"Did you tell Fuller?" Hanson's eyebrows wrinkled as he finished signing the last of the files on his desk pushing it to the corner of the desk, the whole Chapel now dark aside from the lamps on his and Penhall's desk.

"I did..." Doug nodded rising from his chair with a strech and a yawn, "You ready to go?"

"Yeah." Tom leaned down letting his brake off and pulling around the desk's front, "What did he say?"

"What did you expect him to say? By all right he should have suspended you until you agreed to go, but he figured, you know with everything you've been through he would give you a little lead way,..."

"Does that mean I don't have to-"

"I already told you you're going now that's the end of it alright?"

"Yeah, yeah." Tom grunted shaking his arms out, I never knew that working on paper work all day could make your arms hurt so bad..."

"Is that your way of asking me if I'll push you?"

"You mind?"

"Of course not."

"Booker does." Hanson mumbled after a few seconds. "Where did he go today? I never saw him come back after lunch..."

"I dunno... I just, I think he's having a harder time with this than even you..." Penhall cleared his throat unsure if he should have said that the way he had..."I mean-"

"It's alright Doug... Has he you know seen someone?"

"Booker? Come on man pulling his teeth out would be an easier task then getting himto a shrink... You know he's a lot like you in that way..."

"Gee thanks."

"I'm not kidding." He opened Hanson's car door quickly and began to undo his feet trying to keep the other man's attention on the conversation and not his surroundings,

"Does anyone know why he's acting this way?" Tom swollowed and then shook his head a little catching on to what Penhall was doing he closed his eyes and then opened them again.

"You okay?"

"Yeah... just keep talking alright?"

"Okay... No no one does,..."

"Maybe we could...No"

"What Hanson, maybe we could what?"

"We could pull his file... see what it says in there..."

"I dunno man..."

"Look, Doug.. I caused this, in someway this is my fault. I have to fix it, and in order to fix it I need to know what I broke,"

"The mess in his head is not your fault."

"No... Not all of it, but some of it. Besides, he needs help, I've seen the way he looks at me, the pain ya know? I just... he saved my life man, now I need to save his..."

"Are... are you sure this is something you want to dig into? I mean you have enough on your plate right now as it is I don't thi-"

"Doug."

"What?"

"Can you honestly tell me you don't want to help him..."

"Well-"

"He saved my life man,"

"Alright... Alright we'll see what we can do."

"Thanks."

"You owe me." Penhall grunted as he slowed at the red light,

"Just add it to the list man, I'm going to be repaying you until the day I die for everything you have done for me."

"You'd do the same for me right?"

"Well... I don't think I could lift you man, but everything else yeah..."

"What time is the nurse coming tonight?"

"She's not."

"Oh?"

"I gave her the night off..."

"Her or you man?"

"Both... I swear if I had to hear one more of the stories about her grandson..."

Penhall chuckled loudly shaking his head as he pulled up to Hanson's apartment complex pulling in front a spot now reserved simply for Hanson a "gift" from his land lady.

"I'll call and order a pizza, then I'm gonna go ahead and burrow your shower before it gets here, Harry and I had to chase some guy through Begger Hill only to find out he wasn't even the purp we were looking for..."

"Oh yeah?" Hanson now sat parked next to his sofa TV remote in one hand and coke in the other, "Was he a purp at all?"

"No.. just some kid...He'd lifted a candy bar from the liquor store and thought we were going to arrest him..."

"How red did Harry's face turn this time?"

"Tomato." Doug smirked as he looked through the phone book, "He's still two collars behind Judy..."

"Well tell him I'll donate mine to him, it's not like I need them..."

"Hanson."

"What?"

"Don't say things like that alright?"

"Things like what, it's the truth, and you know it..."

"I'm not listening...lalalala."

"Doug."

"LALALALA"

"Alright, alright, just call and order the pizza already will you?"

"Peppers and sausage?"

"mhmm fine."

"Good."

Once Penahll hung up the phone reciever it was only moments before he had grabbed a spare change of clothes he kept in Tom's room and was in the bathroom to take his shower. It use to be a very spacious place, enough room to move around strech out and feel comfortable... but not anymore. It was now cluttered with bars, a shower chair and other small devices that would help Hanson at least feel a little more independant when it came to the bathing aspect of his life.

