Notions

By Christine Lennoire

V. Notions on Lies

Demyx stared at the wall in front of him in a dazed sort of fashion. In all his days living here, in The Castle That Never Was, he had never experienced anything like he just had. Xemnas had told them that they were heartless and that the only form of 'feelings' that they could posses, weren't even really feelings, but merely the memories they had of them – once upon a time.

It was always – You are heartless. You don't have feelings. Well, Demyx wanted to throw him from the highest tower some days. He was tired of hearing it. Even if it was true, how could someone say it so freely? Did Xemnas forget that he was talking about himself as well? Or did he just forget what it felt like to care or feel hurt? Because Demyx knew he felt hurt every time he heard Xemnas say those things.

But right now, Demyx didn't feel like throwing Xemnas from the highest tower... no, he wanted very badly to do something else – to be rash and daring... and to just push every button that he knew Xemnas had. He wanted to do something that would make him feel better, and at the same time, show Xemnas a thing or two...

What he wanted... was to run up to him, tap him on the shoulder... and scream "LIAR!" right in his face. Demyx was sure that he would feel better after that, if he only could. He smiled at the thought of Xemnas' face after he screamed said word in his ear. Would he be angry? No... Xemnas didn't believe in that. He'd probably just beat the hell out of Demyx...

But if he did... it was only to hide the fact that he wasn't ready to see the error of his ways. Demyx wanted him to fight back... but most importantly, he would wait forever just to hear Xemnas say that he was wrong. Sure, Demyx was already aware of the fact that he was right and Xemnas was wrong, but... it would just be so sweet to have the Superior have to tell everyone the truth. Demyx wanted to hear the words.

If he didn't... could things just go on like this? Had he just lived a lie by initiating the most wonderful thing he had ever experienced in his life. Was it all a lie? He would not accept that. The sleeping nobody next to him seemed to stir, as if he could read his mind. Demyx laughed silently to himself and laid his head back down. No – but if anyone could ever do such a thing, he believed it would be Zexy...

All the lies fell away the moment he decided to look past... and as Zexion slept, he sat there with a pen and some paper – writing down his new notions... just because Zexion had let himself be kissed by the blonde wouldn't change anything. He liked data and proof and he liked it in writing. So Demyx complied, writing down every notion that went through his mind since the kiss...

'Won't Zexy be proud of me...?' he grinned to himself, laughing... and then looking back to the notions written down on paper... 'What does it mean...?'

Christine Lennoire