I'm sorry to say that next Sunday there won't the usual update since I'll be leaving for Greece on a 5-days school trip.

The good news is that at least this chapter is longer…

XIV: THE LONG DISTANCE

Author's note: as probably most readers know, there's a strong rivalry between karate fighters and judo fighters.

Two months, two weeks and three days ago

He should have known that something was amiss when Tatsuki arrived at school half an hour late. Then, after stuttering an apology, she had literally collapsed into her seat. For the rest of the lesson, she hadn't moved, simply staring straight ahead without seeing anything.

Renji should have kept quiet – but he didn't.

They argued every single day – why should it be any different?

His musings from the previous night had left him a bit insecure – he desperately needed to prove that nothing had changed from the very beginning. That it was just another day.

So he walked up to her – and lost a good occasion to keep his mouth shut.

She looked at him with empty eyes – as if he was a ghost, as if she had trouble seeing him.

Something snapped inside of him. Anger rose suddenly, like a tide, fogging his senses. He started taunting her, pricking her with words as sharp as needles.

Then, suddenly, she sprang up and slapped him and ran out of the classroom.

Renji blinked and stared after her, a sense of dread creeping over his soul.

Somebody tapped him on the shoulder – when he turned around, he was punched square in the face. This time by a fuming Ichigo.

"You idiot!" the orange-haired boy shouted "I should turn you upside down and stick your feet in that big mouth of yours!"

"What? Why?" Renji snarled. "You have no right to interfere! This is none of your business!"

"Tatsuki is a friend of mine and I won't stand for…"

"Enough, Ichigo." Orihime said quietly, laying a hand on his arm. "Let him go, it's not his fault – he couldn't possibly imagine that…"

In spite of the situation, twin shadows of jealousy flashed in Ishida and Rukia's eyes.

"Yes, he could! It's written all over Tatsuki's face that something isn't right!" he yelled, ready to punch him again.

"This won't help Tatsuki." Rukia spoke up.

Ichigo lowered his arm and let go of the red-headed Shingami.

Ishida adjusted his glasses. "What happened to Arisawa-san? She doesn't behave like this, usually."

Ichigo and Orihime exchanged a sad look, wordlessly debating if it would be right for them to tell.

Rukia folded her arms and glanced pointedly at the taller boy.

He sighed. "Fine. Yesterday, Tatsuki's cousin died. he took a deep breath. "Apparently, he killed himself."

Chad bowed his head, while Rukia gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. Even Ishida looked somewhat shocked.

Orihime started toying with a lock of hair nervously, twisting and twirling it around her fingers. "Please, forgive her. Tatsuki-chan was deeply affected by this news – they were very close."

Renji's eyes were fixed on the floor, his shoulders hunched. His stomach clenched in shame. He had never felt so mortified in his whole life.

"Is there anything we can do to help her?" Rukia asked.

In another time and place, with other people involved, Renji might have laughed at the irony of the whole situation.

Orihime shook her head. "No. Please, don't say anything to her. She doesn't… she's not very…"

Ishida raised a hand solemnly, coming to her rescue. "Don't worry. We know what she's like."

"You weren't supposed to know anyway." Ichigo shrugged. "It wasn't our place to tell."

An awkward silence followed – all of them looking everywhere but at each other.

"Well…" Orihime said hesitantly. "I'll go after her now…"

The two friends came back a few minutes after the teacher's arrival.

"You must have a good reason to arrive so late…" the teacher said, looking expectantly at Tatsuki.

Orihime stepped in front of her friend. "I wasn't feeling well and Tatsuki-chan walked me to the bathroom."

The teacher raised an eyebrow. "All right, then. Take your seat."

Renji watched Tatsuki through lowered eyelids. 'She looks like a broken puppet…'

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The cold wind blew in the empty courtyard. Last period had ended quite some time before and now all the students where busy with their various clubs.

Renji shouldn't have been there.

He usually spent his afternoons training – but this time he couldn't bring himself to leave.

Her spiritual pressure was wavering uncontrollably. 'It's like a sign reading 'Restaurant for Hollows – come in and have a bite' !' he mentally snorted. 'This is the only reason why I'm staying…'

After a while, however, he sighed and left the roof. "It will be much easier if I stay closer."

Renji walked down the stairs apparently unhurriedly – but he kept a metaphorical eye on Tatsuki's aura.

'Now, where could I stay…' Renji thought as he looked around the gym. Suddenly, he raised his head. His ears had caught for a second a low, muffled sound among the loud shouts coming from the building – and he could feel Tatsuki's quivering spirit nearby.