Hanson grunted as he heard the shower start just as the phone began to ring, he knew he was purposely capable of answering it himself, he just... didn't want to. "PENHALL!"

Doug growled sticking his head out of the shower only a slight case of worry in his voice "WHAT!"

"PHOOONE"

His teeth gritted together and he sneered out loid even though he knew his partner wouldn't be able to hear him. " I AM NOT AN ANSWERING SERVICE!"

Tom groaned taking his break off and shaking his head, he hated wheeling this damn thing on the carpet, "alright alright I'll get it..." He was glad no one was there to hear the whine in his voice, "Hello?"

"Hey Hanson.."

"What's up Iokage?"

"I just thought I would call and see what you were doing..."

"You mean your calling to check up on me after my first day back?"

"And that." The other man sighed knowing he had been caught.

"I'm fine Harry really."

"Are you up for some company?"

"I got some." Tom rubbed his temple as he listened in the distance to Doug breaking out into his favorite Opera tune yet again.

"Penhall?"

"Is it ever anyone else?"

"Well you know maybe Jude and I should come by just to keep you from killing him?"

"What am I gonna do run him down with my wheelchair man?"

"You never know... Listen we will stop by the store and pick up some beers then we'll be over alright?"

"I guess..." Hanson's eyes closed in annoyance, he knew his friends were just trying to be nice, that they wanted to spend time with him, and make him feel comfortable... all that stuff, but this was getting quite the bit well... stupid.

"Alright cool, see you soon."

"Yup. I'll call the pizza guy have him add on another pie."

"Awesome."

Hanging up the phone Hanson rubbed the back of his neck and then leaned back in his chair finally opening his eyes, "Great...Just great." he let his eyes fall to the couch and then slowly wonder there way down to the chair he was forced to sit in now every waking moment of his life... What he wouldn't do to just come home... ALONE, one night and plop himself down on that thing. Turn on some bowling drink his beer and live in peace... What he wouldn't give to just be himself again, and not have everyone baby him, wait on him and worry over him like thin glass they are afraid will shatter.

"I'm gonna do it." He mumbled rolling himself over to the couch, "I'm gonna sit there...It's my couch these are my legs and I don't need everyone to wait on me like some... some imbisile... I can do this."

Leaning down he felt his stomach rise in his throat as he undid his left leg and lifted it up off the foot holder letting it hang there like the dead limb that it was. Then the right, same response... it hung like a stiff and lifless bat from a tree limb...

"You can do this..." He repeated again and brought his top half up right again to undo his lap belt, his eyes shooting from the couch in front of him to the chair he sat in then back again several times. "It's not that far..." he popped his neck and cleared his throat. His pulse was racing, his arms shaking, his heart pounding in his chest, he could feel the sweat beads forming and he hadn't even began to move yet.

Drawing his lip into his mouth he put one hand on each side of the chair and pushed himself up his upper body muscles tightening panic took him over as he felt his right hand slipping and pushed himself up and forward toward the couch...

Before he could stop it or even slide back into it though the chair behind him flipped backwards against his body wieght and down he went hitting the ground with a thud that had he still lived upstairs would have alarmed his neighbors. "DAMNIT!"

1111111111

Feeling horrible about his sudden exit, Bookers stomach turned as he pulled up in front of Hanson's apartment and taking in a deep breath, he had spent the rest of the afternoon and all evening walking along the beach, something that normally would make him feel better... Not this time though, his heart still felt heavy... And now he feared the others were mad at him as well, he knew he was being an asshole, he knew that he should try a little harder to get past this, but he couldn't not with the past that he had lived and the things that had happened to him, to those he loved.

Still though he knew that his personal feelings and his inner termoils didn't give him the right to make Hanson feel bad, to pull away from him, and his friends this was his to deal with and no one elses...

Climbing out of the car he closed the door and jogged up to the enterance to the building, he knew Hanson's new apartment building because when Hanson had first come home from the hospital Judy tried to get him to go visit no less than ten times a day... He never did though.

Third door on the right... He stood in front of it and fiddled with the edge of his jacket, the small amount of nerves he had had were suddenly gone, he was a bucket odf shaking limbs as he turned to leave only making it two steps toward the door when he heard the loud thud followed by Hanson's profane scream.

