First off thank you all soooo much for your reviews and your honesty! It means a lot to me knowing that so many people are enjoying reading this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it. Secondly I apologize for how long it has been between updates. Alot has been going on.

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Hanson waited nervously in the waiting room of the department shrinks office, Doug of course at his side. He didn't want to be here, he knew he needed to be, his job depended on it, but that didn't make the task at hand any easier.

"Maybe we could reschedule for tomorrow." He mumbled clearing his throat his hands fiddling nervously in his lap.

"Hanson." Penhall sighed rubbing the small amount of stubble on his chin. "You know you have to do this."

"Yeah, but does it really matter if I do it today or tomorrow?"

"Yes... Because tomorrow you're going to have some reason why you should do it on Thursday then Thursday you're going to have some reason why you should do it on Friday and then on Friday you're going to-"

"Alright... Alright I get the point..."

"Besides, what's the big deal? You go in there you talk to her for an hour or so and then you don't have to come back again..."

"Unless she decides otherwise..."

"I don't think she will, you seem to be coping with this pretty well..."

"Pretty well huh?"

"Well you know-"

"No I-"

"Officer Thomas Hanson!" The two men's fastly approaching argument was interupted by the short slightly larger gray haired woman's voice as she stuck her head out the door.

"You're up..."

Tom nodded the fear now substancially more evident in his features as he leaned down and released his brakes, "Don't leave me here alright?"

"I won't man, I'll be sitting right here when you come out..."

Another nod. "Okay."

"Just relax alright, you're going to be fine..."

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Tom felt an uneasiness course through his viens as he now sat in the small office of Dr. James Caldwell, The most recent Department Psych. It seemed like there was always a new Doctor, of course it wasn't hard to figure out why... This Job had to defiantely take a lot out of you, listening to people bitch and moan all the time. Tom admitted he wouldn't ever take such a job no matter how much money he was offered.

Looking around the musty smelling dark room he closed his eyes and drew in as deep a reath as he could manage, he knew that being here meant he was going to have to open up... He hated opening up to even his cloest friends... let alone some stranger... He was going to have to talk about things he wanted nothing more than to forget and feel things he never wanted to feel again.

His throat clenched as he heard the door open behind him signaling that Dr. Caldwell was entering the room. A vile taste entered his mouth and no matter how many times he swollowed it didn't seem to go away, if anything it just kept getting stronger and stronger.

"Good morning Officer Hanson." The man who appeared to be no older than 45 smiled graciously as he stepped behind his large oak desk before extending his hand.

"Good morning Dr. Caldwell" Tom knew his palms were sweating as he leaned forward slightly and placed his hand inside the older man's giving it a nice firm shake...

"Oh please call me Jim."

"alright... Jim."

"You are quite the hard man to get a hold of." He chuckled as he took a seat in the large black leather chair.

Hanson's shoulders shrugged as he gave a small curious smile, "Been busy I guess..."

The doctors head bobbed in understanding, "So I've heard, I've spoken with your captain a few times and he has informed me that you are back at the chapel..."

"Yeah... well you know, I'm not on field duty or anything just... Desk work, filing reports answering phones stuff like that."

"And how does it feel to be back there?"

"It has it's moments..." Dr. Caldwell watched Tom's whole deminor change as he spoke his shoulders slumping slightly his body shifting. "Sonme days are better than others I suppose, but my fellow officers... My Friends, they have made it as easy as possible on me,"

"And how Have you made it on yourself Tom?"

Oh no here comes the psych, mind reading bullshit questions, Tom thought to himself clearing his throat... "What do you mean?"

"It must not be easy for you going back to the place where the 'accident' occured..."

"First of all it was not an accident doctor... someone shot me alright? They didn't hit me with their car or accidently push me down a flight of stairs they shot me... and secondly I wouldn't be back there if I weren't ready..."

"3 months is not a whole lot of time to let yourself heal Tom..."

"I wanted to come back, I didn't want to sit around and feel sorry for myself anymore..."

"And did you do that alot after the shooting?"

"Wouldn't you?"

"I suppose I would yeah... I think though that I would find myself more angry... and maybe even a little scared that it might happen again..."

Tom could feel the doctor's eyes piercing him, as though they were trying to get inside him, see something that wasn't there... read him and his private thoughts... It would have sent a chill down his spine had he actually been able to feel it. "I'm angry... if that's what you want to hear, of course I'm angry... I keep thinking about all sorts of different things you know? Like If I had turned around, could I have seen them coming and maybe stopped them, or maybe if I had left the house five minutes earlier... But... I didn't and this happended and now I have to live with it..."