Frowning, the red-head silently walked around the gym, going for the other side. He was totally unprepared to the sight that greeted him.

Arisawa Tatsuki was sitting down on the pavement, clutching a tattered piece of paper. Tears streamed down her cheek, falling on her blouse. She hadn't even changed into her karate gi.

Renji stared at her for a minute of two, then, he slowly walked up to her and quietly sat down by her side, laying a hand on her shoulder.

"Go…away…" the human girl choked between her sobs, but didn't recoil from his touch.

Renji didn't speak – he only squeezed her shoulder a bit.

After a while, he cautiously wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She stiffened.

"Don't worry." he whispered. "I won't tell."

Tatsuki let out a low sob. She was vaguely aware that she shouldn't have accepted the comfort he was offering – but she felt too numb to know why or actually care.

Renji let her cry without a word.

Long minutes went by.

Tatsuki started to calm down – although she probably hadn't noticed. Renji did.

He peeked at the paper she still gripped in her hand: it was a picture of two young children, both with black eyes and black hair. There was a faint resemblance between the two of them: no one could think them siblings, but it was clear that they were related.

"You and your cousin?" he asked.

Tatsuki nodded, her knuckles turning white as she doubled her grip on that fragment of a happy time that would never come back.

"What was his name?"

The girl blinked a couple of times, then answered. "Ra-Raito."

"Oh."

Silence again, for a couple of minutes.

"He surely was a special boy…"

Tatsuki straightened her back, breaking away from him. If Renji was making fun of her cousin, God help him, Shinigami or not. "What do you mean?"

Renji looked away. "I was only saying that the two of you must have been really close if his death affects you so."

"Of course it does!" Tatsuki replied, indignantly. "But I don't expect you to understand…"

Renji sighed and rubbed his forehead. 'Will I ever be able to say something without being misunderstood?'

He promptly ignored the little voice in his head telling him that it was his fault, after all.

"Sorry."

The red-head blinked. "What?"

"I shouldn't have said that…" she murmured, staring at the ground. "You know, with Rukia's attempted execution and everything…"

"Don't worry, no offence taken. I understand that you aren't at your best right now."

"It doesn't mean that I've gone crazy and cannot be considered responsible for my words!" she glared – or, at least, tried to. "I shouldn't have said that…" she added, more quietly.

Renji sighed again and peeked at the photograph. "Was he older than you?"

Tatsuki nodded. "Yes, by three years."

"I bet he always protected you when you were children…"

Tatsuki laughed – or, at least, emitted a sound that vaguely resembled her laugh. "No, he always hit me when we were children. Raito was jealous since he was the only child in the whole family before I was born. The spoiled brat didn't like competition." she looked fondly at the picture. "But he did stick to principles like she-is-my-cousin-so-I-am-the-only-one-allowed-to-beat-her."

"So that's why you took up karate?

"No, although Raito is partially to blame. After all, he forced me to watch my first Bruce Lee movie ever. After that…" she shrugged her shoulders, a small smile playing on her lips. "…well, things went downhill. I was four, while Raito was seven." she knitted her eyebrows. "If it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't have met you all…"

Renji coughed, embarrassed. "Uh…what makes you say that?"

"I first met Ichigo at the dojo. And later, I wouldn't have been able to protect Orihime. So, in the end, it was all thanks to him…" Tears welled up in her eyes again.

"Who knows, maybe you'd get tired of him hitting you…" Renji replied, shrugging his shoulders. "How bad did he take it when you started knocking him down?"

Tatsuki smiled again, lost in memories. "Oh, you have no idea! Raito'd throw such tantrums…

"How did it end? Did he took up karate as well?"

"Judo." she said as she made a face. "But he never managed to beat me again." she looked thoughtful. "Raito isn't really interested in martial arts, anyway. He gave it up after he finished high school. However…"

"However?"

"Raito always comes to see my competitions, no matter how unimportant." Tatsuki whispered, smiling a bit. "He only skipped a handful – and always because he couldn't do otherwise. He always says that it's good to see me knock down somebody else, for a change." Tatsuki blinked. "Sometimes I wonder if we're really cousins – I mean, his parents are kinda snob. They always criticize everything I do. They were really scandalized when I took up karate – but Raito has always supported me. He says – said that it was good for a girl to know how to defend herself."

Renji nodded. "Well, I can assure you that you did make him proud."

Tatsuki's eyes dimmed. "I can only hope so." She lowered her head and her shoulders began to shake.

