Penhall and Fuller stood in the dcotors office, it really was remarkable sometimes how much they resembled eachother, not in their looks, but in their stance, their expressions and their mannerisms. Both men curently had their arms down at their sides winth their hands in their pockets, and their heads tilted back just enough to be intimidating if they wanted to be.
"I wanted to discuss further with you the details of your friends condition." The Doctor sat behind his large wooden desk nodding at the two chairs opposite him, "Please have a seat."
Fuller was the first to sit, "Thank you doctor." He took a seat leaning back into it and crossing his legs. Penhall quick to follow suit and do the same.
"Seeing as how you are both officers with the police department, I am going to guess that you both know alittle bit about what is going on already, as far as the impact of the bullet... the spinal injury, and those aspects of the "accident" correct ?"
"Yes sir, Officer Penhall and myself are fully aware of the circumstances..."
"What we are here to discuss is the emotional changes that he is going to go through, psychologically dealing with something like this can take it's toll not only on the body, but on the mind. Officer Hanson is going to spend a lot of time... especially in the adjustment period, being angry, he's going to lash out at those close to him, and at himself. He is going to say and do things that you could never imagine... In fact he is on suicide watch for at least the next 72 hours, So if you and your friends would like to take turns staying with him that would be for the best."
"Hanson would never try to kill himself." Penahll defended his best friend a stern look crossing his features as he sat up.
"Are you sure about that Douglas,..."
"He loves his life!"
"Even if everything inside of it has crumbled and it seems like there is nothing left of it! Will he love it then?" The doctor frowned leaning forward on the desk., "In Tom's eyes everything he's worked for, everything he has lived for it distroyed... ruined and his life is over, that is going to be a very over whelming feeling when it finally hits..."
"I just can't imagine-"
"Then don't, but don't dismiss the posibility of it either, Your going to need to be on your toes... He needs that from you, and I know that your strong enough to be there for him."
"Doc...Ummmm, I- How...How am I supposed to act around him?" Penhall's voice suddenly changed to a mere whisper as he let his eyes cast downward feeling ashamed for even asking such a question.
"Well how do you usually act around him Douglas?"
"He's my best friend, we do everything together,..."
"And none of that is going to change just because he's in a wheelchair, you have to treat him just as you always have... now there are just limitations..."
"I just, now you know... he's in the bed and everything seems, well it seems like it's going to be fine... Even though I know that it's not? Ya know?... Amd I just, I know that this is stupid but... What if I can't look at him? I mean he's Tom Hanson, he's the best cop that I know... and now his life is over, and I just don't know if I can look at him in one of those wheel-..." He swolloed hard and cleared his throat. "Things."
Fuller frowned putting his hand on the young mans back, he himself taking this time to obsorb everything being told to them.
"It's hard, there is no denying that, but you have to be strong, you cannot let your fears show... not yet, as time passes and things get easier... because they will. It might not seem like it now, but they will... Take some time and talk to him."
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Ioki was now sitting in the chair closest to Tom's bed Judy next to him, and Booker still sitting in the far corner of the room pretending not so convincingly to read a magazine, every now and then a fidget showing the others that he was still breathing. He had been reading this particular page for over thirty minutes, and the one before that for a good hour.
Tom was sleeping restlessly, his heart monitor keeping stedy rythm with his breathing, his hand clasped tight in Harry's, no one was exactly sure why, maybe it was the need to feel even in his state of sleep some sense of reality, maybe it was the need to have someone close, and maybe it was just to hold on to something, someone...
"Booker." Hoffs rose to her feet her eyes taking in the preoccupied man, "Booker." She repeated as she began to close in the distance between them.
"Hmmm?"
"Come on." She grabbed her purse fishing for her keys.
"I don't want to go anywhere." He finally looked up closing the magazine in his grasp.
"Well that's to bad, I'm taking you back to your place, where you can get a shower and put on some new clothes... Maybe take a bit of a rest?"
"I'm fine."
"You need to take those off." she pointed to the outfit he was still wearing, his white Ramones T-shirt spattered with red stains, his jeans covered in dirt from the asphault.
"Jude-"
"Now Dennis," Her voice was firm, "Youve seen that he's alright, you know that he's not going to be going anywhere, and it's time for you to take care of yourself."
"She's right man, he's still going to be here when you get back..." Harry whispered, he of course was not to up on the idea of being in the room alone, but he knew that Dennis needed out of here before he cracked anymore than Harry felt he already had.
"Your going to be alright alone with him right?" Hoffs asked eyeing Ioki.
"Of course, He's sleeping, and besides Blowfish said that he would be here wihin the hour so I don't have to wait that long..."
"Do youwant me to stop on my way back and maybe pick-up some burgers or something?"
"That would be great. I haven't even thought about eating..."
"I don't think any of us have, but were not going to be any good to Hanson if we let ourselves go..." she purposely looked at Booker when she said the last part of her statement.
Rising to his feet defeatedly he sighed and grabbed his jacket swinging it over his shoulders, "Alright, Alright we're going." He put a smoke between his lips taking a final glimpse at the figure in the hospital bed as he headed out the door.
"We'll be back in a few."
"Don't hurry on my account." Harry watched as they disappeared down the hallway.
Leaning back in the chair he closed his eyes folding his hands in his lap licking his lips trying to find some sort of way to get comfortable his eyes following the bright green light of the heart monitor up and down, up and down.
The others couldn't have been gone more than a few minutes when with a start Tom began to sweat, shifting his head from one side to the other his heart monitor speed racing just slightly enough to alarm Harry as he sat up and held tightly to the clammy hand in his own stroking it's top a little. "Hanson... Relax." He whispered using his other hand to take the wash cloth and whipe his forehead...
"NO!" He screamed drawing in a deep breath as his eyes flew open and shot around the room his nails digging heavily into Harry's flesh.
Ioki's eyes widened as he fought to losen Hanson's grip on him, still remaining calm... "Tom... Breath man, just breathe..."
"I-I" Tommy swollowed and fought to catch his breath, "I was..." He looked around a moment more before his eyes met Harry's. "I wasn't dreaming was I?"
"No man, I'm afraid not..." He placed the cool washcloth on Hanson's head.
"Harry?" Hanson brought his free hand up whiping at his lips and swollowing. "What- what am I gonna do now?" His big brown eyes looked so lost, so confused and so pain stricken...
"I don't know Hanson... I just I don't know..." The other man answered honestly his eyes purposely looking away out the window to keep himself from crying as he noticed only a few small tears working their way down Tom's face... A few small lonely emotion filled tears.
He drew in a breath and then let it out his chest rising and falling as he fought off the tears in his eyes. "I..." He smiled painfully at one of his best friends his lips shaking just slightly. "I'm scared..."
"We're gonna get through this together..." Ioki looked away from the window and down into his lap before looking back at Hanson. "Your not alone..."
"I don't want to have to get through this at all..." Tom laid his head back deeper into the pillow his eyes staring into the mirror which he could see directly from where he was laying. His stomach turned, vomit rose in his throat... looking at himself made him physically sick... what the hell had he become?
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Thank you all so so much for your comments, I never dreamed this story would be such a hit!