-1I am so so so sorry that it has taken me this long to get an update out things keep happening one right after the other in my life right now, but I'm going to attempt to update more regularly. Thank you all for your lovely replies you know that I love them…. So please be just as honest this time around.

By the time Hanson and Penhall arrived at the chapel the following morning it was nearly ten am. It had taken an extra hour to get Hanson up and ready due in part to his sore arms and constant bitching…. Then traffic was truly a bitch, they passed two wrecks on the freeway within the first ten miles of travel time.

"Hanson, Penhall in my office now…" Was the greeting they received the minute they arrived as Fuller's head popped out from behind the wooden and glass door of his office.

"Right away chief." Doug smiled nervously at Booker, Mac and gang who were all giving the pair a sympathetic we feel sorry for you look as they went by.

"Wh-what's up coach?" Hanson asked as he leaned down putting the break on his wheels while Penhall closed the door behind them.

"You're late." Captain Fuller sighed and leaned back in his chair crossing his arms over his chest and eyeing the two boys.

"I'm sorry-.."

"We're sorry." Doug injected correcting him as he now stood behind him elbows resting on the handles of the wheelchair.

"Yeah ..We're sorry, I just had some troubles this morning…"

"Are you alright?" The older man's eyes grew a little in size as he looked Hanson over with a quick examining gaze.

"I'm fine,… Just a little sore, Mac came over last night and was helping me with a few things." He rubbed his biceps as if on cue the muscles in his arms aching…. No throbbing from last nights work out.

"So I take it that went well then…"

"One could say that yeah… If you call severe humiliation, and lots of unwanted pain well."

"I do."

"Well then yes it went well."

"Good…" Adam got up from his seat and walked around to the front of the desk leaning against it crossing one leg over the other his arms still securely against his chest… "Your tardiness is not why I brought you in here…."

"It's not?"

Shaking his head fuller himself couldn't believe what he was about to say as he opened his mouth. "I need you two to work a case…"

"Captain" Doug's face showed more mortification than anything else as he swore his heart stopped beating in his chest.

"Don't be so quick to say no…" He let his eyes fall to Tom who was now just staring at him his blood running cold in his veins, sure he wanted to get back in the field… He loved being a cop, he breathed and lived being a cop…. But he imagined he would be going back to work with both feet planted on the ground not numbly laying in some wheelchair…. "I need it to be the two of you. You're the best team on the force, you know each others moves backwards and forwards…."

"You know that I can work just as well with Ioki…" Doug tried earning him quite a hurt glance from Hanson who finally remembered to blink let alone breathe… "You know what I mean… Don't look at me like that,"

"Doug." Fuller ran a hand through his hair. "Would you trust me on this please? I am after all the captain…"

"This is true…."

"But I feel like there is more to this then you are telling us." Tom's brow rose in suspicion, "Why after all this time do you need me? I mean… I want to get back to work and all trust me on that but what makes you think I'm so ready….Now"

"Well…. Mac." Fuller shrugged a little, "He and I have been discussing your condition both mental and physical and he thinks that the only way you are ever going to fully heal is to get back out there and face everything head on…. To remember that you are a cop, and that your job saves lives…."

"And….."

"And putting you out in the field can do that, Penhall will go in as your back-up as well as Mac and Booker so your not going to have to be alone at anytime…."

"What if I say no?" Hanson asks whipping his now sweat drenched palms off on his jeans as he looked at his captain with an expressionless look,

"Are you going to?"

"I don't know… But if I say no, are you going to fire me?"

"Hanson, you know I would never fire you, you're the best cop on the force…"

"I was."

"You still are, and that is what we need to make you remember,"

"But still…."

"Look if you don't want to do it I'm not going to push you into it, you just seemed like you were ready to face this demon…. But if you can't yet that's alright…. We can find someone else and you can go back to filing paper work and answering phones…"

"Coach…."