"Hanson!" He took a gaint step back to the door and didn't even bother to knock as he threw it open and stepped in his stomach diving into his throat..."Wh-what happened?" He took a few steps in the direction of the man now crumpled on the floor looking up at him his legs twisted beneathe him...

"I-I'll get it..." Hanson's cheeks were red with anger and embarrassment, his hands now shaking quite a bit worse, he knew he looked like a helpless flopping fish there on his rug.

"Where's Penhall!" Booker found everywhere to look but down at theman on the floor now letting his eyes drift away unable to look at him any longer...

"He's in the shower." Tom mumbled, "I think he fell asleep, he stopped singing about 10 minutes ago."

"He didn't hear you?"

"Guy can sleep through a hurricane..."

"Well... Let me um let me...here..." His hands shook as he took them from his pockets, their tremble matching Hanson's he closed the distance between them.

"You don't have to..."

"I-I want to..."

Bullshit."

"Okay...I don't want to as in I like it, but you can't get up off the damn floor on your own and if that didn't wake Penhall there is no way I can..."

"Dennis."

"Stop." Dennis kneeled down, "I'm helping you now... can I hurt you?"

"I don't think so..."

"Alright." Booker rose to his feet and then moved Hanson's chair standing behind his head and lifted him half upright by his shoulder blades, "Y-you still good?" He swollowed down the taste of vomit in his throat.

"Yeah..."

"What the hell happened here man?"

"I just I wanted to sit on my sofa..."

"But you have a-"

"I know Booker, I just I wanted to do something on my own alright?"

"Okay, okay...I just- I'm not to sure how to..."

"PENHALL!"

"You said yourself he won't hear you...I'm gonna have to get you up there..."

"He heard me the first time..."

"Was he sleeping then?"

"Well no..." Hanson nodded., "I'm really sorry about this."

"Yeah." Dennis bit his lip for about the twenty-third time as he hauled him up by his waist without thinking about it, not thinking about who was in his arms, not thinking about what he was just doing... just doing it.

Locking Hanson against him chest to chest with one hand he squatted slightly and used the other hand to lift his legs before taking a single step and placing him on the couch... "You alright? Did I hurt you?"

Hanson shook his head to embarrassed to say anything, and Booker swore he saw a tear in his eye but didn't push the issue as he walked over and lifted up the still tilted wheelchair pushing it against the wall...

"You um you comfortable? Do you need something?"

"No." Tom's voice was a whisper...

"Well then I'm gonna uh go..." Dennis needed to get out of there, it seemed like everytime he was around there was disaster in tow and he couldn't handle that, and he knew Hanson couldn't either...

"Dennis..."

"Yeah?" Booker turned from where he now stood in the doorway.

"Why are you here... did you need something?"

"No... no nothing forget about it alright?"

"Dennis."

"I just wanted to check on you..."

"No you didn't... You didn't come by not once since the accident before tonight, you need something... Now what do you need?"

"I don't know. I just I guess I wanted to apologize..."

"You didn't do anything.."

"I've been an asshole." Booker shoved his hands back into his pockets and fished for his cigarettes, "Look we can uh talk tomorrow alright?"

"If that's what you want." Hanson ran a hand through his hair, "You can stay if you want though, the pizza guys gonna be here soon, Harry and Jude too..."

"Nah..."

And before Hanson could say another word the man in the doorway disappeared leaving the door slightly open.

Minutes later Tom heard the door to the bathroom open and Penhall's head come from around the corner, his eyes grew wide as he looked to see his best friend laying on the sofa... "Hanson?"

"Yeah?"

"Ho-how did you? Are Harry and Judy here" his face wrinkled in confusion.

"Noooo"

"Then how did you-..."

"Booker."

"Booker?" Penhall cleaned out his ear with his finger thinking maybe he heard wrong opening the door slightly wider, "Dennis Booker?"

"Yeah..."

"Is he still here?"

"Nope he left."

"He came here, took you out of your chair put you on the couch and then took off again?"

"something like that..."

Doug tucked his wet hair behind his ear and closed the bathroom door the look of confusion on his face now worse than it was in the beginning of their conversation...a side effect that came with being Hanson's best friend.

Thank you all so much for your reviews, I really enjoy knowing what you are thinking while yo;u read... I like to know all of it, the good the bad and the ugly...So keep them coming.

Thanks again

Rosebud