Hi--I'm sorry for making you all wait a little longer than usual for this post. I had it basically ready to go but have been so crazy this week, I haven't had a moment to sit down and review it. So here it is, finally!
I have to say, in honor of the last episode of this IS season airing tomorrow, that I'm actually very sad to see it go. It's been a great couple of months with new episodes...I do, however, hope to be inspired enough by the finale to write more fanfics until it returns! Last week's episode was AMAZING and quite possibly inspiring enough to last me another year if necessary, but I'm hoping for more...a little more Tommy/Jude cuteness is all I'm asking for! And not too much heartbreak :-)
Thanks again for all of your great feedback. I love some of your comments about wanting to know what Tommy said...don't worry, we're getting very close! So I hope you enjoy (as much as I've enjoyed watching this season!).
Tommy stood in the doorway to her hospital room, hearing the door close behind him but not moving. He held the vase of daisies close to him and looked into Jude's tired eyes across the room. She nervously sat up straight, unconsciously running her fingers through her hair to make herself look more presentable.
"Hey," he said quietly.
"Hi," she returned. She could hear the jumpiness in her own voice, clearing her throat to relax. "Do you want to come in?"
"Sure," he said, slowly walking towards her. As he approached, he looked closer at her. He saw her pale and drawn complexion, but through the weariness, he saw the spark that was still in her eyes. He grinned as he got to her side, happy to see a sign of life greeting him.
"What?" she asked, seeing a smile break out from his lips.
He paused for a moment, seeing her small smile appear from his reaction. "Nothing. It's just really good to see you."
"Thanks. It's good to see you too," she said softly, blushing. "You'll have to excuse the drab attire. I know it's not my usual rock chick look." They both looked at her green hospital gown.
"Green is your color," he commented.
"I suppose, but this isn't really green…it's more like putrid…"
"Or a giant avocado."
"I like avocados," she said with a wider smile.
He smiled too and then looked at the vase of flowers still in his hand. "Oh, sorry, these are for you." He gently placed them on the table next to her bed and pulled out one to hand to her.
She took the single daisy and said, "Thanks. I love daisies."
"I know," he said. "I vaguely remembered you saying that daisies are your favorites."
"They are," she agreed.
"Well, I figured you could use some cheerfulness in this room," he said, glancing around.
"Thanks," she repeated softly, smiling up at him.
"How are you doing?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Okay, I guess," she responded. "Tired. But the doctor says it'll take some time until I feel 100 percent again."
He nodded, listening. "Do they have you taking anything?"
"Some iron pills for the anemia. And some Tylenol for my headache from falling and hitting my head, which apparently was what knocked me out."
"Yeah, I heard. Does it still hurt?"
"A little. I have a bump actually," she said, reaching behind her head for the small lump. She leaned her head towards him so he could feel it too. He timidly brought his hand to her head, lightly feeling the bump. "Do you feel it?" she asked.
"Yeah, I do," he said, as she returned to her previous position and he brought his hand back to his lap. They sat there in silence, uncertain as to what to say to each other. He wanted to lean over and hug her tight enough to cut off her circulation but resisted the urge, worried about saying or doing the wrong thing. She looked at him, biting her lip and trying to come up with a good way to say what she wanted to.
"Tommy…" she started.
"I got your message," he said suddenly. "From last night—Sadie told me."
"Oh, good," she replied, hearing the nervousness come back to her voice. "I hope you didn't mind that I didn't tell you myself."
"No, I totally understood," he said quickly. "You didn't need to thank me."
"What do you mean? Yes, I did," she responded in genuine confusion.
"No, you didn't. I mean, I appreciate it, but it wasn't necessary."
"How can you say that?" she questioned. "Tommy, without you, I wouldn't be sitting here right now."
"Yeah, well, without me, you would've been healthy and wouldn't need to be here," he muttered, looking down.
"Tommy," she started, seeing his sheepish expression and scooting a little closer to him on the bed. "This wasn't your fault."
"How can you say that?" he asked with desperation, avoiding her gaze. "I was the cause of all of this. If I hadn't been so selfish, I wouldn't have pushed you away and hurt you. You would still be okay."
She looked at him disbelievingly. "Is that really what you think? That you were the single cause of all of this? Tommy, there was a lot more going on in my life than just you. Yes, you upset me. A lot. But so did my mom when she yelled at me every ten seconds about my grades. And so did EJ when she got mad at me for not going out around the city more with Josh. And so did Darius when he told me I hadn't created a hit single in over two months. I was a disappointment to everybody, including you."
He instantly looked up into her eyes and said, "You were never a disappointment to me. I was the disappointment to you."
"You hurt me, Tommy, but you only disappointed me when it sounded like you wanted to give up."
He gently took her hands in his, looked into her eyes and carefully said, "I never wanted to hurt you, Jude. And I never, ever wanted to give up. I thought that taking a break would make things easier, but it just made it all harder. I wanted to apologize for everything, to get you back, but I thought I would just upset you more and I couldn't handle that."
She nodded in understanding and thought for a moment. "I know you did what you thought was best, even if it hurt," she said slowly. "The truth is, you did have something to do with me being here, but it's more my own fault for not being able to handle everything."
"Are you kidding? You did handle it," he reminded her, holding her hands tighter. "The press, Kwest, Josh—Jude, you were more composed and in control of our situation than I was."
"Maybe," she said quietly. "But I let it all get to me. And not having you there made it worse. You were always there for me and then suddenly, you let go. I guess…I just missed you," she said, feeling the tears start to slowly glaze over her eyes. He looked into her tearful eyes and felt his own emotions start to surface.
"I missed you too," he said faintly. She saw his reaction and could hear the sincerity in his words. She instantly threw her arms around his neck, grasping for him. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and felt him immediately envelop her in his arms. He embraced her eagerly and felt her small frame through the thin hospital gown. He brought one hand against the back of her neck, keeping her as close as possible. He could hear her sniffling against his shoulder, her tears running into his shirt.
After a minute or two, she pulled back to rest her head against his, tears still rolling down her cheeks. She could hear him sniffling quietly too, as he started delicately rubbing her cheeks, trying to wipe away her tears.
"I love you, Jude," he said softly. "And I'm so sorry for everything I put you through."
"It's okay," she whispered. "I love you too." She felt him bring her face to his to delicately kiss her. She draped her arms around him, keeping her lips steadily on his. They didn't care at that moment if all the paparazzi in the world walked into that hospital room—they were completely absorbed in each other, longing to feel their connection again.
"I've never been that scared in my life, seeing you like that in the dressing room," he muttered quietly, breaking the kiss and pulling back a bit. "I went into panic mode."
"Well, whatever you did, it worked," she replied, pulling back further and looking up into his eyes.
"Do you remember any of it?" he asked curiously.
"Honestly," she said, "I remember hearing your voice and feeling you touching me, but the words seemed to blend together."
She watched as he nodded understandingly, so she added, "So…what exactly did you say to me?"
I really am sorry to leave you hanging there, but we haven't had a good cliffhanger in awhile :-)