"The choice is yours Tom, either you want it or you don't, but I really think you have the opportunity to do some good…. And you might even learn a few things along the way…."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Both men asked almost in unison their brows raising as Tom drew his lip into his mouth and Doug popped his neck from side to side slowly.

"This case takes place over at Kennedy High….." Fuller hesitated before continuing. "Someone is bringing drugs in over there and selling them…"

"Isn't Kennedy that uh, special needs school?" Penhall asked trying not to sound discriminative…

Fuller nodded.

"And that is the real reason why you want me to go in, it has nothing to do with my ability as an officer, it has more to do with my current situation."

"That's not true, I could just as easily stick Hoffs in a chair again, but I know that you can handle yourself Tom… And I think it would be the perfect way for you to ease back into the field, you know without as much pressure."

"I don't know about this Cap…" Doug shook his head, "I mean-"

"I'll do it." Tom interrupted with a nod, "It might not be under the terms or conditions that I wanted to come back to work under, but I'll do it."

"You will?" Doug asked

"Yeah, I mean why not? You're going to be there, Dennis will be there, and Mac too, there really isn't that much for me to worry over is there?"

"I-I guess not."

"I need to start earning my check around here again anyway don't I?" Tom smirked a little even though his nerves were frazzled and his brain was screaming for him to shut the hell up and NOT take this assignment, he didn't care he needed to do this,. Not only for himself but to prove to everyone around him that he was still a man, that he didn't need their pity glances anymore of their constant worry hanging over his head…. He needed this to prove himself all the way around and he was going to do it.

"Alright, well… Here are your case files, and you start first thing Monday morning, that gives you a few days to prep yourself for this Hanson, maybe you and Penhall can go out to the shooting range and practice…"

"I'm going in armed?" Hanson could taste his stomach in his throat as he swallowed hard.

"This is just like any other assignment and these boys could be just as dangerous as the others you've busted before….."

"I-I know…."

"Then you know why you are going in armed",

"Okay coach."

Fuller nodded, "Hanson go on and finish up the paperwork from last night, Doug and I need to discuss the case that wrapped yesterday…."

Hanson nodded and took his break off before heading out of the room letting the door close behind him, something… Everything inside of him felt numb right now, numb yet afraid… He knew he needed to do this sooner or later but honestly he had hoped it would be later rather than sooner.

"You alright Hanson?" Hoffs asked seeing her friends paled expression out of the corner of her eye and excusing herself from the conversation she was having with the others who were now also watching him as she made her way over.

"Yeah…." He nodded, "Yeah, I'm uh, I'm fine…"

"He must've really laid into you good in there, is Penhall still getting' reamed or what?"

"No….Actually he didn't."

"Well then what was all that about?"

"He put us on a case." The still stunned man looked up at her his brown eyes wide, "He's giving me my badge back and were headed out into the field first thing Monday morning…."

"He what?" Judy's eyes were wide with surprise and shock, "No offense Hanson… but are you joking?"

"No…. There's some drug ring over at Kennedy and he knew that Penhall and I would be best suited for the job… so uh, like I said Monday morning we are headed back into the belly of the beast…"

"Are you ok with that?" She asked delicately as she nervously rubbed her chin with her forefinger watching him.

"Sure…. I mean why wouldn't I be, this is what I wanted, to go back out in the field you know? And now is as good a time as any to do that…."

"So you're on the case then?" Mac and Booker were now approaching behind Hoffs, Ioki bringing up the rear…

"Yeah…. I took it…" Hanson exhaled loudly… "I took it."

"Good,… That's good, it's a start." Booker nodded.

"Have a seat Doug." Fuller gestured to the chair on the opposite side of his desk as he returned to his own chair.

Doug nodded sitting down and fiddling with the name tag on the desk in front of him, "I thought we finished the paperwork on the Thompson case already…."

"We did…. That's not what this is about."

"Then what's up?"

"I needed to talk to you about Tom…."

"O…k…"

"This isn't going to be easy you know?"

