud, annoying and overall insufferable black-haired witch.

"…that midget is absolutely impossible!" Renji concluded, rolling his eyes dramatically. Then, he reached out and poured himself his fifth cup of tea.

Kuchiki Byakuya waited until he had drunk halfway through it before voicing his comment.

"So, when are you going to ask her out?"

Renji choked on his tea and started coughing, desperately trying not to strangle himself with the hot beverage. Or spit it out and shower his Captain in the process – which would lead to his own death anyway, but much more slowly and painfully.

"Next time you try to kill me," he finally wheezed. "Please, feel free to use your Ban Kai, Kuchiki-taichou." he put his cup down. "Well, I must be going anyway. See ya, Taichou."

"Good afternoon, Renji"

As the door slammed shut, Kuchiki Byakuya heard his Vice-Captain mutter to himself, "Ask Tatsuki out – never in my life! She'd punch me anyway…"

Kuchiki Byakuya smirked to himself as he signed yet another report. "Looks like Renji found his match…"

He picked another scroll, but didn't open it yet. Even considering Renji's tendency to exaggeration, the girl must have been quite a fiery type.

A shudder ran down the nobleman's spine – he had just imagined how their children could turn out…

'Fortunately, such a thing will never happen.' He thought as he picked his brush and went back to work.

Looking back many years later, Kuchiki Byakuya would reckon that his family was not gifted with the ability to predict the future. Not at all.

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