Renji swallowed hard, worried. "T… Arisawa?"

"How could it happen, Renji?" she whispered, her voice like shards of glass. "Why did he do it? He had no reason to do it!" she blinked rapidly, trying to erase her tears, but they slowly fell on her cheeks nonetheless. "His parents are a pain, but they love him. We all do! Raito was… I thought he was happy! He never told me otherwise – if there had been something wrong, Raito would have told, wouldn't he?"

"I'm sure he would…" Renji murmured, laying a hand on her shoulder.

The black-haired took an unsteady breath. "Renji… could it be that I missed something? That I was too blind to see…?"

"See what?"

"I don't know!" she cried, frustrated. But there had to be something – something deep. Raito wouldn't have killed himself without a reason – without an explanation." she blinked. "Raito would have never committed suicide." Tatsuki repeated slowly, almost talking to herself.

Then, it was only silence.

"Tatsuki?" Renji called her softly after a while, but she didn't answer. She kept on staring straight ahead, deep in thought.

"Tatsuki?"

Slowly, the human girl turned to him – her eyebrows knitted and her eyes lit by a calculating light that sent shivers down Renji's spine. He also heard a voice whispering to him that he'd better run for his life.

"You are a Shinigami."

Too late.

His hand automatically flew to cover her mouth.

"Say that louder, will ya!" he said as he looked around frantically – without realizing that he was practically shouting. "Why don't we go and write it on every wall?"

Tatsuki pushed his hand away, but didn't avert her gaze.

Renji was starting to sweat – metaphorically, since gigais couldn't sweat – beneath that intense scrutiny. "So what?"

"Can Shinigamis sense if – if a person was attacked by a Hollow?"

Renji frowned. "Of course we can! Why, have you seen something suspicious?"

Tatsuki didn't reply, turning her gaze on the empty yard. "Can you sense it even if the person was… killed?"

Renji immediately realized what she meant. "If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, forget it! I'm not…"

"So you can!"

"Yes, we can, but I'm not doing it!"

"You don't even know what…"

"Oh, I know what you want. And my answer is no!"

"Why?"

Renji blinked, silently staring at her.

"Give me a good reason and I won't ask it again!" she insisted.

'I don't want to hurt you – in any way…'

"It's against the rules!"

"I don't believe you!" Tatsuki shouted. "And since when do you care?"

"Since now!" he stood up and made to walk away, but, in a second, Tatsuki jumped to her feet and grabbed him by the arm.

The red-head still had his back turned on her – but he couldn't do anything to block out her voice.

"Please, Renji… I have nobody else to ask to." Such a sad, defeated voice. "Please…"

A voice that definitely didn't suit her.

The Shinigami turned back. He found her gaze and held it. "What do you want me to do?"

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A boy and a girl walked in the moonlit street – their feet made no sound and their bodies cast no shadow. The boy carried a sword; the girl was surrounded by a flame-like aura.

Suddenly, the girl stopped in front of a low building, staring wordlessly.

"Is it here?" the boy asked, stealing a worried glance at his companion.

The girl nodded.

He gently took her by the hand. "Come." he whispered, tugging her onward.

Ignoring both door and windows, they stopped in front of a wall – and stepped through it.

Three coffins were ready in the dark room.

"Which one?" the boy asked again softly.

The girl glanced into the first, then moved toward the second and stopped.

"It's him." she murmured. "It's Raito."

The boy gently took her by the arm and pushed her back. "Wait here. I'll have a look."

As he bent on the lifeless body of a boy he had never known, he could feel her eyes on his back. Silently, the Shinigami cursed the dead, then he lowered his head and started his investigation.

Long minutes passed by.

The girl in the back moved nervously. "Well?"

Renji didn't answer, still staring at the boy in the coffin.

'Which answer will hurt her the most?' he thought. 'What should I say?'

"Let's go." he said as he turned back.

They stepped through the wall again and walked away without turning back.

When the funeral home was about two blocks behind, Tatsuki stopped, staring at the read-headed Shinigami with unreadable eyes.

Renji turned and walked up to her, laying a hand on her arm. Although they both were only spirits, she felt his warmth through her shirt.

"I'm sorry, Tatsuki…" he forced himself to look at her. "It was a suicide."

Few words that changed everything.

Something broke. Something toughened. Something else, on the other hand, simply melted and dissolved.

Renji didn't say anything else as he walked her home – although he was really glad she hadn't questioned his conclusion. Or asked for details.

It didn't matter anyway. He knew he had said the right thing.

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