"Then why are you putting him back out there so soon?"

"Because he needs this… He needs to deal with what happened and get some kind of life…. Some closure on everything… You know we still haven't caught the guys who did this."

"I know."

"He's living in fear, he might not say it, but I can see it, we all can… And if we put him back out there maybe he can remember the good things, you know that there is something he can still do, and he wont feel so useless all the time. I'm going to need you to be with him every step of the way…."

"So… He is my case then?"

"In a matter of speaking…yeah. I want you to keep your eyes on him and if it seems like it is getting to be to much pull him out without so much as a second of hesitation, if he freezes up who knows what could happen. The truth is He is not the same person he was before, he's not the same cop and he may never be again."

"He's my best friend Capt. You know that I'll watch over him the best that I can…"

"I know that Doug, that's why I chose you and not Booker or Mac as his right hand in this assignment."

Reaching into his desk drawer Fuller fiddled around a minute before pulling out Hanson's badge and gun sliding them across the desk, "You hold on to these, take him down to the main stations firing range this afternoon, I've spoke to the Sarg. down there and made sure that the floor will be empty…. Don't give these back to him until you feel he's ready…. Can you do that?"

"I-I think so…" Doug nodded picking up the unloaded gun and badge and sliding them into his pocket.

"He's going to freeze… You have to make him remember,…. If he can't do this then… Well then, there is only paperwork in his future, and I don't know how much longer we can keep him around here…"

"They can't fire him, it was a work related injury,"

"Fire him? No…." Captain Fuller cleared his throat. "They would transfer him to down town where he would become a lot more secretary and a lot less cop."

"Hanson would rather quit then work down there with those snobby dicks."

"I know that, that is why we are doing this…"

"Captain?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you think we are ever going to catch the bastards who did this to him?"

"I don't know Doug… I wish I did, but I just don't know."

"Are you ready?" Doug asked shutting the car off as he pulled into the closest spot available at the downtown precinct looking over at Hanson who was blankly starring out the windshield his eyes fixed on the building in front of them.

"I guess…."

"Then lets do this." He nodded climbing out of the car and going around to the other side to get him out….

"I don't know why Fuller is making you bring me here, its not you know… Like I've never handled a gun before…." He attempted as best he could to sound competent and almost cocky as he strapped himself in.

"He just wants to make sure your going to be able to handle it is all…"

"Has anyone informed him lately that I am in fact a grown man, a professional police officer at that… And I've been trained to handle myself in any given situation?"

"Well then this is going to be a piece of cake for you now isn't it?"

"Smart ass." Tom sighed loudly trying his best to seem annoyed holding tight to his attempts at a cool, calm and collected outward appearance even if his insides were shaking like a five year old facing their first day of pre-school.

"Shit-head"

"That's me…."

"Hey Hanson!" The man behind the front desk rose to his feet and smiled at the two men, more so at the one in the chair…"Didn't think we'd be seeing you down here anymore, are you the new desk jockey around here?"

The officer was Charlie Dunagan, an older man who had worked with Tom's father, and also with Hanson before he had broken his nose on one of their first times out and been sent to Jump Street chapel. "Hey Charlie, I see the nose healed up nicely….And uh no, I'm here for shooting practice down stairs…."

"Shooting practice?" Charlie eyed Penhall who nodded in response.

"You I'm headed back out in to the field."

"Oh…. We heard about your accident didn't figure we would you know…. Did you um get the flowers I sent….?"

"Yeah, they were nice, thanks…"

"That really was a tough break, did they ever catch the punks?"

Hanson's blood ran cold at those few simple words and his jaw clenched a little as he shook his head reminding himself to stay calm.. "No… No they haven't yet, but I'm sure they will…."

"Well we are all rooting for you to get back on your feet…" The older man nodded noting the change in not only Tom's but both men's demeanor and figuring he had over stepped his bounds and it was time to end the conversation.

