XXIII: CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

Four days ago

Tatsuki loved to fight.

Always had and always would – even though long years of practicing karate had put a hold on her old attitude, she still liked it a lot.

Tatsuki loved the rush of adrenaline, the energy, the oxygen filling her lungs, her heart thumping loudly.

She wasn't stupid, nor irresponsible. She had joined a greater battle, she knew there was more than her pride at stake.

Tatsuki had discovered the darker side of fighting – the constant, gripping fear. Fear of not being strong enough, not being fast enough, not being smart enough – not being able to protect those you love.

Tatsuki had known helplessness – and she didn't like it.

She knew she was far behind all the others, that her training had just began.

Still, Tatsuki wouldn't allow them to push her back, to fight her battles in her stead.

She just didn't hold with that kind of things.

She had quarreled with Renji a lot about this – and not all those "exchange of opinions" ended peacefully. Tatsuki knew that the red-headed Shinigami was very similar to her in that, but he refused to see it and recognize it. It really drove her up the wall.

Tatsuki was a tomboy, but she wasn't stupid, nor blind. She knew that it was his twisted way to say he cared.

Still, she wouldn't stand for it. She just couldn't do it.

Every time they marched into battle, she was more than scared – she was terrified. But she wouldn't let that stop her.

And, deep down, a part of her was glad. For, when she fought, Tatsuki could finally stop feeling useless.
When she fought, Tatsuki felt she had some sort of control on her and her friends' lives. She wasn't a tool in the hands of a blind Fate anymore.

She discovered, but not without shock, that the battlefield was indeed her natural place. Out there she could – and definitely would – make a difference.

She'd never admit it, but she also liked fighting side by side with Renji.

She had always been independent and self-reliant – and damn proud of it too – but around him she felt safe. She knew she could always count on him.

And then, when they fought alongside, she was too busy insulting him back or proving her worth to think about her fears and be scared.

That night, of course, was no exception.

Tatsuki studied the situation. "Do you think we can make it on our own?"

Renji smirked. "It depends, honey"

She frowned. "Depends on what?"

"If you can keep up with me or not!" he yelled over his shoulder as he rushed out.

Half a second later, she pressed her back against his own. "There's no way you could ever leave me behind, Abarai."

Renji didn't need to see her to know she was smirking. He grinned back, even though she couldn't see him.

But she knew – just like he had known.

Author's rant – er, note: I can't believe this fiction is about to end. Next chapter will be the last… it just fully hit me and it's making me a bit sad.

Oh, well – I guess I'll have to work hard on the sequel(s). It's proving more difficult than this story – chapter 18 excluded, of course – but I'll try me best. I can't say when I'll publish it, nor I can promise regular updates as for this one. But I'll work hard and write them! A big thank you goes, of course, to all the people who reviewed and keep me motivated.

As usual…

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