"Good morning all you lovely working class people out there, this is John Stevens with your Weather report, if your going to be driving the I-5 this A.M. Make sure to take the fast lane-" Hanson grunted and reached over with his arm flipping off the alarm as he yawned and began to let his eyes shut once more his covers wrapped tightly around himself.

These past 3 months and four days had flown by, but at the same time each one seemed to take longer than the next to be over with. That is how long it had been since his "accident." It wasn't an accident, and everyone knew that, but it was like if you called it that it made the pain easier... or so they thought, the truth was nothing made the pain easier... everything reminded him now that he was different than everyone else, everytime he was put in that... that thing, trapped in that metal cage with no way out... trapped inside this body that refused to do what he told it to... Trapped inside a head full of memories... Memories of what he was, memories of the day that stole his life from him... memories of everything.

It was these thoughts that forced him wide awake once again, just like they had every pervious day, now he would lay here in the silence of his own home nothing but dead air to keep him and his thoughts company. He would lay here and feel sorry for himself. Some mornings even a few tears would come to his eyes, some mornings he would get so angry that he would scream... it didn' matter though he was alone, for at least another fifteen minutes... He could feel think say and do what he wanted for the next 15 minutes his day was his.

However, on this morning his fear was more than his sadness and his anger had ever been, today was the day he was going to attempt to go back to some sort of life... some sort of normallcy and that thought alone tarified him. Not only because he was going to have to face everyone, in a surrounding that wasn't his... in a place where he had no control... But more so because going back,... Working again, meant that he accepted what had happened and he had accepted his fate... he didn't want to do that, he just wanted to lay here forever and wait to either die or miraculously heal.

He cleared his throat smoothing out his hair and whiping at his eyes taking a look around his room everything looked so bright and beautiful, everything filled with color and life... Everything accept him. With an exaggerated sigh he threw his hands down on the bed tilting his head back and breathign in a deep not so refreshing breath...

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Doug reached into his pocket and pulled out the spare house key that Tom had given him after the accident, balancing the box of doughnuts and coffee in one hand he unlocked the door before kicking it open and then stepping in pushing it closed behind him. Walking into the kitchen he set the food down and tossed his keys on the counter before sliding his jacket off and over a near by chair.

He hated this, he didn't tell Tom so much... but he hated having to do this, not that he minded helping him, he knew than Hanson would do the same for him if it ever came to be, but he hated seeing him so helpless having to do for him, and help him in the way you would an infant, it was just very unsettling. Shaking the thoughts from his head and inhaling he knocked lightly on the bedroom door now in front of him before opening it.

"You ready?" He forced a smile so wide that it made his eyes crinkle at the ends and his chin dimple, "Today is your big debut!"

Tom gave him a half cocked smile before letting his lips fall back to his numb blank expression, "Good morning Doug." he mumbled.

"Oh come on... gimmie a little more excitement than that." The larger man shook his head as he stood at the foot of the bed poping his knuckles before lifting up Tom's left leg and streching it out rubbing his fingers hard along the souls of his feet massaging them.

"You- you know you don't have to do that." He sighed closing his eyes, "The nurse was already here to change my cathi- my well you know-... This morning at about Five." His cheeks reddend with embarassment as he bit his lip.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to, anything to get you back up on these things faster..."

"I doubt it." Tom tilted his head to one side then the other popping his neck his eyes purposely avoiding Penhalls hands and his own legs, it had been over three months and he still couldn't look at them, he knew it was psychological... Hell he was a cop, he had taken the classes... But still it didn't matter, he couldn't bring himself to look. He couldn't 'Face his tradgedy.' As the quacks in the psych ward called it. And the few times he had caught a glimpse, his stomach would knot and bile would rise up in his throat and spread across his tongue buring his mouth as much as the sight before him burned his eyes, his soul and everything that he was.

"Tom-" Doug's voice held stern warning, He had really been a saving grace through all this... anytime day or night when Tom needed him he was there, like a night in leather armour with really bad hair where a helmet should be, he was there... In Tom's eyes it had given new meaning to the words best friend. Judy Fuller, Blowfish and Ioki had come by quite often, they would come by and check on him hang out and tell him stories about what was going on at the office... Sitting with him for hours, just enjoying being in the same room with him I suppose after nearly losing him, they found themselves simply needing to be close... to see him and see that he was still alive.

Booker on the other hand,... Tom hadn't seen booker since he left the hospital, it was like... once he was out of that place once Booker knew he was safe... he wasn't going to die it became harder to face him... Maybe. To tell you the truth Tom wasn't to sure why he hadn't come by. He had called two or three times, you know to check up on things...but never had he come by.

"So uh Fuller had a ramp installed and Judy is gonna take your desk for the time being, so your gonna take hers, since it's right by the door and all, we just thought it would be easier." Tom noticed as Doug's voice take on an uncomfortable tone, something it had been doing alot of lately, everytime he talked about changes... or the 'accident'.

