To:pipeweed_addict@theshireplace.com
From:mushrooms_forever@theshireplace.com
Merry, isn't Frodo the dumbest ever? First, he gets so drunk that he can't even tell a rock from a pillow. Then, he gets himself stabbed in the shoulder. I think he did it on purpose just so he could get carried the rest of the way by Aragorn. Stupid free-loader.
Pippin
To:smelly_manly_ranger@whitecity.net
From:garden_grower@theshireplace.com
Look, Strider. I'm generally not one to complain, but do we really have to walk through the grimiest, stinkiest, muddiest path to Rivendell? I've got so many bug bites that I could play connect the dots. Besides, Mr. Frodo needs proper medical attention for his wound, not ranger spit healing cream.
Sam
To:smelly_manly_ranger@whitecity.net
From:mushrooms_forever@theshireplace.com
Come on, Strider! Do you honestly think that we can survive on only one apple for second breakfast? My healthy eating habits are now all off because you took away my elevensies and afternoon tea. Three meals a day... Psh! Who ever heard of such nonsense?
Pippin
PS: May I talk to you tomorrow night? I found a great article on personal hygiene that I want you to see.
To:grumpy_grey_geezer@istari.net
From:smelly_manly_ranger@whitecity.net
You old fart! How could you play such a dirty trick on me? "Meet my friends at Bree... I'm delayed..." Delayed my butt! You just wanted to get out of having to travel with them. These hobbits are so freaking annoying! All they do is complain all day long. "I'm still hungry! I'm too tired! You're so smelly!" I swear I'll get you back for this, wizard!
Aragorn