"And how do you feel about the fact that the man or.. men who did this to you are still out there?"

"You've got to be kidding me." Tom hissed in a mumble, he couls feel his anger rising up inside him like a pot of water he was quickly reaching his boiling point... What kind of question is that? "How do you think I feel?" His teeth were now grinding against eachother as he let his eyes fall from Dr. Caldwell's face down into his lap. "I want to catch this asshole and watch him burn for what he's done..."

The sound of the doctor's pen against his small yellow tablet rang through Tom's ears like church bells on a sunday morning as his eyes shot back up and he watched the blonde haired man's hand move back and forth.

"Captain Fuller told me that there have been a few episodes around the work place since you've been back... would you like to tell me about those?"

"Episodes?" Tom's brow cocked and he smirked, "Ypu mean my spazz attacks?"

"If that's what you want to call them." Dr. Caldwell folded his hands in front of him and leaned closer to Hanson, almost as though he were a school boy waiting to hear a story.

"I just... I've blacked out a few times, you know... memories, there isn't to much to tell there doc."

"Do these happen often?"

"Not so much anymore... I guess..."

"And what were those like for you?"

Tom shook his head at the question and then exhaled in an annoyed manner rubbing his eyes... "Um... Well I don't really remember them to much, but sometimes I'd be doing something... like my first day back about a week and a half ago, I went outside with Booker-"

"Officer Dennis Booker?"

"That's the one."

Another note was now being scribbled down, "Do you often hang around with Officer Booker?"

"No." Tom scowled, "I mean sometimes, you know were friends and all... Do you want to hear this story or not?"

"Yes I'm sorry continue please..."

"So yeah, Booker and I were outside... And we were in the parking lot, you know where the shooting occured... And I remember suddenly I just I got real cold you know like someone had pumped ice into my viens... no matter how much I tried to fight it, I just I couldn't..."

"Tried to fight what Tom?"

"The feelings... these feelings, and I wanted to look away, but I couldn't, and before I knew it it was like I was waking up from some sort of Dream... Dennis was crouched down next to me, asking me if I was alright... and i didn't remember any of what had happened..."

"Can you tell me more about these feelings?"

"More like memories I guess, you know... fear, pain... that kind of stuff... But that had to be the worst one, the rest we're just little flashes you know, piece of what had happened..."

"And how often do you see these pieces?"

"Not often..." Tom rolled his neck from side to side finding this situation growing more and more uncomfortable by the minute, "The doctor in the hospital toldme to expect them, he said that they would pass with time, and things would get better... said they were normal..."

"He's right..."

"Then why are you asking me so many questions about them?"

"Officer Hanson." The man rose from his seat and walked around to the front of the desk sitting on it's edge, "I can see how uncomfortable this is for you... But i need you to understand that my job is to simply make sure that your mind is alright, that you're well enough to go back to work, the last thing that anyone wants to see is something happen out therethat could have been prevented.,..."

"Out where Doc? I'm on desk duty and everyone is walking around me like I'm some sort of glass that they are afraid of breaking..."

"Does that bother you?"

"Of course it does... I mean I just want them to treat me like they use to, but insted all they do is ask me if I'm alright... or if I need anything... they crowd around me like an infant waiting to take care of me..."

"Have you talked to them about this?"

"No... I mean not really, I just figured that they do it because they worry... They want to help, even though there is not much they can do..."

"Well maybe you should try talking to them, ask them to back up a little give you some breathing room..."

"I don't want to piss them off..."

"They will understand..."

"Yeah?"

"Of course. Tom it is perfectly normal for you to want to find your independance again... But-"

"There is always a but with you guys isn't there?"

"But, you also need to realize that you're not who you were and that sometimes even though you don't want to ask for it, you're going to need their help..."

"I guess it's a two way street eh?"

"That's exactly what it is..." The doctor extended his hand. "Listen Tom, you seem to be handeling things well. so I'm going to go ahead and conclude my report for the time being, but please,... if you need something. If you feel like things are becoming to much, or you need to talk contact me alright?"

"Thanks Jim." Tom smiled feeling a wave of relief wash over him as he nodded shaking the other man's hand, it was almost as though a two ton brick had been lifted from his shoulders and somewhere off in the distance, he could see that eventually everything was going to be alright...