"Thanks… I appreciate it."

As they approached the small cubical Hanson felt his throat close as though there was no air at all in the room his head spun lightly and he leaned back a little coughing trying to clear the obstruction in his wind pipe…

"You alright?"

Tom nodded.

"Okay good…. Put these on…" Doug leaned down a little to his knees sliding his own protective ear covers on and handing Hanson another pair.

It's time Doug told himself sliding the gun out of one pocket and a fresh clip out of his other… Sliding the clip in the click caused Hanson to jump as his eyes darted to his friend small amounts of sweat forming on his forehead as he chuckled a little nervously….

Taking note Doug frowned a little, maybe this was going to be harder than even he anticipated…. "You ready?"

Tom nodded not trusting words to come out of his mouth yet he made no movement to reach for the gun being held out before him….

"Tom?"

"Hmmm?"

"Take the gun…."

"Oh…" Hanson blinked and put out a shaking hand clasping the cold metal object in his palm and staring at it… "Okay…"

Biting his lip Doug reached over and gripped his hand around Tom's adjusting the other man's fingers around the pistol and holding it out in front of the two of them aimed toward the paper target at the end of the room. "Like this remember?" He let his hand fall down to rest on the arm of the chair watching Tom carefully.

"I-I know…." Hanson nodded stiff as a statue aside from his trembling hands with the gun out in front of him… How was it, he found himself thinking, that something to small so…. Inanimate could pack so much power, enough power to ruins someone's life… Or even take it? How was it that in a world as big as this one something so insignificant could be so huge….

"Take your time…." Penhall whispered,…. Pulling the other man from his foggy thoughts.

Tom lowered the gun a little his finger now resting only an inch or so from the trigger…. "Doug…I-"

"Don't even say you can't Tom… Come on…..You can do this man, you are the best cop I know…."

"I-I didn't think it was going to be this hard….."

"We'll do it together come on…" He whispered easily and rose to his feet standing behind Hanson's chair and replacing his ands over the trembling man's readjusting the gun and moving Tom's finger to rest on the tiny black trigger his own holding it there…. "You just have to remember these things do as much good as evil Tom, come on you know that…. It's used as much for protection and justice…. It's all about the person holding the gun…"

"I just…I don't…I don't want to do this…."

"You have to, you have to remember Tom…. Now close your eyes and just give the trigger a gentle squeeze, come on, it will be over before you know it, and after the first time it will only get easier…. You have to trust me on this….."

"I do…."

"You hold the power Hanson, not someone else, this is all in your control, you know that, now use it, just a small slight squeeze and everything will come rushing back to you, all the good you've done for people, the cop that you are…. Everything…."

Hanson nodded a little and exhaled loudly as his finger squeezed down on the trigger….. His whole body jumped and even with the protection on his ears he swore he could hear the firing bullet clear as day bouncing around inside his brain….

Penhall was right, everything came rushing back like a flood without barriers, but it wasn't all the good things, the lives he'd saved or the cop he was… it was everything else… everything from that day…. He felt sweat pour down his face as he remembered the cold chilling sensation running through his body accompanied by the loud bangs…. The screeching of tired…. The sound of his own heart slowing Bookers voice getting further and further away…. Fear…. Pain…. Everything hit him all at once it was like his own personal sonic boom as his eyes flow open and he choked out a breath…..

All he could see before him were those stupid bastard punks in there gangster garb and before he or Penahll knew what he was doing six more rounds were fired from the gun one right after the other Hanson's hand steady as ever his face determined he would kill them, he would take there lives as they had taken his….

Realizing what was going on Penhall frowned his face pained as he pried the man's finger from the trigger, "Hanson..HANSON STOP." He ordered

And then there was silence.

"I-I'm sorry….I just don't know what came over me…."

"I do." Penhall took the gun from him and popped the clip out… "Revenge."

I tried to make this as long as I could and I hope you guys enjoyed it… As always review and please be honest… More next week.