"Good...That's good," Hanson nodded, Fuller had agreed to let him come back to work, not as a field officer of course, but there was a lot of paper work that needed to be done and filed, there was a lot of phone calls to be answered... Both Hanson and Fuller knew the truth though, Fuller wanted Hanson back at work and Hanson wanted to be there... well part of him did, so even if it meant getting paid to just sit there and file paper work at least he would be there, serving some small purpose...

"And he got new phones, with intercoms so that you can get intouch with anyone of us if you need anything... Even Blows got one in the janitors closet..." Doug put down Tom's leg and walked around to the side of the bed pulling the covers down.

"He must want me back there pretty bad if he even sprung for a new phone for Blowfish man..."

"I told you the place is a mess without you there." Doug walked over to retrieve the black metal wheelchair from the corner of the room where he had parked it the night before, pulling it up next to the bed he leaned down a little and lifted Tom from his bed. "Arms up."

Tom nodded and put his arms around the bigger mans neck as he was slowly and carefully lowered in to the wheel contrapment.

Crouching down Doug strapped in forst his left leg then his right then he buckled the belt across his stomach, this was the same routine as every other morning, now they would head into the kitchen where they would eat breakfast... A lot of times Penahall would bring over something that his on again off again girlfriend Dorathy made for them, sometimes he would attempt to cook himself... but most of the time it was Cereal... Cereal or doughnuts. Then once breakfast was done they would move into the bathroom where changing would commense... First his pants then his shirt, showering was done every other day at night when the nurse would come by.

Ah yes the nurse, she came by every morning at around five, it was to the point now where most of the time Hanson slept right through her visits, she would ifirst change his cathiter bag, then she would strech him and rotate him... none of which took work on his part.She also came by every other night to bathe him and make sure that everything was going alright... those visits of course took a lot more effort on his part.

So after changing, then they would spend another 10 minutes getting him back in the chair at which point they would then leave the house, take an additional ten to transfer Tom from the chair to the car... It really was a vicious cycle. But both men were pretty use to it by now everytime there was a doctors appointment, or a trip to the store needing to be made... Penhall was always the one there to help out. Henever bitched, he never complained and he always had a smile on his face, even when Tom could tell hhe was uncomfortable...

The traffic heading toward the chapel was packed, something both men expected seeing as how it was now eight thirty a.m. on a monday morning. "So my mom called about fifteen minutes after you took off last night..."

"She beg you to come home again?"

"Yep. She says she thinks that it would just be easier if I moved in there with her, and let her take care of me..."

"She is a mom Hanson it's her job to feel that way,..."

"I know..."

"Especially after what happened to your pop..."

Tom nodded, "But do you really think I could handle living there with her, I mean come on man, this whole thing is hard enough as it is... I don't need my mothers pity to make things worse."

"So how did you get her off your back this time."

"I told her that I had just finally scored a down stairs apartment after being stuck up stairs for over 2 years, and there was no way I was giving it up this soon."

"Did she buy it?" Penhalls brow rose as he pulled into the parking lot of the chapel

"Do you think she bought it?" Hanson swollowed and purposely kept his eyes on Penahll not wanting to look outside, he was fighting to ignore the vomit in his throat and the pounding of his heart,

"No." Penhall chuckled a little then glancing over he took note of Hanson's appearance and frowned, "Just don't think about it... Every- you know everything has been cleaned up..."

"They stil haven't caught the guy..."

"No but we will..." Penhall pulled into the lot and shut off the engine to the black lincoln town car that the department had all chipped in to purchase for him... or more so for Tom so that it was easier for him to get around.

"I just I didn't even think about seeing this-"

"Then don't." He reached over putting a hand on his friends shoulder, "Don't think about what happened, I know it's hard but you have to block it out you can't let it haunt you... You gave fuller the discription that you had, and we're going to nail this asshole, but in the mean time you need to get your life back... alright? You need tos start thinking about Tom and not... well not everything else..."

Tom nodded. "I know."

"So are you ready to go back to work then Officer Hanson?"

Tom nodded again and smiled smoothly as he saw Dougs hand slide down off his shoulder and extend towards his, the two of them then doing what was now known as 'The McQuaid Brothers' Hand shake, and ending it with a "HEH!"

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First off thank you thank you so much to all of the people who have been reading this story! And now secondly to answer the question, there is nothing that you should have really took note of by now,... that is still yet to come, because we haven't dove into the whole Booker situation just yet. This chapter you will notice there is no Booker although there was mention of him, I did that on purpose, I wanted to establish the bond of friendship between Penhall and Hanson before going any further for all of you Deluise fans out there like myself. Anyway thank you so very much I love critisism, and I love knowing what you guys are thinking as you read this.

Rosebud